It's called garbage can, not garbage can't.
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When a bag full of drawings falls from the sky onto Applejack's head, she wouldn't have expected an old secret Rainbow Dash had been keeping to be revealed, for her to lose a fight with a fridge, and for the two of them to open up to each other in more ways than one.
But that's only if Applejack stops being furious at her friend for lying. Again.
Contains AppleDash, and fridge warfare. Rated Teen for the mildest of strong words.
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"When a bag full of drawing..."
That doesn't sound right.
5624076 Quite correct. Good catch.
I spend forever checking the story itself and I miss the description... time well spent I see.
5624122
I know why, and I'm not gonna say why
5624401 You should be writing!
5624459
Who tells you I'm not
?
5624465 The fact that you're here, of course! You don't have two keyboards.
I wanna' see your contest entry get a new chapter by the end of the week-end! So stop reading my stuff until you're done!
(thanks for reading
)
I think this may just be my favorite story of yours!
5624951 Yay!
I played this one much straighter than my other ones. I hope it holds up on the Daily: I submitted it there for their overly long and complicated named Hearts and Hooves thing dealy.
Not bad. I think if it has a weakness it's the perspective - this is essentially third person limited yet you jump wildly between AJ and RD. I can sorta see why you did that, but I'm not sure it was a good call since it makes the perspective seem unfocused. Third person omniscient would probably have worked better.
I also think the romance part felt a bit rushed. Or, maybe not rushed, but not paced as well as it could have been. They went from fighting, to dropping vague, teasing hints about maybe being attracted to each other, to making out at the drop of a hat. The story never really focuses on their feelings for each other, just their own issues. It kinda felt like the romance was an afterthought, rather than at the core of the story.
On the other hand, I really liked like earth/sky metaphor, and the use of characterization to drive the plot.
5625238 I probably agree with all of that. However, I ended up having difficulty singling out areas to improve concretely without redoing the whole thing, and given my deadline, I had to do the best with what I had.
I wasn't really able to figure out how to pace it better: I tried slowing things down more, but it ended up being filler. I suppose that's the sort of thing I'll figure out more with practice, and in the meantime hope most people will be distracted by everything else to notice most of these flaws.
Anyhoo, thanks for reading and commenting! I always appreciate feedback.
You'd think Applejack would feel a little guilty over wrecking somebody's kitchen or ask about the cost of the damages but it seemed like it was completely forgotten.
Anyway great story, good luck with that competition with the overly long name.
5625334 Background pony had insurance, I guess.
Thanks for reading! I may go back and have AJ apologize later when I have time.
The yogurt is probably a metaphor for something. I have no idea what it means.
5625589 Oh. Oh.
I kinda' just wrote it in because I like dairy.
5625594
So it's not a complex metaphor about Applejack and Rainbow Dash's relationship, having some deep meaning such that if one knew factoids about yogurt, one could glean some insight to their relationship? Maybe something involving souring or pasteurization?
It's just a random food? Is it apple-flavored?
5625619 ...It could be apple flavoured.
I like kiwi.
5625331
Yeah, I don't like deadlines for that reason. I much prefer to take my time and really think things through before I even start writing.
Honestly, the romance thing is probably mostly an issue of focus. It just didn't become entirely clear that they had romantic feelings for one another until the very end, which makes it seem like it came out of nowhere. Hence why it feels oddly paced.
5626179 Yeah, I know. I did do my best to foreshadow and drop hints, but short of bludgeoning the reader with it, I think I'd have needed a lot more time to do it right. At least, given my current level.
Still, I get better with every story. You should've seen my first AppleDash. If you thought this one came out of nowhere...
If I figure out a way to improve this one, I will, but right now I'm at a loss. Generally I leave a few days before publishing so my mind catches up with what I've written. Sleep on it a bit. That's probably what'll happen in the next few days: I realize the countless ways I could have improved it. A bit late, but I'll take what I can get.
5626211
Well, sometimes we just have to accept what we've written and move on with what we learned from it. Anyway, like I said, it's still a pretty good story.
5626236 You got that right.
Anyhoo, thanks for reading, and glad you enjoyed it.
