This story is a sequel to Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger
Rumble's such a nice boy, helping out Scootaloo with her flying issues. It's really high time for the Cutie Mark Crusaders to repay him for his kindness.
Only one problem: if he was going to get his cutie mark in flying, he'd have gotten it ages ago. And they can't exactly turn him into a Wonderbolt, like he wants to.
But luck smiles on Sweetie Belle when she finds the next best thing: a pair of potential playmates for Rumble. Now she just needs to get them together.
Without the help from Diamond Tiara, the only pony who might actually be of any help in the matter.
And without letting Rumble know, obviously. He's a boy: they hate this sort of thing. It's for his own good.
This may get tricky.
That face makes me think of the Japanese "tsundere" architype
7321519
It was something I whipped up on short notice, since I still have the bases from my animation attempts. Trust me, he'll be making that face in-story soon.
Oh ho. This is going to very interesting. I don't see many high society stories on Fimfiction, but I always end up liking them. I especially love your interpretation of post-mark Sweetie Belle always analyzing, looking for bits of inspiration she can incorporate into her own work. Rarity as on-the-spot etiquette coach is also very nice.
In all, this looks like it's going to be a great capstone to the trilogy. Whatever comes of this, it's almost certain to shock Rumble out of his current funk.
Well girls, if you still feel Rumble's not being open enough, you could try spending a day at the races with him; at the very least it should increase the chances of him slipping some critical information.
7321879
That's the thing, though: he's too young to race. If he could do that at all, he wouldn't be having this problem.
And yes, there is a racing club coming. The point does get repeated in this story.
7321932 I'd think not too young to be an spectator
(where I live, the big race(s) of the year at least are open to all public).
7322030
Fine idea. Not too far off future events, even. But yeah, that would be a little bit too easy, no?
7322900
It makes sense in context, trust me.
This story is a lot better with integrating the head-canon dump into the actual story rather than just belching it out. Like Sweetie Belle figured out, there's not much telling in storytelling.
7325649
Not sure I'm reading this comment right. Is this story better than the previous ones, or better than just the second one? Or is it better compared to other stories currently published on the site? Or is it worse, because it's focused on Sweetie Belle, and she does a lot of verbal thinking?
7325684 It's better than your previous stories because the explanation of pony sociology is more naturally weaved into the plot, rather than someone asking "why are things this way" and someone else answering.
7326023
Ah. Thanks, good to know I'm improving
Yay! More of Rumble!
Always excited to see the next chapter of this come out!
Out of curiosity, what are your plans when this story's done?
7336620
When this story is done, I shall write and finish the bonus chapters to Harder, Faster, Stronger as well as My Big Batty Not-Wedding. The first is a non-relevant but hopefully interesting fill-in of what exactly Thunderlane finds in Scootaloo's home, the other provides closure on how Rumble's family deals with his request in the other story.
After that, I'll be working on finishing Ponyville's First Warrior Meet, which will be a novel-length sequel to Junior Flight Camp: The Crusader and the Bullhead. It wasn't my most popular fic, but it was the one that helped me define my 'style' the most, and it has my favorite OC in it. That will be a Naruto-esque parody involving lots of dramatic flashbacks and the Cutie Mark Crusaders (along with Spike and Rumble) taking lessons in ninja fighting, culminating in the Warrior Meet. It's the story I have worked the longest on (not counting abandoned projects), and there's a twist in it I've been building up for three-odd years. One line, three years in the making, watch out for it. It's also very close to done as is, the fight scenes and the ending just need adding, and after that it's cover art and editing. Changing the name Moondancer to Moongazer will be a pain, too, not to mention the whole Dragonlord thing.
If that ends up putting me in radio silence for too long, I'll be getting out some shorter stories, possibly a sequel to the Octavia/Scootaloo sleepover fic, featuring a pre-Sleepless in Ponyville Scootaloo and her aunt Vinyl, doing the Sisterhooves Social. Competing with Spike and Twilight, and Vinyl will be hung over, and Twilight sleep deprived. I am also morally obliged to write something with Tender Taps sometime, but that needs to be worked out first. Also finish the Filly story I've had in storage for a while, but that'll be published to DA, not here.
While I'm doing that, I intend to finish and publish my NaNoWriMo novels (one of which, oddly enough, basically features different versions of some of my pony OCs), and learn to draw so I can get cover art for them. Also, make some short animations (still need to publish the snippets I have already), and get that Synfig tutorial done.
So yeah, got big plans.
Oh, and hopefully get a real job at some point, ending nearly two years of unemployment since graduation. But hey, that's not important at all, there's ponies to be had!
With regards to Twilight's cartographic coffee table... Well, all I'll say is that it's addressed later on in Season 6.
Also, I can only imagine what it's like having to live through retcons. As if making sense of Twilight's more bizarre adventures weren't surreal enough.
