Make New Friends but Keep Papyrus
Woona blinked her eyes blearily as she awoke. "Ugh...my eyes hurt..." she grumbled, rubbing at them.
That's what happens when you cry yourself to sleep, Chara offered, his voice somewhat cold.
Woona blinked. Are...are you upset with me, Chara? she asked in her mind.
Let's see...you were about to sacrifice yourself, breaking the heart of everyone who's grown to care about you and probably leading Mom to fall down, all because someone you just met told you it would make everyone happy! Chara replied sarcastically. No, nothing in that to be upset over!
Then why are you yelling at me? Woona whimpered internally.
...that was sarcasm. Yes, I'm very upset with you right now.
I'm sorry... Woona whimpered. But...everyone we meet is looking forward to the barrier being broken...I just...wanted to make that happen...
Chara sighed gustily. Then find some way to do it that won't cause a civil war in the process, Chara scolded. I haven't stuck around you this long just to see you act like an idiot.
I offer much more than that in way of entertainment! Woona offered jokingly.
...just get out of bed already, Chara chided. Undyne's probably waiting for you. This is her house, after all.
Right! With that thought, Woona leapt out of bed, donned her saddlebags from where they lay beside her, and left the spartan, barely furnished bedroom and into a surprisingly clean and tidy kitchen. The walls had a pink fish pattern against blue wallpaper - a pattern that was repeated throughout the room with fish decorations - an orange table, a fridge, a stove, and a piano.
Undyne stood near the counter, trying to smooth out a warp with pure strength, only to stop as she caught sight of Woona. No longer in her armor, she wore a black shirt Chara identified as a 'wife beater', and blue jeans with brown boots. "You finally woke up, huh?" she asked with a smirk. "I was beginning to think I'd have to keep an eye out for your soul leaving your body after all."
Woona blinked, confused. "Uh..."
She thought you might fall down in your sleep, Chara explained.
"Oh, no!" Woona continued. "I was just...really tired. That fight was...pretty intense."
"Yeah," Undyne agreed, looking away. "Physically and emotionally..." She bit her lip, then shook her head. "Anyway, since I can't deliver the finishing blow after all, there's no way I can be your enemy."
Woona gasped happily. "Then we can be friends-"
"NO!" Undyne snapped, flexing. "Friends is not enough! If I am to have my revenge upon you for this humiliation, I must make you like me so much that we become 'besties'! Then you will be the one humiliated!" Throwing her head back, Undyne burst into laughter.
Woona couldn't stop herself from giggling along with her. "I hope you're ready to give it your all!" she countered, doing her best to pose like a diva. "After all, I am a pony with very high standards!"
"I'm friends with Papyrus," Undyne countered.
Woona gasped dramatically. "Oh no! You're meeting all of my standards!"
As Undyne and Woona laughed together, Chara moved ethereally to the wall, futilely attempting to bang his head against it.
Undyne grinned widely as she stopped laughing. "Why don't you have a seat and we'll get started?"
Nodding, Woona took a seat at the table.
"Comfortable?" Undyne asked. When Woona nodded, she made her way to the fridge. "I'll get you something to drink." Taking several items out, she laid them out on the counter. "What would you like?"
As Woona started to stand to examine the items, Undyne hurled a spear that broke the table as it became embedded in the wood.
"Hey!" Undyne shouted. "Don't get up! You're the guest! Sit down and enjoy yourself!"
"Yes'm," Woona replied meekly, planting her bottom on the stool.
Undyne winced, not having meant to scare her. "Hey, how about you use that spear to point at what you want?" Undyne suggested.
Nodding, Woona levitated the spear in her magic.
Point it at her! Chara suggested eagerly.
Stifling her giggles, Woona pointed the spear at Undyne.
Undyne blinked, a little stunned. "Are you...hitting on me?"
Doing her best to keep a straight face, Woona quirked her eyebrows up and down suggestively. However, she wasn't able to maintain her straight face for long before bursting into laughter. "Your face!" she squealed in laughter as she fell over, the bone in her apron pocket clacking against the floor.
"Is that a bone in your pocket?" Undyne demanded, confused.
"Nope!" Woona squealed through her laughter. "I'm just happy to see you!"
Running to the wall, Undyne slammed her face through it before screaming in frustration. Chara howled in laughter. After a time, Undyne pulled her head back into the room. "Where did you learn that sort of humor?" she demanded.
"My big brother!" Woona responded happily.
"Then someone needs to give your big brother a spanking!" Undyne insisted. "Those jokes are naughty!"
Woona's eyes widened. Chara! she demanded in her mind. You were making me make naughty jokes at everyone?
