Sketchy wasn’t at Sugarcube Corner the next day. Applejack didn’t mind so much. It let her get her afternoon snack with a minimum of butt-staring.
He wasn’t there the day after either. Applejack frowned a little as she found a booth to enjoy her sandwich and smoothie. It wasn’t that she missed seeing him or anything, but the darn fool was like a cart full of fireworks rolling downhill, somepony had to keep an eye on him or pain and explosions were a near certainty.
She was halfway through her sandwich when Twilight stormed in, looking like she’d gladly strangle somepony. “Pinkie, one Pinkie Special.”
The entire restaurant fell silent.
Applejack’s sandwich fell out of her hooves to the plate below, scattering cucumber slices and lettuce everywhere.
“Twilight,” Pinkie said slowly, “don’t do anything rash. Just, maybe, think about what you’re saying.”
Bits of Twilight’s mane began to smoke, and her right eye twitched. “One. Pinkie. Special.”
“Don’t do it, Sugarcube!” Applejack called. “Not even Discord can handle those things.”
Twilight’s vengeful gaze fell upon her. “If you’d been through the morning I just had, you’d want a Pinkie Special too.” She levitated out a stack of bits and dropped them on the counter.
Pinkie sighed. “Oh well, the customer is always right.” She pulled out a red button and smacked her hoof into it. A hidden panel opened in the counter and mist poured out, filling the room as machinery hissed and groaned, raising a small platform that held a plate and one pink cupcake, covered in pink frosting, with a cherry on top. Because of course it would have a cherry on top.
Everypony watched in awe, a few even saluted, as Twilight picked up the cupcake and walked over to Applejack’s booth.
Applejack kept a wary eye on the dreaded Pinkie Special. “So, uh, what happened to your morning?”
Twilight sighed, “I had to give Spike The Talk.”
“Wait, do you mean,” Applejack’s eyes shot wide, “that talk?”
She nodded. “I don’t know how you got through it with Apple Bloom.”
Applejack cleared her throat. “Actually, I haven’t gotten around to that one quite yet.”
Twilight’s jaw dropped. “But she’s nearly at puberty! Her sex-drive will be awakening anytime now.”
A shudder crawled up Applejack’s back, and whispers of impending doom filled her ears. Apple Bloom, sweet little Apple Bloom, was going to be interested in—NOPE! Nope, nope, nope! She shook her head. That way lay madness. She had to change the subject, and fast! “Why’d you have to give Spike The Talk now and not earlier? He’s had a crush on Rarity near as long as I’ve known him.”
“True, he had a crush, but it was always fairly innocent.” Twilight’s expression grew murderous. “But today. Some. Stallion. Was selling artwork right out of a Playcolt magazine in the market without even covering up the explicit parts. Spike thought one of the models looked like Rarity and bought it, then he asked me why she was in such an unusual,” she cleared her throat, “position.” She closed her eyes and quivered. “Then, when I confronted the stallion, he had the nerve to ask if I’d be his butt model!” Sparks of magic flew off her horn, casting shadows across her face. “It took every ounce of control I had to not blast him into orbit!”
And there were those whispers of impending doom again. Applejack paled and sank down a little farther into her seat.
“Needless to say,” Twilight continued, “he’s currently in jail for displaying explicit material in public, selling said material to a minor, and for making indecent suggestions to royalty.” She tore the paper cup from the cupcake and shoved the entire treat into her mouth. “I swear, Applejack, if he ever does anything like that again …” She trailed off, and her pupils expanded to fill her eyes. “Wow, that’s … sugary …” Her head hit the table a second later.
Applejack licked her lips. “Uh, Twi?”
Nothing.
“Sugarcube, you okay?”
Pinkie appeared at the end of the booth, wearing a doctor’s mask. She lifted one of Twilight’s eyelids. “Hm, she’s gone into a sugar coma. Don’t worry, she’ll snap out of it in a day or two. Or three, or four.”
Applejack took a deep breath. “I think my life just flashed before my eyes.”
“Really?” Pinkie maneuvered Twilight’s unconscious form onto her back. “What did it look like?”
“A whole bunch of apples.” Applejack stood up, the remains of her meal forgotten. “Look, Pinkie, can you get her home? I’ve gotta go visit the jail.”
“Oh, you feel responsible for Sketchy being in there, since you gave him that Playcolt magazine and didn’t tell him not to sell the pictures he drew from it in public, even though he clearly wouldn’t understand not to do that, given how little he knows about Equestrian society?”
Applejack stared at her. “Was that another of your weird hunches?”
Pinkie laughed. “No, it would be obvious to anyone who knows you, and you’d be surprised how much I see and hear behind that counter.” She adjusted Twilight’s position on her back. “Anyway, have fun getting Sketchy out of jail, oh, and you should really give Apple Bloom The Talk soon.”
“Don’t remind me,” Applejack grumbled, heading for the front door. She might need a Pinkie Special herself before this was all over.
So that's why my wings had a mind if their own....
