• Member Since 4th May, 2015
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Reiuji Laevateinn


I update stories slower than snails can evolve legs. Trying to break out of a writer’s block, so keep expectations low

T

(This is a Displaced Story. If you hate them, please leave)
People don't know how agonizing it is being alone for a few thousand years, stuck in a chair the whole time. Let me tell you, it's not fun. Then, this teeny weeny 'Princess' shows up and acts like she's the boss. Oh, and Sparklebutt is there too.

So, how did this happen? It's was probably that angsty Merchant asshole. Should never have bought from him. News flash kids: when a creepy Merchant guy walks up to you with very desirable wares, walk the fuck away. It's a damn trap.



But the worst part of my endless torment? I'm a fucking corpse sitting on a golden throne, writhing in agony as I slowly decay into nothingness.

....fuck you, Merchant Asshole.

And Sparklebutt, JUST. FUCKING. STOP.

(If The Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device)

Chapters (23)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 546 )

6509669

YOUR DAMN RIGHT IT ISNT!

remember,Displaced. I'll add a chapter of how this unlucky asshole gets displaced in an unmoving chair as a decayed corpse later.

I feel bad for him. And there goes the feeling, replaced by disappointment.

6509693

Ask, and you shall receive.

Hmm... now how to have the two biggest 'Fourth Wall Fuckery' creatures in the Multiverse to interact...


I hope they don't notice me.

6509719 Hey is it weird that I'm a fan of the 'If The Emperor had a Text-to-Speech Device' webseries yet have never played Warhammer 40K?

6509684 *You're

Wait a moment for the irony of an ork correcting you to sink in.

Well shit.... 13 likes and favorites in only an hour of being submitted and accepted....... I'm going to need to update this more.

6509843 You better update soon. All hail The Man-Emperor of Mankind!

6509866 and I shall. But my first order of business is to rewatch the series so I can make a bunch of references.

After all, why wouldn't the new Man-Emperor of Mankind make references about himself? He's too glorious not to!

6509987

Probably won't. I mean, how the fuck do you make a token when your imprisoned on a golden throne and raked with agony constantly? And how do you pick one up?

I probably shouldn't say these things, due to the fact that he's 'The Motherfucking Emperor' and he can do what he wants.

dit: I just had an idea.

I could make it so the Emperor sends his spirit into other dimesnions, and let other people do what they want with it, and at least let me know about it in advance. As for me, I ain't gotta do no crossovers, because the real Emperor will still be on his throne!

Even though Tia seem out of character when talking to the guards... I'm okay with this ^_^

6510049

It was the first ten minutes of dawn when this happened. No one should be awake at that time and NOT be a bit out of character

6509869

Heh heh. Good to see Nurgle still doing his phantom nose itching.

Good stuff bud. Keep at it.

6510105

No matter where he is, the itch will follow. Even if it's not him. As long as the person's using his body, the itch will persist

As a fan of If The Emperor Has A Text-To-Speech Device, I'm digging this.
Are you going to make the Emps poke fun at the shit that keeps happening in Equestria, by the way?

Comment posted by Reasontheysuck deleted Oct 10th, 2015

6510279


Oh hell to the yes he is. After all, what fun is there in not doing so?

6509947

What if I told you I had the next chapter already complete, and I am just waiting for tomorrow to upload it?

Well, this would be heretical, but it's boring and inane enough not to be.

Congratulations, I guess.

Oh this will be amusing. I always got a kick out of the fact the technology of the 2nd Millennium gave the Emperor a voice in the 40th.

Ugh that sucks, stuck as post-heresy emperor :twilightoops:

This may not sound like constructive criticism, but I promise you it is. Do you think you could try to make your description less cliche? Maybe something to make it stand out from other displaced stories? As it stands it drives me away because it doesn't seem any different from any other story of its kind, and I bet that is what plenty of others think as well. I understand that descriptions can be difficult, heck I used a part of my story as my description, but everyone judges a book by its cover.

Well , I don't like displaced stories that much so I am going to pass.
However , I find it amusing that the first thing that came to my mind when I read the abriged decription was "huh , I hope for him that he has a text to speech device..."

Now then. While I find this promising on the concept level I reserve any further judgement until we have seen a bit more of this. I have tracked far too many promising fics only for them to just dry up and disappoint before they managed to reach even the 10k words level. Once you manage that I'll give you a more reliable opinion.

6510452 Well hey, you can sit around and shit warp storms at random. And then there's also bingo night with Tzeentch and the others

:rainbowlaugh::facehoof: Oh, this is great. Waiting for more.

6511569 also unrivaled psychic powers... just shit out a mother fucking space hulk and have it ram into the planet
kinda like this only with warp fuckery instead of imperial cheese strategy skip to 7:22 for reference

6511596 yeah.... he could do that....

Or ram it into the moon if Luna makes him mad:pinkiecrazy:

6511626 yep.

And it gets even worse when someone puts a tantalizing piece of information about the next chapter

....I'm an evil sonofabitch

6511718

Ok, so note to self: I am good at writing stories with characters who are total douchbags to everyone else. Good to know

6511569 Psychic powers, can freeze time for a short time, take your pick of the various badass things things he can do....

Hey wait, why didn't he astral project and explore the world, he couldn't of chosen that costume if he didn't know the emperor well enough. The emperor can still do a ton of things while interred on the golden throne :rainbowhuh:

6511879 When he first arrived, the world was a desolate wasteland. Kinda like when the planet was born. Eventually, at year 1000 Before Ponies, he stopped looking and waited.

6511886 Fair enough but he'd still be psychically sensitive to notice the spark of intelligence forming miles above him eventually....

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!