• Member Since 28th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

shortskirtsandexplosions


space is a waste

E

Every new initiate to Starlight Glimmer's town has to spend the first week with the founder in her cottage. There's a deep dark secret to this, of course. Fluttershy's about to find out the hard way.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 79 )

oh god, this is going to be interesting.

I don't know what to say, it's certainly funny.

This was amazing. Thank you Skirts.

Cute Starlight is Best Starlight

This... was a certainly unique take on Starlight.

Yes, come in Fluttershy! You can stay in my sex dungeon... I-I mean torture chamber... I-I mean creepy basement... I-I mean... g-guest room!

The embodiment of Socialistic aggression should not be this cuddly...

What the unholy Austrian economics did I just read!?

“Say it, Mommy...” Starlight whimpered, her tail curling up to her thigh like a chameleon's. “Say I'm a pretty princess pony of harmony...”

...

“Hmmmmmmm...” Starlight bunched up a clump of bedsheets and nuzzled it like a kitten. “Zzzzzzz... Slit the foals' throats in their sleep... zzzzzzz... sell their kidneys to the black market...”

:rainbowlaugh:

This fic is no more or less zany than any other. And I'll cut you if you say otherwise. I give it an eight out of ten - just like every other story! :yay:

Well, that just happened. I have no idea what it was. But my life is better now thanks to this :rainbowlaugh:

“Maybe the chimney stead.”

should that not be instead?

And this was great. Starlight is to funny.

Ponies be chirping and cooing.

I think. I think you think ponies might be birds.

Or potentially cats.

Or catbirds.

SS&E thinks ponies are griffons confirmed.

Well, that was a thing.

5848640 Ponies confirmed to be part-cat

th00.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2015/059/e/c/a_conflict_of_interest_by_captainpudgemuffin-d8juhq6.png
th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2014/337/8/c/princess_of_mood_swings_by_captainpudgemuffin-d88lqht.png

“You... uh...” Fluttershy gulped an even bigger lump down her throat. “You d-don't want me to go lower, do you?”

A pair of eyes glared up at her. “What are you, a pervert?”

Nah, leave that to the other authors that took one look at Fluttershy entering Starlight's house whose minds instantly leaped into the gutter with a loud "GERONIMO!"
Myself included...

Well, that was enjoyably kaizo. Thank you for it.

Hmm. It seems the days of horribly depressing Skirts stories is slowly melting away.

But I'm keeping an eye on you. :trixieshiftright:

You would write something like this, wouldn't you?

“Hmmmmmmm...” Starlight bunched up a clump of bedsheets and nuzzled it like a kitten. “Zzzzzzz... Slit the foals' throats in their sleep... zzzzzzz... sell their kidneys to the black market...”

Wow.

5848640 Definately cats. Ponies are far more like cats than horses in every way that counts. Thank goodness too, because horses are disgusting! Cats are much cleaner and cuter.

5847480 Technically, yes, yes we do. One that even get some number of reads.

“Zzzzzzz... Slit the foals' throats in their sleep... zzzzzzz... sell their kidneys to the black market...”

What The Actual Fuck.

On a different note: Why just sell the kidneys? Why not sell all the organs, there is much more profit in that.

That explains a lot about starlight

Absolutely epic. :rainbowlaugh: Funny as hell yet never compromising Starlight's unsavory nature and Fluttershy's eagerness to please. I do love this pairing, romantic or otherwise. Well done!

Also, in the episode I noticed Fluttershy went into Starlight's house in the morning and didn't climb out of the chimney until nightfall...so was this like a 12-hour belly rub? Not that I have no problem with that. :heart:

:rainbowhuh:

Well, uh...

That was really cute. Also funny...and a bit scary, too.

5848867

Hmm. It seems the days of horribly depressing Skirts stories is slowly melting away.

Now you jinxed it. Watch him upload some horribly wrong, graphic and depressing ponyfic that'll have marsupials the world over bawling their eyes out and screaming in horror.

:trollestia:

Nobody but Skirts could've thought up and written this story. He's doing the lord's work.

Well, this was something alright.

I haven't seen the premier yet, so all I could do was imagine Starlight's voice as a stereotypical Russian male voice. I do not regret this decision.

“Say it, Mommy...” Starlight whimpered, her tail curling up to her thigh like a chameleon's. “Say I'm a pretty princess pony of harmony...”

I cracked up at this part. :rainbowlaugh:
I like your adorable yet still creepy take on Starlight Glimmer.

Wow, I loved this. Very original indeed, and some great characterizations!

This has entered my headcanon. It shall never leave.

5848771 No, see for the leap to include a geronimo means they're going down into the gutter. And any of us whose minds went that way to begin with are climbing up from below the gutter.

5849825 Because the top client is Eyeless Jack. :trollestia:

If I wanted to read a thesaurus, I'd pick one up and read that instead...

...what did I just read?

5848308

WRONG

5/10 so everyone is average, 8 is much too special

Hap

That was... well, it certainly was.


This story was too much! You get a like!

This is adorable and hilarious.

Phwuuguuu!

mglwnafh Cthulhu R'lyeh

“Besides, a pony with a coat as pink as yours couldn't possibly be villainous.”

:pinkiecrazy:

“Zzzzzzz... Slit the foals' throats in their sleep... zzzzzzz... sell their kidneys to the black market...”

Aww, isn't she precious?

Just wow. Hat was very funny! Thank you for the funniest thing I've ever read in a while.

Will there be a continuation? I ask this because this story seems to end in the middle of events.

5854617 There probably won't be, seeing as the story ends right before Fluttershy's escape in the actual episode.

Fluttershy fails in her mission, and the other mane 5 rots to death in the shack. Fluttershy is forever indoctrinated.

Sequel ty.

You know, I feel like Starlight makes some really salient points about the need to end belly-rub hoarding and distribute them to everyone.

“Hmmmm...” Fluttershy exhaled softly. “You know, maybe you're not really a brazen manifestation of oligarchical villainy after all.” She bore a gentle, sweet smile, cocking her head to the side with a loving gaze. “Besides, a pony with a coat as pink as yours couldn't possibly be villainous.”

“Hmmmmmmm...” Starlight bunched up a clump of bedsheets and nuzzled it like a kitten. “Zzzzzzz... Slit the foals' throats in their sleep... zzzzzzz... sell their kidneys to the black market...”

Fluttershy winced, slowly backing out of the room. “Then again...”

That was hilarious! :rainbowlaugh:

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