• Published 29th Mar 2015
  • 7,800 Views, 739 Comments

My Name Is Floyd Damn You! - shagohad12



A young man named Floyd is trapped inside of Pinkie Pie, and goes on a quest to find himself.

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Floyd In: Journey

“So Kelly slips on the fake blood and just goes sailing across the floor. She hits the windowsill and just flies out of the window, head over heels and lands head first in a dumpster!” I burst into a giggle fit, falling out of my seat, “S-she smelled like mac and cheese for a week! Jack gave her the nickname ‘Cheesy Bread!’”

“That sounds really mean...” Pinkie gets out between giggles.

“Humans have weird names,” Maud comments, though I see the tiny hint of a smile on her face.

“Yeah well...” I pause to catch my breath. “I could say the same about ponies.” I sit up, brushing myself off. “Hell Maud, you’re the first pony with a human name I’ve run across. I mean there’s Gilda, but she’s a griffon.”

Maud nods, blinking a few times. “Does ‘Floyd’ mean anything?”

“Floyd is a variant of Lloyd, and comes from old Welsh and means uh... I think ‘gray’.”

Pinkie gasps. “If you had been put in Maud it would have been perfect!”

Yeah but then I’d be Gray Floyd, which would be redundant.

Pinkie pouts, not happy her joke was shot down. She perks up as the train starts to slow. “Yay! We’re home!” She bounces up and down. “I bet Gummy really missed us!”

Have we decided if we’re taking him with us or not? I get off my seat, pulling on my saddlebags as the train stops.

“Are you ready?” Maud asks, already at the door, looking back at me. I give her a smile, trotting over to her.

“Yup! Come on Maud!” I step out onto the platform and take in the sights. I know I’ve been here before but after a week on the rock farm, anywhere seems like a new experience. Would it kill them to spice that place up?

“The only way to farm rocks are in fields like that.” Pinkie joins us, standing on my opposite side, “Any plants nearby just messes up the whole thing.”

Huh... okay... I didn’t know that.

“So, I think we should go to Sugarcube Corner first and get settled in, maybe get some lunch.” I glance down, listening to my stomach growl.

“Okay,” Maud says simply, walking quietly beside me. I notice she’s glancing around, glaring at anypony that decides to stare at my flank.

“Hey! There’s Dashie!” Pinkie pipes up, pointing to the rainbow pegasus, who was busy busting some clouds. I smirk, a terrible, horrible, evil idea forming in my head.

“Hey Maud.”

“Hm?”

“Wanna help me scare the hell outta Dash?”

“Okay.”

“Sweet.” I look around quickly before pulling Maud into an alley. I take my saddlebags off, emptying one of them. “Okay, I’m gonna hide in here. You get Dash’s attention and ask her to help you carry the saddlebags. Say I ran off over something.” I don’t wait for her answer, diving into the saddlebag, trying not to laugh in the meantime. I get ready, pulling Eustace’s green mask out of my mane, you know, the one he’d always use to scare the shit out of Courage? Anyway, I pull the mask on, ready to pounce. Just let me know when Pinkie.

“Okie Dokie Loki!”

A few minutes pass and I hear Maud and Dash talking. I hold my breath, my body tensing up.

“Now!”

On cue I burst out of the saddlebag, my mask covering my whole body. “OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!” I scream, waving my arms around in a vaguely threatening way. The look of terror on Dash’s face is legendary. She shrieks the girliest shriek possible, taking off like a bat out of hell. I fall to the ground, laughing my ass off, holding my sides. “Oh man! That was perfect! Did you see her face Maud?!”

“I didn’t think you could do what Pinkie does,” Maud states, blinking down at me.

“Oh that? Yeah, I’ve been able to do that stuff since I got here.” I place the mask back to wherever the hell I got it from, then pack the saddlebag again. I heft it on, making sure it’s secure. “Alright, now that Dash has been given her dose of nightmare fuel, let’s eat!” I trot out of the alley, Maud following behind me.

“Nightmare fuel?” Pinkie asks, tilting her head to the side.

