Chapter 21: Starting From the Bottom
Applejack sat at the usual booth in Sugarcube Corner, Sketchy at her side. Across from them was a snow-white pegasus mare with a blue mane and tail.
“So,” Applejack said, “Miss White Lightning, how’d you hear that we’re looking for models?”
“From Pinkie’s song the other day.” Lighting chuckled. “That’s got to be the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“No arguments there.” Applejack looked down at the photos Lightning had provided. They were all of herself in some pose or other. “So why did you want to be a model, then?”
“I’m saving up to go to weather college,” Lightning said. “I’d like to be a weather manager one day, but tuition isn’t exactly cheap.”
Applejack nodded. “Any modeling experience?”
Lightning shifted in her seat. “No, but I’ve always been good at holding still.”
Sketchy leaned forward. “Are you attractive enough that ponies would pay for artwork of you?” There was no challenge in his voice. He was asking because he honestly didn’t know.
Lightning blushed a little. “I think so? I’ve never had trouble getting a date, if that counts for anything.”
Sketchy turned to Applejack. “Does it?”
“I guess?” Applejack did her best to look at the pegasus mare objectively. She had most of the features that pegasus stallions seemed to like: a glossy coat, bright eyes, a trim body, and large wings. “She seems like what we’re looking for.”
Sketchy nodded. “Miss Rarity is in the booth behind us. She’ll go over the terms of your contract.”
A faint smile lit up Lightning’s face. “So, I’m hired?”
“Yup,” Applejack said. “We look forward to working with you.”
Lightning thanked them both, even giving Applejack a hug, and moved over to Rarity.
“That went well,” Sketchy said. “Hopefully the other applicants will all be as good.”
Applejack winced. “You just had to jinx it, didn’t you?”
( | )
“Sparkler?” Applejack said in surprise. “What are you doing here?”
The purplish unicorn slipped into the booth opposite them. “I’m here to apply, obviously.”
“Aren’t you a bit young to be doing this kind of work?”
“I turned eighteen last month.” She glanced around nervously. “Just don’t tell my mom I’m here. She’d flip if she knew I was doing this.”
Applejack crossed her hooves over her chest. “You can’t really expect me to hire you, knowing that your mom would be against it.”
Sparkler’s ears pressed back against her head. “Come on, I need the money to buy her a birthday present, and no one else is hiring.”
Doing something her mother would condemn to buy that same mother a gift. Now there was teenage logic at its finest. Applejack rolled her eyes. “How much do you need?”
“About a hundred bits,” Sparkler said. “We’re saving up to get her a new oven after the last one kind of exploded.”
So leave a whole family without an oven, or help a teenager go behind her mother’s back. Applejack thought about it for a minute then decided to take option C. “You’re good with gems, right?”
Sparkler looked confused, but she nodded. “My special talent is cutting them to be as beautiful as they can be.”
“And you’re plenty organized?” Applejack continued.
“I used to be in charge of Winter Wrap-up.” She blushed. “I know we always finished late, but organizing a whole town was a lot harder than you’d think.”
“I don’t doubt it.” Applejack stood up in her booth and leaned over the divider. “Hey, Rarity, mind doing me a favor?”
Rarity looked up from the paper she was going over with White Lightning. “What is it?”
“Sparkler here wants a job, but her talents are a better fit for you than for us. Would you mind taking her in as an apprentice, or a secretary, or something for a few days? If she’s useful, then maybe keep her a bit longer.”
Rarity hummed thoughtfully. “I suppose I could do that. Send her over as soon as I’ve finished with Miss Lightning.”
“Thanks, Rares.” Applejack sat back down. “Okay, I think we found a solution that’ll get you- Aak!”
She was cut off by Sparkler hug-tackling her. “Thank you, Applejack. I owe you big time!”
Sketchy watched the whole thing with a look of confusion. “Is it normal for ponies to attack their prospective employers?”
“Not exactly,” Applejack gasped.
( | )
“… And the water making my mane and tail billow out would give the pictures an otherworldly quality,” Sea Swirl said, a dreamy look on her face. “Just think about it, underwater art. No pony has ever done anything quite like it.”
