Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCXLVI · 10:11pm Dec 14th, 2023
There’s nothing big going on right now for me, so excuse me if I use today’s blog to ramble about a few small, unconnected, random things.
First on my mind is the nature of ‘good bad writing’. Not too long ago I read a short story that had a lot of poor writing. The underlying story was very interesting, but the writing didn’t work. This leads me to wonder about the nature of writing poorly in a good way. In other words: experimenting. There are plenty of excellent stories out there where the authors fiddle around with the formatting and do things that are in blatant defiance of proper grammar. For many of these stories, it can work amazingly well to create a mood, support a concept, or build upon the tension. But how do you do that and not make it look like a mess? To the point: good bad writing. My conclusion, at least for the moment, is that you have to know how to write correctly before you can attempt to write poorly.
Second topic: After thoroughly enjoying the gripping story that is Godzilla Minus One (twice), I decided to explore my options for other things to watch. Oppenheimer is one option, but it’s only available for purchase and I’d rather rent it. So Sunday I watched Shin Godzilla instead. I definitely get what they were going for with the political satire aspect and found the first half pretty amusing. Most of the major characters were politicians who cared more about the political fallout of their decisions than the fact that Godzilla’s, y’know, tearing up the neighborhood. Getting the helicopter with the government leaders blown up probably made up for all the damage and death Godzilla caused in that movie, and may have very well saved Japan in the long run. I really liked Godzilla’s design, but the way they defeated him was just plain silly.
Third topic: I’ll be going on vacation soon. Three weeks with nothing to do save visit family. Sounds nice, and I’m already kind of in the vacation mindset. Work at the office is all but stopped since everyone who can help me do anything or assign me new tasks is on vacation. On Friday I was up until two in the morning playing Cultist Simulator, then topped that by staying up until three on Saturday playing Civilization: Beyond Earth. Made me very unhappy with having to get up at 6:30 on Monday, let me assure you. My cousin has strongly hinted that she wants to take the free time we’ll both have to play a bit of Magic: The Gathering, which we haven’t done in probably three years now. I’m really looking forward to it.
Fourth topic: After the immense success of November, I haven’t done near as much writing. Part of me is writing it off as taking a break, and I am producing material still, only at a slower rate. I’m aiming to try and pick up the pace again these next two weeks, since the Guppy Love draft only has a couple chapters left and I’m now at the climax. It begs the question of what I’ll write next. I’m thinking about going back to pony for my next work, and maybe focusing on that horror-lite tale since it’s destined to be a big one. On the other hand, I could focus on something smaller so that I can get back to writing original fiction faster (which, let’s face it, would be the more responsible path). Decisions, decisions…
Fifth and final topic: I’ve reintroduced the concept of “break weeks” into my reading schedule. In the past, these were weeks where I read less and didn’t post any reviews. With my current schedule, a “break week” will be weeks where I don’t schedule anything outside of the Long Stories. So I’ll still be reading the long works, but I won’t be doing any short stories, which means no time spent writing a bunch of reviews. I’m not sure how I’ll go about making sure this doesn’t start putting me behind, but seeing as I’m currently eight weeks ahead of schedule I’ve got plenty of time to think about it! It’s a necessary call to ensure I don’t burn out, y’know?
That’s enough random rambling from me. Time for some reviews! We’ve got a pretty solid slate of stories this week.
Stories for This Week:
Making Do by Lurks-no-More
Travelers Tales: The Apple Of My Eye by Slippin_Sweetie
The Bounce Test by Estee
Morningstar by Reviewfilly
Grounded by KorenCZ11
Level with Me by Sage of the Leaf
The Fallacy Of Epiphany by RazgrizS57
Railroad Seven-Three by Defoloce
Frame of Reference by Minds Eye
Fallout: Equestria by Kkat
Total Word Count: 720,779
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 1
Pretty Good: 7
Worth It: 1
Needs Work: 1
None: 0
Making Do
2,754 Words
By Lurks-no-More
Discord’s antics in The Return of Harmony left Equestria in a pretty bad state. Weather is crazy all over the country, and Rainbow Dash’s Ponyville weather team is struggling to keep up with making things right. And then Ditzy Doo went and shot a bolt of lightning at Town Hall, making the balcony collapse. All this leaves Rainbow stuck in the Mayor’s office at stupid-o’clock in the morning getting her flank chewed out.
This brief story is largely about Rainbow Dash’s work as Weather Team Captain. The show doesn’t talk about this subject much at all, so this story clarifies things. Rainbow reports directly to Mayor Mare, and she’s actively dealing with meteorological matters far beyond the scope of the show. As a school drop-out, she lacks the finer details of the math behind it all, so she’s got Cloud Kicker (the only pony in Ponyville who did graduate from the weather academy) doing that bit. The actual story involves Rainbow dealing with the mayor, then talking to Cloud Kicker for her part in the incident, before finally going to inform Ditzy Doo that she’s not allowed to work weather anymore.
