• Member Since 24th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 17 minutes ago

Wise Cracker

Just some guy who likes chaos magic, ponies, and Blender. Getting moderately good at vector art in Inkscape and Synfig, learning animation, maybe some web design when he can.



This story is a sequel to Rumble's Big Day

There is nothing wrong with Scootaloo. She just can't fly yet. Rainbow Dash knows this, and continues to work hard to get that filly off the ground.

There is nothing wrong with Rumble. He's just a little uptight about his flight practice. Thunderlane knows this, and keeps trying to teach his brother the fun and exciting aerial manoeuvres of the Wonderbolts.

Thunderlane is convinced Rainbow Dash is going to hurt Scootaloo if she keeps this up.

Rainbow Dash is convinced Rumble is going to hurt himself if Thunderlane keeps this up.

You know what they say: "If you think you can do better than me, do it yourself."

(Former working title: "SOON TO BE PONYGRAD'S FAVORITE FIC")

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 55 )

Thunderlane and Rumble landed with all the quiet grace of ninja deer stalking a predator

This raises more than a few questions...

Spread your body out like a glove!

"Spread it out like a covering for the hands you don't have!"
I kid, I kid. Minotaurs are a thing, after all. I just found that one rather amusing.

he gets regular check-ups, doctor’s appointments to tell him he’s not overdoing it, that he’s healthy, like any- err, ahem, athlete… would, at his age

Hmm. I may be reading too much into it, but that stumble seem suspicious.

In any case, great work in presenting the contrast between Thunderlane and Rainbow Dash's training methods. Seeing how their trainees react to the swap should be fascinating, especially given Rumble's repressed issues with Dash. Getting medical data for Scootaloo will likely prove very helpful... though there is a lot of potential for heartbreak there. And we might even get to see her parents!

As for the title, I definitely see what you're going for. Now that they've worked it harder, it's time to make it better, or at least try to do so. The question is whether their work is ever over.

I've been so excited for the continuation of this series. It's a wonderful read, and I'm already ready to read the next chapter.

Maybe that'll let us know why you keep emphasizing Rumble's more feminin traits.


Oh, the title was a last-minute thing, but it fit so damn well... just wait, you'll see.

Umm, regarding her parents... let me get back to you on that one.

Regarding the gloves, I'm sure we've seen opera gloves at some point, and hey, hoofball players wear gloves, right? It's what they use to catch the ball after the other team kicks one beyond third base and they have to land it in the basket before the broom team comes in. Or something. :derpytongue2:

The stumble is intentional, yes. Ask yourself this: does Rumble qualify as an athlete? He's only nine, after all. How do you describe a kid like that? Gym rat? He's too young to go to a gym. Racer? He doesn't race against anyone. There might be something else going on, to be sure, but at the surface it's not that odd, is it?

Can't really comment on that without spoiling the whole thing, but suffice to say it's going to get a little more obvious in this part. Rumble's actual motivation and character, that's going to start showing in this part, and specifically next chapter. Part three of the series, the Sweetie Belle episode, which I still need to write, is where the whole thing blows up. But there is a reason coming for it in this story, still. It's just not the biggest reason, if that makes any sense.

Well, you managed to comment on the blog before publishing, so it's only fair you get a mention as a working title suggester.

I'm starting to get a hint of what might the issue with Rumble.

This was a good chapter, showing how the different teaching styles affected Rumble and Scootaloo. While Scootaloo benefitted from it (at least learning she was healthy and her magic was fine), Rumble didn't seem to get a lot. He doesn't want to perform, that much is obvious, but its still unclear why. I think Diamond Tiara will likely play a big role in the 3rd story in finding out Rumble's problem.

Wow. Tiara seems flat-out terrified by Rumble. There's definite history there.

Also, the Crusaders are probably on the right track with Rumble's talent, but obviously he doesn't want to hear it. I can't really blame him. Who'd want to hear that something isn't meant to be after dedicating their entire life to it? Never mind that one doesn't become a Wonderbolt until well into adulthood...
(Wait, they found Dinky's cutie mark? Unrelated to the story, I know, but still, Best Filly.)

Ah, the Pinkie cache. For all your convenient equipment needs.