5625085 I looked at that list, a lot of them look like garbage. There's a few diamonds though, like this one and a few others ;)
My biggest gripe here is possibly the broken back. I mean yes, cartoon healing powers but still...
5626258
I figured it was the only way to slow Applejack down. She's 'ard as nails. (that and I may have just finished watching DRRR)
Slightly disappointed there aren't any other AppleDash stories in there. I'd read mine, but I kind of already know how it ends.
5626277 If I wasn't in a writing funk, I'd have written something! But eh...
5626320 Don't worry, I'll be sure to pick up the slack.
Of course, your exact words were 'swarm them with AppleDash'. Do I count as a swarm now?
I don't think I've ever been in a writing funk. Just periods where the stuff I write is terrible, and will never be published.
Who was the pony that lied to silly pony, er, Applejack?
5626758 In the italic text? We go into serious headcanon territory here, but I was thinking of Applejack's parents.
Could've been anyone, though.
Fluttershy seems to have replaced Rarity rather suddenly right around this part...
5625594
5625619
Since I have a decent oppurtunity to use this, I can't resist:
i.imgur.com/QWGrU.jpg
5631576
Flutter...
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/If+it+aint+fixed+you+aint+usin+enough+if+you_f06e3c_4012071.png
I don't really buy the Rainbow Dash drawing thing, which is unfortunate, since the whole story hinges on it. I didn't buy the shipping, either; this felt like an excuse to have a big emotional scene at the end, characterization be hanged (despite you writing a good Rainbow Dash, I'm not even kidding). That said, it's one of the better stories in the H&H thing, though that's faint praise indeed. :/
5675605 I'm fully aware that there's a lot this story could have done better. I'm not in the habit of reciting excuses, but I do wish I'd had more time to work on this before it's deadline. That said, I'm not sure I'd have been able to make it perfect even then: I think I was a bit ambitious with all the things I wanted to do with this story. I'm still pretty happy with it though, all things considered.
In any case, thanks for reading (and thanks for saying I write a good RD: she is my favourite pony, so I like to know I halfway do her justice) and I hope you were able to enjoy it despite it's flaws.
5676631
Overall, I'd say I enjoyed it, yes. And I know what writing on a deadline is like, too. :B
5676923 Well, goody goody gumdrops.
Working to a deadline is a bit like an induction motor, if you're familiar with how they work. The rotor will never be completely in phase with the currents, and will always be forcibly dragged along, never catching up but never allowed to slow down.
I'll admit, that made a lot more sense in my head. Just ignore me: it's been a long morning.
I really enjoyed this story HapHazred, I have to say that your my favorite author out of all the stories I have read.
5709310 Aw, thank you! I try.
If you like AppleDash, there's more good stories on my userpage and in the AppleDash group (since it looks like you're new)
They're all pretty sweet too.
@HapHazred Im reading your Airship murder mystery right now. And yeah, I do consider myself an AppleDash fan. :3
Edit: Just finished your Unexpected Turbulence murder mystery story! Amazing!
Well, I came here for some nice AppleDash, but I must admit I like your Rarity here very much — her sense of humor and her methods of help, that's our Rares)))
6100153 Rarity is my third favourite. When I started watching, I wasn't so keen on her, but these days, the only reason she'd not my favourite is because I happen to like Rainbow Dash and Applejack more.
6100184 Appledashity then?))
*um, or Appledarity
6100207 I fear I'm not quite conscientious enough to juggle a romance with three ponies all at once. Far too confusing for little old me.
I just happen to love the whole artist thing she has going for her. And the way she overreacts is simply a joy to watch. Almost as fun as watching Rainbow Dash overreact.
6100235 It hasn't to be Appledarity, it may be AppleDash + RariJack. Then you deal with two couples instead of a trio)
Well, I just said it. Anyway, there's no reason not to love them ponies, be they friends or more than that))
Rarity's overreacting is an art form, yes.
GREAT story!!!
One of the best purely romantic fics I have ever read. I wanna read a sequel!
Mmm, just like me, Rainbow's a dairy lover. Altough I don't like milk, yoghurt is fine but my favourite is cream
Great story 