Displaced - Common problems · 8:43pm Aug 26th, 2015
Issues that plague many (but not all!) Displaced stories.
Will edit over time
Major issues
aka. The elements of bad storytelling
1. Tokens... aka The deus ex machina. If the character is shown having the slightest bit of trouble... they can use a token to call in another god-like displaced to instantly save the day. This completely gets rid of any tension or worry for the main character as he/she can summon epic level help at any time.
Solution: Don't have tokens.
2. No God MC Rule: Main character is a major/minor/godlike deity that is more powerful than Celestia/Luna/Tirek/Twilight... etc. At this point, the character is at least halfway to being a Mary Sue. (If the character is also good at making everyone their friend and social situations... then they are a Mary Sue)
Solution: Don't have your character be stronger than an alicorn oc.... preferably weaker.
2.A Variation on the no God MC rule. Character instantly overcomes the weaknesses of the character they become. There is a reason why the original character's had weaknesses.... so that they wouldn't be overpowered (aka boring).
Solution: Don't do it! Superman without kryptonite is boring.
3. Character assumes the persona of whom they were dressed as ..... was there any point? The author has their character physically, emotionally and mentally become the character they were dressed up as. There was literately no point in them being someone else. It should of been a straight crossover.
Solutions: Either change your story to a straight crossover or have your character have a personality. Heck you can have your crossover meet the merchant to get to Equestria... have him/her be buying a new sword or something and then be sent to Equestria as himself/herself.
4. X (usually 1000) years in stone for no reason. Having them be stoned by Celestia/Luna for walking on two legs or looking ugly is bad writing.
Solution 1: If you want them to interact with Twilight, etc.... just have them appear in modern times.
Solution 2: Have your displaced actually be evil enough to deserve being imprisoned forever in stone... a serial murderer or rapist. None of that... oh he/she stole a sweat-roll... time for you to be imprisoned for all eternity in stone(which actually sounds like a fate worse than death and would drive the person insane or catatonic.)
Solution 3: The accident (Have the character be stoned by a cockatrice, hugging Discord when he is turned to stone, etc).... Make sure that when you do this... that there was a point of the character being in the past in the first place. If there was no story/plot/character development in the past... Don't do it! Just use Solution 1!
5. Character takes the name of who they are dressed as.
Why this is bad: "Oh no! The merchant has taken me away from my world, friends and family! Not only that but I no longer even have my own face/sex/species any more! Not a single possession from my old life other than my name..... I know, I'll change my name and never mention my old one again!" Having your character get rid of their name, for no reason, is bad storytelling.
Solution 1: Have them keep their old name.
Solution 2: Give the reader a reason for the change. Like the girl's name was Ethel or Bertha and hatted their old name. Or, as in the Dresdon displaced... he is doing it to hide his true name from other magic users. Give us a reason for their name change!
Other issues
* Instantly know all the character's skills - Nothing really wrong with this... other than 98% of the displaced stories do it. Wish there were more where they had to learn how to <insert special abilities here>.
* Going into lengthy detail about meeting the merchant. Seriously, you don't have to describe your character meeting the merchant at all. Your readers will thank you if you just reference it as "I was tricked by a merchant, who transformed and sent me here. So that's why I'm stuck here with the face and abilities of ______________."
Hmmmm....
#1- Already made a token but I did think of this which is why I try not to have Rin find those tokens and make the bad guys in my story the way I made them back when I was a DM. You can't just bash them all, some you need to find a weakness or out think them. You can't solve everything by hitting it till it stops moving.
#2- Rin dose have higher magical reserves than any of the alicorns do to a long time to do magic building exersizes and the magic eating she has been doing but that is important down the line. I'm not telling why you can just wait and see! But is physically inferior in every way.
#3- Not an issue, Rin will continue to have her weaknesses. (Harmony magic, Love magic, Magic nullification affects, anything that can K.O. her making it imposable to use defensive spells or healing spells, the puppy pout and pizza.) And do to the nature of opposites being natural enemies in this world it maters not if she isn't the intended target if the Elements, the tree or anything ells that uses that magic is used in the same area she is in the attack will actively seek her out.