I do have to love how saving the world multiple times (or being personally taught by an alicorn) apparently isn't enough for Spoiled Rich to consider somepony important. I dearly hope Fancy Pants mentions Rarity during the dinner.
Also, this may explain Tiara's terror. She doesn't even want to be tangentially related to somepony upsetting Rumble.

Wonderbolts don’t lie about achievements.

I don't know why, but I have a distinct sense that this will be important.

Congratulations, Rumble. Rainbow Dash noticed you. Now you need to deal with the consequences.
Also, Dash's obliviousness hurt to read. She clearly made no connection whatsoever to the flagbearer tryouts. And it's interesting to note that Rumble keeps saying he wants to be a Wonderbolt stallion. Why the need to emphasize that?

As for Scootaloo... Well, I'm not sure what to think with her. Hopefully that bonus chapter will clear things up. At least things seem to be looking up for her... though "seem" may be the operative word there. :unsuresweetie:

I'm beginning to suspect what's causing Scoot's magic to take so long is related to her ancestry. Supposedly, Fluttershy is a Pegasus with earth pony blood in her, so it may be something similar.
EDIT: IF you don't know what I mean, look up Posie from an earlier Generation.

7116105 The reason for mentioning Wonderbolt stallions is because Rumble is trans, and used to be a filly. There've been a fair number of hints, and that's the only thing that makes sense.

However, it doesn't make perfect sense; there was a pretty sketchy reference in the previous story to something about male anatomy that I'd be disturbed at a 9-year-old human boy knowing, never mind a 9-year-old filly... and in fact the CMC had no idea what Rumble was talking about. Not sure if the author is trying to get across that trans children are much more sexualized than others (which seems impolitic to bring up unless one is trying to argue that transitioning at a young age is unwise, unhealthy, or otherwise less than ideal), or whether that was just a slip.

I am familiar with that line of reasoning, yes, but the thing is: I don't like rehashing old material for no good reason. I've already got a story where her flight problems are stated to be linked to her ancestry, it was a whole bit on pony breeds and everything. People even asked what breed Fluttershy would be in that system (breed would be called silk hen, by the way. Rainbow's a peacock: colourful, strong lungs, loud voice for barking orders, Scootaloo's is called a dodo: small wings, good scouts, very manoeuverable, and fearless by nature).

I had a better idea for this story, one I hadn't used yet (sort of; you can argue it's shown up in an earlier work) and one that would make a more powerful image. It's one of those forehead-slappingly obvious ones, you'll see.

I am not implying nor saying anything about trans kids, actually. At least, not in this story. Part 3, when the whole thing comes to a head, well... you know the old River Song quote, right?

Scootaloo's mom is a mute giraffe.

Well, darn, guess the show finally beat me to it. I'll have to check that episode when I catch up on everything.

Seriously, though, it's left open for a good reason. Still need to write the actual scene, but it's not that relevant to the story. There are several possible reasons no answer came, after all.

Are you Canadian? I ask because American English doesn't usually use "practise."

I like this story and the series it is part of a lot, there is lots of detail going into these character interactions which makes me feel invested in their stories.

I am pretty sure that rumble is transgender, what I am not so sure about however is what gender rumble actually is and what gender they are transitioning / have transitioned to? Is rumble a FtM (Female to Male) or a MtF (Male to Female)? I know this seems like fairly straightforward question with all the Stallion comments, but I am not certain it is that simple.

EDIT: I know obviously you wont provide an exact answer to the question, because of spoilers but it still makes me curious regardless

Do I need to read Rumble's Big Day in order to understand everything that it's in this story?

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger!
One of my favorite songs:pinkiehappy:

No, it should be easy enough to follow. There are some mentions to the other story, and there are things that come back and add value on a second read, but both stories stand on their own. Rumble's Big Day just introduces Rumble as a character in more depth, as well as setting up the idea that Scootaloo needs help flying, but it's only in this story that the lessons take place. Should be no more confusing than watching episodes out of order, really.

I have to say, I find it very interesting that people reached the 'Rumble is trans' conclusion so quickly. The final story will go into detail on it, when Sweetie Belle gets her turn with him. Finishing the outlines on that story today, hopefully. I had a beginning and an end for a while, but the middle is still up in the air, so to speak.

