Twilight's POV
"So, Emperor, I'm back from my newspaper thing! And also, here." I dump a pile of paper on the floor.
"What's this?" He asked.
"Oh, just a few questions everypony had for you. Here, let me read some to you.
"This first one is from.....Spartan889. He asks, What will you do if the Ultramarines find you? Wait, what's an Ultramarine" I asked in confusion.
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Meanwhile.......
"Honorable Battle-Brother! Did you hear the news?" One of the blue warriors asked. "We have found The Emperor once again, and are being sent to retrieve him! Surely, this will continue to prove the honor of the Ultramarines!"
"Indeed, honorable battle brother! After all.... the greatest of them all.... ARE THE ULTRAMARINES!" The other one replied.
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Back with the Emperor
"I just had a sudden sense of dread. Fucking Smurfs. If I even sense them ten sectors from here, I'm sending a Warp storm their way. See how long they fucking last." The Emperor groaned.
"Um, that doesn't explain much...." I told him.
"They are a bunch of overzealous pricks who think that they are better than everyone else. Just like their prick father, my asshole son Roboute. I always hated him. I wonder if he's still alive.." He replied, muttering under his breath. Even though that's physically impossible.
"Ok, next question! SephReunion123 asks, Dear Emperor, How comfy is your chair?
"How the hell did he know I'm in a chair? What ponies did you get these from?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders.
"Sigh. Anyways, It used to be comfy, but then I decayed into a skeleton. Throughout that time, every muscle I had cramped, and the Phantom pain still remains. Plus, it's a solid gold chair. Kinda a pain in the tailbone. Next." The Emperor replied.
"Let's see.... From Hard Cider. So will this guy need hundreds of psyker sacrifices to sustain his powers or is he good? Wait, first of all what's a psyker? And second, why would you need hundreds of sacrifices?" I ask.
"Psykers are assholes with powers over the warp. My throne used to need it to keep me alive, but now it apparently feeds off of the planet's core. Next." The Emperor replied
"Shadowsinthedark asks Will the planet explode if you leave your throne? Wait what." I deadpanned.
"I don't think it will explode. However, I bet a massive geyser of magma will shoot up, turning this mountain into a volcano. Next."
... How many warp storms will it take for you to F**k up the ponies?
P.S Will Papa Smurf* and the Custodes be joining this universe? (How will it happen? F**k it if I know but i'll accept anything!)
"For the first one, just one. One third of their population is a bunch of Asshole Psykers, so they are fucked. As for the second, if Roboute is in this universe, I will find him and remove his soul. I miss my Custodes. Except the other ones. Those things were an eyesore. Oh well. At least it can't get any worse."
"Hey, look what I found!" I turned to see the pony guard in a massive suit of armor.
"Dammit universe. You just had to let him find the babycarrier. Sigh. Next."
"Actually, that's all for now. I need to process this new information..." I walked off.
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Emperor's POV
"I should have destroyed that baby carrier the moment I saw it. Oh well. I wonder what game Tzeentch has planned for Game Night?" I muttered.