[Joke Chapter] Perchance To Dream [Joke Chapter]
I wake up with a gasp, sitting up in bed and breathing heavily. I take a look around the room, feeling the tension flow out of me. I’m home, in my cluttered dorm room, props littering the place. “Oh, thank god...” I fall back onto the bed, laughing a little. “That's the last time I smoke peyote after midnight...”
I’ve heard of those kinds of dreams before, with huge amounts of time passing. Thankfully, that's all it was, just a dream. I wasn’t dead. I wasn’t stuck in Equestria. And best of all, I wasn’t hijacking anyone’s body.
I get out of bed, pull my clothes on, and head out into the shared dining room. I grab myself a bowl and pour myself some cereal. I’m so fucking glad I’m not stuck with hooves. I sit down to eat, only to realize, I didn’t grab a spoon. As I move to get up, I hear Roger leave his room, his door situated behind me.
“Oh, hey bro, can you grab me a spoon?” I ask, not bothering to glance back at him. Silence fills the air, going on for a few minutes before I speak again. “Roger? You alright man?” Again, I get no response.
I slowly turn my head, my heart pounding a mile a minute in my chest. I peer around, letting out a sigh of relief as I chuckle to myself. “Such an asshole, Floyd.” I turn back to my bowl.
“Hello Floyd,” Pinkamina coos at me from her position in my lap, a demonic grin on her face. “I’m so glad you’re up.” Her voice gets deeper with each word, her one visible eye staring into my soul. “Wanna make some...” She reaches up to her covered eye, pulling a knife out with a horrible squelching sound. “Cupcakes...~?”
“AAAAAHHHH!” I scream as I fall out of bed, my heart practically exploding in my chest. I land in a heap, buried in my blankets.
“What!? Shale?! Are you alright!?” Blueblood asks as he scrambles out of bed and to my side. It only takes him a minute to free me from my encasement, a look of worry etched on his face.
“Yeah, I’m fine Bluey... just a nightmare...” I smile at him, brushing some hair out of my face. I take a few breaths as I calm down, the adrenaline slowly fading from my trembling body.
“That must have been one hay of a nightmare. What was it about?” he asks, sitting next to me, placing the blankets back on the bed.
“Okay, get this,” I grin, recalling just how ridiculous this thing was, “So, in this dream, I was stillborn but got reborn as some random human named Floyd. Then I died again, got snatched up by Discord and then put into Pinkie.”
“That does sound ridiculous, though I have to say being stuck in your sister's body must have been hellish.” I glare at him, then sock him in the arm. “Owie!” he whines, rubbing it like a foal.
“If you’re done, I still have to tell you the rest of the story.”
“Alright, alright, what is it?” he asked, frowning a little.
“Well, I found out I was a reincarnation but then I woke up like it was all a dream. Then uh... that really scary version of Pinkie that I dressed up as for Nightmare Night showed up-”
“Pinkamena?”
“That’s her. Then I woke up.”
“I told you not to finish that Sweet Apple Acres cider, it was way past it’s expiration date!” He scowls, thought I don’t really care at the moment. I get up, trotting over to my writing desk and sliding into my seat. “And what are you doing now?”
“I have an idea.” I gather up my supplies, slipping my glasses on, and pick up my pencil.
“It’s three in the morning!” he protests, but quickly gives up, knowing he’s not going to get through. “Writers...” he mumbles under his breath, presumably getting back into bed.
“Love you too!” I call over my shoulder before diving headlong into my work.
‘Humans have always been a fascinating species. Growing up on a world out to kill them, humanity has long since mastered, or so they believe, their world, having fought their way to the top of the food chain. Our story is not about humanity as a whole, for that tale is much too long for anypony, save an alicorn. Instead, we shall be focusing on a singular human... A particularly interesting young man named Floyd Hendrix...’
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My brain is literally clocking like 14MhZ after reading this. It ruined my brain for the rest of the day.
Uh...
Just going to put this here.
Can't even tell if this is supposed to be an April Fool's chapter or not...
Nice April Fools chapter. I can see the secret message hidden in the words
7083471 Your the first one who got it! Yay!
"april fool"
I see what you did there.
