Chapter 15: Head Butt
“Thanks for coming,” Applejack said as Filthy Rich sat down in the booth opposite her. It was a few minutes until noon, and already Sugarcube Corner was packed.
“I always have time for my best business partners,” Filthy said, “though I wasn’t expecting an invitation here given the, um,” he cleared his throat and passed her a small flier, “item Pinkie sent out in the mail today.”
Applejack didn’t have to look at the flier to know what it said. It was the same one she’d gotten that morning, advertising some kind of live performance at Sugarcube Corner for adults only. That last part was probably responsible for most of the crowd that surrounded them.
“Do you have any idea what she has planned?” Filthy asked.
“Honestly, I’m afraid to ask,” Applejack said, “but that ain’t why I wanted to meet today.” She took a steadying breath. “Did Spoiled tell you about what happened between us yesterday?”
Filthy sighed. “In exhaustive detail, though I’m not sure I believe most of it.”
Smart move, Applejack thought. “Well, let me tell you what actually happened …” She kept the story short, and fessed up to how angry she’d gotten at Spoiled. It didn’t paint her in the best light, but she could tell from Filthy’s face that he didn’t blame her for it. He didn’t even seem surprised, just sad.
“That’s about what I thought,” Filthy said at last. “I know a simple apology won’t make up for it, but maybe if I payed this Sketchy fellow’s fee-”
“Never mind that,” Applejack said. “Think about yourself for a change. You’re living with a wife that has a bunch of stallions on the side, badmouths everypony she meets, and I’m guessing makes your life miserable at home …” She trailed off as pain filled Filthy’s eyes. “She does, doesn’t she?” Applejack took his hoof. “Look, I’m telling you this as a friend. That mare ain’t good for you, and she’s using the bits you earn to make life miserable for lots of other ponies.”
“I know,” Filthy said quietly. “I’ve had more ponies than I can count tell me I should divorce her.”
Applejack didn’t voice her agreement, but she sure wanted to. Instead, she asked, “Why haven’t you? You sure ain’t happy as things are now.”
Filthy looked down and was silent for a moment. “Diamond Tiara,” he said at last. “Spoiled’s a terrible mother, I know, but she’s the only one my little girl has. I just, I can’t take that away from her, and that’s assuming I could even win custody in the divorce.” He shuddered. “If Spoiled got her, she’d do everything she could to keep me from seeing Diamond Tiara ever again.”
“I’m sorry,” Applejack said. “I don’t know enough legal mumbo-jumbo to tell you what the right choice is, but I could get Princess Twilight to put in a good word for you. That’s gotta count for something.”
“And what about taking Diamond Tiara’s mother away from her?” Filthy asked. “You, of all ponies, should know how much that can hurt a little girl.”
Applejack tried not to wince. Tried. “It hurt like you wouldn’t believe,” she said quietly. “Still does, as a matter of fact, but Filthy,” she forced herself to lock eyes with him, “can you honestly tell me having Spoiled around your little girl is good for her? That you want her to grow up like her mother?”
Filthy didn’t say anything. His expression, though, spoke volumes.
“I can’t tell you what to do,” Applejack said, “but I just want you to think about what’s really best for you and Diamond Tiara. The Apple Family will be there for you no matter what you decide.”
“Thank you for that,” Filthy said, giving her a weak smile. “Maybe I’ll go speak with my lawyer after Miss Pie’s performance, whatever it is.”
Applejack nodded. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“You already have,” Filthy said.
Sketchy appeared just then, pushing his way through the crowd. “Good morning, Applejack.” He glanced at Filthy. “Is he a new customer?”
“Not exactly,” Applejack said. “His wife was the customer who, uh, gave us some trouble yesterday.”
“Oh.” Sketchy shrank away from Filthy. “Is he here to challenge you to a duel?” He turned to the other stallion. “She was defending me after your wife’s unprovoked attack. There’s no claim for a blood debt.”
“Blood debt?” Applejack repeated, then she shook her head. Must be a griffon thing. “No, he ain’t here to cause trouble or nothing. I invited him here to talk and clear the air.”
“Clear it of what?” Sketchy asked, looking around. “The air seems fine to me.”
“No,” Applejack said. “I, ugh, forget it!”