Thank you Rainbow Dash, Dearest Twilight missed that part of her ahem "talk"
No problemo, Twi wasn't born a Pegasus
Oh my head.....
about time Sleeping Beauty
And I did nothing as usual
9047738
Yup, sounds about right.
God this chapter I loved it.
Keep up the good work my good man
9047807
Thanks, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Yep, she's definately gonna end up traumatized. hoo boy
This story is good!
Why is it good!?
9047894
No clue. This started as something mindless to write between more serious projects. I can't take credit for any accidental quality.
I thought butt jokes were toilet humor, not sexual humor. Or are they the same thing?
Most excellent. Can't wait for more.
9047949
It depends on what you're using the butt for.
Aye saw me life flash before me eyes! It was really boring.
9048094
Mine looked like a junk food commercial.
I didn't read a whole lot of it, not into this kind of thing, but not here to troll either. Just here to say, in canon the ponies don't seem to feel the same way about that as humans do, which there are hints to throughout the show. Rarity didn't even react to Rover slapping her there, as the only thing that offended her was being called a mule. She even hit Twilight with it, which is further proof of this. Of course, fanfics don't have to be accurate to canon (like fanfics of Twilight being immortal or the Dazzlings still alive and young after losing their immortality as humans for a thousand years), so if you knew that detail and changed it to fit better with the story, that's fine. Though usually that would have an Alt. Universe tag up there.
I noticed that in my second episode, Dragonshy, which shocked me a bit but I eventually came to the conclusion which so far has remained consistent, and kept reminding myself that so as to not make it decrease my enjoyment of the show too much every time they make that kind of reference. But, definitely not judging anyone who does like this kind of thing, in case you were worried about that.
Also the flank and the rump aren't the same thing, though in two unpopular episodes Pinkie seems to think otherwise.
Wait, in a society of nudists who seemingly almost don't believe in criminal punishment, you can be jailed for selling pictures of people in particular poses on the street? That really, really doesn't make sense. It's generally legal in America to sell porn magazines on the street (laws have been passed at the city level in many places requiring some covering up of the covers, though).
9048237
It's just another sign of the damnable bourgeois-clothing complex of the Canterlot nobility being forcibly imposed onto the worker's ideal of utilitarian nudism, I tell ya hwat. The workers have nothing to lose but their clothes! Seize the means of production, seize the means of badonkadonk!
9048237
This is just my theory, but ponies probably have their own version of indecent exposure, such as a stallion's penis being out of its sheath in public. The full details of what that would entail for the pictures Sketchy drew were a bit too graphic for my tastes, and many other fanfics have had similar ideas, like ponies covering their genitals with their tails, so I didn't delve into it here.
Another theory, but Ponyville probably has the law you mentioned, where selling explicit material is legal, but it has to be covered in public. That, and Sketchy was selling it to a minor.
9048347
Well it'd be pretty hard to keep it in the sheath at all times, many stallions would be in jail on a regular basis!
Still seems like a huge stretch to me; keep in mind that it's actually ostensibly legal to sell porn to minors in the US (unless the porn is "obscene" for that community, in which case it's illegal to take across state lines or, in most states, own too...) and we rarely see royal guards in Ponyville at all, let alone spotting crimes. And I'm pretty sure he'd get a warning first even if Equestria had insanely strict porn laws.
Similarly, I think women identify someone staring at their boobs by someone staring at them and not making eye contact (as it's pretty easy to tell if eye contact is made); so I must reiterate it's odd that somepony else would notice a pony staring at AJ's butt.
Story's still good and interesting, but I must say this is abuse of the setting!
Sound like he is as autistic as I am, and being an artist help also; though porn is often used for artists as reference material and is an easy way to get practice on their own but it's only useful to an extent and need live models to really improve on. So far I like the story and I can't wait to see how AJ's friendship with him will grow. I wonder if he doesn't have an interested in mares and prefer griffiness instead what is use to blow a gasket for AJ if she tries to fluting with him. This is turning out to be an interesting relationship with him. By the way what does he looks like I can't see to recall his appearance at all?
If you are interested in cover art I am open for commission here is my DA gallery if you want to take a look at it.
https://www.deviantart.com/amalgamzaku
Good luck on your story
This bit had me cackling like a mad man. Well done
My favorite line so far
Well done my dude
Well....I doubt he even considers ponies attractive, so it stands to reason he wouldn't know it was explicit material, for all we know griffin beauty is determined by attitude or athletic ability or the shininess and curve of their beaks or.....something like that.
9050665
My guess, it's dependent on coat/feather gloss, muscle mass, and talon, beak, and wing size.
What is a Pinkie Special?
i feel so bad for him right now
ouch
9052068
A Schedule-Two Controlled Substance.
9052101
Probably should be classified as an SCP.
Spike: Hey Twilight! What kind of pictures are these? I never saw something like that...
Twilight's brain:
9058284
Awesome!
HEY TWILIGHT? OVERREACTING MUCH?!