“Maybe there’s a reason for that,” Applejack said dryly.
“Really?” Sea Swirl frowned. “Why?”
“You’re suggesting that we all go hop in the lake, you strike a pose, and Sketchy draws it. While we’re all still underwater.”
“And?” Sea Swirl asked.
Applejack facehoofed. “Sketchy, please tell me you can see the problem there?”
“Pencils don’t draw very well underwater,” Sketchy said, “and the parchment would get soggy. We’d probably drown too.”
Sea Swirl’s eyes widened. “Oooh, I didn’t think of that.”
“I noticed,” Applejack muttered.
( | )
Berry Punch grinned lecherously. “I’d love to show you every last part of me, so long as you return the favor.” She bounced her eyebrows at Sketchy.
“For the last time,” Applejack said, “the job doesn’t involve sleeping with anypony, especially Sketchy.”
“I know,” Berry said. “I consider it a perk.”
Applejack facehoofed. “Next!”
( | )
“So how did you hear about this modeling job?” Applejack asked yet another applicant.
Dizzy Twister, a tan pegasus mare, looked surprised. “Wait, I thought this was the line to buy some of Sketchy’s art. I hear he had a session with Big Mac the other day, and I’d love to see what came of it.” She grinned.
Sketchy reached into his bags. “I do have a few leftover sketches from when I drew him.”
Applejack groaned. “Not the time, Sketchy.”
( | )
“I’m told your artwork, rocks,” Maud said in the same monotone she always used. “That was a joke.”
Applejack stared at her. “Maud, what in Equestria are you doing here? You do realize we’re looking for models, don’t you?”
“Pinkie told me I should apply,” Maud said. “I think she wants to throw me a congratulations party if I get hired, or maybe a consolation party if I don’t.”
That wouldn’t surprise Applejack in the least. “Okay, fine, but do you actually want to be a model?”
“It would help pay the bills.”
“You’d have to take that dress off, though,” Applejack said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without it.”
Maud blinked. “That’s because I wear it to cover up the many scars I have from the time a rampaging dragon attacked the farm, trying to steal all of our crystals. I fought it for hours while Limestone ran to get help, and though it eventually retreated, I nearly died from injury and blood loss. The reason Marble is so timid is because of PTSD from treating my injuries and trying desperately to keep me from bleeding to death until medics arrived.”
Applejack could hardly breathe. “Maud, I’m so sorry. I never even realized-”
“That was a joke as well,” Maud said. “I wear this dress because it’s easier than brushing out my coat every morning.” She pulled her dress off in one fluid motion. The fur beneath was a little rumpled, but it did nothing to hide her incredible body, packed with muscle and curved in all the right ways. “Is this acceptable? Assuming I groom myself before each session, of course.”
“I- Sure.” Applejack turned to Sketchy. “What do you think?”
“I like her sense of humor,” Sketchy said. He turned to Maud. “You’re hired.”
( | )
The muscular brown stallion sat down with a grin. “So I was thinking you could draw a whole series of pictures of me in bed with the female models.” He winked. “If you know what I-”
“Next!” Applejack called.
( | )
“Twilight?” Applejack asked. “Why are you here? Sketchy asked to draw you. No need to apply.”
“Of course I need to apply,” Twilight said. “I couldn’t ignore the hiring process just because of a personal invitation. How else would you know if I’m qualified?” She levitated a binder onto the table. “I’m glad I researched this too. There’s a lot more to modeling than I realized. Its history might go as far back as the Venus of Whinnydorf.” The binder opened to show a picture of a stone carved into the rough shape of a pony. “In fact, such objects, or ‘Venus figurines,’ as they’re known, have been found all over Equestria.”
Applejack sighed. “I don’t really see what this-”
“Of course,” Twilight continued, apparently unaware that she’d cut Applejack off, “the reference to the mythological goddess is entirely symbolic, since the actual legends about Venus didn’t begin until over twenty-thousand years later …”
“That’s interetin’ and all,” Applejack said, “but-”
“… but mother goddess figures are nearly ubiquitous in prehistoric cultures, and they needed to be called something …”
“Just forget it,” Applejack muttered, leaning back in her seat. Apparently she was going to be stuck here until Twi finished her little lecture.
