> Him > by Zytharros > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > ~ I ~ > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Who knew? Who knew that I would be flying alone in infinite darkness at the end of time? Was it Celestia? Was it Luna? Or was the old religion true – that Zacherle, the Goddess of All Creation, planned this out? It was hard to think. It was hard to process these thoughts when I was the only one left. I couldn’t make out where I was going. I couldn’t make out where I’ve been. All I had was memory. From the day I was born, I dedicated myself to the study and control of magic. It was how I earned my cutie mark. It was how I saved Equine – no, Equestria – countless times with my friends. I was the world’s saviour, its salvation. I saw religions about me rise, fall, and rise again. I witnessed and ruled nations come to power and fade, sometimes in the blink of an eye, sometimes in a breath. Others barely learned how to tread water before their eternal flame was snuffed out. Yet Equestria endured. For six thousand years my sisters Celestia and Luna ruled before I came to power, and, like all members of the equine race – alicorns, pegasi, unicorns, and Earth ponies – we had our squabbles. Luna spent one-sixth of that time in imprisonment on the Moon. It was here that my story really began. But you know that tale, or what is unfolding of it in your time. What you don’t realize is it has already happened, that a million eons ago my story was real. Yes – the events you see are an actual chronicle of our chaotic lives, the one true group of friends I had the pleasure of getting close with over my long life. My friends all perished in various ways. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack… over time, every last one of them rode their way to bliss upon Charon’s boat. I even witnessed Celestia and Luna cross the river into eternity. Each of their deaths was painful, every last one filled with pain and sorrow unimaginable, and yet, by the time Rarity died, I expected it. I hate to think I grew callous, but when you have eternity to look forward to, other friendships to maintain, and royal duties calling your name, eventually you get very good at a stoic poker face. At Spike’s funeral, I didn’t even cry. …oh, Celestia, why didn’t I cry? For one-thousand six-hundred ninety-two years, that little dragon stayed by my side as my loyal and everlasting assistant. I could always count on his wisdom and emotional strength to carry me through the darkest hours. He supported me through the funerals of my five closest friends. He made sure my Darkness never surfaced. His mind was sharp and pointed right until the very end. Yet his body betrayed him. He began to take more naps. His joints failed. His lifeblood, formerly hot and burning with passion, began to run cold and cynical. He walked with crutches, then barely moved from his bed. Eventually, he asked me to take his life. …I couldn’t do it. We got into an argument. We said words we shouldn’t have. We wounded each other very deeply. We… He and I never spoke again until his flame finally left him. His funeral was lavish. I spared no expense to ensure he had the best possible funeral. I even inducted him as Equestria’s first Twilight Saint, an honour I then posthumously awarded to my friends the same day. My darkness took root. > ~ I I ~ > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- II Spike’s death was difficult and filled with regrets. However, I took Celestia’s death much harder. It was painful to watch my mentor fade like she did, that at ten thousand years of life, she would falter. It became apparent with twenty years to go. She was losing weight and magic power. Her horn and wings evaporated. All these things she took in stride. What hurt me most, however, was the crippling dementia that took her mind. For five years she thrashed on the bed, barely able to remember her own name. She fought caretakers. She refused to see me. Luna and I had to usurp the political power she had and hide her in a cave to keep her from driving Equestria into ruin with irresponsible and wild spending, leaving her with but one attendant instructed to only get her what she needed to live, as well as whatever she would like for entertainment. I coaxed the Sun into working for me – that was a task and a half. Even getting Luna and the Moon on-side to negotiate with the Sun nearly proved ineffectual, but eventually the Sun conceded when Celestia tried to command the sun to “explode, implode, and combust for Mine entertainment”. Getting the nobility on board was no issue; apparently, some of them had been accosted for favours from the Princesses and rumours had been flying about as to how to dethrone her. She lasted exactly one year after we seized power. In her last minutes, with the final vestiges of lucidity she possessed, she invited Luna and myself to her chamber by name and apologized for the pain she had caused. Luna was gracious and accepted her apology for the both of us. As for me… I couldn’t reply. I couldn’t watch her die. I had spent the last hundred years poring over every magical tome in the world in an attempt to save the life of this pony