Was this written purely to showcase Rainbow’s duties as Weather Team Captain? I’m not sure, but it feels like it. I can’t say that’s a bad thing; I’m always up for a little worldbuilding. This was written waaaaaaay back in 2012; I can see weather control being an interesting and little-explored topic at the time. It’s also a capable display of Rainbow as a manager, making her out as far better than the rash and rough character she’s often portrayed as in-show, especially back then.
There’s not a lot to the story, but that plays in its favor here. It has also aged phenomenally, with pretty much nothing within it coming close to contradicting anything in modern canon. All in all, a good first showing from this author.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Travelers Tales: The Apple Of My Eye
5,507 Words
By Slippin_Sweetie
Sequel to The Equestria Chronicles: Prelude
The Mane Six are going on a big adventure, which means the Apple Family will have to tend to the Acres without Applejack for a while. For Apple Bloom Applebloom, that’s a taller order than she expected.
This story is ostensibly about Apple Bloom Applebloom adapting to life without Applejack around. And yeah, it gets there. But first Slippin_Sweetie felt obligated to show some CMC shenanigans because… because. Still, it does what it sets out to do, so in terms of plot this is leagues better than its predecessor. Apple Bloom Applebloom starts taking on more responsibilities, Big Mac and Granny have to tell her to relax and not overwork herself, stuff like that.
Alas, the writing is still an issue. 220 words in we get two characters with dialogue in the same paragraph and I’m already wanting to put the story away. But things get worse:
“Applebloom, we need to have ‘the talk,’ now I know you’re a bit young, but it’s time you learn about the responsibility we Apples have.”
“You know that Granny’s folks helped build the Orchard heck, they’re responsible for building Ponyville as we know it and let me tell ya building up this Orchard and the town wasn’t easy for them.”
Carefully placing the hat on Appleblooms head, the young filly looked at Applejack with confusion,
Applebloom said as she desperately fought off the tears, threatening to escape her eyes.
Quality writing this is not. I felt like it improved as the story went along (all those examples are from the first chapter), but it’s still an issue throughout.
Still, the plot is a vast improvement from what I witnessed in the previous story, where characters made nonsense decisions for nonsense reasons, assuming a reason was offered at all. The only weird moment in the story for me was Discord when he speaks to the CMC about “helping others” and, when they shut down his ideas once or twice, just leaves them like they’re not worth his time. It didn’t feel very… “Discord”. But it was only one moment in a story that, overall, wasn’t that bad.
If you can stomach the writing, that is.
Bookshelf: Needs Work
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Equestria Chronicles: Prelude — Needs Work
The Bounce Test
24,034 Words
Estee failed to provide cover art.
Sequel to Post Negative Comments Only
Every day, Flash Sentry wakes up expecting to be fired. Every night, he goes to bed expecting to be fired tomorrow. He is a living disaster area, everypony knows it, and he is confident that when Shining Armor finally has enough he’ll be sent packing as should have happened years ago. But today something unusual is about to happen. Today, Flash Sentry is going to talk to Iron Will.
This is a sequel only in the sense that it is set after Post Negative Comments Only. In terms of what is happening, it is an almost entirely unrelated story. It follows Flash Sentry, a guard who has been sent all around the world on postings that he invariably gets transferred out of when his very presence causes a disaster. The Crystal Empire is the only one left. Once he fucks this one up, he knows he’s out for good. Shining Armor has been trying very hard to be patient with him, but there are limits.
Along with this is a subplot (which looks like the main plot at first) where one of Sombra’s hidden tunnels is discovered and needs to be checked for dangerous magic. The tunnel is protected by some unknown spell that no unicorn seems capable of analyzing. But Iron Will is part of the local government (long story (22,692 words, to be exact)), and he has a theory that the defensive spells only work on ponies.
It’s all a little complicated to explain, the story seeming to move in tangents and unrelated events. But it’s actually all carefully connected, which becomes apparent at the end. What we really have here is a mystery, one centered around Flash and why disasters are constantly happening around him. I figured it out in Chapter 3, but it was still delightful to see Iron Will confirm it in the finale. It’s a delightful interpretation of Flash’s cutie mark IMHCSO.
There’s only one thing I’d call a catch with this story, and that’s the perspective. Flash is a very depressed and unhappy pony, and who can blame him? But because we’re reading everything from his perspective, the entire story takes on this constant sense of depression and self-criticism. People looking for a more… “upbeat” narrative might have trouble getting through it.
But ignoring that, I thoroughly approve of this one. I admit I liked the previous story more for its overall tone, but this one is great regardless. The events do rely on you “getting” the background of the setting, meaning it’s best to have read Post Negative Comments Only. Considering how good that story is, that’s hardly what I’d call a negative.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Five Hundred Little Murders — WHYRTY?
Donuts Not Of This World — WHYRTY?
Pinkie Pie vs. The Soufflé — WHYRTY?
Pony Up A Tree — Pretty Good
Bitter/Sweet — Pretty Good
Morningstar
1,000 Words
By Reviewfilly
Requested by LH45
When Luna is not there to protect her, Celestia dreams of fire.