…
Okay, so it was a not-so-little lecture. Fine, Applejack thought. She could wait.
…
…
Applejack waved Pinkie over and ordered a snack. “Hey, Sketchy, you want anything?”
He jerked upright. “Wha- what?”
“You want anything to eat?”
“An avocado sandwich.” He motioned to Twilight, who had moved on to the effects of different parchments on the finished picture. “Are we supposed to be listening to her still?”
“Probably.” Applejack passed the bits to Pinkie. “Though I sure ain’t.”
…
…
…
“… And this new spell should help prevent accidental blurring.” Twilight smiled. “So, any questions?”
Applejack was fairly certain of two things: one, a brain was required to ask questions, and two, hers had dripped out her ears several hours ago.
“Will you give a lecture when I try to draw you as well?” Sketchy asked.
Twilight tapped her hoof to her chin thoughtfully. “I hadn’t planned on it, but I could come up with something if you’d like.”
“No!” Applejack shouted. She cleared her throat and looked around. It was getting late, but there were still plenty of ponies around to see her outburst. “I mean, the drawing sessions should be focused on drawing. Lectures would just distract us.”
“You have a point,” Twilight said. She tapped her hooves together. “Anyway, um, do I pass the test to work as a model for you?”
“Yup,” Applejack said.
That one word made Twilight beam. “Thank you!” She shook their hooves. “I look forward to working with you both.” Then she got up and walked to the other booth.
Applejack let out a sigh of relief. “I think that’s everypony.”
“Nope,” a familiar voice said, and Big Mac slipped into the seat across from her and Sketchy. He gave Applejack a challenging look. “I’d like to apply.”
“Nope,” she said right back.
Mac arched an eyebrow, gestured to Sketchy, and said, “I’m your brother.”
Translation, ‘You’re dating a stallion I barely know. What kind of big brother would I be if I didn’t make sure he was good enough for you?’
“We’re just friends,” Applejack said.
Sketchy nodded. “Marefriend and coltfriend, specifically, or so your grandmother says.”
Applejack facehoofed. “Mac, you just ain’t cut out to be a model. Don’t have the right presence, you know?”
Big Mac got up, walked into the center of the room, and tapped his hoof against the floor. He waited a few seconds for the other ponies to fall silent, then he shook out his mane, struck a pose, and smiled heroically.
Mares all over the room blushed and giggled. Five mares swooned. Three more started begging him to be their coltfriend. One tossed herself at his hooves and swore her undying love.
Big Mac ignored them all and gave Applejack that same challenging look from before.
“Darn showoff,” Applejack muttered. “Fine, fine, you’re hired. Just stop doing … whatever the hay you’re doing.”
Like a switch had been flipped, Mac went back to normal, and all the mares shook themselves as if they were coming out of a trance.
Sketchy stared at Big Mac with his mouth hanging open. “I’m uncertain if I should be impressed by your brother or terrified of him.”
“Most stallions feel the same way,” Applejack said. “Now let’s get out of here before anything else stupid can happen.”
“Psst,” Rarity whispered, poking her head around the edge of the booth. “I’m not sure how to say this, Applejack, but if your brother ever breaks up with his marefriend, do you think he’d be interested in going on a date with me?”
Twilight’s head followed. “Or me?”
Applejack groaned. “Too late.”
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lel Big Mac slayer of poon
Maud should work as a crisis negotiator.
Didn't think I could find anything eh? Hah! there's always something!
huzzah! a heroic Big Macintosh courtesy of the inimitable Baron Engel. And Edgar Rice Burroughs...
img00.deviantart.net/d4f2/i/2015/364/0/7/big_mac__john_canter_of_mares_01_by_baron_engel-d9m1wzo.jpg
Or, if we're going for a more gallant angle, "when I'm calling yoooouuuuuu..."
img00.deviantart.net/ff04/i/2016/348/e/b/rcmp_big_mac_by_baron_engel-darnfn0.jpg
Big Mac got SWAG!
I never would have guessed that Big Mac's work on the farm was his SIDE job!?!?