“Oh it’s a phrase that usually means that something may give you nightmares, hence nightmare fuel,” I explain, blinking as a few ponies wave to us.

“Hi Pinkie!” Roseluck waves, trotting past us.

“Uh... hi.” I awkwardly wave back, watching her for a moment. And now it starts, we really need to get a name tag...

“Morning Pinkie!” Thunderlane shouts as he flies by, making my eye twitch. Just ignore it Floyd and keep walking, nothing you can really do about it...

“Hi Pinkie!” Derpy smiles as he she flutters by.

“That's it! I’m done!” I shout, throwing my arms in the air. Pinkie! How do we get to Sugarcube Corner, quickly!? I refuse to put up with this!

“There’s a shortcut through those bushes!” Pinkie points out, gesturing to a nearby bush. Thank fucking god.

“I’ll see you in a bit Maud!” I salute before diving into the bushes. After some... I-I have no way to put it into words, we emerge from under her bed. “Okay Pinkie, we need to talk.”

“About what?” she asks, jumping onto her bed, somehow not phasing through it.

“We need a way for people to know I’m not you.” I slip off my saddle bags, letting them drop to the floor. “I’m thinking a haircut.”

“You mean manecut,” she corrected before tapping her chin, “But... if you do that... what if we lose our powers?! Than we’d be just another crazy pony! And no one could read our story because we won’t be aware of them anymore!!”

“Pinkie, we’re not Samson, we’re not gonna lose our powers because we got a haircut, that's the stupidest thing ever. Now where do you keep the scissors?” I move over to her dresser, rummaging around inside of it.

“I still dunno about this Floyd...”

“We’ll be fine Pinkie, besides, it’s hair, not like it won’t grow back...” I keep digging. “Aha!” I Iift the item up above my head, the Zelda item theme playing.

“Oooh! You’re getting the hang of it already!” Pinkie cheers, getting a big grin on her face.

“The hell are you talking about?” I ask, trotting over to the mirror.

“You’ll figure it out!”

“Whatever you say, Pinkie...” I gaze into the mirror, turning my head this way and that. I admit, I’m no hair stylist but... I think I can give myself a decent haircut... I hope...


“So Floyd just jumped into a bush and vanished?” Twilight asked, tilting her head to the side. After running into Maud while shopping, Twilight had sent Spike off to get the others, with the goal of meeting up at Sugarcube Corner.

“I’m not surprised she can do that,” Maud replied, blinking slowly, “She reminds me a lot of Pinkie when she was younger.”

“Oh?” Twilight asked, her interest piqued, “How so?”

“You may have noticed, but my sister isn’t always the most stable pony,” Maud paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts, “She used to be a lot worse before she got her cutie mark.” Maud looked around before returning her gaze to Twilight. “She had a lot of... breakdowns.”

“Floyd’s been having them too... I suspect she told you about what happened with Starlight Glimmer?” Twilight asked, to which Maud nodded.

“Floyd isn’t in a good place right now.” Maud looked down, gazing at her hooves before speaking again. “I just want to make sure they stay safe.”

“I can sympathize with that.” Twilight nodded. “I’d do anything to keep my family safe.”

“We’re here.” Maud moved up into the tasty looking building, effectively ending the conversation. Twilight just blinked before following her inside. The others were already gathered around a table, with AJ ribbing Dash over something.

“I was not screaming!” Dash insisted slamming a hoof on the table. “I was just... shouting.”

“Nuh uh sugarcube, ya’ll were screaming yer head off.” AJ snickered. “Like a filly!”

“You take that back!” Dash growled, leaning over the table and getting in AJ’s face.

“Ya’ll lookin’ fer a smackdown?” AJ challenged, pressing her forehead against Dash’s and glaring right back at her.

“Kiss already!” Pinkie’s voice shouted from across the room.

“Bwah!?” The two shouted at the same time as they scrambled away from each other, blushing furiously. Floyd giggled, drawing everyone's attention. She stood at the bottom of the stairs, wearing a bright smile, though her mane had been cut short, now only coming to the back of her head.