I was about to ask what the hell was up with the bold letters (missed the first 'a') but then I read the comments.
7083486 Holy crap! I had no idea one of my favorite authors read one of my stories!!!!
Was going to post secret words but other people beat me to it so now i'm sad
Grate chapter can't wait for more
Ah yes, National Stay Off the Internet day. We meet again.
7083687 Can you find the hidden fact about Shale?
7083690 The glasses, or the bit about her being a writer?
7083695 :) The force is strong with this one.
Silly-silly bold letters. Though it was kind of obvious what would happen.
YOU SILLY BENCH.
Nearly got me for a moment there.
This Chapter was really funny. Enjoyed the hidden message though it was a bit ovious once I got to the end. Still an enjoyable read
7083499 this chapter worried me until i figured out that!
I thought it would turn into a big MindF**k X3
Damn you shagohad!!! *Raises fist menacingly into the air*
For a moment I thought that this was a recursive dream a la what happened in Bloom And Gloom.
Then I looked at the date. Funny, I could've sworn it was tomorrow...
booooooo Apirl Fools Booooo
Sigh
oh god, I just realized what today is. sigh, looks like a bunch of joke chapter updates today
*ahem*
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the fourth joke update I've seen today...
And I think things will get worse before getting better...
7084322 Blame Emtu, it was his idea.
Did no one notice the bold letters seem to spell something?
A-p-r-i-l-f-o-o-l
Kinda funny once you write all the letters.
I receive most chapters a day late, so I went in with NO suspicion this was an april fools joke.
That'll teach me for shedding my paranoia.
7084648
It was indeed my fault. It might have been better if we had started on something earlier than like 11PM last night.
7084674
There's an S there too. (It's in "whines".)
Why did i only just recieve this update?
Say it with me Floyd, that's the name!
AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I thought this was some "Full circle" Kinda bull but nope!
You mash it up and drink it, actually, like a smoothie. Tastes completely revolting, too. Personally, I think shamans get the job just for being able to keep the stuff down without barfing.
April Fools to you too.
7119208 I take it you liked the chapter?
7119398
The length worked against it a bit, I think. It might not have hurt to give them a bit of more screentime to discuss the dreams, or maybe to have a few snippets of dream that aren't just about interactions with Pinkie. I don't think Shale's parents have shown up yet. On the whole, I think it worked very well, but I did think Pinkie's dream characterization was a bit weird, as per that "maturity" thing. She seems... weirdly sedate and grown-up, more so than the modern version even. Depending on how you spin it, that could be considered something she "grew out of," ironically, when freed from her previous stifling environment, so I'm ambivalent about that.
7145911 yes I know that much, but asexual is, even if I can accept it without a problem, really not my favourite version of all that I know of in a story.
I don't need anything sexual in this story, but it is already enough if I know that it wouldn't be possible, just because, nothing more and nothig less.
I was a normal human film student i thought nothing could change and than it happend KARMA. Suddenly the life i had was turned upside down I knew there was only one way to change that. So i made a list of all the things i have to do to get back to normal and im righting it one step at a time. Im just trying to be a better pony My Name Is Floyd.
All hail Princess Shale Hendrix the Queen of 7084279
7188499 It's really hard not to post spoilers.
My perception of everything has become le shattered
7188499
I think the best way to explain is by using bioshock infinite. You've played, no? Even if you haven't this quote sums it up beautifully.
8012415 Alright. thanks.
8013371 I'm glad, I've never been confident in my fight scenes
8023882 Jesus thats dark
8053527 Yes, that particular individjul forgot the cheese again. Also, she's a little bruised up after I hi- I mean, she fell down some stairs
Hey, I'm from The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group! and I have somewhat good news! Your fic has been reviewed and can be viewed here!
8140031 I was wondering if that was just me. I'll see to getting it fixed
8147073 Oh yeah, after the lackluster response of the original start to this little arc, I wasn't going to let it stay that way. I'm genuinely glad you liked the fight scene, I was worried it wouldn't come off well.
8201511
When first appear Discord casually flip Pinkie entire personality. You think that he become weaker since then? I doubt it.
IMO people tend to forget just how powerful Discord is.
Good story you have going here. Hope it continues.
~Rhinlord
will there be a next chapter?