Here we get to watch as Celestia has a nightmare about the kind of ruler she could be. Which is to say, Daybreaker. At its simplest, the dreams are her fantasizing about what ruling Equestria would be like if she could just cut through the red tape and burn the little shits making it so hard to maintain a peaceful rule.
Reviewfilly uses brief but vivid descriptions to make it seem as though there’s a lot more to this story than there is. In terms of letting us get into Celestia’s head and feel her combined terror and temptation, it works quite well.
Brief, but makes good use of its very limited wordcount.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Rainbow Dash never understood how good it could be to become a mother. Not until she became one herself.
She also never understood what it meant to feel loss.
This is, in a sense, a story about motherhood. It is set in the same AU as Like Mother, Like Daughter, a world where Princess Twilight Sparkle is spearheading an age of rapid technological modernity in Equestria both through her own genius and reverse-engineering the technology that already exists in the mirror portal. Ponyville is becoming a burgeoning metropolis, cars and airplanes are a common thing now, and Twilight is on the verge of creating an automated weather control system (which means traditional pegasi jobs are going bye-bye).
Set several years after the events of the show (up to the end of Season 4, that is), the story stars a middle-aged Rainbow Dash whose days of Wonderbolting are over thanks to a stunt performance gone wrong. We start with a brief description of how Soarin courted and, through a lot of stubborn effort, eventually won Rainbow over, as well as the birth of their first son, Prism.
There’s a lot going on with this story from then on, and it all centers around Rainbow. Her love of being a mother and the fears and struggles that come with it. That’s a gross oversimplification, but to describe things in detail would be too spoilery. I would point to the tragedy tag as a hint, but I would also note that the specific tragedy is twofold and not as obvious as you might think. One hits midway through the story and is quite the gut punch, even for a guy who can’t actually face the same problems in the same way. Then the story ends on a second gut-punch, one that isn’t quite as heart-wrenching but still leaves Rainbow reeling.
Alongside these elements, we also get to learn more about what the other Mane Six are doing, some directly and others by word-of-mouth. Applejack and Pinkie’s ever-growing family, Fluttershy and her weird relationship with Discord (by Rainbow’s perception, that is), Rarity’s utter failing as a mother, and Twilight having the joy of two studs to help make up for the downsides of being an alicorn. Really, these were among my favorite parts.
But for the most part, this is a heavy story about the unique challenges Rainbow faces in her efforts to have children, both pre-and post-birth, with attention paid to racial differences among the three pony tribes and Rainbow’s particular physiology (read: small and aerodynamic does not make for comfortable pregnancies). It would be tempting to call this a sadfic, because it absolutely has elements of that, but it’s not entirely a downer.
A surprisingly complex story given its wordcount, covering a lot of topics without ever feeling rushed. Great character work, effective pacing, and intensely emotional challenges combine to make one of Koren’s better reads. I’m looking forward to what the sequel has to offer.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Star Overhead — WHYRTY?
The Princess of Taxes — WHYRTY?
The Story of a Forgotten Prince — Pretty Good
Bionic Titan: A New Dawn — Worth It
Ground Control to Major Twi — Needs Work
Level with Me
1,005 Words
By Sage of the Leaf
Rainbow is at Fluttershy’s, the latter helping the former practice her math (the most evilest evil that ever did evil). Every time Fluttershy moves to a different room or is otherwise distracted, the war with Angel Bunny continues, usually in the form of Rainbow effortlessly dodging a rabbit-flung projectile. Just when the two girls are set to head out, however, Rainbow pauses the little feud to ask Angel a very important question.
A very simple story with a very simple purpose. Yes, the underlying aspect is EG FlutterDash, but the real purpose of the story is the interaction between Dash and Angel. She wants to know if she has a chance with her crush. Angel Bunny theoretically can judge that. The trick is getting the little rascal to answer at all.
Interestingly, I don’t think the Angel we see in EG has ever shown an ability to communicate with people in the same way the Angel in Equestria does with his Fluttershy. But there is clearly a capacity for communication with animals in general, as we see assorted animals reacting and communicating with Fluttershy in ways they wouldn’t do unless they did have a basic understanding of human concepts. It just strikes me as odd that we’ve never seen EG Angel specifically being, y’know, Angel Bunny. Which is exactly what we see with this story. How much that throws you off will likely depend upon how much you pay attention to/care about the show’s details, I suppose.
Simple story is simple. It’s short and doesn’t do much, but it’ll probably appeal to FlutterDash fans, particularly those who want to see Rainbow struggling with figuring out what to do about her crush. Or Rainbow and Angel being arch-rivals, I suppose. I found nothing wrong with the story at all, so jump in if you feel like viewing a one-sided crush with a hint of silly.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Care and Love, Always — Needs Work
The Fallacy Of Epiphany
4,679 Words
By RazgrizS57
Princess Twilight Sparkle, being the ever-dutiful student, receives a letter asking her to visit Celestia alone and comes running. But there’s no disaster. No danger, no problem, no lesson. There’s only a book.