“Floyd!? What did you do to your mane?!” Rarity gasped, looking at the new arrival, aghast at her new look.

“I cut it,” Floyd said simply, trotting over and taking a seat next to Maud. “I got a little tired of people just assuming I’m Pinkie, so I gave myself a haircut!” She frowned, rolling her eyes. “No Pinkie, I’m not going to call it a manecut. I don’t care! I refuse to change my vernacular for anyone!”

“Floyd.” Twilight cut in, snapping Floyd out of her argument.

“Right sorry!” She looked from Twilight to Fluttershy to Dash. “Hey uh... can I uh... get a feather from each of you?”

They all blinked, sharing a look.

“Uh... why?” Dash asked, raising her eyebrow. It wasn’t everyday you had one of your friends ask for a feather.

“I want to put them in my hair, duh.” Floyd rolled her eyes. “What else would I do with them? Make a chicken suit? Pinkie already has a chicken suit. Though...” She paused, tapping her chin. “I could totally make a headdress out of them...if I knew how to make one of those.”

“Uh, hello? Floyd?” Dash waved her arm in front of her face, getting the pink mare’s attention once more.

“Ugh, I really wish I’d stop doing that...” Floyd grumbled, crossing her arms with an annoyed pout.

“Well, I don’t mind giving you a feather.” Twilight shrugged, pulling a loose feather from her wing. Dash did the same, both holding their feathers out to Floyd.

“Thanks!” She took them, placing them in her mane, right along her right ear. “Fluttershy?” she asked, turning to the meek pegasus.

“Oh well... I, um...” Fluttershy muttered out, shrinking in on herself, her mane falling in front of her face.

“Hey,” Floyd looked at her, giving her a soothing smile, “If you don’t want to give me one, that's fine, you don’t have to.”

“Oh no, it’s not that I don’t want to it’s that... it might hurt...” Fluttershy mumbled out, looking at the floor.

“It’s alright, Fluttershy.”

“No, no... I can do this...” Fluttershy spread one of her wings, gingerly gripping a loose one in her mouth. She tugged, letting out a little squeak as the feather pulled free. She dropped it on the table, hugging her wing close.

“Wow... thanks Fluttershy...” Floyd muttered, placing it with the others in her mane. “Anyway, there is one thing you girls gotta know and I know you aren’t going to like it.”

“What is it Floyd? You know you can tell us anything,” Twilight assured her with a smile. The others gave confirmation, all giving her a smile.

“Well... the thing is... we’re not staying in Ponyville...” Floyd admitted, looking down at her hooves.

“Y-you’re leaving?” Twilight asked, her eyes going wide. “Why would you do that?! You have friends here, a home!”

“Twilight, I-I can’t do this,” Floyd started, hanging her head low, “I can’t stay here, knowing I’m stealing Pinkie’s life, her home, her friends, I-I can’t...” She started to tear up before hugging Maud tightly. The older mare didn’t bat an eye, gently wrapping a hoof around the shaken mare, stroking her back.

“It was my idea,” Maud explained, “Floyd has massive guilt over her situation, and staying here would just drive the point home. It’d be unhealthy, so I suggested we travel Equestria.”

“Wouldn’t it be best if she stay here?” Rarity asked, frowning, “I mean, we are her friends after all.”

“You’re also Pinkie’s friends, being around you would just make Floyd feel worse,” Maud countered, still soothing Floyd. “It’s only until the Princesses can figure out how to make Floyd a new body.” She looked down as Floyd pulled away. “Better?”

“Y-yeah Maud, thanks...” Floyd nodded, wiping at her eyes. “Anyway...” she cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure. “I wanted to talk to you, Rarity. Pinkie told me she had a ticket to the Gala and she still wants to go, so...”

“Ooh! You want me to finish the dress!?” Rarity smiled brightly, the idea of working on such an exquisite dress pushing the previous drama out of her mind.

“Eh, you can make Maud a dress but I want a tux.”

Rarity’s expression quickly fell. “A... tux?”

“Yeah you know, a tuxedo.” Floyd nodded. “I think I’d look good in one. Maybe something like Mad Moxxi.”