All I did was suggest them, Chara countered. You told them all on your own.
Groaning, Woona buried her face in the broken table, the spear spinning to point at the tea.
"Tea, huh?" Undyne asked. "Alright." She quickly pulled out a pot, filled it with water, and put it on the stove. "It'll take it a while for the water to boil. Want to talk about anything in that time?"
"How come you have so little here?" Woona asked curiously.
"Cause I tend to break things a lot," Undyne replied. "So nothing I value stays here long. I leave most of it with Alphys."
"Who?" Woona inquired.
"The royal scientist," Undyne explained. "She has a lab in Hotland where she lives. She's...a friend."
"Does she come here often?" Woona asked curiously.
"Sometimes," Undyne replied easily, glancing at the teapot, her gaze somewhat distracted.
Woona looked at Undyne carefully for a time. "...she never stays long?" she asked carefully.
"I just said that," Undyne muttered distractedly.
Woona rubbed her hooves together, deciding to leave it at that for now. Before long, Undyne presented Woona with a cup of tea. "Careful, it's hot."
Nodding, Woona held it in her magic, using a brief cooling spell to bring the tea to palatable drinking levels. Her eyes widened as she tasted it. "This is Mommy's favorite tea!" she gasped out.
Undyne nodded. "Your father's, too," she stated.
Woona flinched. "Uhh..."
"The only woman in the Ruins with family out here is Queen Toriel," Undyne continued. "Which means she's your Mother based on what you said...and that makes King Asgore your Father, Princess."
"I've been trying to keep it secret," Woona murmured softly.
"Understandable," Undyne explained. "You seem determined to befriend everyone, for whatever reason. That would be somewhat difficult if everyone knew you were the King's daughter he hadn't met yet." She carefully sipped her own tea. "You're actually a lot like Asgore."
"I am?" Woona asked, surprised.
"Yeah!" Undyne confirmed. "You're both total weenies!" As Woona glowered at her, Undyne frowned. "...sort of. ...you know, I used to be a really hotheaded kid. To try and prove how strong I was, I challenged Asgore and tried to fight him." She chuckled softly. "Emphasis on tried. I couldn't land a hit on him...and he refused to fight back."
"Just like me," Woona concluded.
"Yeah," Undyne agreed. "After that humiliating defeat...he asked if I wanted to know how to beat him. When I said I did, he started training me. I still remember the day I finally knocked him flat on his back. I thought he'd be angry or upset, especially with how bad I felt from doing that...but I've never seen him look more proud..."
Woona said nothing, just taking in everything Undyne was saying.
At that moment, the phone rang. "One sec," Undyne said, quickly going to the phone and picking it up. "Hello? ...Papyrus? ...yeah, Woona's just fine. I'm making friends with her. We're going to be besties, so take that! ...what? What do you mean you can't make your cooking lesson? ...oh, I see how it is! In that case, I'll teach her how to make spaghetti even better than you can! Then we'll see who's better friends with her!" She slammed the phone down, breaking it. "Hey, Woona! Wanna learn how to cook spaghetti?"
"Yay! Pasghetti!" Woona cheered. "Then I can cook with Papy!"
"Then let me show you how it's done!" Undyne screamed, sweeping everything off the counters. Leaping across the table, she grabbed Woona and yanked her over to the counter. "Let's start with the sauce!" she screamed, stomping her foot and causing vegetables to fall from the ceiling. "Envision these vegetables as your greatest enemy...and POUND THEM TO DUST WITH YOUR FISTS!"
"...I don't have fists," Woona pointed out, waving her hooves.
"Then use whatever, just POUND WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT!" Undyne screamed out.
Gathering her magic, Woona envisioned the barrier keeping the Monsters underground upon the vegetables and unleashed. The countertop directly in front of her was left cratered, the vegetables sprayed over the wall. "Uhh..."
"Now that's some epic cooking!" Undyne screamed encouragingly. "We'll scrape it into a bowl later! But for now!" Stomping her foot again, a pot full of water and a box of spaghetti noodles fell onto the stove. "We add the noodles! Homemade noodles are the best...BUT I JUST BUY STORE BRAND! THEY'RE THE CHEAPEST!"
Remembering how Undyne told her to make the sauce, Woona seized the box of noodles in her magic, leapt into the air, and dunked it into the pot with enough force to shatter the box and create an upward geyser of water.
"YES!" Undyne screamed encouragingly, really getting into it. "Now STIR! The more you stir, the better it is!"
Seizing the spear from the table in her magic, Woona slammed it into the pot hard enough to damage it, splashing water and pasta everywhere.
"Now it's time to cook!" Undyne screamed out. "Give it everything you've got!"
