Do you need to know what texture an apple's skin has to be in order to be sure that it's ripe? There's an app. for that! Ever wondered how many apples it would take to fill the cement foundation of a skating rink? There's an app. for that too! Ever felt like having an adoracute hologram with orange freckles that you could summon at any moment to chat with you in a charming country accent? Well...

When Twilight Sparkle donates a bunch of crystalline "smart-watches" to the citizens of Ponyville, she unwittingly includes a free download of a holographic Applejack with each prototype. Now the entire town is enamored with utilizing their helpful little neighborhood apple pony. The only thing is... would the real Applejack approve of all this?

Cover art by Fozzywig

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 155 )

Already favoriting. :ajsmug:

wat ._.
*goes to read*

the ending was kinda sad... :applecry:

Oh lord . . . I'm going to go read all of these stories now.

Gawd that's cute.:applejackconfused: Apples! Apples! Apples!

The ending got me so bad. Intentionally or not, feels were generated. :twilightsmile: bravo SS&E

"Ooops! Uhm..." Fluttershy smiled, blushing. "S-sometimes you have to speak to it 'right'." Taking a deep breath, she rephrased the question: "AJ, when do you reckon potater bugs most commonly make lurve?"

I'm so dead. :rainbowlaugh:

AJ's accent was ridiculous, but it made it all the funnier.

I'm sorry, I don't speak Applenese. I speak Japanese. :twilightblush:

Wish this story was longer!
that ending tho... FEELS :ajsleepy:

Bzzz-zzzt! The hologram glitched out, reappearing with a wide grin. "Apples! Apples! Apples!"

I... don't get it. What kind of response is that?:rainbowhuh:

*stares at the 'Apples! Apples! Apples!' line* :| ....Hm. Creepy application pierces the veil?

The goddesses must be crazy!

Well, dear mentor and first source of inspiration, I have been driven to insomnia with the mad writing task now charged to me. I expect only abuse to my self-esteem in reading your instant-hit shorts. But...I'll admit, this one has actually rested my heart, giving my thoughts somewhere happy to be. Maybe I'll get a couple more hours' rest before work today.


I expected a a heaping pile of what the fuck from this story. A good pile, but a pile of what the fuck nonetheless. What I got was laughter and daw's and I greatly appreciate it.

Buck to unlock, huh?

Well, knowing Apple fans ... :rainbowwild:

Dem feelz do...

Lyra paused in slurping from a straw of hay soda. "That's racist."

Hay... Soda? I don't even.

Very short and cute story. Apples!

5539459 Yeah... fucking ponies man. Just... fucking ponies.

Maybe, but you'd think that Twilight would now ask for the users of that app to pay AJ royalties for using her image.

Or, if AJ had objected, Twilight could have sent out an "update" that would have erased the app 1 week after installing.

Right then, the holographic earth pony turned towards Thunderlane and tilted her had. "Would ya like me to reopen yer query on 'Hot Plump Zebra Flanks' from eight hours ago?"


"Yeeeeeeehaww! This snazzy lil' sound card here works like a greased-up monkey in a slip'n'slide contest! Whew!"

Lost it :rainbowlaugh:

an application who's secret name is skynet.


... I'm gonna forget I saw that.

I totally wish I had a little applejack to come with me wherever I go.


... was a great laugh up until that ending... and then you punched my square in the feels gland 0o'

Hmmm... God this is going to be a creepypasta any day now... *Shudders*

5540133 lol the thing is I almost always carry an Applejack and Rainbow Dash blind bag in my pocket with me. More specifically though I wish I had an AJ AI I could talk to.


You're evil, SSE.

Great story though! Definite fav.

Do you know that you're a big fat bastard that should not have existed?


Depending on how serious you are about it, you could give this a go.

Ba bahahaha! Loved it! Thanks SSE!

Wow. I absolutely love this, and I really, REALLY wish I had one of those. :ajsmug:

10 out of 10 for Comedy
10 out of 10 for Slice of Life
10 out of 10 for grammar
10 out of 10 for overall story

A like, fave, and this will be added to my best stories of 2015 folder! Grats! Have a stache.:moustache:

I did NOT see that ending coming... Good on ya. :twilightsmile:

5540428 Spiffy if I ever hit the lottery I'll keep them in mind lol

Commence read.


This is WAY better than Siri. That's for sure

Right then, the holographic earth pony turned towards Thunderlane and tilted her head. "Would ya like me to reopen yer query on 'Hot Plump Zebra Flanks' from eight hours ago?"

"Guhhhh-No no no!" Thunderlane batted and swatted at the watch until the holographic avatar fizzled out. "That won't be necessary! Eheheh..." He gulped and smiled Blossomforth's way, sweating. "So... uh... m-more daffodils?"

"I dunno," Blossomforth droned, her eyes like straight daggers. "You think it'll make my flank plump, Don Jockey?"


I give you props for being the only person I've ever seen make their username talk some form of shit about knighty. That takes dedication (or trolling), and based on the amount of time you've been on the site, I'd lean towards the former.

Now I just want to warn you that you never threaten knighty with a good time.

But... but my feels. My feels. ;-;

I was smiling and giggling throughout it all… and then the part at the end hit. My dog is now extremely concerned for me, and confused as to why his owner is currently sobbing hard into his fur.


but I did:yay:

i sincerely hope that this becomes a regular thing, it reminds me of a pipbuck, but 209001% cooler

you are a bad, bad person for making that joke :twilightoops:

I would've said "Minnesalta".

Oh yeah, still about 5K something words left...


Is there any path of logic at all a girl can follow that leads from hearing her boyfriend enjoys porn to being personally offended?


Much as I love seeing Spike balanced with the rest of the cast, he really loses his appeal when he's that pathetic or his scenes are that saccharine. The Applejack-centric ending was the right kind of sweet.

....Ok, who's going to pay Hasbro big bucks to start selling voice samples to GPS's, iPhone Siri, Microsoft's Cortana, etc?

Somepony PLEASE make this app!


Kickstarter...or Patreon, we gotta get this idea moving. Moreover...pretty sure my heart got ripped out there, right at the end. Still, we need an AJ app. STAT!!! Especially one that comes with fun little animations and the like. Pony Programs gathered from forums and bronies in certain communications companies GET ON THIS!! GO GO GO!!!

Awwww, that was adorable, silly, and fun. Had me grinning the whole way through...
...Then all of a sudden! Bucking two-by-four to the feels.... thanks a lot Skirts, I'm gonna go sniffle like a little colt into my pillow now.
Super sweet little story :twilightsmile:


Just why?

Why did you think of this amazingly brilliant idea, and not me?

Oh well, great story! Gotta like this.

Bzzt! A smiling little horse beacon chirped: "Yer sound card works perfectly!"

"AJ, increase 'Synthetic Drawl' level to Factor Five."

Careful there, Rarity. Dial her any higher and she switches from "Charmingly Rustic" to "Yosemite Sam".

Very well done, the serious ending kind of deflated me a bit for this otherwise upbeat story, but all the same it was very good. :)

Goddamn you. I was not expecting this to make me cry.

Like the story. The ending seem to come out of nowhere, and while it wasn't bad, it kinda felt off tone from the rest of the story.

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