Rarity sighed, sagging a little. “Well, if that's want you want Floyd. I’ll need you to come down to the boutique with me so we can get everything squared away. You should come along as well Maud, you’ll also be needing a dress for the Gala.”

“Thank you, Rarity.” Floyd got up, stretching her limbs out. “Seeya girls later, OK?” she asked before she and Maud followed Rarity out of the building.

“I can’t believe they’re leaving,” Dash pouted, looking at the remaining girls. “I mean... no Pinkie around’s gonna be...”

“Quiet?” Applejack suggested, looking just as depressed at the news.

“Yeah...” Dash nodded, letting out a long sigh.

“It’ll be okay, Dashie,” Fluttershy soothed, forgetting her own sadness for a moment to comfort her friend. “It’ll be good for the both of them to get out of Ponyville for a while.”

“I just... wish we could say goodbye ya know? Like, actually talk to her again...” Dash sagged, her pout deepening. A similar look spread to the others, their thoughts turning to images of life without Pinkie.

“Well, you know... there might be a way...” Twilight tapped her chin a little.

“What? Give us ghost vision or something? Because that sounds awesome!!” Dash grinned, the idea of being able to see ghosts snapping her out of her funk.

“What?” Twilight asked, processing Dash’s outburst, “No, Dash,” she responded, rolling her eyes and shaking her head as Dash let out a whine of disappointment. “Can you girls meet me back at the castle? I need Spike to send a letter...”


“Well, that took forever...” I grumble as we walk out of Rarity’s home, my limbs numb. I had been forced to stand still for hours as Rarity moved back and forth between Maud and I, taking measurements and doing whatever the hell else she does when she comes up with ideas.

“It wasn’t so bad!” Pinkie bounces along next to me, a big grin plastered on her face. “She remembered the tea you like!”

That was a pleasant surprise to say the least, and she did feed us... I had no idea flowers could be that tasty...

“Welcome to the vegetarian life, Floyd!” Pinkie grins bigger before giggling. “I’m just kidding! Some ponies eat lean meat, and pegasi are known to eat fish. I tried it but, the thought of eating an adorable little fishy made me cry...”

Not to mention most animals humans eat are intelligent on this world... Can we please talk about something else? You’re making me hungry.

“Okie Dokie Lokie!” She hums a little, her bounces carefully timed to match my walking speed, which is just crazy but you know, what isn’t nowadays.

I glance over at Maud, who doesn’t look at all put out by being turned into a mannequin for the last few hours. “Hey uh Maud, how’d you make it through that? You barely said anything, wasn’t just standing there ya know... uncomfortable?”

She looks at me, blinking slowly. “I pretended to be a rock.”

“You... pretended to be a rock?” I ask, tilting my head, a look of disbelief on my face. “Why?”

“Rocks don’t complain.”

“Well... I, uh... can’t argue with that logic, I guess...”

“Hey! Floyd! Maud!” Spike shouts, interrupting our conversation. We turn to see the little guy rushing over, huffing and puffing.

“Sup, Puff?” I ask, giving him a smile.

“No, my... name... is Spike.” He stopped in front of us, trying to catch his breath.

I sigh, sliding a hoof down my face. “I know your name isn’t Puff I was... you know what, never mind.” I compose myself, looking down at him. “Anyway, what did you need, my scaly friend?” Spike had shown up earlier in the day while Rarity was working on us, to whisper something in her ear.

“Twilight wanted me to ask you to come to the castle, she wants to ask you something,” Spike explains, finally having caught his breath.

“Did she say what?” I ask, tilting my head. Lots of head tilting man, is that like, instinct or something? I feel like a dog.

“Silly filly,” Pinkie says, giggling at me, “Ponies express a lot through body language! Like with our ears, tail and head movement!”

You know, you are surprisingly insightful Pinkie.

“Aw, thanks! It might look like I’m all fun and games and I don’t pay attention a lot but it’s my job to be able to read ponies!”

You’ll have to teach me some of that...

“Floyd?” Spike’s voice cuts in. “Equestria to Floyd!”

