Twilight's POV
"Princess Celestia, we came as fast as we could!" Me and my friends burst into the throne room. Celestia turned and greeted us eagerly.
"Welcome, Twilight and friends. I have brought you here today because earlier in the morning, our guards discovered a extra room in the basement. Inside was a glorious room, and at the center sat the decayed corpse of a alien life form." Celestia explained. Applejack tilted her head.
"What? So ya brought us all th' way up 'ere, just so we could see some dead alien?" She asked. Celestia sighed.
"If only it were so. The thing is, this 'decayed' body is still alive. And it can speak to us through some sort of speech device. Follow me. It is easier to see than to explain." She then led us down a bunch of stairs to what I presumed was 'the basement'. To the left there was a glowing hole, and two voices could be heard. We glanced inside, to see a glorious room made out of pure gold. (I ain't explaining it again)
At the middle was a pony guard wearing a pointy golden helmet.
"You will remove the headgear at once, you pathetic pony." A deep voice rumbled.
"Or what? You're a corpse sitting on a throne! You ain't gonna do shi-" The guard was interrupted as a force of energy blew into his side, causing him to go flying into the wall, the helmet clattering to the ground.
"Don't even make that reference. And also, I'm the Motherfucking Emperor. When I want something done, it better damn well be done. Oh look, it's the Princess again. Please tell your dumb guard it's not nice to dig around other people's armor sets. Thanks. Oh, and who are these? More angsty little ponies to torment my soul? Perfect. Just fucking perfect." The skeleton practically groaned.
"Well, Mr. 'Emperor', this is Princess Twilight Sparkle, the princess of friendship. She will be asking you some questions." Celestia replied, gritting her teeth.
"Oh? A new little watchman? Good. I was getting tired of this one real fast. Especially when he went through my things without asking. So, Sparklebutt, what questions you got for me?" The Emperor asked.
"Well, I was just going to ask where you came from, what was your home like, why are you a decayed corpse, the usual." I replied, my teeth also grinding.
"Well, first questions a long answer. Gather round kiddies, papa Emperor is going to tell you a story." The skeleton joked.
÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷
Flashback to ten million years before
I had just gotten to the Comicon, dressed up as the Emperor. Timeskip to when it was important.
I had been walking around, looking at the wares, when this creepy looking vendor guy walks up to me, and leads me back to his little shop. He says, "Care to look at my wares?" And after a few moments of looking, I find this really epic sword replica of The Emperor's blade. So, I buy it, I fall through an agonizing tunnel, see the Multiverse in all it's glory, wake up feeling nothing but unbearable pain in this throne. And then I wait for a few thousand years until Celly over there finds me. The end.
"Well, that was.... interesting, to say the least. Thank you. Now, as for the other questions?" I ask.
"Nope. You get one story per day. I won't answer your questions until tomorrow. However, you're going to stay here and tell me about all I've missed over the years." The Emperor replied. I groaned. Oh well, at least I get to talk about history....
Then Pinkie Pie burst into his face.
"Hi I'm Pinkie Pie and it's soooooo good to meet you Mr . Emperor! I need to think about the 'Welcome to Equestria' party as soon as possible! So, I need to ask you questions about all of your hobbies, likes, dislikes, etc.!" She rambled.
"Woah. Woah. Calm your head Pinks. I know I'm the Emperor and all, but how the hell did you manage to burst up in front of my face like that?" The Emperor asked.
(Sigh, this is going to be difficult)
"Well then maybe you shouldn't make this part, asshole. And make sure to get my personality right, or I'm shoving a Warpstorm up your ass." The Emperor said to no one in particular.
(Aaaaannnd fuck he can hear me.)
"You're damn right I can hear you. Now stop commenting on my actions and get to work." The Emperor replied, again to no one in particular.
"Hold on a second!" Pinkie exclaimed, suddenly right next to me as she held a hoof up. "You can hear the voices too? So I'm not crazy! Isn't that great Jesus?"
"Well shit. I've met another being with the capabilities of fucking with the fourth wall. I am happy. If only I had my Centurion with me....." The Emperor said. I facehoofed.
"Can we please get back on track?!" I asked. Pinkie nodded. "This is gonna be my whole day isn't it." I muttered under my breath. And I began the tale of Equestria's history.....
The ride never end.
Oh, this is great. Waiting for more.
6511596 yeah.... he could do that....
Or ram it into the moon if Luna makes him mad
ah the waiting game
6511626 yep.
And it gets even worse when someone puts a tantalizing piece of information about the next chapter
....I'm an evil sonofabitch
10/10
6511718
Ok, so note to self: I am good at writing stories with characters who are total douchbags to everyone else. Good to know
6511569 Psychic powers, can freeze time for a short time, take your pick of the various badass things things he can do....
Hey wait, why didn't he astral project and explore the world, he couldn't of chosen that costume if he didn't know the emperor well enough. The emperor can still do a ton of things while interred on the golden throne
6511879 When he first arrived, the world was a desolate wasteland. Kinda like when the planet was born. Eventually, at year 1000 Before Ponies, he stopped looking and waited.
6511886 Fair enough but he'd still be psychically sensitive to notice the spark of intelligence forming miles above him eventually....
6511898 He also stopped focusing on the material realm and started playing poker amd other things with Tzeentch and co.
6511903 That's another thing, a being of order co-mingling with beings of chaos, would that count as harmony or chaos to the woven, tattered* fabric of the immaterium?
*Yes I said woven tattered, the immaterium can be wibbly-wobbly for all I know
6511920 that's what he did in the actual series, or so he said.
Y'know... I have a feeling that if this story gets crossovers then it'll be hilarious watching this guy screwing with other Displaced.
6512173 ,
I sent a few versions of his soul out to the multiverse. PM me if you want to do a Emperor soul shard meets one of your guys.
i got the other referance
6512318 Congratulations! You get a cookie
Ahh, so Pinkie can hear the voices too hn?
F ing A. Loved the Centurion reference. Things would be going a lot better if he were hear.
Amazing reference to a dubbed series, bravo good sir! 10/10
7002475 the cat is the best part of that series
7002475
That is particularly awesome because not only is the Emperor literally Jesus, but the cosplayer-turned Emperor apparently remembers that and Pinkie somehow knows. Oh, and the author remembered, that too. But that is much less impressive.
rofl i'm only two chapters in and i'm already laughing my ass of