who had effectively raised me to be the leader I had become. I fled from the room, from my family, from Equestria. From life. It was a bittersweet peace when she passed. I went into mourning for a decade, losing myself in the comfortable familiarity of books and libraries, once again becoming a hermit, doing only what was necessary, and leaving Luna to bottle up her emotions and command Equestria as her sister had done. Yet, both she and I knew that Luna was merely one thousand years Celestia’s junior, and that her days were numbered. However, I didn’t expect how fast her time was about to come. When I came out of mourning, Luna herself was gray in entirety. She was exhausted and in pain, clearly suffering from an alicorn-sized helping of depression caused by being unable to mourn her sister. Health practitioners had no explanation. I had no explanation. I had done something selfish, and Luna had paid dearly for it. As penance, I devoted the last twenty years of her life to ruling Equestria so she could mourn. Like before, I threw myself back into the world of Equestrian politics and ensured the country did not miss Luna. Yet, the damage had been done. Despite the rest, Luna’s health failed rapidly. Depression had rotted away her will to live to the point where her eyes had gone glossy and everything she did was lethargic and languid. She barely ate. She didn’t sleep. She passed control of the moon over to me without a breath of acknowledgement, then teleported to Celestia’s grave and perished there not five minutes later. Her wailing was heard across the breadths and depths of Canterlot. In spite of all my efforts to the contrary, it was Luna’s death that was the worst for Equestria. Two royals in twenty years had been too much for the people. They looked to me more than ever before as a beacon of hope and light. They looked to me for food and shelter. I was now at a crisis point for my nation – the next thing I said would make or break my rule. So I called a general audience. And I blew it. In haste, in rage, and in agony… in sorrow, in shame, and in delirium, I said three words that ended Equestria forever. “Screw you all.” My darkness came out in full force and effect. I became Silent Twilight, and I was unstoppable. Judgmental. Friendless. Angry. A tyrant to end all tyrants. The Dark Age of the World had begun. > ~ I I I ~ > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- III I remember everything from that darkness. All of it red. All nine-hundred seventy-three years of it. Ponies everywhere were dead and dying. The Sun and Moon were erratic. My voice – and at the same time, not – screaming death and vitriol. I reshaped the very planet to my will. My scepter became Discord’s decapitated skull when he tried to seize power over me. There were constant and terrorizing wars with armies and armies of Harmony zombies. Even the last thirty years, where I re-enacted my entire birth-to-ascension timeline repeatedly with these zombies, I was utterly mad. I was a monster stuck in a past that no longer existed. I was an alicorn in a predictable and satiable pattern. Ponyville was pristine. My library was pure. Everything was “as it should be”. Whatever friends I made were ones willing to dress and act to such exacting standards where they were duplicates of my friends. Yet, they weren’t. They weren’t happy. Everything was off. Everything was wrong. Nothing was as it was. I was alone in the future, desperate for a friend, yet desiring none. And what I knew as Equestria had moved on without me. The land outside Ponyville had developed a democratic system, changed its name, and encaged me in a giant iron dome fortified with powerful magic. I’ve watched your Truman Show, and I can see the parallels in my own life from this era. I began to be nothing more than entertainment, a mockery of destruction and recreation that ponies would watch and bet on. The Elements of Harmony and my friends were nothing more than dishonourable legends and recreations of a crazy mare. I knew this happened because of my connection with the Sun and Moon, who observed all things on Equis and reported back to me all they saw, regardless of whether I cared. How glad am I that my friends were resting in their sleep at the time! How glad am I that the ponies of what was Equestria saw in their wisdom to cage me as I burned out! How glad am I that the Tree of Harmony still stood tall and strong, which birthed six new Elements to save me. I do not know how these ponies acquired them, nor by what methods they became friends, unlike my own Harmony experience and that of my Princesses. Regardless, it was a glorious moment when they entered the dome, Elements in tow and cleansed me of my Night Mare Moon – Silent Twilight. The government knew of my history and life. After meeting me for the first time, however, they quickly realized that, for all intents and purposes, I was, in fact, magic. I could have departed the Dome at any time, a fact which I demonstrated by simply forming myself into magic and motioning through the ether surrounding the dome without so much as a breath. I was so preoccupied that I didn’t feel the need to leave. A religion had also