In all, this continues to be fascinating. Poor Rumble, though. He just doesn't get any respect at all, at least, not the kind he'll accept. I hope Sweetie's scheme works out... assuming the potential identities of Willow and Rose are accurate, which is far from guaranteed. There are a lot of uncertainties and unknowns in the air right now. Definitely looking forward to seeing them get resolved.
And don't worry about Starlight. As far as I can tell, her ontological stability hasn't been the same since her little time-travel fiasco. Mare seems to blink out of existence for weeks at a time.
I really think he needs to talk and/or visit his old foal-sitters.
Well, it's nice to see Rumble lightening up a little bit. He still has a long way to go, but the stick up his rear seems to have lost a little diameter.
Hmm. Part of me wonders if Zippoorwil was deliberately fidgeting. After all, if she is Willow, she may know that Sweetie's asking after her. The rest thinks that that's reading way too deeply into matters.
Um, wouldn't that mean that right now it's four days after Diamond's birthday?
Oof. Sounds like there was some truly major blowback from "Crusaders of the Lost Mark." I have to wonder what Filthy Rich thinks about what his wife's doing to his daughter, assuming he even knows.
(Also, minor continuity issue with Silver and Diamond still being on the outs, given this bit of the episode with Tender Taps, but I'm willing to ignore it for the sake of the story.)
In any case, this is getting quite interesting on multiple levels. Definitely looking forward to the next installment.
7351490
She did mention her birthday wasn't on the day it was being celebrated earlier, but I think she said her party would be before her actual birthday. I'll make a minor adjustment, you're right in that the math is off. I wanted to say 'four more days and then it'd be celebrated', so it's nine years and 361 days ago that she was born. It's her tenth birthday, so it'd be four days after her ninth birthday party if that was accurate.
Weird how that slipped under the editing...
Also, she's implying most pegasi are on some other kind of duty, most likely security, which would mean Flight Camp is just not a priority. Or deaths, your pick
Funny you should mention that...
It doesn't have to be pegasi foals you know.
Woah, now that's a start to this.
Poor Rumble, you'll never be safe from the CMC now that they know and have an interest in you. Of course, that may or may not be a good thing.
Hmn, yet another suggestion that something more may be going on with Rumble and his stallionness. I had somewhat assumed that the stallion thing was purely related to the Wind Rider issue as revealed at the end of the previous story, but maybe that was only part of it.
It's good to be prepared, AJ, you should understand.
Hehehe, they'll be lucky if Scootaloo ever stops flying, at least for the next little while.
Huh. Well, that does make Pinkie Pie sense.
Whatever they're going to inflict on Rumble this story, I hope it comes with a lesson on how to have fun.
The new and improved Diamond Tiara. And invitation only party, but pretty much any pony who shows interest gets an invite.
Huh, now that just raises some very specific questions about the exact origins of unicorns.
Diamond Tiara's mother needs to be restricted from having influence over pretty much anyone at all.
Also, Scootaloo from attempting to rescue anyone, pretty much ever.
Now that's got to be a pain for live performances in Equestria, at any given moment something like a third of the audience has the magic to interfere with what is going on with basically no warning.
Heh.
Ahh, so that's why we got to meet Diamond's Canterlot high society friends back in the first story.
Interesting place for that scene cutaway.
The rules of high society conversation are complicated. And good lord is Fancy Pants imposing from a little filly's perspective.
Interesting.
Complicated conversation rules or not, Sweetie seems to be doing well at it. Pretty interesting details about pegasi showmanship and the various methods of practicing for it.
Well, that worked, Sweetie. Now to see Rumble's reaction, not to mention the response from Willow and Rose.
7360450
Oh, you're gonna hate me in a couple of chapters. Or, if you've caught up already, next update, which is likely going to be the last one. Fair warning: I have filled my moat, and put my sharks on a diet.
Normally, I'd correct the use of "Irregardless", but considering using non-words to sound more important is totally in Spoiled Rich's character, I realized it worked very well as-is :D
7365642
It's also a reference to the previous story, when Rainbow Dash said it. I do know that's not a word, and being a stickler for accuracy myself I appreciate the mention.
Just finished reading the final chapter of this story, Well done on it and the other two that came before. I see how you played with readers expectations of what was going on with rumble. While the story did not go in the direction I expected it would for rumble, It was still brilliant. Good Job with it!
I might just stick around to see what you write next!
7365689
Thanks! It was a bit of a rush to get everything done before the arbitrary deadline, and some of the parts still look off, but that's what happens when you stare at the same piece for too long, I suppose.