I blink, looking down, seeing the little dragon waving his hand in front of my face to get my attention.

“You okay there Floyd?” he asks, looking up at me, a slightly worried look on his face.

“Oh yeah, I’m good Spike, just having a talk with Pinkie. I tend to uh... stop paying attention to the world around me...” I let out a little chuckle, a sheepish smile plastered on my face

“...right...” Spike says, a little skeptically. “Anyway, she didn’t tell me what she wanted to talk to you about.”

“Well, alright then. We can head over now, unless Maud wants to go somewhere else first?” Maud just shakes her head. “Alright then, lead on, MacPuff!” I declare, pointing with my hoof.

“My name isn’t Puff!” Spike growls rather indignantly.

“Geez man relax, I’m just joshing ya.” I hold my hooves up, hoping to placate him.

“Yeah well, I don’t need to be, uh, ‘Joshed’.”

“Oh for the love of...” I groan, facehoofing. “Please, just lead the way...” He turns and starts to walk, grumbling a little, obviously rather upset at my ribbing. Yeah well, uh... screw you too!

“Still pretty sweary, but you’re doing better!” Pinkie smiles, obviously liking my downgrade in swears.

That's because you're a bad influence.

“What!? I’m not bad!? You think I’m bad!?”

I whip a pillow out of my mane, press it into my face, and scream into it. This place is seriously going to be the death of me. Once I release my pent up emotions, I toss the pillow to the side. “OK, I feel better... much, much better.” We continue the walk in silence, getting a lot of stares from the combination of the short hair and the blank flank. Maud glares at them and the onlookers quickly look away, whistling nonchalantly.

“Here we are!” Spike proudly proclaims as we reach the castle. “So what do you think, Maud?” He smirks, leaning against the wall. “Pretty sweet huh?”

“I’m not into crystals.” Maud looks the castle up and down.

“Personally, I think it looks tacky,” I admit, standing next to Maud. “I mean, it would be better somewhere like the Crystal Empire but it clashes terribly here in Ponyville. Heck, it would have been much better if the old library had GROWN into the castle.”

“You two don’t know what you're talking about!” Pinkie butts in. “I love it! It looks like a giant piece of rock candy!”

Don’t even try to convince me to take a bite out of it Pinkie.

“Yeah well, I think it looks great!” Spike mutters, pushing the main doors open and walking inside. Maud and I follow him in, noting just how dark it is.

Pinkie you don’t think...

“SURPRISE!”

“That our friends threw us a surprise party?! Hay yeah!!”

I let out a scream, jumping and latching onto the tree root chandelier...huh, ‘Castle, Sweet Castle’ must have happened while we were gone. Good, I really don’t see how I would have been a positive influence on that episode.

“Ya’ll okay up there Floyd?” Applejack calls up to me, she and the others looking up with concern.

“Yeah, I’m cool,” I call down. “Give me a sec!” I let go of the chandelier and fall like a rock, only to land on my hooves somehow. I put on my best Jack Burton impression. “It’s all in the reflexes.”

“Right...” Dash comments, looking at me with an arched eyebrow.

“Anyway Floyd,” Twilight cuts in, bringing the conversation back on track, “We wanted to give you, Pinkie and Maud a big send off, I hope you don’t mind the party.” Twilight quickly puts on a sheepish smile, shared with the others. I look around, noting the good number of townsfolk and a big banner that says: “Farewell Floyd/Pinkie, Come Home Soon!”

“Gee girls, you didn’t have to do all this...” I comment, feeling sadness start to seep through me. “I mean I don’t really deser-” I get cut off as Dash shoves her hoof in my mouth.

“We get it Floyd, you're all messed up about the body stealing thing,” she says, like that's supposed to help.

“What Dash is trying to say, darling,” Rarity picks up, giving Dash a soft glare, “Is that, we know you're still feeling guilty, but tonight we just want you to have fun, okay?”

I look from each of them, noting the soft smiles they all wore, including Pinkie, who had moved to stand with her friends. I mumble out an answer before remembering that Dash’s hoof is still in my mouth. I quickly shove her away, spitting a few times.