I am far worse than Canadian, good sir or Ma'am or anteater: I am the terror that eats fries throughout the night. I am the speed-bump that stops armies and legislations. I am Poirot Belgian. Specifically, Flemish Belgian (the good kind, nash :raritywink:). I always use 'practise' because I once entered 'practice' as a verb on an English test and was deducted a single point. Had it not been for that, it would have been a perfect score. We learn British English here, is what I'm saying. And that particular instance of it is ingrained in my memory.

I still want to know what Thunderlane learned at Scootaloo's house.

Then I shall repeat: it's coming in a bonus chapter. Along with the family outing chapter I promised for Keep on Truckin' ages ago.

There are several little theories I have, like Rumble maybe being trans or a filly not a colt. But the main issue with Rumble, the issue that Diamond Tiara is aware of, I seriously can't tell. Maybe I'm missing something obvious, but I just cannot tell what the hell is upsetting him so much?

I can't wait for the next chapter so I can have this mystery identified, or at least get closer to having it identified.

I'd like to throw in my two cents towards the whole Rumble issue.

First thing's first, his aspirations: Rumble seems to be obsessed with being a Wonderbolt Stallion. We all know this is important, but the better question is why is it important? What's so special about a Wonderbolt Stallion as opposed to a Wonderbolt Mare, and why would that distinction be important to Rumble?

Well, that's difficult to say, but you've left us a few clues, and I'm going by my conjectures and some guesswork, so if I get it wrong, feel free to correct me. But not until the story's over . That'd be spoilers :rainbowwild:

So, why is being a Stallion is important? Well, let's take a look at Rumble and who he hangs out with prior to this story.

As inferred by the narrator and by other ponies descriptions, Rumble is a Colt, and has all of the trappings associate with being one, a major one being his squeaky voice, an (objectively) non-stallion like trait. He hasn't reached puberty, and hasn't developed the secondary sexual characteristics associated with getting old, the most obvious ones being a deepening of the voice, and a bigger, stronger Stallion body.

But what about the ponies that he hangs out with?

Well, he hangs around his brother, Thunderlane, for one. And what do we know about Thunderlane? For starters, we know that he's a Stallion and a Wonderbolts Reserve, as well as a role-model for his younger brother. Thunderlane helps train and advise Rumble, and is, in general, someone that Rumble looks up to and will probably try to emulate, at least in part.

But there's also Diamond Tiara, and through her, her mother Spoiled Rich. And this is where it gets a bit obscured. There's a lot of things going on between the Rich family and Rumble, but a lot of it isn't said, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to go by my own conjuncture and try to make sense of it.

So, why does Rumble hang around Diamond Tiara? Well, we're told that it's because her mother, Spoiled Rich wants Rumble to chaperone her daughter because she felt that he was important. And that implies a lot. It implies, for example that Rumble is mature, more than a Colt might be. Additionally, it shows Rumble that someone recognizes and validates him. But this poses a few problems, that I'll hopefully get to in a bit.

Before continuing, I think it's important to take another look at Rumble and his previous interactions with The Wonderbolts, and Rainbow Dash. Or the lack of interactions, as it was.

Tornado duty was hard on Rumble, incredibly so. There's a lot of pride, as well as a lot of expectations associated with Tornado Duty. Expectations that you can't rightly expect a Colt to fulfill. And then pride comes up and messes with it even more.

What made it so hard for Rumble was that while he did beyond admirably for a Colt, he was still judged by the standards of a Grown-Up. What should have been praise, was ignored because it was expected of him. Compounded by the fact that his brother was sick and a lack of peers his age means that he also had a lack of moral support. It's quite easy to overlook how someone is feeling, especially if they're younger than you are.

So, what does this mean, and what can we conclude? Well let me tell you what I think it means, and why I think Rumble acts the way he does.

I think that Rumble acts the way he does because he's getting mixed signals. On one hand, everyone praises him for how good a flier he is, and he's given the duty of chaperoning Diamond Tiara. He's expected to be a Stallion more than a Colt, and I think that weighs heavily on him. But on the other hand, very people that he aspires to be completely ignored him. Didn't even give him the time of day or acknowledge him. So, that must mean that being a Colt isn't enough. That he needs to be a Stallion to meet the expectations of others and get acknowledgement that he wants.

But it's more complicated than that. In this chapter we see him rebuking Rainbow's attempts at saying that his performance was great. Conversely, we see Diamond Tiara doing the opposite.

