Twilight's POV
"Princess Celestia, we came as fast as we could!" Me and my friends burst into the throne room. Celestia turned and greeted us eagerly.
"Welcome, Twilight and friends. I have brought you here today because earlier in the morning, our guards discovered a extra room in the basement. Inside was a glorious room, and at the center sat the decayed corpse of a alien life form." Celestia explained. Applejack tilted her head.
"What? So ya brought us all th' way up 'ere, just so we could see some dead alien?" She asked. Celestia sighed.
"If only it were so. The thing is, this 'decayed' body is still alive. And it can speak to us through some sort of speech device. Follow me. It is easier to see than to explain." She then led us down a bunch of stairs to what I presumed was 'the basement'. To the left there was a glowing hole, and two voices could be heard. We glanced inside, to see a glorious room made out of pure gold. (I ain't explaining it again)
At the middle was a pony guard wearing a pointy golden helmet.
"You will remove the headgear at once, you pathetic pony." A deep voice rumbled.
"Or what? You're a corpse sitting on a throne! You ain't gonna do shi-" The guard was interrupted as a force of energy blew into his side, causing him to go flying into the wall, the helmet clattering to the ground.
"Don't even make that reference. And also, I'm the Motherfucking Emperor. When I want something done, it better damn well be done. Oh look, it's the Princess again. Please tell your dumb guard it's not nice to dig around other people's armor sets. Thanks. Oh, and who are these? More angsty little ponies to torment my soul? Perfect. Just fucking perfect." The skeleton practically groaned.
"Well, Mr. 'Emperor', this is Princess Twilight Sparkle, the princess of friendship. She will be asking you some questions." Celestia replied, gritting her teeth.
"Oh? A new little watchman? Good. I was getting tired of this one real fast. Especially when he went through my things without asking. So, Sparklebutt, what questions you got for me?" The Emperor asked.
"Well, I was just going to ask where you came from, what was your home like, why are you a decayed corpse, the usual." I replied, my teeth also grinding.
"Well, first questions a long answer. Gather round kiddies, papa Emperor is going to tell you a story." The skeleton joked.
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Flashback to ten million years before
I had just gotten to the Comicon, dressed up as the Emperor. Timeskip to when it was important.
I had been walking around, looking at the wares, when this creepy looking vendor guy walks up to me, and leads me back to his little shop. He says, "Care to look at my wares?" And after a few moments of looking, I find this really epic sword replica of The Emperor's blade. So, I buy it, I fall through an agonizing tunnel, see the Multiverse in all it's glory, wake up feeling nothing but unbearable pain in this throne. And then I wait for a few thousand years until Celly over there finds me. The end.
"Well, that was.... interesting, to say the least. Thank you. Now, as for the other questions?" I ask.
"Nope. You get one story per day. I won't answer your questions until tomorrow. However, you're going to stay here and tell me about all I've missed over the years." The Emperor replied. I groaned. Oh well, at least I get to talk about history....
Then Pinkie Pie burst into his face.
"Hi I'm Pinkie Pie and it's soooooo good to meet you Mr . Emperor! I need to think about the 'Welcome to Equestria' party as soon as possible! So, I need to ask you questions about all of your hobbies, likes, dislikes, etc.!" She rambled.
"Woah. Woah. Calm your head Pinks. I know I'm the Emperor and all, but how the hell did you manage to burst up in front of my face like that?" The Emperor asked.
(Sigh, this is going to be difficult)
"Well then maybe you shouldn't make this part, asshole. And make sure to get my personality right, or I'm shoving a Warpstorm up your ass." The Emperor said to no one in particular.
(Aaaaannnd fuck he can hear me.)
"You're damn right I can hear you. Now stop commenting on my actions and get to work." The Emperor replied, again to no one in particular.
"Hold on a second!" Pinkie exclaimed, suddenly right next to me as she held a hoof up. "You can hear the voices too? So I'm not crazy! Isn't that great Jesus?"
"Well shit. I've met another being with the capabilities of fucking with the fourth wall. I am happy. If only I had my Centurion with me....." The Emperor said. I facehoofed.
"Can we please get back on track?!" I asked. Pinkie nodded. "This is gonna be my whole day isn't it." I muttered under my breath. And I began the tale of Equestria's history.....