Human in Equestria16,970 stories ·16,815 members
Rule 631,248 stories ·3,994 members
Looking for Editors3,384 stories ·5,414 members
Followers of Discord 2,748 stories ·3,184 members
Transformations5,225 stories ·5,792 members
I Just Want a Comment15,697 stories ·3,671 members
The Diamond Cutters1,361 stories ·1,208 members
Screwball: Chaos is Magic117 stories ·384 members
I was once a human. Now I'm a really strange pony. I think I'm a pony anyway. Ponies don't have weird eyes like mines though.
I don't know why this is happening. I miss my friends and family.
Above all, I think I miss my sanity. Will this nightmare ever end? Will I be set free?
Maybe it'll get better.
Suddenly struck by a car, tragedy ensues as 'Screwball' tries to find out what happened to him, and why was all of this is happening.
Rated "T" for language!
Page generated in 0.033 seconds
Total duration
703 users online
600,035 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I look forwards to more.
moar please
7110728
7110846
Moar will be written.
Uh... then he'd be a millionaire in a year.
I like this, continue on dear sir!
Spoopy demon door with screaming. Hope to god that was a one off that wont haunt the story
Good story tho
If you find yourself having to literally explain to the readers what you are doing, then you're doing it wrong. You should go back and rewrite that part, to instead describe how she feels having woken up, and describe how her reaction to seeing the pony leads to her attempting to escape through the surprisingly roomy air vents. You don't say that she's feeling fear and panic until the very end of the chapter, giving absolutely no context for all that stuff she's doing. Frankly... you should describe her recovery in a little bit more detail, maybe not even from her perspective, because what we see is that she woke up as a completely alien being, critically injured, on life support, and within 2 minutes was doing James Bond level stunts, without even batting an eye. That's... really hard to identify with. Then later, as an afterthought you mention all the stuff that I wanted to learn beforehand, about the vegetable, and the custody battle, and that sort of thing.
Is every patient there an amputee?
Awesome story, more please
I would prefer another chapter of Suddenly Young Again, but I will admit my curiosity has been piqued.
I'm like reading Sherlock Holmes! Can't wait for more!
7110975 you're my hero...
Almost gave an horror movie vibe for a moment there...
40.media.tumblr.com/6b072c97bbb74a3dd91b68566181abf2/tumblr_mws3fcM8Ne1r6l5jbo1_1280.jpg
Also, this story gained 9 likes while I was still reading.
This is great. I can't wait for more.
I am so excited for the next chapter of this!
Hi everyone! Thanks for commenting on my story! And hey! We got front page! Awesome!
7111913 What you'd suggest me doing, would require a different writing perspective as well as some spoilers. They're put in as after thoughts, simply because their relevance isn't really known yet and leaving you guessing. You can't have all the answers. James bond level stunts? Not really. All she did was slide on her belly across the floor. She climbed into a vent that could fit her, and kicked it open with her Earth Pony strength. Hence why she fell on her butt, and not her hooves. As for the fear part, that's another spoiler. Such is the bad part of the mystery.
Seeing as this is one of the only mystery fics of mines I like, I'll be doing more on it!
... Holy shit...
DAMN! THIS IS GOOD!!!
Some places in this are a bit rough, but you've a fairly good tale shaping up.
For example:
I think you mean "irresponsible".
When it comes down to it, why not find an editor? This site's lousy with'em.
~Skeeter The Lurker
7113689 Thanks for letting me know about that! Annnd, if anyone wants to step up I'll be glad to have them edit the story.
Very interesting. Do not lost hope yet. You have a long journey buddy.
Out of curiosity, how high priority is this on the whole scheme of things in terms of updates, because at a glance it seems like you have quite a few other incomplete fics.
this is one of the few screwball centered stories that i foresee myself enjoying. i give you my full support on this story and will attempt to dedicate time to this story if needed. it could use a tune up after all... anyhow, i beg of you, do not stop writing. your story is great! i cannot wait to see where this goes. also, I feel like the story name should be changed to "A Tightened Screw" symbolizing that screwball WAS a bit off before, but due to the crash and the new soul, a whole new wave of conscious thought and ingenuity is coming from the foal, allowing the new filly to be more logical, "Tightening" her strange ways from before and being able to prove to the ponies of equestria that Chaos isn't a terrible thing but is and can be dangerous if used incorrectly or with the wrong intentions :Edit
besides, "Loosened Screw" sounds demeaning.
7113733
I'd offer, but I'm no editor.
~Skeeter The Lurker
That was a pretty nice read. Twilight? Custody battle? More please!
Meh. I like Screwball but something just feels off. It so far just feels dark and the hospital scene/walking dead-esque escape just feels off too. It felt forced with the hospital section that no one can remember hot to get to and with the monster... Also a 384 thousand salary per year (32k x 12months...) and he is worried about bills? What? I do wonder if she has some sort of chaos powers though.
7114521 I don't know what to tell you on the whole "forced" hospital/walking dead thing. I make sure to pace my stories, but there's obviously more of a story to it. Also, if you do your research on how much houses cost, you'll find 32k won't be as much as you think it is. Apartment wise, you're set. Otherwise? Not so much. And of course no one would remember how to get to it with the exception of some of the older staff, Ponyville is over one hundred or so years old. The 'accident' occurred at some point when the hospital was still new. 'Someone' discontinued that floor, and bolted the door. Five different times, just to get to the point that this area is off limits. Once again, you'd have to keep reading for that one.