sprung up around me – the Twili, as they called themselves. They kept preaching about how “the Goddess was coming to cleanse us of our sins” and that “the righteousness of Equestria would be reborn in Her image.” When I showed absolute distaste for politics, instead preaching of Harmony with the New Six as my bishops, they called me a heretic and terrorized my followers. Heh… ridiculous… calling their supposed “goddess” a heretic. Both of these groups wanted me – the Twili, to rule, and the government, to experiment on. With so much persecution and opposition, I and my followers did the only sensible thing we could think of. We fled the country. One of your great thinkers, and the Son of HIM, Jesus Christ, said something along the lines of, “A prophet is welcome everywhere except in his own backyard”. Everywhere there were equines, we were welcomed. Their homes were ours. Their food was ours. They bore no ill will towards me, not like the mocking jabs of those at home. Yet, as we passed along our wisdom of harmony, something would change, as if Harmony itself was a curse. One time, I tapped into my magic to find out about what was going on. The result saddened me. Apparently, ponies from Equestria were going around and spreading the tale of what I had done to others, saying that it was the “true account of Harmony” and “the cost of following lies.” From that point on, I wanted to meet with the ponies responsible. There was no luck for almost a year on our westward walk. At the ninth village, I finally, personally heard the rumour mill churning. I had taken on my original unicorn form for a time so I could get a drink. My followers had decided to bed down for the night, but I was not yet tired. When I passed into a bar, I called up a stealth-listen-and-highlight spell to eavesdrop on all the conversations in the bar and illuminate for me the pony or two who were discussing my past. I ordered a daiquiri and sat quietly in the corner of the bar, waiting for the spell to activate. One-and-a-half daiquiris later, the spell set off. To my surprise, it was in the next booth over. I quickly casted another listening spell, which isolated the conversation from the rest of the bar. As I finished this glass, I heard the whole thing. To my surprise, the government of Eques… no, Amariquus… was, largely, telling the truth, except for the unnecessary embellishments about the country’s greatness and how they had liberated themselves from the “tyranny of alicorn oppression by way of a great war against our former overlords”. The government clearly had misrepresented what had happened. So I came clean. I stood up in front of the entire town the next day. I told my entire life story, everything from how I was born to now. I spoke of the despair I felt as my nine closest friends had gone before me, leaving me alone against the world. That was their so-called war – a fight against a mad pony who was trying to destroy not only herself, but the world. It was a tale that drew many eyes to tears, and even won converts among my most staunch opponents. In the end, the Elements of Harmony that had saved me remained there as I continued on, never to see them again. A small village now traveled with me, then a small city, as I countered the lies of Ameriquus. Eventually, I had to select another group of Bearers from among my followers, for the old ones had died back in the village. But Harmony would not come to me. I came to the realization that Harmony selected its own, and that I was merely its bishop in a massive game of chess. A new country had inherited Equestria’s legacy, a small country that I actually watched grow around me. On top of that, fewer and fewer assailants from Amariquus tailed me. Those that did would more often than not join my ranks as fact became myth, myth became legend, and legend faded from memory. With the Harmonious Ones, I circumnavigated the globe. Then I did so again. Again. And again, spreading the message of Harmony virtually unimpeded for thousands of years. Those that followed me and those that believed increased in number for a long time. However, I began noticing a downward trend in population throughout the world. I attended funerals and births at an equal pace at this point, each birth matching each death practically one day after another, often at the same time. Each one I carried in me as a memory, a treasure buried deep within my heart. But it was not to last. Eventually, the numbers dwindled. There was no real explanation for it, at least, at first. On my millionth birthday, I witnessed the death of an entire country by plague. Two hundred years later, just as the population rebuilt, an earthquake struck down a large portion of the Equine populace. Nothing really recovered, and as the atmosphere dwindled, so did the magic holding the world together. The Sun began acting of its own accord, and the moon fled the sky to some distant, unknown destination as gravity and environment utterly collapsed. I buried the last equine apart from myself on my fifty-millionth birthday, the day the sun also died. It’s a strange thing to feel a star die, especially one that you’ve had control over for so long. You know the