Dear Twilight Sparkle:
Saddle Arabians, despite their elegant look, are somewhat lacking in terms of brain cells. Not unlike earth ponies and unicorns, really. So all it takes is some magic woodland creature juggling to keep them distracted while we figure out how to appropriately screw over their people. Some ponies worry that this could lead to militant factions of Saddle Arabians, who will violently attack us in the name of justice or something like that. But let’s be honest: what are the odds of that happening?
Also, this “Trixie” pony reminds me of a pony I used to know named Sunset Shimmer. Nothing important, really, just something that brought up old memories.
But anyway, I must admit I'm impressed by how she managed to beat you. If she hadn't been so pathetic the last time you wrote about her, I would have been quite optimistic about my chances to obtain a new student. But then, those evil red eyes and magic aura would probably have been a dead giveaway that she was on steroids.
Of course, your duel must have been quite epic. Not as incredible as my battle with Chrysalis, of course, but pretty decent, at least. Too bad she didn't simply use that age spell on you. I'll bet she could have raised you to become a much better mare than you are now.
What worries me the most, however, is how much you have been relying on the lesser races recently. I mean, taking lessons from the zebra? Relying on the coward pegasus who thinks she can talk to animals for information? How low have you sunk, Twilight?
Also, I don't understand why Trixie would want to turn Ponyville into an independent country. I mean, it would be just one city lying within the Democratic Pony's Republic of Equestria, and I'm sure they'd easily be crushed by the Eternal President King Hasbro.
Fortunately we don't have to utterly humiliate her anymore since you did it for us. And then you gave the Saddle Arabians a rather pathetic show of your skills (Or lack of, thereof). Good thing Trixie was repentant enough to spice things up a bit. She might not be as good at magic as you, but she certainly has good taste.
Your completely Democratic and benevolent ruler, Princess Celestia.
P.S.:If you had used some of your references to pop culture to allure that showpony, you'd be having a "private" show right now. I guess you're not too smart, huh?
...I now want to see a fic where Trixie uses the age spell on Twilight, turning her into a foal, which results in Celestia showing up to break the amulet. However, Twilight has imprinted on Trixie as 'Mama', and won't accept anyone else, therefor Celestia says Trixie's punishment for her crimes is to raise Twilight as her own until the age spell wears off (accelerated aging effect), and that Twi's friends will be keeping tabs on her.
Thus Trixie becomes Twilight's mother, and Twilight's adoration softens her and makes her fond of the foal, making her protective of Twi, and that bond to her lets her stand in as the Element of Magic...
...and then Trixie accidentally activates the Cutie Mark switching spell, and manages to put it back with filly Twilight's help, but when the spell's completed they both become alicorns...but Twilight's still a filly and calling Trixie 'Mama'.
...who else would want to read that?
What's that Celestia? Completely democratic? I hope you're okay with impeachment.
4031621
You had me until the Magical Mystery Musical redo.
4031621 you had me at age spell on twilight
4031621 Well, hopefully someone will do it.
4031621
Me!
4031621 It sounds interesting.
Too bad Twilight did not think of having her way with Fluttershy. She could have invited Zecora and they could have had a sexy three way.
i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq260/spacewings/EmoteTwilightWet_zps61ffef2a.png i453.photobucket.com/albums/qq260/spacewings/EmoteFluttershyWet_zpsea1c8bcc.png fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/343/1/d/z_by_blknblupanther-d6xef1w.gif
Weird how there is not a sexy Zecora emoticon. Oh, well.
KBO.
Man, I am way behind with this spin-off. Now that S5 has started and Miles is back up and writing Letters again, I'm going to have to get my butt in gear...
One week later:
"Alright, guys, here's the plan..."
"Leeroy... JENKINS!"
"Yes, exactly that. As much as I hate proving her right about a subset of our population... they make good bombers."
*click* *Kaboom*
_____
Twilight.
The individuals responsible for the loss of the entire western wall of the castle must be stopped. Now.
Your incredibly pissed princess, Princess Celestia.