I think this dialogue helps explain why:

You'd be a great example, ponies would cheer for you just like they cheered for me.

Prior to this line, Rumble is cautiously optimistic about Rainbow Dash's approval, but it takes a sudden nose dive after this line, and I think there's a few reasons for that. The first being that he's being told that he's good enough to be like Rainbow Dash, a Wonderbolts Mare. Not Stallion. The second thing is that, to Rumble, Rainbow is more or less saying that his best isn't good enough for a Stallion, but good enough for a Mare. That's not what she means, but that's probably how he's taking it.

And finally, we also have Diamond Tiara. I think she's very important to this story, for a number of reasons. But the biggest one I think is because she actually knows Rumble. She understands his need for approval, and to get better. She knows that he doesn't want to settle good or okay, but The Best. Because that's what Wonderbolt Stallions are, right? The Best. There's more to there relationship, but I think she's trying to protect him because she knows what it's like to be The Best. After all, that's what her mother wants her to be.

So, I know there's some stuff I missed, and that there's more to it than this, but hopefully I got a few things right? I guess we'll see soon!

Well this changes my opinion quite a bit, maybe I am just assuming rumble is transgender, because of his lack of masculine traits and current body build. You do make quite he point about how he is still young and thus hasn't developed quite so much yet.
This could mean that the whole transgender rumble thing, is all a big red herring by the author that is meant to mislead or distract people (I am not accusing the author of anything, it is just a possibility at the moment).

The mystery continues to deepen!


I always use 'practise' because I once entered 'practice' as a verb on an English test and was deducted a single point

So. Very. Harsh.:fluttershyouch:


Oh, don't cry for me, Argentina, Leonzilla. English lessons were mostly fun. When I actually tried, my fellow students stopped bothering to ask the teacher for the corrections to their test: they just asked for my copy and compared.

Don't even get me started on the Finding Nemo thing. That is a hilarious anecdote that needs to be in a fanfic sometime :raritywink: Either that or the 'you are Satan' remark.

7125823 Now I really want to hear about these stories, who knows I might learn some additional English in the process. (God knows I need it)

Do you happen to talk about that in any of your blog posts? :twilightblush:


Magic is finnicky like that. That’s why you don’t call it ‘science’.

Yes, it's not like the same stimuli applied to a certain physiology reliably reproduce the same result, or that Thunderlane tested a number of hypotheses before finding one that solved the problem. :ajbemused:
I don't mean to come off as overly harsh, but when Thunderlane's entire approach thus far has been scientific, not even Best Pony can keep me from raising an eyebrow. Still, seeing Scootaloo in flight definitely put a smile on my face.

Not sure how I feel on how pegasi get airborne. It's certainly interesting from a biological point of view, but it's kind of bizarre how it's very possible for a young pegasus to live too healthily. Still, I do have to agree with the rationale for keeping it from being common knowledge, and I don't say that about a lot.

As for Rumble, I have to admit, I'm scratching my head on this one. 7125343's supposition makes sense, but I'm not fully certain. Definitely looking forward to finding out. I hope that Dash listens to Diamond Tiara before trying to fix the problem. Otherwise, she's more likely to make it worse...

The thing is: if magic is a science, why call it 'magic' at all?

Magic is replicable, yes, but it's not reliable, is what Derpy's getting at. Not 100%. It's also not quantifiable, either, which is another huge problem for using scientific reasoning. But most importantly, it's not something you can dissect. Imagine this conversation:

"I made a fireball with 200 mana!"
-"Did not! It was only 50 mana!"

"Girls, why is the lab on fire again?"

As one, all the fillies pointed to the purple unicorn who'd been minding her own business this entire time.

"Twilight's baby sneezed again, Miss."

Or, hey, while we're at it, look at Star Wars. The Force was a mysterious, non-scientific thing we could only see the effects of, but not fully explain. Then we found out it was a midichlorian score.

I know it's only a small thing, but the original novel I wrote last year kind of goes into detail regarding a world where magic is taught as a science, under the tutelage of an immortal ruler who may or may not be running a totalitarian regime while appearing to have stepped out of office. When you look at stuff like that and compare to Harry Potter and the like, there are a few reasons to consider why you shouldn't teach magic in school at all. But that's neither here nor there.