“Disgusting...” I grumble, making a face. “ But yeah... I’ll try for you girls, OK?”

“That's all we ask, Floyd.” Twilight smiles as she and the girls quickly pull me into a hug. I smile right back, the widest, most sincere smile I’ve worn yet, hugging them all back. I haven’t even known them for a week and they're already my best friends.

“That's just ponies for ya!” Pinkie adds, her head halfway phased through Twilight’s as she tries to join in on the hug.

“So,” I ask, pulling away from them, still wearing that smile, “What should we do first?”

“Well,” Twilight starts, pulling out a book entitled How to Host a Party For Dummies, “I’m glad you asked!” We all let out a collective groan, awaiting for her to schedule everything.


“And then, when the poor old mare reached into her cabinet... she realized... she was out of tea!” Fluttershy... shouted? I guess that counts as a shout for Fluttershy. After the party, which was really fun by the way, I got yet another surprise: The girls had set up a sleepover in Twilight’s room. It had been Dash’s suggestion that we tell stories and Fluttershy was trying her hand at a... scary story... yeah that's a thing.

“That's a, um... nice story Fluttershy...” Rarity speaks, doing her best not to offend her friend.

“Very... chilling,” Twilight adds giving a forced smile.

“Oh my, I know,” Fluttershy nods, “Being a bad host is one of my worst nightmares...”

“That's so lame, Fluttershy.” Dash, not one to mince words, rolls her eyes. “Doesn’t anypony have any good stories?”

“What about Floyd?” Applejack suggests, turning the rooms attention to me. “Ya’ll are inta’ movies and what not. Got any that’d be a good story?”

I tap my chin. “Well... the types of movies I’m into would totally mess up your fragile pony minds so... why don’t I tell you a different story.” I smile, an idea already forming in my head. “A story about the future, the future as envisioned by my culture sixty years ago. A story of the nature of humanity, the heights of our greatness, to the pits of our depravity.” I close my eyes. “And it all starts with a simple phrase. War.” I open my eyes dramatically. “War never changes.”

And so begins my great career as a bard. I spin them the tale of the Vault Dweller... and answer questions every five minutes... But! They hang off every word, and by no means do I sugar coat it. I mean, I always play the good guy, so this particular tale has all the best outcomes, but I don’t hold back on any of Fallout’s dark stuff.

“And in the end,” I say, drawing the story to a close, “Despite everything the Vault Dweller did for Vault 13 and the Wasteland, the Overseer refused to allow him back in, fearing that his presence would make other vault dwellers want to leave. So, cast out of the only home he had ever known, the Vault Dweller turned his back to Vault 13 and wandered back into the wastes, but that... is a story for another day.”

“What!?” Dash shouts bolting into the air, “You're telling me after all that, he can’t even go home!? What a load of horseapples!”

“I thought it was a fine, if rather dark, tale, Floyd,” Rarity smiles, “Did you come up with it yourself?”

“Nah,” I wave my hoof dismissively, “A bunch of really talented people did, and to address your concerns Dash, that was just Fallout 1, there are still five other Fallout tales to tell.”

“Aw, sweet!” she fist pumps. “Can we hear the next one?”

“Nope...” I yawn, rubbing at my eyes. “I’m freaking tired. You’ll just have to wait until we get back to hear more.”

“But that could be months!” she whines, pouting furiously, “I can’t wait that long.”

“Yeah, you can.” I get into my sleeping bag, letting out another yawn. “Besides, the usual wait between Fallouts is four years...” I snuggle up, closing my eyes. “Good night everyone...” They each call out their own good nights and Twilight blows out the candles. I smile as I drift off to sleep.


“So, what do you want to do tonight Pinkie?” I ask as we find ourselves in my tree house again.

“No, no, no, you got that line wrong.” Pinkie glares at me, putting her hooves on her hips.

“Huh?” Is the best thing I can utter, staring at her.

“Pinkie is supposed to ask Brain that, duh.” She rolls her eyes, making a rather irritated face. I just narrow my eyes before grabbing her, starting to tickle her belly. “N-no!” She giggles, flailing around, unable to get away.