You seem to have a different taste in story, but that dear reader is in your opinion! But that's fine, because everyone has their own likes and dislikes!
7113770 After reviewing your comment I think I might make some adjustments to the story thanks to your very valid points. Thanks a lot!
7113757 A fun fact that most people don't know is, there are more chapters written for all of my stories. The question is, when will I release them?
Wow this is really good, much, much! Much!! Much!!! MUCH!!!!!! better than I personally though it would be. 10/10 so far man keep up the good work. I just hope it doesn't go do grim dark, I just got done playing Manhunt I need a little sunshine in my life. By the way....
WAIT!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!!! WHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7114542
32k per month is huge and any who has difficulty with bills on that is either doing something wrong or made some extreme mistakes in their past that gave them debt far beyond the value of their assets.
That much money would put them in the top 0.5% of Americans.
That's almost as much as Obama's salary and is more than the salary of most other elected national leaders. It's nothing compared to top actors, sports stars or corporate executives, but is more than five times the median earnings of men in "Management, Business, and Financial Operations Occupations" according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
If your salary could afford a large house (or family sized apartment) outright in any of the most expensive cities in the world within two or three years, then you are doing very well for yourself. Although I suppose with a salary like that, we might have different views on what a "large house" is.
If you want to sound rich without sounding elite and upper class, go for 100k per year. That's still well above average, but in some neighbourhoods it would still be low enough that worrying about bills would be realistic.
So 3 parents, 4 if you include Discord, Screwball's memory leaking into him, maybe her personality too?
This is going to be very painfully confusing. And irritating. And thus awesome. I can tell.
That was...interesting. I will admit that the beginning of the chapter really caught me off guard but...it's definitely interesting.
I'm definitely following this one .
media.riffsy.com/images/5e24d28771043b2da96df0446c3e280e/raw
I really wish The chapters were longer.
7115031 i concur
I want to know why Discord is locked up in stone again... Or is that not the case when you say that he's "under lock"?
7115142 Spoilers!
So did the author write this in one day or was this already worked on, because the grammar and formatting are perfect for such a short time. Very enjoyable story so far.
Forests are known for having trees, so trees aren't a reason to avoid a forest.
FACES, on the other hand...
I'm liking this so far, but it could use a proofreader.
7115433 Thanks! And yeah, proofreading definitely needed!
7115210 Took me five hours! Thanks for the compliment though, even if I could use some serious work!
7115480 great chapter! And you work on this for five hours? Damn, you were deep in the writer's zone.
You left it in somewhat a cliffhanger, I was hoping for multiple different gasps and incoherent mumbling a from worried mares.
dude...Dude. It has been awhile since I read something that I have genuinely been anxious to read more of.
please don't stop
also, YAY! A Screwball story!
I'm a fan of Screwball if you couldn't tell.
So, I guess we can now refer to this fic as a screwball comedy?
I like the idea and look forward to seeing conflicting memories, random Chaos magicks and the voice of Discord slowly drive this poor mare down the spiral of insanity
No sadist, but boy is the psychology of it interesting
Really good use a proofreader though. Anyway, I await a little bit more
MORE!
Wait. Wasn't it said in chapter 1 that every bone in her body was broken? If so, how is she moving about right now? Isn't that kind of damage not able to be healed? Or is magic the answer?
I mean, her recovery wasn't shown, so it's kind of confusing on how she's immediately able to walk around and crawl through vents.
It's been long since I've gotten so interested in a story... Thanks! Can't wait for more
Delicious, I can taste the
If Screwball ends up releasing Discord, I will be happy. I'll also be happy if this continues and Mr. Author takes his own (probably better) route. I just want more.
Is this just going to be another story that permits Discord broad use of his powers despite his being petrified based on some illogical loophole that he can still touch things in other dimension... which rather defies the very purpose of a SEAL in the first place?
I've seen and ripped to shreds far too many of those already.
And if he's free and 'reformed'... why? What reason would anypony have in this DARK world for letting loose a homicidal sadist?
That makes even less sense than Celestia deciding to let him free in canon for totally undefined reasons of "Oh, maybe he'll come in handy some day if he doesn't instantly mind-fuq us all! But I'm sure you can handle it! Gonna go stuff myself with cake nows! Lol!"
Also...
Awkward narrative choices are awkward... It is not necessary to spell out to the reader what AJ's smile implies. Reasonably average readers will glean the meaning from the former points established already.
This is like explaining 3 times in a row that a dog's wagging tail when given a biscuit means it's happy, because the tail is wagging causes people to realize that the dog is experiencing positive emotions. Because the dog will eat the biscuit and be satisfied.
See how that just sounds strange?
MICE! MICE! MICE!
7116362 Isn't he already released?
Not too much a fan of the darker themes and scenes, seeing as this universe is mostly my version of escaping troubles... But this story got mot hooked. Got me hooked good! It was actually a long time since I honestly considered doing a reading for a fic, but now I am fully taking into thought. Probably not though since my 'woman' voice is so darn bad, and most of this is spoken by females. c: Nice story!