Bottom line: pony magic can act up for no apparent reason, and as long as science can't answer how it works (because it can probably answer how well it works) it will remain magic and not science.

Or, you know, the Zap Apple trees will turn out to have eyes in their fruits that can see polka dots, and ponies have been smearing tree eye juice on their sandwiches for years, which is why the Tree of Harmony keeps trying to send these ponies into conflict areas as a form of revenge. That's an option, too :raritywink:

Think I shall, actually. Some of my writing is based on college and school experiences, and putting yourself out there seems to be in fashion nowadays, might as well.

:trixieshiftleft: ... I suppose you have a point.
Besides, Fireball is an X spell; you can pay however much mana you want...

Also, with regards to the idea that pegasi can live too healthily: remember the tribal troubles, what the play said about the pegasi. They were freezing and starving. Pegasi were military, no? It's not that hard to think that before the tensions rose, there was some sort of warrior initiation ritual that supposedly gave them the ability of flight, but in reality only did so because of the hunger aspect.

And if they were the military tribe, then knowledge of this ritual would have been considered a military secret. It's also important to note this is related to magical trance and its mechanics: you can't work magic when distracted or worrying. For an animal like a pegasus, the hunger reflex makes the body access its magic to get to food.


I once entered 'practice' as a verb

This is the issue with British English. They have the noun practice and the verb practise for no apparent reason. As screwed up as English is at least American English picks one and sticks with it in this case.

I get it now. Looking over the rest of the story, and the one before it, using the knowledge of why Rumble is upset, there are some good hidden clues in there.

Still, even after Rainbow's pep talk/song, he didn't exactly leap for joy. Even the last line

I guess.

Kind of implies he's just sort of agreeing just to get the issue out of the way and have the others stop butting into it repeatedly. He doesn't seem happy or excited about things, which is what you would expect had it been somepony else, like Scootaloo in his place.

I suspect that in the 3rd story with Sweetie Bell, he might finally boil over here, as Rumble definitely seems at his limits as far as ponies butting into his life to 'help' goes.

And so it all comes together. I was definitely overthinking this. (Of course, so was Rumble.) Definitely an understandable issue. Between the impossible expectations, the broken pedestal, and the apparent insignificance, it's no wonder Rumble felt caught in a no-win situation. And even now, there's the question of whether he's truly internalized the encouragement. Hopefully Sweetie's efforts will do more good than harm. Hopefully. :unsuresweetie:

Also, great work in making a sincere version of "Everyone's a Hero in Their Own Way."

Lol, a bit of a Dr Horrible fan, eh? Good stuff. :twilightsmile:

Both this story and its prequel are well written, have some good and very interesting characterization, and do a great job of building up the tension and internal conflicts of the characters throughout the story. Yet in both cases, I've come away from the stories a bit underwhelmed after reading. I think this occurs because both stories' resolutions rely solely on characters explaining their feelings to each other in dialog. For example, in this story, the main conflict is resolved when Rainbow Dash simply tells Rumble that he's thinking the wrong way about his idols and perfectionism. While this may be a very realistic and health way of dealing with ones problems, it doesn't make for a great story. Rumble in both occasions has lacked agency -- the "resolution" to his conflicts has not depended on any of his own actions or decisions but rather on others coming to him to give him some sort of answer to his problem. Perhaps these criticisms are unfair because you haven't reached the true end of the story, but it has made some of the revelations about Rumble in the final chapters of each story feel very anti-climatic to me.

Nevertheless, I really l line the characters you've created for Rumble, Thunderlane, and he reformed Diamond Tiara, as well as your characterization of the CMC. I am looking forward to reading the final installment of the trilogy.

Yeah, I agree. That's a valid criticism, and I think the reason you'd suspect it's unfair is because that's a criticism of concept, not execution. The concept was 'The CMC get a hard case and need to slowly try and figure things out', with Scootaloo's flight issues as a catalyst. I do this sort of resolution a lot, to the point that it sometimes becomes a cliché of a cliché.

