Applejack's Butt

by Vedues


Chapter 18: Making an Ass of Yourself

Applejack got to Sugarcube Corner a few minutes early the next day. Everything was going to be fine, she told herself as she walked inside. Mr. Cake was at the counter today. That was good. Pinkie could always tell when something was bugging her. She approached the counter, doing her best to look calm. “Afternoon. How’s business?”

Mr. Cake smiled. “Not too busy, not too slow. How about you, already finished with with your farm work for the day?”

“Mostly,” Applejack said, glancing at the door. No Sketchy yet. “I’m in charge of dinner tonight, but there were a few things I needed to take care of in town first.” She glanced at the display case. “Oh, and two blueberry muffins, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” Mr. Cake grabbed the muffins for her. “Four bits, and are you here to meet up with your coltfriend?”

Applejack passed him the bits. “Yup, we’ve got an appointment with Cloud Kicker and …” She replayed his question in her mind. “Did you just call Sketchy my coltfriend?”

Mr. Cake looked confused. “Oh, are you not officially together yet? Pinkie said you were dating somepony.”

“We only went on one date,” Applejack said, “and that was only because Rarity insists on playing matchmaker.” She shook her head and took the muffins. “Never mind, thanks for the grub.” Then she retreated to Sketchy’s usual booth and settled down to wait.

Sketchy walked in a bit later. Applejack paused for a second to just look at him. Gray coat, black mane and tail, medium build, and a pair of worn saddlebags across his hips. He was the same as he’d always been.

Applejack didn’t know why she’d expected anything else, but it made her smile regardless.

He turned to her with those steely gray eyes that were always moving. It was like he was drawing a picture with his gaze, now that she thought about it. He took a seat opposite her. “Good afternoon.”

“Afternoon.” Applejack passed him one of the muffins. She fiddled with the other in her hooves. Should she tell him about what Twilight had said? It would feel kinda like lying if she didn’t, but how could she say that she’d had him checked out for mental problems without it sounding like a serious insult. For that matter, wasn’t it a serious insult? She cleared her throat. “So, uh, how’d things go with the spa twins yesterday?”

“They gave me a coupon for a free spa session,” Sketchy said. “I would’ve reduced my price by an appropriate amount to compensate, but they insisted it was a gift.”

“They do that with everypony from time to time,” Applejack said. “A free session reminds ponies how good it feels to be pampered, earning them a bunch of repeat customers.”

“I think I understand,” Sketchy said. He took a careful bite of his muffin.

Applejack watched him, hoping the right words would come to her. They didn’t.

“Very tasty,” Sketchy said, taking another bite of his muffin. “When should we go to Cloud Kicker’s?”

“Soon,” Applejack said, “just …” She grit her teeth. “Sketchy, do you ever feel like you’re different than other ponies?”

“All the time,” Sketchy said with a sigh. “I wish I could be back home. At least I understood how things worked there.”

“I understand,” Applejack said, “but, uh, Twilight—no, Twilight and I—think that you might have a disorder that makes it harder for you to communicate with other ponies, and probably griffons too.” She stared down at her muffin, worried that he’d be upset or angry.

Sketchy was quiet for a bit, but when he did speak, it was calm and relaxed. “I suppose I might.” He shrugged and took another bite of his muffin. “How much are these? I might buy another one before we go.”

Applejack’s jaw nearly dropped. “Aren’t you upset? I’m supposed to be your friend, but here I am, thinking you’ve got a problem with your brain.”

Sketchy set down his muffin and looked at her. “Should I be upset?”

“I don’t know.” Applejack sank her head onto the table. “Twilight said if you had a condition, then understanding it would help, and I let her talk me into letting her evaluate you, and she thinks you do have a condition, and I can’t help feeling like I betrayed your trust somehow.”

“I don’t understand any of that,” Sketchy said. “How did you betray me if you did something that you thought would help and then told me all about it afterwards?”

“What about suspecting you have some kind of mind problem?” Applejack said, face still on the table.

Sketchy shrugged. “If there’s evidence to support that view, then I don’t see the problem. You said it had something to do with making communication more difficult, and I’ve gotten in lots of trouble due to communication problems.” Another shrug, then he went back to his muffin. “Why would I be upset that you noticed something obvious about me?”

Applejack didn’t know why, but his calm acceptance just made her feel worse. He was supposed to get angry or something, make her work for his forgiveness. Her mind latched onto that thought. “Can I do anything to make it up to you?”

“Make what up to me?” Sketchy asked. “I already said that I’m not upset.”

“I know,” Applejack said, “but … I dunno, I just feel like owe you one for going behind your back to get you checked out.”

“You could model a few pictures for me,” Sketchy said. “I know you’d rather not, so that would make it a meaningful favor, right? Or is that too much of a favor for the perceived offense? I could come up with a smaller favor, if that would work better.”

Applejack froze. It was tempting to have him come up with something else, more tempting than she wanted to admit, but she knew it would just make her feel worse. “N-no, I’ll,” she blushed, “I’ll model whatever you want me to.”

“Thank you,” Sketchy said. “Or should I say, ‘It’s a deal’?”

“I guess ‘thank you,’” Applejack said. She picked up her muffin and took a bite out of it, enjoying the familiar taste of blueberries. “We should leave to Cloud Kicker’s as soon as we finish these.”

“Understood.” Sketchy paused for a moment and looked over at her. “Is it appropriate to say that I look forward to drawing you in provocative positions?”

Applejack’s cheeks suddenly felt like they were on fire. “I, uh, well, thanks for saying so,” she looked down, “but, er, I thought you weren’t attracted to ponies, you know, that way.”

Sketchy frowned slightly and stared into the distance. “Now that you mention it, I suppose that has changed at some point.” His frown deepened, and his ears folded back against his head. “Is that bad? I could try to be less attracted to you, if you want.”

“No, no,” Applejack said quickly, fighting down a smile. “I’m, uh, I’m glad to hear it.”