• Member Since 18th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

Minds Eye


Are you not entertained?

E

Rumble has a special gift for Scootaloo's birthday. Now he just has to tell her about it.

Edited by Noble Thought

Cover art: Child's Love by IslaMilenaria

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 81 )

Really well done and enjoyable to read.

Really nice ^^

This was a fun read with a good message. Glad to see it come out.

This was nice, I especially love how Thunderlane kept nudging Rumble to get out there and say something to Scootaloo. It's always hard to decide how to best approach someone you love, when you don't know if they even feel the same way.

6883164
Indeed. I put some personal experiences in this story, so Rumble's reaction were pretty simple to write down. Glad you liked it!

This is so cute! AUGH! XD

totally believable
and
very enjoyable read

Baby steps? Even the Cake Twins saw it coming.

Very well done and cute! Rumble and Scoots are the best foals.

Ah, the childish innocence and nervousness, and the misunderstandings that come from it. Not to mention trying to make the best of a bad situation. Kudos for a cute story. I especially liked Cloudchaser adding her two bits for poor little Rumble. That was a nice touch.

6883565
Both objectives met, then. Good to hear.

6883548
6884124
Thanks!

6884153
If you're looking for dating advice, what better place to look than the two people close to you that are dating? Glad you enjoyed it!

6883925
The Cake Twins see all.

Rumble is really adorable! And Thunderlane is a good bro hah~ :3

She was only in there briefly, but I really enjoyed Pinkie in this one.

6884473
Yep! That was a fun dynamic to work with.

6884522
Thanks! Good to know I can nail down a character no matter how small their role is.

That is the best Rumbleloo picture ever.

6884629 Love it!!! That's all I can say. :)

My little Rumbloo, Friendzone is magic
Gosh darn, this was funny. I choked on an apple from laughter :derpytongue2:

6884656
No doubt.

6884708
Attempted manslaughter achievement unlocked!

Aaaaw my god, this kind of story is the exact reason why I love young shipping ! :rainbowkiss:
The innocence, the hesitation, the awkward dialogue, the furious blushing, and most of all the older smartass who tries to settle everything...
And in my opinion, no other ship represents this better than Rumbloo :yay:

Poor Rumble....

6884851
Happy to be of service!

6884886
I've been there before. Worst sucker punch I've ever felt.

Members of the awkward crush society unite! :derpytongue2: You'll be able to talk to any girl perfectly fine, however as soon as she comes by: you're a babbling idiot who can't string two words together to save your life.
cdn4.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/adventure-time-stupid.gif

Superbly written and very cute... but man, that ending took the wind out of MY sails. Would personally love to see more, though I can understand the appeal of leaving it where it is.

“—just a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad idea.”

I think I'll move to Yakyakistan...

Very cute, but I caught a few errors— misspellings, missing words, etc. Not a huge deal, but they were noticeable. Still earned an upvote, though. :twilightsmile:

Oh yeah:

terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad

Alexander called. He wants his long-winded adjective back. :rainbowwild:
familyfuntwincities.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Bristol_BadDay_CT1.jpg

6885061
Huzzah! Do we have t-shirts?

6885194
6885195
Not the first time I've heard that about my endings. Thank you both for your thoughts, and giving me something to think about for my next story. Glad I was able to give you enough to enjoy it.

6885216
Probably less lethal creatures there than Australia...

Provided you're perfect for the yaks, of course.

6885318
Could you point some out, please? I'd like to know what I should keep an eye out for next time.

If you're freaking out about asking her so much that you can't even talk to her at all, well, maybe it's a good thing to just get an edge in first by just hanging out, yeah?

6885333 Sure.

“Who do think knocked on your door this morning to make sure this one got to work on time?..."

Who do you think...

“You get me a refill,” Thunderlance said

Thunderlance?

Rumbles’ cheeks flushed.

Apostrophe's in the wrong place.

Scootaloo had her back turned to him, listening to laughing Apple Bloom try to say something.

I... what?

“Yeah! The weather factory pumps them out all the time when their done making clouds..."

they're

Those were the biggest ones I saw. There were some other really minor things I would have suggested, but nothing that took away from the story. Hope that helps. :twilightsmile:

PS: Props for Cyndi Lauper. :yay:

6885573
Fixed them all, and Scootaloo was supposed to be listening to a laughing Apple Bloom try to say something.

Thank you!

6885594 No problem. And yeah, that's what I figured with Apple Bloom, but there were other things I could have seen there, too.

Hahaha! So relatable! I remember my first time asking someone to the winter ball, I had to have a friend come with me because I knew he would say something embarrassing if I didn't interrupt him and ask.

6885720
Ha! Hopefully it helps people laugh at some old memories. Shook my head at my younger self a few times writing it all down.

Yes! Another thunderlane and rumble story has been made. Thanks for writing this. There are not many stories about these brothers. Did you know there is a group dedicated to thunderlane and rumble? If not, now you know.

6886016
Huh. Guess I missed it while it was adding the story to groups. Well, thanks for the info, and I'm happy to provide what you wanted.

Rumble didn’t recognize the synthesized beats that came over the speakers, but Miss Cheerilee certainly did.

my first thought:

6886126
And a splendid thought it is.

“Stop it! Everyone will see!”

Well you've had like three chances to talk to her without anyone seeing, and you blew them all. So, tough tits!

Accuracy to Real World: 100%

Accuracy to Pony World: 100%

Congratulations, you wrote a fic about problems we face in the real world and believably translated it into Equestria!

This is surprisingly difficult, believe it or not.

6886257
Then I shall take pride in my accomplishment. Thanks!

That was exceptionally cute. Super effective!

So I haven't read this but it looks like a cute story, if a couple of comments are anything to go off of...


But all I can think of is this, and it is ruining my possible future enjoyment of the story.
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/cardfight/images/d/dc/Gentle_Persuasion.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150827145148
Damn it fuck memes.

Really good story. Despite the fact that things didn't go as planned Rumble has at least made progress.

6887056
6886818
Thanks!

6886962
:rainbowlaugh: That's... unfortunate. No, there is nothing like that in the story at all.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/8/20/78518.png
Filly Twilight would never forgive me.

Dang it! Even my heart broke from that... Alright Rumble, you did a good job! Good luck on your future endeavors... *Gulp* N-Now it's my turn.

6887688
Ha! Go get her!

Oh, this story is both cute and funny! Rumbaloo FTW! :heart:

pretty sweet and cute read :twilightsmile:

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