thoughts it feels as it ends. It knows it has had a long life, and that it has no qualms about letting go. It wanted a quick death, not slow and drawn-out like some of its other siblings across space had experienced over the last million years or so. Like Spike, it also asked me to kill it. This time, I did not hesitate. I became a wraith that day, a servant of the end of the world. If I could hasten parts of the universe’s collapse, so be it. If I could preserve a precious memory or put to rest a race at the end of its time, I did so. It was a solemn duty, and one I carried out on the last wave of magic for multitudes of millennia. It also allowed me to obtain knowledge I would otherwise had never had access to, and make friends at the end of the universe that I would not have. Although I took the task of being a harbinger of the End, I never once regretted it. I cried. I mourned. I buried more friends in those last trillion years than I ever thought possible, but I treasured it all. The mistake I had made at letting my darkness grow so many billions of years earlier still weighed on my mind as if it had happened yesterday, and I swore it would never happen again. Finally, I coaxed the last star in the universe, an old fart stubbornly holding onto the last wisps of strength it had, to release itself. And so, exactly one quadrillion years of life after I first took breath, I floated in an empty void as absolute zero began creeping in. I was tired. I was exhausted. I was ready to die. But I was happy. The irony I found in that moment, that I had brought about the end of life, history, and time itself, yet remained happy, found its way into my heart. I was no longer Twilight Sparkle, nor was I Silent Twilight. I was Omega. Bringer of final friendships. Finalizer of life and land. The ultimate conclusion to what was. I was… It. I floated there, consumed by darkness and confused with what to do next. I floated for… geez, I don’t know… generations. I lived in my memories, basking in what was and reliving all the glory of the simple things. Friendships. Gatherings. Parties. They were what I remembered most. At that moment, when I was content, HE came, and HE brought up from within me long-dormant questions. > ~ I V ~ > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- IV I never got HIS name. I never understood where HE came from or what HIS purpose was. You call HIM a number of names, from what I hear. I have but one for HIM. HIS form was white, with a mane made of light itself and pulsing in all manner of colours. HIS face was covered in a large golden mask, similar golden eyes piercing through holes he clearly didn’t need. HIS body only had forelegs, the rear half of the form folding into itself and disappearing somewhere beyond the ether. HIS cutie mark was a trifold triangle, engraved in plain sight upon HIS faceplate. HIS horn protruded magnificently from underneath the helm, and HIS wings, the largest I had ever seen, spread threefold to each side, and were tipped with golden adornments. This was obviously a construct, a representation of HIM in a form I would understand, but it was the most beautiful construct I had ever seen. So perfect. So pristine. So utterly godlike. So completely above me. I was attracted, repelled, awed, surprised, honoured, aroused and… well, basically completely confused all at once. He was so perfect it was utterly impossible for me to think of myself as even having a ghost of a chance of thinking of an acquaintanceship, never mind anything more. While I was merely Equestrian royalty He Was Royalty. This STALLION did not need entourage. HE did not need embellishments. HE didn’t even need to speak. The universe itself was HIS embellishment, evidenced by how the light of HIS mane swirled slowly around us. It created a simple platform of light, which, effortlessly, cemented itself into a solid mass. As this happened and his forehooves rested upon the platform, gravity returned to my body for the first time in countless hours. My hooves joined his in rest upon the mass, the ancient sensation pressing me softly to the platform. Twilight Sparkle. I gulped. I had no idea what was coming. “N-n-nuh…” I choked. I coughed. I gagged. I stammered. I could say nothing in HIS presence. HIS very regality suffocated the words out of me. Do not fear, my child, he said. I have been watching you fulfil your duties without complaint for many years, far beyond what would normally be expected of alicorns. Yet, you knew in your heart what being tied with Magic meant. I swallowed. I hadn’t given it much thought, but… I guess, something within me did know. Even in my maddened state so long ago, I knew. I was to last far longer and do something to rewrite history as I knew it. “But… to destroy the universe? How could YOU choose me to do that?” There must always be an end to a beginning, unless there was no beginning. Unfortunately for some, they must end what others begin. This is the way of this universe. It made logical sense, but it still hurt. I bit my lip, worried that I would insult with my next phrase. Go ahead, young Twilight, HE encouraged. Be not afraid. I know your pain. I swallowed. With a deep breath, I