• Published 14th Jul 2018
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Applejack's Butt - Vedues



The new stallion in town is strangely obsessed with rear ends. Especially Applejack's.

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Chapter 15: Head Butt

“Thanks for coming,” Applejack said as Filthy Rich sat down in the booth opposite her. It was a few minutes until noon, and already Sugarcube Corner was packed.

“I always have time for my best business partners,” Filthy said, “though I wasn’t expecting an invitation here given the, um,” he cleared his throat and passed her a small flier, “item Pinkie sent out in the mail today.”

Applejack didn’t have to look at the flier to know what it said. It was the same one she’d gotten that morning, advertising some kind of live performance at Sugarcube Corner for adults only. That last part was probably responsible for most of the crowd that surrounded them.

“Do you have any idea what she has planned?” Filthy asked.

“Honestly, I’m afraid to ask,” Applejack said, “but that ain’t why I wanted to meet today.” She took a steadying breath. “Did Spoiled tell you about what happened between us yesterday?”

Filthy sighed. “In exhaustive detail, though I’m not sure I believe most of it.”

Smart move, Applejack thought. “Well, let me tell you what actually happened …” She kept the story short, and fessed up to how angry she’d gotten at Spoiled. It didn’t paint her in the best light, but she could tell from Filthy’s face that he didn’t blame her for it. He didn’t even seem surprised, just sad.

“That’s about what I thought,” Filthy said at last. “I know a simple apology won’t make up for it, but maybe if I payed this Sketchy fellow’s fee-”

“Never mind that,” Applejack said. “Think about yourself for a change. You’re living with a wife that has a bunch of stallions on the side, badmouths everypony she meets, and I’m guessing makes your life miserable at home …” She trailed off as pain filled Filthy’s eyes. “She does, doesn’t she?” Applejack took his hoof. “Look, I’m telling you this as a friend. That mare ain’t good for you, and she’s using the bits you earn to make life miserable for lots of other ponies.”

“I know,” Filthy said quietly. “I’ve had more ponies than I can count tell me I should divorce her.”

Applejack didn’t voice her agreement, but she sure wanted to. Instead, she asked, “Why haven’t you? You sure ain’t happy as things are now.”

Filthy looked down and was silent for a moment. “Diamond Tiara,” he said at last. “Spoiled’s a terrible mother, I know, but she’s the only one my little girl has. I just, I can’t take that away from her, and that’s assuming I could even win custody in the divorce.” He shuddered. “If Spoiled got her, she’d do everything she could to keep me from seeing Diamond Tiara ever again.”

“I’m sorry,” Applejack said. “I don’t know enough legal mumbo-jumbo to tell you what the right choice is, but I could get Princess Twilight to put in a good word for you. That’s gotta count for something.”

“And what about taking Diamond Tiara’s mother away from her?” Filthy asked. “You, of all ponies, should know how much that can hurt a little girl.”

Applejack tried not to wince. Tried. “It hurt like you wouldn’t believe,” she said quietly. “Still does, as a matter of fact, but Filthy,” she forced herself to lock eyes with him, “can you honestly tell me having Spoiled around your little girl is good for her? That you want her to grow up like her mother?”

Filthy didn’t say anything. His expression, though, spoke volumes.

“I can’t tell you what to do,” Applejack said, “but I just want you to think about what’s really best for you and Diamond Tiara. The Apple Family will be there for you no matter what you decide.”

“Thank you for that,” Filthy said, giving her a weak smile. “Maybe I’ll go speak with my lawyer after Miss Pie’s performance, whatever it is.”

Applejack nodded. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

“You already have,” Filthy said.

Sketchy appeared just then, pushing his way through the crowd. “Good morning, Applejack.” He glanced at Filthy. “Is he a new customer?”

“Not exactly,” Applejack said. “His wife was the customer who, uh, gave us some trouble yesterday.”

“Oh.” Sketchy shrank away from Filthy. “Is he here to challenge you to a duel?” He turned to the other stallion. “She was defending me after your wife’s unprovoked attack. There’s no claim for a blood debt.”

“Blood debt?” Applejack repeated, then she shook her head. Must be a griffon thing. “No, he ain’t here to cause trouble or nothing. I invited him here to talk and clear the air.”

“Clear it of what?” Sketchy asked, looking around. “The air seems fine to me.”

“No,” Applejack said. “I, ugh, forget it!”

“You tell me that a lot,” Sketchy said, sliding into the booth next to her. He fiddled with his hooves. “Would you rather I stopped asking questions, since they seem to upset you so often?”

Applejack took one look at his sad face and caved. “No, your questions don’t upset me. I just don’t know how to explain things sometimes.” She blushed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t lose my temper at you just because I don’t know how to answer your questions.”

Sketchy brightened up. “You don’t need to apologize. No pony has ever been as patient with me as you have.”

A warm blush spread across Applejack’s cheeks in response.

“So the rumors are true,” Filthy said with a smile, “you two make for a wonderful couple.”

“We ain’t a couple!” Applejack said a little too quickly.

“Technically, we are,” Sketchy said. “A couple just means two of something.”

“Not helping, Sketchy,” Applejack said.

“But it’s true,” Sketchy said.

Filthy laughed. “I’ll leave you two to enjoy the show. You know what they say, never get in the way of a couple’s argument.” Then he got up and disappeared into the crowd.