Guarding a library at night is one thing,
but waking up a princess that's over ten times your size...

Author's (strange) inspiration: I'm kinda hittin' a brick wall with my other stories, so here's one that came to me during a late at night browsing of pictures.

Outpost 13...often considered the most unlucky posting to be given when you’re a Royal Guard. It holds no real tactical value, and was built long ago before the Unification Period of the Three Pony Tribes. It’s now more of a historical site, being the last-standing remnant of a bygone era. It’s useless, it’s remote, and it’s boring.

And it’s the perfect dumping ground for when you want to get rid of three of the Royal Guard’s worst soldiers ever.

Private Samwise Tater (the Thinker), Corporal Plucky Guess (the Cynic), and Private Prism Rain (the Sleeper) --- the three of them have been at Outpost 13 for one year now, all on their own. Once you’ve been there that long, you begin to develop a routine: wake up at 0600, eat, then stave off boredom for the next 18 hours before it’s time to go to bed. Usually by talking or planning ways to take over the world, or if nothing else, how to raid Princess Celestia’s cake stash without getting caught.

Today’s their one year anniversary, and they’re at their breaking point.

(Heavily inspired by Rooster Teeth’s Red Vs. Blue web-series.)

Featured: 2021/08/18 - 2021/08/23
*200 Likes! Thanks everyone!*

SPECIAL THANKS: Cover art by Hunternif (Sketch 41: “Early Morning”)

MLP/Undertale crossover.
Not a PWNY-verse story.

Long ago, the Monsters and Humans fought a great war. The Monsters lost, and were sealed in the Underground. It would take the power of seven human souls to break the barrier that kept them imprisoned. They only had six. And so the Monsters waited and hoped, praying that another human would find their way to the Underground. Some thought the seventh soul would give their King the strength to break the barrier. Some dreamed of a human who would be their friend, and save them all...or had nightmares of one who would bring back the war.

...but nobody came.

...but somepony did.

Eons after the war, with no way to tell how much time had passed above, a tiny blue filly with wings and horn fell into the underground, calling for her Mama. None knew the poor creature's nature or origins...but her soul was powerful with magic, even more so than a human soul.

None can know what will come...of this little 'Woona'.

Cover art by Sanyo21

It is recommended you read this story in one of the Dark formats in order to better distinguish the colored text of the 'other voices'.

Hey folks! Name's Deadpool!
I thought that was all of us?
It is. He's just introducing us as a single entity.
Will you two idiots be quiet? I'm trying to talk to the readers! Anyway, I know you've all been waiting with bated breath for this story ever since it was announced, and here it is! And it's going to have everything you'd expect of such a story!
Explosions!
Adorable father-daughter bonding moments.
Total babes!
Awkward hilarity.
Not to mention me, Deadpool, the merc with-
Daddy, who are you talking to?
Oh hey Chryssi! Just telling the readers about-
Are you breaking the fourth wall again? I thought you were going to teach me how to do that today.
That's what I'm doing! Say hi to the readers, Chryssi!
You will all love me and despair as I feed upon your adoration to become an unstoppable god!
That's my girl! Hey, wanna read the story with me?
I brought popcorn and chimichangas.
*sniffle* You're the best thing to ever happen to me, Chryssi!

Hey look! We've got cover art now!
Aww, you were so cute at that age!
And I'm not cute now?
Now you're sexy!
We should thank Sanyo21 for the image.
Then I guess I'll throw up a link! Nnnghha! http://www.fimfiction.net/user/sanyo21
...did you really have to literally throw it?
Yup!
Oh, and for those who don't know yet, this story is part of the PWNY-verse. It's not all about us - even if it should be - but you'll probably enjoy it to-Oh, stop making me a shill already!

Oh, by the way, it's recommended you read this story in Dark or Ultra Dark. Some of the colored text doesn't show up clearly otherwise. Not necessary, but just a suggestion.

A refined mare fresh out of high school and a dropout following her dreams find themselves forced to spend a lot of time together.

With the help of a meddling psychology tutor and their new classmates, can they find what they've been looking for?

French Translation!

Fan Stuff!

Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic, Hero of Equestria and first casualty in the Changeling war. When she passed she became the rallying cry for the Equestrians in the short lived war. When Chrysalis attempts a surprise attack on Canterlot a mysterious figure in armor appears and slays Chrysalis in front of the princesses. Now it's time they learn that anyone can change.

For better or worse.

Big thanks to Nightcloak for the huge help in editing this train wreck of a story.

This Story was featured on 7/28/2018
Thank you to everyone who has read this. I never thought this would happen and am honored beyond words.

After an accident involving some cattle dying, Winona decides that the only honorable thing to do is to commit ritual suicide. Applejack, Twilight, and Fluttershy try their best to stop her, but this dog is on a mission, and nothing is going to stop her. Well, nothing except spontaneous enlightenment and subsequent immortality.

Written after a really terrible joke about dog seppuku was made on the Seattle's Angels podcast.

Applejack is known for a lot of things: being honest, being strong, loving her family... apples. But the thing she's most known for is having a really incredible set of eyebrows. It's for this reason that Celestia has seen fit to bestow upon Applejack that highest of honors. She's going to make her a princess... of eyebrows.

It takes less than 24 hours before Ponyville is literally on fire.

You can thank the last Seattle's Angels Podcast this time.

Twilight Sparkle is the last creature alive, floating endlessly through a frosty void. She is not alone.

Inspired by .until the last pony is ferried. by Short Skirts and Explosions. Pre-readers: RIspy5655 and Unoriginal. Image: Lispet. Dramatic reading by Henny Penny Benny. Featured on Episode 18 of the Stranger than (fan)Fiction podcast.

Radio. The first national broadcast across Equestria is about to happen. But even as radio towers are raised across the nation, Princess Twilight calls upon three musicians to make it truly historic.

If radio is to be more than a passing fad, how can it prove its worth? And if faraway music is to be heard in ponies' homes across the land, what song shall be the first to grace the airwaves?