This is, in a sense, the “final lesson” Celestia has for Twilight. She introduces her “former” student to the first book ever created, a book that will answer any question given to it. Twilight, as you can imagine, has a great many questions. But this isn’t a story about the book or the questions Twilight might have for it. This is a story about Twilight and Celestia.
It can seem simple on its face, and it is, but it’s also not. I think Razgriz approached this one wonderfully. They know when to Tell. They know when to Show. They know when the dialogue has done enough and the atmosphere can finish the job. They know how to describe the world properly so that the atmosphere can do its job. It is, on the whole, a pleasant read about… well, about smelling the roses, I suppose.
Alas, it is not technically flawless. Razgriz has a problem with omitting key words. It happens often, it’s egregious when it does, and it’ll snap you right out of what was otherwise an interesting moment. This is the only serious problem with the entire story, but it felt like a big one.
Other than that? I loved this, particularly from the perspective of a writer. But people with an interest in Twilight and/or Celestia, and particularly TwiLestia friendshipping, will undoubtedly get a lot out of this.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Only One in Color — WHYRTY?
Sylphidine — Pretty Good
Façade — Worth It
Railroad Seven-Three
28,819 Words
By Defoloce
There is a desperate, constant conflict on Earth. The Human Liberation Front is full of vicious pony-hating people who will do whatever they can to kill newfoals and those trying to get them to the barrier. The ponies of the Ponification for Earth’s Rebirth movement are doing everything in their power to transform humans into ponies, whether they want it or not. In this post-apocalyptic world of dead cities and constant struggle, the Railroad works tirelessly to bring ponies back to Equestria safe and sound.
In case it wasn’t obvious by that summary, this is a Conversion Bureau story. For those of you unaware, the Conversion Bureau is an old concept that has, since its inception as an incomplete story about humans being evil and ponies being good, been wildly altered and adapted by future authors to feature elements and themes unintended by it creator, with several variants. Universal to all variants is that the ponies have devised a way to convert humans into ponies, usually by means of a potion. Such converted humans are referred to as “newfoals”. This conversion isn’t just physical; it also wipes away many human traits in the process, making the converted “newfoals” less independent, entirely nonviolent, and reduces or eliminates any antisocial tendencies. Naturally, not all humans consider this a particularly ethical practice.
This story operates under the “Conversion Barrier” version of the CB concept: a magical barrier is spreading across Earth at a gradual pace. It will kill any humans that come near, but ponies passing through it will find themselves in Equestria. Eventually it will consume all of Earth and humanity will effectively become extinct. It is implied in this instance that ponies did not create the barrier this time, or if they did it wasn’t on purpose, which is an unusual take if true.
The story also appears to operate under the “resource apocalypse” scenario many CB stories have, i.e. that Earth’s natural resources have been depleted and humanity has been in a constant state of conflict as a result. This has been alluded to, but I’m not sure if it’s actually because resources have dwindled or more a matter of the vast majority of humans having been killed or ponified by this time, so the infrastructure just isn’t there.
Anyway, the story focuses on three ponies – one a natural-born Equestrian and two newfoals – who have been selected to travel with a three-person Railroad team from Washington D.C. to the barrier on the coast, a journey of roughly 100 miles.To clarify, the “Railroad” is more of the “secret group of people working collaboratively to get refugees from one point to another” concept, rather than an actual railroad with a train and the like.
While getting our three ponies to the barrier is the surface goal, the story covers a lot in regards to Defoloce’s own take on the CB concept. This includes Celestia and Luna being genuine gods – up to and including omnipotence and omnipresence. There’s even this constantly hinted-at idea that if humans accept Celestia and Luna as their gods they will literally become ponies after death and live happily in Equestria, so the story appears to be equating Equestria to a literal heaven. It’s a very unusual take, but a fascinating one from a worldbuilding perspective. Also explored, if only barely, are the HLR and the PER, both of whom our not-so-merry band come across.
The final aspect explored, and perhaps the most significant regarding the story’s themes, is that in this AU of the AU the last holdouts against ponification are the soldiers of Earth’s old nations. They know that ponies don’t do violence in any way, and thus are convinced that Equestria would never accept them. In some ways Railroad Seven-Three exists to explore this particular aspect.
I enjoyed the story. Like all the better iterations of the CB concept, it is more character-focused than anything else. It combines a certain tragedy with a faith-based hope that the tragedies serve a purpose, which is itself unusual for CB stories. It seems to reject the general misanthropy that originated and often pervades the AU, yet doesn’t abandon it entirely, using it as a tool to tell its story rather than making it the focus of the story itself.
This is a story I would recommend to anyone familiar with the concept of the Conversion Bureau and who would like to see a somewhat different take to its overarching concept. While it still has certain aspects of human tragedy that are inescapable with the AU, it felt different to me from the usual, and that alone makes it worth bringing up.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
The Six Deeds of Harmony — WHYRTY?