#4- Not an issue with my character.
#5- See #3. The Elements are stronger than the sisters so they couldn't break the petrification themselves and they couldn't use the Elements to reverse it because again, see #3.
Minor issues
#1- Not an issue with my character.
#2- Guilty but at least I explained in the first chapter that the information was force fed into my character.
#3- And... guilty.
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3456236
1. As long as the token never becomes... summon instant help, instantly... I'm ok. It's just so many stories abuse the hell out of them and use them as a get out of jail free card.
2. Sounds like you did some balancing. Glass cannons are a tried and true tradition.
3. Ditto.
5. I never thought that this would apply to your story.... You gave an actual valid reason for the MC to be stoned. If I remember right it was because of her dark magic nature and that she held down Discord while they used the elements on them both. ... (I probably should list what you did as a solution)
EDIT:
Edited the blog post to include a reference to your solution for why the MC was stoned for 1000 years.
3456294 YAY! I contributed!
Wow... You know, this should definitely get more views. And honestly, I wouldn't mind listening (/reading) about you ranting about bad writing. You should definitely do more blogs.
Edited main post to improve to "5. Character takes the name of who they are dressed as. " moved it from other issues right into the Elements of Bad Storytelling.
3783338 There is but one thing I disagree with: a ridiculously substantial blanket delay in any token use. Might I suggest a different, albeit similar, solution? Perhaps a delay and cool down rate, scaled by the power level of the Displaced being summoned? Usually, this is supposed to be, in story, an emergency-use item, to call upon someone to help find a solution the character themselves couldn't find with their current resources. This is a use I can support, and making anyone wait days, when their might be a pre-established time retriction, is ridiculous. During this summon, there could be some cosmetic effects, to show that something important is happening, to add spice to the fic, usually relative to that Displaced's character.
I agree on just about every other thing you've said, but your definition of a Mary Sue... This is a character that is, by definition, not challenged, even slightly, in their narrative. Mary Sues are often utilized in purely wish-fulfillment pieces, that I cannot always agree with. There are ways of challenging an overpowered socialite, but it takes some clever thinking and writing, but gets old very swiftly, as there simply won't be enough variety. This is why overpowered characters aren't used very often, and most of their challenges come from either social situations, or personal shortcomings.
3783338 P.S.: Sorry for the text walls...
I think I know which story you are talking about, and in that story, the "loud music" was her bass cannon that destroyed the original cloudsdale (on accident due to the speakers falling over) and nearly killed all the fillies that didn't know how to fly, as well as left a bunch of ponies homeless.
4054569
Then the author should of mentioned it early on then. Instead of having the main character go "golli wee I'm stone for only playing my music. It's so unfair that they stoned me." It should of been "I used a fucking bass cannon and destroyed an entire city nearly killing hundreds of foals. I can't blame them for stoning me." I didn't keep reading after the first couple of chapters and didn't know that the author eventually gave a valid reason later.
I agree with pretty much everything you've mentioned.
Perhaps you could also add to not spam crossovers with other displaced fics? I won't mention any names yet, but I did read a story where practically every chapter, the displaced would be summoned into a different displaced's dimension. So in the end, all the MC ended up doing was...
...get summoned nonstop, chapter after chapter, declaring practically every displaced he met as his 'family' despite having met them for less than a few hours (#InstantFriendshipIsBad), saying they can come to his own dimension anytime to live in his huge underground cave base thing...
Hmm, I was going to keep ranting about the bad things in that fic, but I digress.
Just wanted to point out that since 95% of that fic is about stuff that doesn't relate to the MC, the end result is that there's simply no character development for the protagonist we're supposed to be rooting for, nor is there any plot development for the story whatsoever due to everything happening in other dimensions that, truthfully, we don't quite care about. Dimensions that the MC would probably never visit again to begin with.
4082186
Yeah. That is another reason tokens are a horrible idea.
Not sure if I should add that as a seperate issue or not. Not focusing on a protagonist is more of a general problem that can occur in any story.