Nodding, Woona called forth her fire magic and bombarded the pot with it, pouring out as much as she could.
"That's it!" Undyne insisted. "Let the stovetop symbolize your hopes and dreams! Turn them into a blazing pyre!" As the pot began to melt, she screamed out, "Hotter!" As the flames swirled like a wildfire, she screamed, "Hotter!" When it began to consume all the oxygen in the room, she backed up. "Maybe a little too hot..."
Woona could not hear. All she could hear was Undyne encouraging her to put all of her into the cooking flame, and all she could see was the fire. And then the house exploded.
Woona lifted her head groggily, staring at the crater where Undyne's house used to be. "...oops?" she squeaked out.
Undyne turned to glower at her. She held out her hand to start a lecture...and a plate landed on it. Perfectly cooked pasta piled itself onto the plate as it fell. Perfectly mixed sauce covered the pasta in the perfect proportion. A single sprig of parsley slowly floated down to garnish the platter perfectly. A fork landed tines first in the pile, waiting for the taste test.
Woona and Undyne both stared at it...and then Undyne burst into laughter. "Now that's what I call Epic Pasta Time!" she screamed out. "I'm taking this to Papyrus' house to show him how much better you are at cooking, and how much better friends we are that you cooked for me! If you wanna talk, besty, you can reach me there!" Laughing madly, Undyne dashed off.
Woona blinked in confusion. "Uhh...what just happened?"
Friendship...Undyne style, Chara explained.
"Ya~tta!" Woona cheered, leaping into the air and thrusting one hoof upwards in victory, the...unusual method of making a friend filling her with DETERMINATION.
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Uh…
At the end. That's an anime reference, right?
Yeeeeeeeeeeees. This is great.
Poor Papyrus, no longer the Pasghetti King.
What the heck. What. The perfect pasta. What. How. Why
STAY D E T E R M I N E D and continue this story. Please.
huh.... bone-apatite
I just realized, when Undyne was about to kill Woona, her thought process seemed to be this:
If I kill her, lots of people will be sad, but we'll be free!
Wait, Sans likes this kid, and Sans is scary.
Not doing it, nope, can't make me.
Next time, we're using Vegetoids veggies... And Jack Daniel's!
Welp. That line had to come up sometime. And might I suggest linking to "Spear of Justice" for the cooking segment? It's Undyne's normal battle theme and plays when you befriend her in-game because Undyne can't not be hardcore.
... Well at least she's not traumatized.
I however am.
Can I have a Woona someone? Anyone?
7063124 yeah, we don't want her to haves a , bad time.
7063169 You avatar made me giggle, especially after this chapter.
That is all.
... Did you watch Looney Tunes before making this chapter? That last part screams Wile E. Coyote.
... Wait a sec...
... well, damn.
I started reading Undyne's spaghetti scene in Iron Will's voice. Oh, man, now I can't get this vision out of my head of Iron Will giving up the "toughness counseling" business and starting his own cooking show.
(stands on his goat pyramid, flexes to the crowd)
"IF SOMEONE BLOCKS FOR YOUR SAKE,
THEN BAKE THEM A DELICIOUS CAKE!
STRAWBERRY, BANANA, AND COCONUT SUPREME!
WITH VANILLA THEY MAKE THE ULTIMATE TEAM!"
(Woona pops out of the cake, licking her lips with a "Yay!nomnomnomnom...")
7063225 Sure, here you go mate. *Hands you a Woona*
Hehehehehe, awesome awesome work man, nice job!
Ahahahaha!!!! That's HILARIOUS
Undyne throwing a spear and breaking the table? Check.
Woona pointing a spear at Undyne? Check.
Epic spaghetti cooking time? CHECK!
Undyne's house destroyed? Check!
Perfectly cooked pasta? Check...wait, what?!
Even after the disastrous cooking session, Woona still manages to cook a spaghetti.
Well that went better than I expected! 
And so, it's time we retired a joke... also, of course we keep Papyrus.
I dunno, seems pretty upsetting to me.
That's very true. She says "I'm four!", says things she doesn't understand to the shock of others, and is super duper nice.
A wife-beater, you say?... Toby Fox: Alluding to plot twists since Halloween, 2009.
Shut up and take my money, all of it!!!
*Sigh* Now I'm out of money... guess I'll just keep supporting you or something. Anywho, here's a joke I've been dying to use.
Huh, it's like negative patronus empowerment.
...
....