Frame of Reference
3,175 Words
By Minds Eye
Filly Twilight hates art class. That should be impossible: Twilight loves learning and any class Celestia assigns to her. Except art class. Here she is, trying to draw a cat, and she just can’t do it. Celestia might provide a solution. Unintentionally, mind you, but a solution nonetheless.
It’s got filly Twilight doing filly Twilight things. Do you really need me to sell this to you?
The idea here is simple and hinges on the concept of Twilight having absolutely zero artistic talent. While it’s never outright stated, the implication I get is that Twilight expects there to be a “right” way to draw something and if she can’t do that immediately then she can’t do it period. A cat looks like a cat, and her cats look like cactuses. Her ultimate solution involves thinking outside the box – or in this case, the canvas – with results that are just too much fun to stop once the process has begun.
The caveat being that her canvas is unwitting.
If you like cute and/or silly stories about filly Twilight, you can’t go wrong with this.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Gentle Persuasion — Pretty Good
Just an Old Fool — Pretty Good
Fallout: Equestria
620,295 Words
By Kkat
Alternative Title: The Book of Littlepip
Because you just can’t beat the original.
Littlepip has what is easily the most boring life a stable pony could have: PipBuck repair technician. Since PipBucks never really need repairs, she never has anything to do. But then Stable Two’s premier idol and musician, Velvet Remedy, comes along to ask Littlepip for help. How could she possibly refuse the mare of her dreams? If only Littlepip knew where this simple request would lead…
I first reviewed this story waaaaay back in 2016. I loved it and rated it accordingly. But 2016 was a long time ago, and I’ve read a lot of Fo:E fanfiction since then. When you go through so many stories set in the same universe, it can get difficult to recall which elements are from the original. And so I decided, as a personal project, to re-read and re-review the story. Now that I have?
I like it even more.
For those of you who haven’t had the pleasure: Fallout: Equestria is a thematic crossover with the Fallout video game series, which at the time was only up to Fallout: New Vegas. It isn’t set in the Fallout universe, does not feature any Fallout characters, and requires no direct knowledge of the games. Instead it tells its own story set in an AU Equestria 200+ years after the events of the show (bearing in mind that at the time of writing the show was only up to Season 3 and this does not consider Magical Mystery Cure to be canon). Sometime shortly after the show Equestria became inundated in war against the Zebras. This eventually led to the development of Megaspells – the Equestrian version of nuclear bombs – which were subsequently used by both sides to create a global apocalypse. The survivors have been struggling to survive in the… wait for it… Fallout ever since.
The story follows the adventures of Littlepip, a repair pony who lives in Stable Two. The Stables are underground bunkers designed to help ponies survive in isolation in the event of the apocalypse. Littlepip is tricked by Velvet Remedy into helping her leave Stable Two and explore the wasteland. Littlepip, with stars in her eyes and hopes of impressing her crush, soon makes her own way out of the Stable in hopes of “rescuing” Velvet and bringing her back.
She is completely unprepared for what the wasteland has to offer her. Mutated creatures, hyperviolent raiders with gore fetishes, scheming warlords, pockets of deadly radiation, slavers, the list goes on and on. But Littlepip is a special pony. A capable pony, more so than even she is aware. And she can’t resist the urge to help, to make things better, and to give all she’s got (and then some) for the sake of slim hopes.
The result is a powerful, character-driven story that covers a wide range of topics. The limits of kindness, the methods vs. the results, the value of both life and death, the values and dangers of faith, seeking one’s purpose but not being a slave to it, self-redemption, self-forgiveness, dealing with causes rather than effects, and above all else the absolute need to hold on to hope – and I’m sure I’ve forgotten a few. Needless to say, things get deep. Helping Littlepip through it all is a colorful and ever-expanding cast of characters, from her closest companions to the distant side characters.
I think recalling those side-characters helped me a lot with this read-through. The first time I read the story, I kept forgetting who different characters were because they’d been gone for a while and I hadn’t expected them to return. This time when a character shows up, I remembered who they were, what they did, and how their past actions relate to what Littlepip is doing now. Kkat isn’t creating a bunch of random characters just for the sake of having them. Everyone plays a role, even if only a minor one, and it pays to remember that everyone is important to someone.
We’ve got a ghoulified Ditzy Doo: immortal, mute, cute as ever despite the squishiness, and a surprisingly important pony from start to finish. Gawd the griffon, leader of the Talons who is rough around the edges but as fair as fair can be. Spike, fully grown and dealing with a huge responsibility as unintentionally left to him by the long-dead Twilight Sparkle. The Goddess, a supposedly almighty being created from taint and the hideous merging of minds. Strawberry Lemonade, the young and eager Steel Ranger who might just have a crush on a certain elder. Homage, assistant DJ who makes sure everypony knows exactly what is going on in the Equestrian Wasteland (“Bringing you the truth, no matter how much it hurts.”) And so on and so forth, this list barely scratches the surface.