“You tell me that a lot,” Sketchy said, sliding into the booth next to her. He fiddled with his hooves. “Would you rather I stopped asking questions, since they seem to upset you so often?”
Applejack took one look at his sad face and caved. “No, your questions don’t upset me. I just don’t know how to explain things sometimes.” She blushed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t lose my temper at you just because I don’t know how to answer your questions.”
Sketchy brightened up. “You don’t need to apologize. No pony has ever been as patient with me as you have.”
A warm blush spread across Applejack’s cheeks in response.
“So the rumors are true,” Filthy said with a smile, “you two make for a wonderful couple.”
“We ain’t a couple!” Applejack said a little too quickly.
“Technically, we are,” Sketchy said. “A couple just means two of something.”
“Not helping, Sketchy,” Applejack said.
“But it’s true,” Sketchy said.
Filthy laughed. “I’ll leave you two to enjoy the show. You know what they say, never get in the way of a couple’s argument.” Then he got up and disappeared into the crowd.
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I ship it. i ship it so hard
and AJ did good here. Filthy and DT deserve better.
That was beautiful! Sad and touching at the beginning, and funny and lighthearted at the end. The only thing that could have made this better would have been AJ face-planting the table!
Great job!
Sketchy is refreshingly oblivious.
This is a great read you are a fantastic writer.
Looks Like Sketchy got over most of it, I wonder where does griffin customs ends and where the Autisms starts with him. It was nice to see Filthy in this story and gives an interesting reason why he hesitate in devoicing Spoiled, still heiring a private investigator to doing some slothing around should manage to get enough proof that she is an unfit mother to take care of TD. I was surprised to see that he even had an apartment in Ponyville already, I though that he had barely arrived arrived there and had was staying in a hotel or a youth hostel until he could get something let temporary.
At the moment he seems to be well traveled to an extent and his not afraid and it very well willing to travail out of his familiar environment that, really helps to she that he has some personal resolve to him.
9060395
My Royal sitter? Don't want Sketchy to get a nose bleed 
Knowing Pinkie she probably got all of Sketch's lewd drawings and want to showcase it, and to not make him feel alone in his erotic artistry ways probably invited other people who do similar things.
lol silly pony
Fantastic job; as a man with Asperger's Syndrome myself, I really relate to Sketchy <3 How do you make your dialogue feel so organic? In my story, my characters speak like robots; I just can't get the hang of it.
I started this story because it was short, and an easy read, and because Applejack...
Now it's becoming more complex and deserves far more credit than I fear the titillating title, the simple description, and posterior-obsessed pun chapter headings will allow.
No complaints about the story direction, just lamenting that some readers may not give it at fair chance.
9060454
Thanks, I'm glad you're enjoying it!
9060503
Sketchy can be extremely emotionally resilient. Things still affect him, but he never hangs on to negative emotions when he can let go and move forward instead.
9060700
Works for me.
9060855
I'm really glad that Sketchy feels like a realistic and sympathetic depiction of someone on the spectrum. A good friend with mild autism helped me a ton by providing feedback and insight into the condition and how it would affect someone in different situations.
No clue how I write good dialogue, honestly. I've gotten a lot of complements on it, so I can only assume I do it well, but I really don't know what I'm doing differently than anyone else. I just try to imagine the character's voice as they say the lines I'm writing, and if it sounds weird for that voice to say certain lines, I change the lines. So yeah, I spend a lot of time talking to myself in bad imitations of accents. I hope that helps.
9060961
Thanks, and the odd thing is this story was originally going to be a short, stupid bit of butt-focused humor, but I kind of fell in love with Sketchy and Applejack's dynamic, so I kept writing, and writing, and here we are. So that's why the title and description are the way they are. The chapter titles are that way because I'm one of those weirdos who thinks puns are funny and wanted to include a bunch of them.
Next up, the shooow!
9061293
And what a disturbing show it will be!
Even Filthy ships it!
9061332
oh my...
Generally, if you can prove evidence of infidelity on the other partner's behalf, you have the upper hand in a divorce proceeding. If there are that many that can attest to Spoiled Rich's "dealings," it wouldn't be that hard to retain custody of Diamond Tiara.
That aside, this and the last chapter have been genuinely heartwarming. Nice job bringing that out. Quite unexpected in a story that I mostly thought would be a one-note gag story.