I believe Maud's dress is enchanted to seal the full extent of her earthpony powers so she doesn't crack the earth and unleash lava fissures with every step.
Like Belldandy's earring or Cyclops' visor.
Also, wasn't it Limestone who was traumatized by the blood? I should go back and reread that comic.
9066348
Which comic?
And I have that same ability muad has, the ability to make up believable stories off the top of my head, and then pass them off as jokes
.
It freaks and annoys the F
k out of people.
I love it
Wow. This was a GREAT chapter. Especially at the end
What Applejack didn't see was that somewhere a stallion just gained a sudden attraction to a red apple horse.
By the power of big mac *pose*
9066342
Don't be silly, obviously Maud was presented with the dress so that she would stop blinding innocent passersby who could not stand to gaze upon her radiant aura of awesome. Like the sun. The dress obscures her, making it safe for everyone to look at her. Like a solar eclipse!
Remember children: do not look directly at the Maud, even with a dress. It's just not safe.
Pu55yD3str0y3r
Canon! This whole story should be canon!
That's how good it is!
9066360
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/AnonsPieAdventure
Poor Sea Swirl. She just needs a large aquarium.
Maybe she already has one?
HAHA! Big Mac got swag
9066369
pre00.deviantart.net/e79c/th/pre/i/2018/116/5/e/yes__i_am_by_baron_engel-dc9xhhg.jpg
Nice to see that Maude hasn't lost any of her sense of humor, I always love those, I am surprised that Twilight or anyone else hasn't drawn any parallels with with her sketchy or Mudbriar. I am sure as Sugarbelle that that Mac will be a very popular model if he ever publishes an art book of his work. D be honest a casual lecture might be appreciated if only to keep the quiet at bay.
Liked, followed, favorite'd. Fuck yes.
I rarely see comedies with this much heart and style. Even rarer, long-form comedies that cast Applejack as a leading role. Fantastic work, friend! I love this story and hope there's lots more to come.
"Omigosh, Maud, that's horib-you're joking aren't you? Or maybe you're not...ah, you were joking."
I always figured Maud was hiding a knockout body. Mud Briar is a lucky stallion.
9065833
Unfortunately, I do know which feat you mean. *Shudders*
9066027
It's a good thing they already got their cutie marks. I don't want to imagine what they'd do if they thought sex might be their special talent.
9066073
Thanks, I wasn't sure how it would come across.
9066227
Imagine the CMC with that much sugar in their system.
i.pinimg.com/originals/fe/77/e7/fe77e75a3c93d2e8ad752c569a3a16b9.gif
That just about sums it up.
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static1.fjcdn.com/comments/Bitch+please+_cacb2c7a3ba735e3ce2b3c095cf440dd.jpg
9066282
Nice! I wish I could draw like that, but there's only so much time in the day, and I'd rather focus on improving my writing.
9066312
.
Well, you can't spell class without a-
9066331
She probably is.
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Live fast, make young.
.
.
.
Is that how that went?
.
.
.
Well, it should anyways.
9066785
Lyra and Bon Bon There too?
Dang, he makes them turn back.
9066905
Or they're both bisexual.
*le gasp!* Is that a nickname?!
God-fucking-damnit!
Not sure if Big Mac keeping Smart Pants has imbued him with the residual Want it Need it energies, or just has massive swag.
9067030
I had to include a good joke with the one character most similar to Sketchy.
9067611
Bit of both, I guess? Or maybe it's some earth pony power. Body enhancement magic might be used to enhance sex appeal.
i can imagine his tone of voice
XD
of course he does
...
I was just about to comment on the quote before this one saying “Big Mac’s a handsome stallion!” before I saw this.
this is HILARIOUS
I love your sense of humor my dude.
9067720
Oh, so we're going full Codex Alera on the power of Earth magic?
I am 300% okay with that.
A reference to the Traveling Tutor series perhaps?
And this is why Maud is best pony.
9098198
She became my favorite character to write for from scenes like that.
i.pinimg.com/originals/ed/2e/78/ed2e78c535839fac43ce0565a6e7d10c.jpg