But then we get Littlepip’s actual, constant followers. She’s surrounded by a team of loyal friends who each have their own personal struggles, quests, and motivations in the wasteland. Velvet Remedy, the headstrong healer and singer who is determined to save every hurt soul she meets, even her enemies. Calamity, the sharpshooting pegasus mechanic with a heart of gold and an obsessive kleptomania *cough* a scavenging hobby. Xenith, a former zebra slave, alchemist, martial artist, and traumatized mother with a dread of self-responsibility. Steelhooves, the ever-practical Steel Ranger with a vengeful streak and forever pining for his dead lover. And let us not forget Pyrelight the balefire phoenix, an ever-loyal and considerate (albeit irradiated) companion.
Every character grows. They each evolve. They discover more about themselves and each other. Which brings me to the next great things: it’s all interconnected. It’s honestly impressive how Kkat was able to take so many different threads and tie them together into a whole that not only makes sense but fits together thematically as well. No chapter is unimportant. Very few things brought up in the early chapters won’t have an impact in the later ones. It’s a remarkably complete story, especially considering the 600,000+ wordcount. Add to that a world that feels fully fleshed out and lived in. There are competing cultures, political divides, warring factions, and all with a fully realized history.
Now, I said that you don’t need to know anything about the Fallout games to understand what is happening here. And that’s certainly true, considering I knew next to nothing about them the first time I read this story. But today I’m not so ignorant. I’ve played Fallout 3 and Fallout 4. I’ve explored the lore indirectly too, watching explainer and theory videos, reading articles, finding out more about things I only knew at surface value from the games. Which leads to the next element of praise: Kkat did an incredible job making this story as an homage to Fallout lore.
Almost everything in the story has a link to the games. Taint for FEV, the Wasteland Survival Guide, alicorns for super mutants, hellhounds for deathclaws, Pipbucks for Pipboys, DJ Pon-3 for Three Dog, Stable Mare statuettes for Vault Boy statuettes. There are correlating companies, correlating villains, correlating heroes, correlating towns.
Even some gameplay elements are incorporated. Drug use that leads to addiction and the need to rehabilitate (one of Littlepip’s milestone personal battles). A map that (somehow) auto-updates to tell you locations you’ve found. SATS for combat assistance. Hints at the S.P.E.C.I.A.L. stat attributes system. Hell, there’s even a sort of joke about how these characters can somehow carry tons of junk and weapons without being crushed under the combined weight.
Point is, while Kkat created a completely different story, the sheer amount of Fallout elements – from lore to gameplay mechanics – paid tribute in this story without breaking the immersion or requiring readers to know it to follow along is amazing. Make no mistake, Kkat knows Fallout. This won’t mean anything to the people who don’t, but if you do then it will be hard not to notice and appreciate the thoroughness of it. It can be a bit of a double-edged sword at times – “How is she holding all those guns and still able to use any of them?” – but as long as you can roll with it I feel the good aspects vastly outweigh the bad.
There are some who in the past have called this story too dark to handle. And… I get that. I feel they’re missing the point of all of it, but I can at least agree that this story is at times extremely dark. Think of every possible sin a character can commit and I assure you it will, at the very least, be mentioned somewhere in there. Ponies will be shot, burned, mind-controlled, brain-fried, brutalized, raped, extorted, indoctrinated, bribed, murdered, slandered, enslaved, you name it. There are no punches pulled and Kkat hits the ball running. Which makes sense, because the wasteland is a cruel place and Littlepip had to learn and adapt quickly if she was to have even the shadow of a chance.
And yet at the core of the story is the theme: there is always hope. That things will get better. That good will prevail. That ‘evil’ is not a pony’s natural state. That the glorious, happy past of sunshine and rainbows may, with effort and the work of good ponies, return to Equestria.
I could keep going, but if I talked about everything I wanted to I think this review alone would be longer than all the other ones on this blog combined. So instead I’ll sum up with this: Fallout: Equestria is everything that and more than I remembered, and it is not the least bit surprising that it spawned so many fanfictions trying to capitalize on what Kkat started. It is unquestionably worthy of all the praise that has been heaped upon it over the years and now I want a physical copy. I have a shirt with the Lightbringer’s face on it hanging on my wall and I am all the prouder to have it now that I’ve had the chance to relive Littlepip’s epic journey a second time. It’s deep, well-written, complex, dark, at times fun, perfectly paced, character-driven, thoroughly researched, and all-in-all an amazing adventure.
If I ever get my hands on a physical copy, it is going in a place of honor next to Background Pony.
Bookshelf: Why Haven’t You Read These Yet?
(An aside: I’d also like to take this opportunity to applaud Somber for the work they did on Fallout: Equestria - Project Horizons. Now that I’ve re-read the original I have a much greater appreciation for just how much of that story was created using the building blocks of this one.)
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Fallout: Equestria — WHYRTY?
Origin Story — WHYRTY?
Prey — WHYRTY?
