• Member Since 18th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Minds Eye


Are you not entertained?

E

Mama never said there would be days like this.

Donut Joe, on his first day running his father's shop by himself, gets hit with a hurricane of tempers and accusations.

A well-connected hurricane of tempers and accusations.

Still, customers are customers, and they deserve the best service he can give.

My entry into the Everfree Northwest 2015 writing contest.

Edited by Noble Thought.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 77 )

I work in customer service. Fast-food to be exact. I can tell from the description that I will so be able to relate to this. Liked and faved! :twilightsmile:

This is utterly adorable. Very well done, Minds.

5768780
And you know your adorable. That means so much coming from you. :derpytongue2:

5768792

Two things:

1. Fak u
2. "your"

:derpytongue2:

5768800
Yep. You're so adorable you know your adorable.

Aww. There needs to be a Donut Joe tag.

5769389
Thanks.

5769032
I was surprised there wasn't. He's had more speaking roles than others.

Get out!” Joe levitated a broom from under the counter and swung it at the little monster’s head. “Out! Now!”

Spike, you are within your legal rights to pull his head out through his anus. Not that he deserves to die for being a violent racist, I'm just sayin'...it'd be self defense.

That is one sweet story....in more ways than one! Great job!

5769777
Thanks!

5769737
Not even sure Twilight could argue that Head-removed-through-rectum=Broom smacking. :rainbowlaugh:

:moustache::twilightblush: Well done

I think for that gem he should have at least hooked them up with a dozen, lol.

5769856
Appreciate it.

5769911
Ha! Just hope Celestia doesn't find out she was left out.

This little masterpiece is criminally underated. Have my fav!

5770647
I will take it! Thanks!

It felt very special to me being the forty-second upvote. Here's hoping that number will double, triple, and more in the coming days

5770912
And ruin perfection? :rainbowlaugh:

Thank you for the sentiment. Glad you enjoyed it.

I could go for a simple glazed donut

Pitch-perfect writing of all three characters if I've ever seen it. Short, sweet, and very well done!

What do you do with the holes?

5771824
Make donut holes.

Or just make more donuts.

Depends on what you're doing.

5771892

Oh. I've eaten those before but never got to eat them with donuts.

I reviewed this story; you can find my review here.

5771280
Can't argue with a classic.

5771320
Thanks!

5771824
Yeah, you just eat them. I remember being confused by that as a kid. "Donut holes? How do you eat the holes? It's a hole."

So, yeah, just something for Joe to shout after an inquisitive Twilight.

This was a nice treat to read, just like a fresh donut. It's one of the fics that makes me hope for a 'heartwarming' tag on the site. This'll probably end up on EQD frontpage soon as well. Thanks for the smile today. I needed it. :twilightsmile:

I quite enjoyed this, especially the explanation for the whole Pony/Donut Joe thing. Thank you for it.

5772690
5772639
You're both quite welcome. I'm glad I did my job. :pinkiehappy:

Now I wish there was a doughnut shop nearby...

5772900
Buy one for me the next you go.

I totally don't own stock in Dunkin' Donuts.

Uh... wait. Spike wants a day off, and is getting a day off, and when Twilight tries to break this agreement she comes after him violently and calls him an ingrate for not being her servant?

And the end result is that Joe encourages him to just... y'know... keep serving her. It's for the best. She "needs" it, and you're not doing anything anyway.

And... Joe's advice, if you compare it to Twilight's existence, comes off as really... almost encouraging Spike to be self-flagellating. Twilight never had to degradingly fetch books for someone who was entirely capable of doing it themselves better than she would. She's not a squire or martial arts master who had to start with a simple degrading task to learn discipline or to have a simple task to strengthen herself before the more complicated ones: she went from fetching things for herself to having a place of honor.

5773288
It was Celestia.

She shook her head. “I asked, but she didn’t answer. She just smiled and asked me if I could do it. And she knows I can’t do it! I know she knows!”

She gave Spike the day off, then gave Twilight a task she couldn't complete without help. Joe figured it out, then helped them do the same. Twilight got her help, and Spike got his appreciation, which is what he wanted. He's never been the type to shy away from hard work, but Twilight had treated him like her servant, which he isn't. He's not her dragon, and she's not his mother. They're partners. Teamwork, like Joe said.

This was excellent.

5773406
I find it hard to believe that this is an equal partnership when it's Twilight's needs to serve Celestia and forward her knowledge that are the primary needs being met because Spike's only need that is met is a verbal thank you, especially when in story he was looking forward to a day off so that he could do something he had wanted to do for a while. That's not what I consider the relationship of partners, but a master-servant relationship: The actions they take go to tangibly benefit the master, and the servant only gets "thanks!" in return, and a denial of being able to do what he wants to do because the master needs him.

It's nice that Spike is getting the appreciation he wants, but it's still not an equal relationship.

Young Twilight and Spike, solving their problems in the donut shop! Love it!:moustache::twilightsmile:

I like this story...

5777321 Though, yeah, you got a point there....

5780583
Yep, another way to look at my writing moving forward.

Glad you still enjoyed it, though.

A touching tale all around. I enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

5768754 Can you tell some stories of bitchy impolite customers? Or have not encountered that many?

5782667 I can sum it up with one little phrase: fast-food customers. :moustache: I only do part-time now. Good thing for that or I'd go insane.

What a pleasant story to look at in the morning.

But I can't help but notice some sand in the gears. Which would probably be the dynamic between the two and Joe's "sagely" advice. I can tell you're trying to express an equal partnership, but it seems like the advice Joe gave was that Spike should just do what Twilight asks of him; even during his time off (:twilightoops:) and relent his hobbies in favor for her plights. I thought that kinda screwed with the dynamic of the equal partnership thing you trying to express.

I know Spike is the kind of guy that doesn't mind doing solids, but the appreciation has to go both ways. I kinda assumed that Joe would also give advice to Twilight to use her manners (please, sorry, and thank you would be good starts:twilightsheepish:) or treat others the way you wanna be treated. There must be some sort of reason why Twilight wouldn't listen to Spike on him having a day off and ended up chasing and tussling with him instead.

Nice work, it's just a few things that needed to be spruced up :twilightsmile:

5784132
Yeah, that's clearly the biggest flaw. I had hoped to show this was the start of Twilight and Spike working together, having Spike say Celestia had him finding books for Twilight, but that's on me. Too many hints, not enough evidence.

Thanks for the feedback.

Great, now I want a donut! :facehoof:

A fine story!

*shatters glass against the floor*

Another!

5806108
Very well. But first...

*walks into pet shop*

I need a horse!

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