looked into his eyes. “W-why me? Why not some other pony? Why did it have to be me?” HE was silent. I began to pace. “What’s the plan? Why did the world have to end then? Why couldn’t you have just let it go as it was? What was the purpose of making a beginning and an end? What do you want from me?” HE looked at me, expressionless. Well, not completely. A tear rolled down HIS eye. “Why did you do this? Why did you not rescue us ponies when we lived? Why let it all die? Why let all life die?” By this point, I was screaming. “Why did you let my… m-my friends, my mentor, my sister, brother… my country, e-everything I ever loved is gone! Why did you take it from me?” My voice was hoarse. My throat, parched. I was nose-to-nose with this STALLION, this KING, who was crying. What kind of KING was HE anyway, to cry like a commoner? Celestia never cried like this! I never cried like this! What was HIS game? After what felt like an eternity, he stepped forward and enveloped me in pure, warm light. I was speechless. I mean, what can you say about experiencing a hug from three – no, that’s not right, one – no, that’s not right, either… three AND one beings. I know, I know… this might be fourth-dimension thinking going on here, but trust me on this. It was like getting a hug from love itself: pure, perfect, pristine love. I felt true community. True compassion. True HARMONY. Forget what linking with the Elements was like. Forget about what living as friends with others was like. This was that to mathematical powers inconceivable to my phenomenal mind. I had not forgotten my many lovers, my many children. Each of their loves was grand. This was beyond that. This was pure. All things I create must come back to me of their own choice, HE whispered. If I do not present them with things that will challenge them in their resolve and do not present an alternative to MYSELF, then I could not honestly claim my creations to have chosen ME, and therefore could not call MYSELF good. This is why I must allow what happens between two ponies to occur, whatever may come. This is also why I must not interfere when it comes to violence, for if I were to interfere, I could no longer say that I allowed them to choose what they did, and therefore could not call MYSELF good or just. “But what about death?” When I first designed your race, I designed you all to be immortal. However, I gave the first two a choice – follow ME or you and all your children die. “Isn’t that a little harsh?” When you were a foal, your parents were given authority over you. If they were responsible, they warned you of a consequence, then followed through when you disobeyed. Most children do not have the knowledge to question their parents until they are much older. So too did your race. They also did not think to simply let the whys of this decision lie when it came up. However, I know you, Twilight. I made you, after all, and I know you will not be satisfied with the foals’ answer to that question. I will tell you more once you’ve passed across the river. It is time for this universe to end, and another to be born. As much as my logic circuits demanded an answer, I decided to trust HIM. Call it desperation. Call it curiosity. Call it naivete. Heck, call it idiocy for all I care. Whatever. At that moment, I made the choice to trust instead of think it out. I sighed and smiled sadly. “Do what you need to.” He chuckled. I will need you. I was aghast. “B-but YOU can do it! YOU don’t need me to create a new universe, not with what YOU did to form this platform. Why am I necessary?” Because I make it so. Now I was totally confused. Concentrate your energy into the ball at the centre of your soul – all of it. Spare no magic. I complied. My horn lit up and drew what was left of the universe’s magic to myself. It wasn’t a lot. In fact, I wound up drawing upon my own reserves far more than those of what wasn’t around me. The dark magic, too. I cracked an eye and looked at HIM skeptically. Let the race I make choose, Twilight. Otherwise, I cannot be honest. I nodded and, for the first time in my life, drew upon all my magic at once. Light and dark swirled within myself, comingling in perfect balance until shades of gray coalesced around my form. Slowly, my body drew clearer, exposing a single glowing orb within. Will you entreat your soul to me? I drew it, along with my magic out of myself. For a split second, I held it out, but recoiled. “Promise me this.” Whatever you wish. “Remember me.” HARMONY smiled. With that, I left my soul in HIS hooves and took my final ride. > ~ V ~ > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- V HARMONY held my soul in HIS hoof. HE continued smiling as HE absorbed it and sent it heavenward. You will be remembered in this universe, Twilight. You will be called Mother Nature. Songs and stories will be written about your sacrifice. Your spirit and the spirit of all your friends will ride the waves of history. Your names will not be forgotten, and, when the race I shall create reaches proper age, your story will be told. HE disappeared into the void, only to re-emerge as a pair of disembodied hands surrounded by a powerful aura. Let there be light.