Stories for Next Time:
Do Your Research by Moproblems Moharmoney
The Lady Killer Killers by SwordTune
Twilight Sparkle Vs. The Equestrian Cutie Mark Constellation Registry by Estee
Seneschal by Kris Overstreet
Long-Distance by Bicyclette
Winter Bells by Pen Stroke
The Jump by Glimglam
A&E: The Case of the Obsessive Compulsive Disorderer by Doccular42
Fallout: Equestria - Echoes of the Ministries by Banjo64
Dawn by Arcelia
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Ooh, you don't go to the cinema in donkey's years, and then the first film you do see there again is so good you return for a repeat round! Hyped me even more for seeing it next week here.
It's been long enough since I've seen it that I only remember the idea of how he's beaten, not the cinema flow of how it played out. It seemed fine to me, reflecting the metaphor of it only being a band-aid solution, much like the aftermath of the nuclear disaster Japan faced just a few years prior. But I'll hold full judgement until rewatch to see if the onscreen depiction of how he's subdued plays out as silly as I've seen people cite in more recent years.
Heh, for a moment I read that as "reviewing schedule" and wildly thought it was like when you did three review weeks every month. Except adding that to your current thing would more mean only one a month! What a strange initial read on my part.
I suppose someday, eventually, I will read Fallout: Equestria. I can hardly ignore that, unlike every other long classic that's had mixed retrospective reception, this one continues to get acclaimed to the hills. But it's unlikely to happen unless I stop reviewing, because my schedule just cannot accommodate a story of that length unless I took over a year to read the bloody thing.
Still, I am glad to see you praising all those elements of it, even if I'd heard most of them in passing before, so little of it was new.
Have a good break off and see you in the new year!
I gave Fallout Equestria a second glance after this glowing review, and still saw something extremely derivative.
I suppose it means that I appreciate the passion in the review, even if I do not understand the love.
The quintessential master of 'good bad writing' in my mind is jakkid166. If you ever want a storm of laughs, check out basically anything he's written.
5759050
It bounced off of me as well, reading like a transcript of someone playing Fallout and not a story. I found Project Horizons to be far better.
Railroad was really good, as I recall :D
and wow, imagine reading FoE twice c_c how do you get anything else done lol
I've read "The Fallacy of Epiphany," and while I remember liking it. it's been so long that I don't remember anything about it. Even though I apparently left a comment on it saying what I liked about it, that doesn't ring a bell.
In my mind, there are two ways to write badly well. The first is to have enough of a reputation that your readers know what you're capable of and so will assume if you write something terrible, it's on purpose. The second is similar, to somehow broadcast to the reader that you're doing it on purpose. so that ones unfamiliar with you still get it. Both revolve around making sure the reader knows that you know what you're doing. It's a bit of a black art, but it can be done.
Too real. But at the same time, I think the only real way to save this country is to fill it with children and break the corporate structure, which is a very, very long process. But that's like saying I know a damn thing about the politicians here, and other than the fact that I see them with megaphones on street corners every now and again, I really don't.
I'm in the same boat with the games keeping me up lately. My terminal TFT addiction has returned, and pokemon dropped a DLC yesterday which left me scrambling to reach a good stopping point this morning before work. It is a struggle.
I'm glad you liked Grounded, I go back and reread it every now and again as it is one of my personal favorites. I hope you enjoyed Ghosting too.
Perhaps, over the break, I'll finally go back and read FoE, if only because I ought to. I spent a lot of damn money on my copy, and it's been sitting on a shelf since I bought it in 2019, only ever opened to look at the few illustrations inside.
I think one of the key things that kept FoE from falling into grimdark territory was the sense of hope. Little Pip almost never stops striving for the hope of a better tomorrow. Some of the spin-offs go more for the ""action/adventure aspects"" at the expense of this, or growth, purpose, the character that made FoE work.
I need to find a way to watch Minus One. It hasn't come out in cinemas here yet.
5759045
There are things I didn't notice but caught on the second watch as well. For example, the way they attempt to fight Godzilla near the end was inspired by events early in the movie; it's not something they openly state, so you have to realize it for yourself. There's also this scene near the end where Godzilla is pissed and preparing to use his atomic breath. I was too focused on the events to pay close attention the first time, but on the second watch I was paying closer attention to Godzilla and... holy crap, that was easily the most frightening look he's ever had.
I didn't consider that, but it does make sense. Doesn't make it any less silly. It's like, they can hit him with all these huge weapons and not even slow him down, but slam a couple trains into his legs and suddenly he's down and needs a moment to catch his breath?
Or you could read small amounts of it daily while reading other material on the side. Yeah, it'll take you a long time, but you'd still be posting reviews.
5759050
Isn't everything today derivative? "No such thing as an original thought" and all that.
But really, if you tried it after reading this and gave up on it within a couple hours (assuming you started as soon as the review posted), how much of it did you read? Three, maybe four chapters? This isn't the kind of story that's going to launch into its themes and build up its characters in an hour or two of reading. It doesn't sound like you really gave it a chance.
5759127
You’re really building him up to be a force of nature that is pure evil and absolutely terrifying, you know that? Not that I doubt you, but it’s a hell of a set of expectations to bring to any movie.