..... Inside the kitchen, for a game of two-on-one: she and Undyne versus a box of noodles; what fun! They headed to Undyne's house right after their fight, because everybody knows you'll work up an appetite. They came ready, they came ready to cook, they came ready to come and invite Napstablook. The box of noodles said "You ain't going to win, get the jists? How can you cook me if you don't have any fists?" She got the box and she passed it off to Undyne, Undyne caught the pass, passed it back and said "Keep tryin'!". She threw the box in, the noodles fell off the sides, she couldn't believe her eyes; she had broken up the tides. She summoned all her magic and she threw it in a rove, nobody could believe it, noodles fell across the stove. It started frying, just like pasta always does, and then Undyne questioned Woona just because: "Why's the pasta frying?" "'Cause it just got dunked on!" "I ain't even lying." "Yo it just got dunked on! Yup yup, it was sitting in the box, so I hurled it in the air, dunked it like bad alarm clocks." "Why's the pasta frying?" "'Cause it just got dunked on!" "I ain't even lying." "Yo it just got dunked on! Yup yup, it was sitting in the box, so I hurled it in the air, dunked it like bad alarm clocks."
... I'm sorry you had to see that.
Anyone else reminded of that one filler of Naruto? You know, the one where they're fighting against cooking-nin in a cooking contest, and they use their chakra techniques in order to win? Ah, well, awesome chapter as always.
Oh nonononono!!
Chara is corrupting our pwecious Woona already!!
7063302
Agreed! AGREED!!!!
I think you meant to put Woona there first.
Talk about a mushy way to make besties.
I wonder if this spaghetti will... Stomp out all other competition for best spaghetti.
I'd say there was something fishy about what Undyne likes but I could be wrong.
I'd say I was stomped at how fast they became friends but I wasn't.
7063358
The puns! They're back! Now to rage at them!
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/021/779/60a.png
Yatta? Next you are going to have "Yatte yaruze!!" In here.
Dancouga is an amazing show.
7063334
7063525 "Yatta!" is Japanese for "We/I did it!" or "All right!" It's kind of like screaming "Yes!"
Basically, just watch virtually any anime ever made, and someone will shout it, at some point.
7063100
7063558 I know, which is why i put what I did, Yatte yaruze generally means, "let's do this" it was made popular by a character named Shinobu from the old anime Dancouga.
Umg i love it
Fixed it for you.
7063358 I guess undyne has a HOT relationship with alphys.
Chara has been exposed! (to Woona)
Well, only the joke thing.
Spaghetti~ MAJICK spaghetti~
That is not how I expected the Undyne date to end. Once again you fly off the rails from the original game. Well done!
Ah well.
Best chapter yet!!!
7063107 No, he still is. Woona's just the Pasghetti Queen.
Oh this was GLORIOUS! I laughed so hard.
OK, originally Undyne's house was on fire and just sad. They're in Waterfall. There is water. Put out the fire. I think the crater was a more legit outcome... though, the spaghetti... just... WHAT?!
Anypony else concerned that woona wants to break the barrier and she just mght if she could destroy a house and make petfect spgettie by accident imaging wjen shes trying to do something
7063660 I actually thought it was a typo for huttah.
i.imgur.com/mSKHFol.jpg
..sooooo THATS what I'm doing wrong in my cooking!!!
need more epicnessessessess...ness!
makes perfect sense!, become besties, so thus you can prove you are a better friend than your new friend is! and even papyruss shall fall in all of their new friendship!
An excellent chapter. Well done.
7063660 Anime enough.
7064673 Breaking the barrier of normalcy is what they do best.
7065285
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ed/2d/8b/ed2d8be27baec144079f17eed6f08aec.jpg
I just realized. Undyne slammed her head through the wall. She's hardcore even in frustration.
Dat title reference doe!!!
INACCURATE!!! If it was an Epic Pasta Time, you would've had bacon in that spaghetti!!!
Like bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and diet bacon strips and chewy bacon strips and naked bacon strips and crispy bacon strips and salty bacon strips and EXTRA salty bacon strips and extra juicy bacon strips and rather long bacon strips and bacon strips and chocolate-flavoured bacon strips and bacon strips and STRAWBERRY-flavoured bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips that look like a fish and bacon strips and bacon strips and non-fat bacon strips and bacon strips and extra fat bacon strips and donuts..... AND BACON STRIPS and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and bacon strips and a martini and bacon strips flavoured like martinis and bacon strips and bacon strips and-
*1000 different bacon recommendations later*
AND FINALLY........
.......bacon strips....
Dammit I'm hungry, I'm gonna gets some bacon strips!
Your perfectly prepared, pony style pasta, fills you with DeTemmienation.
7063694 Ah. Sorry. The way you put it made it sound like you thought that it was the catchphrase of some character from that show.