But on the flip side, it also depends on personal taste and perspective. Rumble doesn't get a lot of agency for himself in these stories because that's part of his problem, part of his conflict. It's a defining characteristic: he feels he needs to be perfect, make sacrifices for the sake of improving and for others, and to solve his own issues. He's either successful at that or he's not, and if he is then the story has to end. He's put himself into the role of an example, a helper, forgetting he needs help, too. If that keeps coming back, it requires that sort of set-up. It's kind of like Fluttershy's stage fright or confidence in that regard: we see it get fixed, but then not really, but then she does anyway, but not really, it goes on and on. Rumble's issues aren't resolved at the end of this story, or the previous one. But Apple Bloom's issues are, and so are Scootaloo's. There is some progression for the main characters, but only the CMC ones. From their perspective, Rumble did a good thing. From his own perspective, he didn't do anything.

Another element to it is the Slice of Life tag. It's hard to put a finger on what makes SoL an SoL, but this sort of dialogue-driven resolution, again, tends to pop up a lot, at least for me.

You'll be happy to know, though, that even at the inception of this little trilogy, the third part was always going to be the part where Rumble completely breaks out his shell and just takes charge and takes action, based on his own choice. It's hard to explain without spoiling (especially since it's only one chapter in so far, and only a first draft at that).

So tl;dr: it's a fair remark, it was mostly unavoidable, and the third one will, by design, not have that flaw. It'll probably have a few other ones, though, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

In the meantime, I noticed you're following me now. If you do not like that type of resolution or dialogue-heavy stuff, I would recommend steering away from Flight Camp, Empathy, and Necro-Semantics, because those are extremely heavy in that. 'Grabby' was my other attempt at writing in full episode style, and Berryshine's Crystal Empire Adventure might be to your liking, too, but I don't know how well it fits into the new canon, haven't kept up with that.

Catching up on this since I'm a full story behind.

I'm amused that after all the concern about it last chapter, Scootaloo is perfectly healthy and properly magical by every test Thunderlane performs.

“Yes. I want to be a Wonderbolt stallion,” he repeated.

It's interesting how he keeps saying Wonderbolt stallion specifically.

And there it is again. That's no accident.

One thing I forgot to mention, I appreciate how cooperative that Dash and Thunderlane settled into. For some reason I was expecting them to be butting heads all story long, and while we got some of the that in the first chapter it quickly settled down into something more nuanced.

“Oh, you wanna pull the old ‘magic feather’ trick, huh?”

Heh, so "special food" too help Scootaloo fly as a mental trick?

Too many references to Rumble not dancing, that's got to mean something just like the repeated stallion refrain.

“Hi, Derpy. Err, I kind of need your opinion on something.”


“But I thought I was supposed to eat something special to fly?”

“You did: you ate nothing. You’re hungry now, right?”


“Just pretend the girls are all naked.”

Rumble tilted his head to look at the fillies. “They are all naked, Rainbow Dash.”


Geeze. They should save time and open a Junior Wonderbolts squad just for Rumble.

He sniffled. “The only thing this proves is that I’ll never be a Wonderbolt stallion. Thanks for the help, Rainbow Dash. You can go focus on Scootaloo now, I’m done.”


Well hey, success for Scoots at least.

“Every single pegasus who can fly, at least your age, got their ability of flight after being sick. Seriously sick, to the point that they couldn’t eat solids for a while. Starting to see the pattern here?”

I feel like some of these details should be slightly more documented.

“Oh. So my shots made me artistic and that’s why I couldn’t fly. But then why can’t I sing better?”


Okay, I suppose it can see from the author's note why the hunger thing wouldn't be well documented, but now I'm wondering why it took so long for Thunderlane to diagnose the problem. If he already knew that this was something that every single pegasus ever needed to go through in order to jump start their magic, it seems a little odd that it wouldn't have come up in his internal monologue a lot faster last chapter.

That's the thing, though: it's rare for a kid to grow up and not go through this naturally. There are procedures in place for it, obviously, but it's kept under the radar for the reasons mentioned in the AN.

As for the other stuff, it's a series-wide thing. Running theme, you might say.

It did come up in his internal monologue. She couldn't be perfectly healthy; she must have gotten sick at some point and had her magic unlock. Remember, Featherweight cannot fly either, but he can hover. And he went through it.



He's stubborn as a headless chicken.

About the "Rumble is trans" thing:
I simply assumed he was putting extra emphasis on stallion because he's sick of being mistaken for a girl. After all, he has a squeaky voice.
And the fact that he wants to be a Wonderbolts stallion is because the Wonderbolts seems to be dominated by females. He wants to inspire colts to think they can be Wonderbolts, rather than thinking it's only for fillies.