Oh is that what bothered people? Now you see what I meant by forgetting the specifics – beyond the end result of how he was incapacitated, it was kind of a blur.
Not untrue, though even apart from all the other things outside of reading fanfic on my plate that often takes priority (including finally getting going on writing the thing I’ve been working on for ages), there are other long-long fics I’d rather read gradually over time ahead of F:E. Going back to The Silver Standard again, at a minimum.
5759058
I can't say I've ever wanted to read one of jakkid's stories, just because they look so dumb. I'm generally not a fan of dumb stories. Still, maybe someday; don't knock it 'til you try it, right?
5759059
It can feel that way for the first few chapters, but after a while it starts turning into something very different. The gameplay elements are still there throughout in some small degree, but the story becomes so interesting that it's easy to stop noticing.
5759065
By only reading 10,000 words of a single big story a day. So yeah, it took me 62 days to get through Fo:E. Which is nothing compared to, say, Prey and a Lamb, which took 134 days.
5759130
I have no idea what bothers other people, I just know it bothered me. I'm watching them roll right up to him and pour chemicals in his mouth and he's just lying there, letting them do it. You can't honestly expect me to believe that after shaking off a bunker buster to the back like it's nothing he's really going to lay there stunned for several minutes because of something so relatively inconsequential.
I scoff at you! What could possibly be more important than the adventures of—
...this is acceptable.
5759074
This is closer to my whole "know how to write correctly before you can attempt to write poorly" statement. An alternative is to write a story that is generally well-written except for in key moments or elements where writing "poorly" accentuates things. For example, if so much of the story is generally flawless save for a very specific error that only occurs when a particular character is present), that could be an author's means of signalling something to readers about that character.
5759089
I'm pretty sure they want to fix the former. The latter, eh...
I've been playing more games than I should be pretty much all year. It's easily the primary hurdle to get over regarding writing. But there are also other things I've thought about doing and just never get started on because of the siren's call. Like taking time to learn how to build my own website, for example.
You spent the money necessary to acquire that behemoth before having actually read it? Dude.
5759098
I agree. A lot of different authors have tried their hands at it without really getting the thing that made Littlepip such a compelling protagonist in the first place. Or maybe they did but simply couldn't capture the same fire that Kkat did.
5759113
I spoke to a friend in eastern Europe who told me he couldn't find evidence it was going to be released in theaters at all where he was. Which is a shame.
5759141
Supposedly, it released on the 5th, but it's not in the only cinema that's even remotely nearby. So, I guess I gotta wait. Or find on the Seven Seas.
5759140
You ask:
Why haven't I read Fallout: Equestria before? And I answer that I've tried. Three times. Judging by the little check marks when I look at the story's table of contents here in FimFiction, I got through chapter 13 the last time before I quit, and that was when I decided that this story was definitely Not For Me.
The first time I tried was back when the story was in Google Docs before I'd ever heard of Fimfiction, and I stopped then before I'd finished that little opening/prologue/introduction chapter because I couldn't suspend my disbelief that something like this could happen in Equestria.
The second time was after reading yet another recommendation from author who's opinion I trust—it was either Chris when he was still doing One Man's Pony Ramblings or Present Perfect here—and that time, what threw me out was the overall darkness and violence as well as the "side quest" nature of the story's structure. That sort of thing might work in a video game, but it always makes me grind me teeth when I run across it in written fiction.
What kicked me out the third and final time was my inability to detect any character in Littlepip at all. I look at her, and all I see is the blankness of the main character in a first-person shooter. She can't have any character of her own or else she stops being an "audience insert," stops mirroring the qualities the majority of Fo:E's readers might be expected to have.
It's been a couple years since my last attempt to read the story, but here's what I recall. She's in a dead-end job where she's smarter and more capable than her boss—exactly the self-image of so many of us here on FimFiction. She's never seen a gun before, but as soon as she picks one up, she knows how to use it—exactly like so many of us imagine it'll be if we're ever thrown into an emergency situation. She flies into these sudden rages then calms down just as suddenly—exactly the way so many of us who were regularly beaten up in high school always said, "One day, they're gonna push me too far, and then I'm gonna show 'em what I can really do!"
So yeah, definitely Not For Me...
Mike
5759196
You not liking Littlepip's character is fair enough, but just because you don't like it does not mean she has no character.
If anything, you're reasoning is something that makes me like Kkat's approach even more, because it sounds like he considered even the nature of the main character of Fo:E in his efforts to make the story into a proper homage of the games. Given how many people consider Littlepip to be one of the fandom's more relatable, poignant, and beloved OCs, I'd say that's a good thing.
5759200
That's a fair point:
It's more that it emphasizes how much the story Isn't For Me rather than showing that there's anything wrong with the story. I don't like shrimp, for instance, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them. Except how icky they are...
Mike
Littlepip is the worst and most boring popular OC of the entire fandom. She is not only boring, but also a hypocrite who has no problems murdering helpless alicorns but doesn't want to attack slavers or enclave soldiers because it would "stretch self-defence", and the same goes for her friends.