“Try to out-reference me, huh? Do you even lift, bro?” I smirk down at her, not relenting until she starts screaming uncle. We sit there, panting a little, with me petting her mane.

“Hey Floyd?”

“Yeah Pinkie?”

“Maybe tonight you can tell me more about your family?” She gazes up at me with her big blue eyes full of hope.

“Alright, alright, stop with the eyes.” I smile, scratching her ears. She smiles, getting comfy on my lap. “Well, you know my name is Floyd Hendrix. I was born in 1995 to Daniel and Naomi Hendrix. I’m about one half Navajo and, uh, whatever the hell my dad is. I imagine some stuff from Europe or whatever. Anyway, my parents ran a rather big law firm, so I didn’t get to see a lot of them growing up. I spent a lot of time with my mom’s mom, Grandma Sunny. She taught me all the old ways and my people's culture.”

“Old ways?” Pinkie asks, looking up at me.

“Yeah, it’s a whole thing... that really doesn’t make humans look all that great...” I mumble before clearing my throat. “All you really need to know is that, she taught me a lot of old traditions and stuff.”

“She sounds like Nana Pinkie!”

“If you say so.” I shrug. “She was the one who bought me my first camera. I still have... had it. It was this old piece of crap VHS camera but I loved that thing. I made a lot of crappy movies on that thing...”

“I bet you miss home a lot, huh?” she asks, shifting a little so she could hug me. I hug her back, rubbing her back.

“Yeah Pinkie I do...” We just sit there quietly, with me petting her head.

“Man Floyd, you're always so depressing.” I blink, looking behind me. We’re suddenly in my dorm room, with the girls all standing around us and Princess Luna standing back in the corner.

“Girls!” Pinkie leaped off my lap, rushing over to the girls, pulling them all into a hug. “How did you get here!?”

“Well, I know Luna has to visit your dreams to keep you two safe,” Twilight starts, nuzzling Pinkie, “So I asked if there was any way for us to share a dream. You're leaving and... we wanted to say goodbye... and maybe see what Floyd really looks like.”

“I must say, humans aren’t exactly like I pictured.” Rarity mutters, looking me over.

“I dread to imagine what you thought I’d look like.” I roll my eyes, looking at Maud as she meanders over. “Uh, hey Maud...” I wave, watching as she sits next to me.

“You’re a lot taller than I thought,” she comments, looking up at me. “It must be hard becoming a pony.”

“I’m... getting better...” I mutter, only for Maud to hug me.

“Just remember, I’m here whenever you need a rock.”

I crack a smile, hugging her back. “Thanks Maud... you’re the best...” We sit there, exchanging stories of our childhoods, while Pinkie and her friends chat the dream away. Luna smiles softly, letting herself fade out of the dream.


“Phew... I’m glad we’re finally on the train, pony goodbyes suck.” I trot onto the train, stretching my back out. We had decided against Gummy coming with us, placing him in Fluttershy’s expert care. The Cakes were sad to see us go but swore to Pinkie her job would still be there when we came back.

“As they say Floyd, a rolling stone gathers no moss.” Maud trots past me, placing her bags in storage.

“Yeah, yeah, start throwing the rock puns at me.” I place my own bags away, taking a seat across from her, Pinkie sitting next to me.

“Hey Floyd! Maud! Wait up!” I hear Applejack’s voice call out. We all turn to see AJ, Big Mac and the Cutie Mark Crusaders all rushing towards the train.

“Uh hi AJ, I didn’t know you guys were coming with us.” I wave, giving them a tilted glance.

“Me neither, but Braeburn just sent me a letter.” AJ trots over, taking a seat next to me. “He got himself hurt and ah have ta take his place at the rodeo.”

Oh yeah, episodes. I really need to remember that those are happening.

“Well, you're welcome to join us, girls!” I smile, patting the seat next to us. She smiles, taking the seat while the CMC say goodbye to Big Mac. Welp, wish me luck, hope I don’t screw up the timeline or something.

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