Meanwhile, in the Room of the Grand Equestrian Council....
"So, I think we should ban all trains for transport except for royalty..." an old stallion with a very raspy voice started.
"Who am I again?" An equally old mare asked.
"Now hold on a second....my troops need those trains for weapons and food" a third elder, a Stallion Earth Pony, argued, staring at the first one.
"Perhaps if you were all unicorns you could just teleport to wherever you wanted to be." An elder Unicorn Stallion remarked.
"Eahhh shut it Starswirl." The mare groaned.
"If you were a Unicorn, Mareiton, you could magically make me shut up." The other, Starswirl, replied. Before she could reply, the doors burst open.
"Okay, what the hell was up with the newspaper yesterday?" A much younger, though still adult, unicorn stallion in a semi pointy hat, which his horn jutted out of, asked, stalking up to the group of old geezers.
"Pippers, hush! We are having a very important discussion on banning the trains!" The first Elder replied, staring at the stallion, now identified as Pippers.
"That's the fiftieth time you've had that argument this year alone!" Pippers roared.
"Ah, shut it pointy hat." The Elder remarked.
"It's not pointy! That's just my horn!" He groaned. "Anyway, I want to know who the hell sent that message on the newspaper? This is obviously a very terrible prank, and whoever did it is probably going to get killed by those Inquisition morons."
"...We have a newspaper?" All four elders asked. Pippers facehoofed.
"Well, if you don't know who did it, then who does?" Pippers asked.
"Oh wait I remember." Pippers's face lit up with hope. "I AM THE LAW!" Then his face fell once again.
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The Emperor's POV
"By the way, where are the rest of the guard? I've only seen that disappointment over there." I asked, looking at the guard. He stopped what he was doing, which was messing with a possible nuclear explosive, and looked up in fear.
"Oh, you don't want to meet them right now. Most are recovering from Changeling Invasion a few months back." The Guard said quickly.
"....Bring some of them here." I ordered, a small spark of fear at what I was about to see burning it's way throughout my bones. He sighed, before walking out of the room.
"If they are what I think they are, your dead to me Kirito." I said to the Author.
Oi, shut up and get back to the story! Or else!
"Or else what? I can story hop you know." I shot back, and sensed his fear.
No, no you wouldn't dare!
"I would and you know it. Get back to writing!" I yelled, and sensed him get back to work like the monkey he is.
This entire conversation was in my mind.
"Well, here they are..... The Guard, who if I remember correctly was named Arrow something, muttered. Four of the most hideous ponies in the multiverse knocked him out of the way, gazing up on me. They were so disturbing I couldn't go into detail without a Slaanesh++ rating on this story.
"I fucking hate you Kirito." I said out loud.
"Well well, if it isn't the Glorious Emperor we all have heard about. And I must say, the amount of energy coming from those bones makes my oiled body quiver in excitement." One of the abominations said.
"Might as well play the part." I thought to myself. "What in the name of Holy Terra on a highway is this?!"
"We are the Four of the Seven captains of the Royal Guard, and I must say, it is a honor to meet you, Emperor." One of them said in a disturbing and to females, arousing voice. I noticed he was moving his body in a very suggesting way.
"Ok, I've seen enough. Goodbye chucklefuckers." With a thought, I mentally grabbed them and threw them out the door. I made sure to close said door, and firmly lock it. All 27 locks.
"Thank the universe that's over with. I doubt I could have survived any more exposure to such a horrendous sight." I said.
"Yes, indeed. However, now I and Princess Twilight are now trapped in here with you, and with no food or water to survive on." Arrow said, slightly irritated. In response, I magic'd a root beer float into existence in front of him. He stared at it, then smiled.
"I could get used to this." He said, and dug in.
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Celestia's POV
After the news leak of the Emperor's existence, millions of questions had begun piling in. I had spent the last twenty four hours with Luna sorting through them. It got boring after question 276.
"Your highness, the Emperor has locked the door to his room, with Princess Twilight and Arrow inside it." Somepony said. I looked up to see the bane of my existence, the captains of the guard, staring down at me.
"Then get her out." I muttered, and went back to shuffling through the questions.
"We tried. The room exists on a different plane of magic, and is unreachable by means of teleportation." They replied, and I groaned.
"Fine, I'll see to it." I told them before getting up.