That was my take on it, anyway. I could be wrong.

“That’s not true. You’re an ace flyer; you can compete,” Rainbow argued.

“With what? Kids who are five years older than me?”

Well, at least for the near future there's probably Scootaloo. Now that she's up in the air she's probably going to turn into a miniature Rainbow Dash.

Oh, so he's a disenchanted fan.

Rainbow let her head hang. “Wind Rider. You were a Wind Rider fan. Of course you were. Gosh, Rumble, I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

Oh man, a disenchanted Wind Rider fan. Yeah, I can see the 'Wonderbolt stallion' issue now.

Clearly the right solution is to make it into the Wonderbolts and with Rainbow (and possibly Scootaloo) turn them into what they should have been all along. We can see that in progress with Dash already given her impact on the organization.

Scootaloo patted him on the back. “She means you could try being your own hero.”


Ooo, a song. A fun song, with a good message.

“Great! I’ll see you first thing tomorrow for practice.”

“Tonight’s a school night, Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo noted.

“You have school?”


“Do you mind if I go flying with you tomorrow, on our break? Just to see how I measure up?”

“Sure. It’ll be nice to have another high-flyer around.”

There we go, exactly what I was thinking.

“Rumble!” A female voice called out. “Why did that mare just come flying out of your room with a blush on her face?”

“That’ll be my mom. You’d better go.” He got up and escorted her to the door. “Oh, and Diamond Tiara?”

The girls standing right outside all froze.


Good ending, and now on to the third story.

7324435 Looking back, I get it now. That's the point of the "Perfectly healthy? Nah, couldn’t be." line, then? I suppose that makes sense, very clever writing a line like that and then later on giving it the opposite meaning then someone might expect on the first time through.

Congrats on the feature! This fic deserves it. :twilightsmile:

Err, actually, I'm pretty sure all three fics in this series got featured. I'm honestly surprised a simple update got this one back in the box. It had its run in the feature box, this time it's more of an accident :twilightoops:. But thank you, hope you enjoy the other two stories in this canon. Or any other story of mine, really, I've got a lot of random stuff.

Shameless Self Promo: closest thing I've gotten to show style before this was called 'Grabby'. But that's if you like Spike fics.

Isn't the guard dogs a little much?

*puts on best Phineas expression* "Yes. Yes, it is."


Joking aside, yes, the Lorthos is kind of an excessive addition. But I've had the idea for that 'one head was bred to guard, the other was bred to dismember' for a while now, and this story was the best place to put it, so in it went. It adds another layer to the idea that Steel doesn't want to take any chances with Scootaloo, even though those two are just that: guard dogs. I only have one chapter to try and paint her character, and something excessive like that helps do it quickly. I wanted Thunderlane to have a good reason to be nervous, and I couldn't use the weapons angle because those a) those are all out of reach and b) I wanted to paint Missus Steel as being concerned and maybe judgmental at times, but not a violent pony, not without good reason. I can't have Scootaloo's mom be outright threatening Thunderlane with physical violence, not when Thunderlane's already had a sword pointed at him when he entered, and she apologised for it (the idea is she was posing with it to see how it looks). The easiest fix was a guard dog: something that might be violent, but can be considered an accident if it does attack.

Plus, we've only seen one Lorthos on the show so far, but it's still part of pony canon and worldbuilding. It adds something to the scene that makes it more in-character for the world. Makes it less generic, so to speak, which can be a big issue for one-scene chapters like this one.

7479172 And the other dog, what was it called again?

It's one body, but the heads have different names. Chomper would be the Mustangian one (modeled after a German shepherd), Gnasher would be the Canterlot one (which is modeled after a Malinois, a Belgian police/attack dog, kind of a notorious breed, too).

Aaand I just noticed it's an orthros, not a Lorthos. Huh, where did that come from? :twilightblush: If you're referring to that gross error, it's corrected now. I'm gonna be wondering what a Lorthos is all day now... wait, never mind, it's a legendary Octopus from Magic: the Gathering. Now it all makes sense.

If you're referring to the other orthros on the show, I don't think that one had a name. It was in Trade Ya. The three-headed one, I'm guessing you know, is Cerberus.

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