Why is it that everypony struggles to finish a story properly? Rarity finds out the hard way when she asks Applejack and Rainbow Dash to write their own separate narratives for an enchanted comic book to give to Twilight on her birthday. But Instead of focusing on what Twilight would want, Applejack and Rainbow Dash are determined to out-write each other with literary pizazz. There're common problems in both mares' stories, and Rarity must find a way to fix them both... through Rainbow Dash and Applejack, if need be. After all, this is totally about Twilight... ... ... isn't it?

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 81 )

I like how you submit this on the last day of the AppleDash contest, skirts. Trying to worry the rest of us? We all know you'd win hands down if you entered. :rainbowlaugh:

Unless... you are entering. Eek. :twilightoops:

Somebody likes the magic comic book concept.

Happy writing!

So this is... interesting. I'm not sure what to make of this, to be honest, though the Romance tag promises something good.

Seeing "Hue Hue Hue" in a story by you made me laugh more than it should have.

This is a great concept.

Comment posted by Pilate deleted Oct 8th, 2014

She enslaved space mules? I'm not seeing a downside to this.


Wait…APPLEJACK has greater imagination than Pinkie Pie? I call shenanigans.


I'm astonished Applejack could even write something literate.


AJ can't spell introspective but could write a comic? Are we sure she did that one?

This can only end well.


No threesomes? Awww.


Twilight Sparkle? A SIDEKICK?! HERESY!



sex? I'm not sure what to think about this. I thought I wouldn't see this tag until another #1 april.

but it's also rated teen, so I assume it's only referenced?

Rarity was always the clever one...

This is the greatest thing. Well done, Skirts, had me laughing throughout.

Comment posted by Lunae Lumen deleted Oct 8th, 2014


Pinkie Pie almost drove Twilight mad once already. A visit to Pinkie Pie's imagination could not possibly end well.

God damn it skirts, you've done it again. The hilariously over-the-top first chapter draws you in, and then you just keep reading because you have to know how this ends. You've made a masterpiece here, and you should be proud.

Exploder swords are my new favorite thing.

And unbeknownst to Rarity, they merely change the story to be about a foursome between the princesses. :pinkiecrazy:

Damn it, Twilight, you broke Rarity. Don't you know breaking ponies is Pinkie's job?

"And since when were y'all an expert on juries?

Heh, I think I saw an easter egg

You know you've arrived as a writer when you get to write a story about characters writing stories, and no one gives you hell over it.

kind of lazy at the exposition :unsuresweetie:

And thus, cowboy beebop and firefly were created as a fusion of what was meant to be! :rainbowlaugh:

it's kind of hilarious that AJ and Rainbow go overboard with romance, and Rarity is the reasonable one

I... really can't see AJ and Rainbow just being okay with Rarity's punishment. I also can't see Rarity doing this. I guess that should be fine, because it's comedy? mh. It kind of bothers me. I'm not that huge on this story, all things considered. It was really funny though.

I too am a fan of that colt in gardez

You aren't the only one it bothers. Forcing AJ and RD to have sex with each other, no matter how much they might desire each other, is rape. And that is not okay, and it should not be presented as okay.

I liked the rest of the story a lot though.

PINKIE PIE NEEDS TO WRITE ONE. NOW. Although i'm not sure if she could make something that sensible... and OMG CUPCAKES MIGHT HAPPEN. That's probs why they didn't let her write one.:pinkiecrazy::raritywink::ajsmug::rainbowkiss::facehoof:

Oh c'mon! :unsuresweetie: Does the romance tag ONLY mean these tiny tidbits? I was geting excited. :trixieshiftleft:

OOOOOOOO!:pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy: I think somethings gonna happen! :rainbowkiss:

I really love this! OMG!!!:rainbowkiss::raritystarry:

Love love loved it! Also, Rarity has failed. :raritycry::twilightblush:

yes, you know, sometimes it's weird to see things as they are. here we have SSE, a thirty year old genius, putting out a pony story, which is not even rated mature, that contains rape, and noone has a problem with it. I mean, it has 5 dislikes. and there are some people who dislike everything he puts out, so there was probably not a single person who read the story and disliked it because it contains rape. and you would think rape is a bad thing. well we don't have a character raping another, but instead one character forcing a second character to have sex with a third character, but it's still rape.

if we stop and take this completely seriously, we have said characters being forced to have sex for the ludicrously long time spawn of one entire day, that is literally 24 consequent hours, which, even given that they are close friends and might or might not have enjoyed themselves in the process, could likely be an event that drastically changes both of their lives. have they been virgins before? well, probably not. there is no consensus on how old the main6 are, opinions differ from 15 to 23+, but as it happens, Pinkie actually mentions in a very subtle way that she's not a virgin in EoP. Different universe, sure, but it says stuff about SSE's interpretation of the main6. and I think she also says that she's 23 or something, though that might have been a different story. Maybe BGP. In any case, they probably weren't virgins here. Or, if they were virgins at the beginning of the story, they sure as hey aren't now :ajsmug:

If you were to assume that they are in fact fifteen, which is not at all absurd, the idea of rape becomes even worse. or, you know, if they are even younger, who said that fifteen is the lowest possible age? but even if they are 25, none of that changes the fact that the act of an act of rape that also lasts for over twenty hours is a crime of so monstrous measures that you don't even want to think about it long, and it continues to fit worse and worse into a story of poni poni poni comedy the longer I think about it. And I happen to have this itching feet that doesn't allow me to sleep at 5am, so I thought about it a bunch.

in the Austraeoh series, people were complaining about every single mention of romance with an admirable passion, and there is (spoilers) a hauntingly beautiful scene at the end of the first arc, a short act of mutual romance that doesn't go beyond a simple kiss, which people were tearing apart in the comments; in the context of a story with a semi dark setting. here we have a scene of rape in a comedy setting, and... that's fine :pinkiesick:. well the actual reason why noone cares has to be that most people don't actually take it for what it is. your comment even got a dislike, which has to be for the mention of rape, making it all the more hilarious that the story who contains said rape most likely didn't get a dislike by that same person. Well I didn't dislike it either, after all it's just... rape? often considered to be the worst crime on earth? meh, people are exaggerating it anyway. rape has never been as bad as murder.

okay, so, I think SSE has given us enough to be generous with this misstep... if you want to call it that. At least I'll be willing to overlook it. it's fine. but we still shouldn't ignore the fact that you nailed it for what it is. which is, in fact, rape. rape. raaape. raperaperaperaperaperape... rapy? :unsuresweetie:

well, it is, in any case, hilarious that he does a story which contains rape and I of all people am the only one who cares about it. or, at least the only one who bothers to write about it.

but in all seriousness, it should probably not be rated teen.

Y'know, it's always bugged me that there haven't been more enchanted comics stories. It seems like there would be so many possibilities, and this is a fine example. I loved the take on the various genres, as well as the bit with Twilight at the end. Very cute, and very funny.

And for what it's worth, calling what happened in this story "rape" seems like a stretch to me. *shrugs*

This was a truly delightful read, I haven't read anything quite like it! It rekindled my interest in Appledash, despite normally being apathetic to it. Bravo~

:pinkiegasp:Best chapter ever!!!!!!
I saw this coming since chapter 1:pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

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