The next thing I'll write will be the bonus chapters I promised, possibly a oneshot for Megapone's little event, but the next big project is going to be a sequel to my Flight Camp fic, which will be more of a mange/anime parody. If you like Naruto or One Piece, you'll like it, and if you hate Naruto and One Piece, you'll love it for making fun of it. Hopefully
That will take a long time to finish, though, a month at least, not counting cover art.
If stories with real-life equivalents are more up your alley or if you don't want to wait, I'd recommend 'Grabby'. That was also written with show look and feel taking center stage, and involves behaviour-modifying medication. Depends on what you're into.
(sarcasm) Oh now Twilight sees Rumble as a colt!!
7366378
Actually, it's Spike who addresses him separately first. That was a recurring thing: Cheerilee would call out 'Girls!' and Rumble would stay put just to see if he'd get called.
But yeah, you wanna be recognised as a colt? Go fight a dragon.
Actually... that'd make a funny story in its own right. Pretty sure that was an episode in Generation 1-ish.
7366378 Speaking of Twilight's treatment of Rumble. I kind of want a one-shot where Twilight is going through the Foal Free Press archives for some reason and stumbles upon Namby Pamby's tornado day article. On the one hoof she's probably learned from the Moondancer incident on the other what happened then is kind of way, way worse.
"I abandoned an injured foal all by himself! I'm a bad pony! I'm a bad princess!"
I kind of view her as RD's second in command for Tornado duty so she totally was one of the authority figures present who should have been keeping an eye out for injured pegasi. The fact that nopony did a headcount after the incident is pretty damningly irresponsible. Especially for Ponyville's "Chief Organizer." The fact that Namby Pamby happened to be there to get Rumble to the hospital before he could have suffered any complications is a small miracle.
I hadn't commented on the previous two stories. But I have been reading this series since the first one came out and I will tell you now that I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I love the interesting plots and I really do think it is very close to show style.
The innuendo was also very clever.
7368231
That means a lot, thank you. The concrete goals of this series were a major point of concern.
7367412
I like to think she'd consider that while the sleepover is going on. Maybe Thunderlane or Rainbow Dash has mentioned by now, so she tries extra hard to make the boy feel at ease. In fact, there was a concept for a scene where Rumble had an embarrassing moment and Twilight would offer some counsel as the kid-loving pony she is. It was scrapped for brevity's sake as well as being a little too far out of left field.
But yeah, that could be its own 'episode' in this series: Twilight giving Rumble some royal extra favours because she wants to make up. Not sure how to continue on that, but... well, it's not a bad idea to start with.
The other thing you have to consider, though, is that everypony missed him in this canon. This includes Rainbow Dash, Spike, even Spitfire. So it was just easier to focus on the one character who was the object of the neglect than the multiple ponies who were the subject of it. In the grand scheme of things, Twilight didn't do much that other ponies haven't done to Rumble, in his eyes. It's glossed over mostly for convenience's sake, really, but it's got room for expansion.
Spoiled clearly has no idea how Fancy Pants actually works. Also, she uses "Irregardless." It's like you're trying to get me to punch my screen.
Good for Rumble. Masterful evacuation.
Oh. Oh. Now it all starts coming together...
At war with his own biology. In the end, Rumble's still a kid, and this is an entirely believable fear for a child.
Good for Sweetie. Good for all of the Crusaders, really. This may not have been a strict success, but they still vastly improved Rumble's life. Plus, those grooming tips are going to wonders for him. Thank you for an excellent trilogy.
Noone else is going to comment on this line?
*immature giggle*
7372049
Completely unrelated:
.
Lol, that must be what the episode scripts look like for all of the fancy pants scenes.
This was a very cute way to end things. It's only fitting that Rumble, who does girly things and has girly friends, solves his problem of looking like a girl with a makeover.
Rumble was also a very unique character here. He doesn't fit any trope or label perfectly and most people, like myself, probably don't even know anyone like him. But we all know people who are insecure or don't have good work-life balance, and we all wonder about those olympic athletes that train for 12+ hours a day, so I was still able to sympathise with him.
*finnishs the series in one sitting*
10/5 moustaches (enter moustatios here)
#random number
7372049
I like to imagine Rarity is sitting just around the corner from Sweetie's room while this is happening, eavesdropping since this is the first time she's had a colt over in her in room. And the only reason she didn't bust in during was the fight to stay conscious as she hyperventilated.
Sweetie gasped. “That’s it!” She jumped and rushed to her dresser. “Lie back, I have an idea.”
“What? Why? Whoa!” Before he could react, a magical pull flung him backwards. “What are you doing?”
“Don’t worry, I can make a real stallion out of you right here and now.” She rummaged through her stuff and hopped over to straddle him.
“What the-hey, don’t-” He wriggled under her weight, but she pushed him down.
“Hold still, this’ll only take a second. It’ll feel a little wet at first..."
7477393
I like putting stuff like that in for the more mature audiences. The humour doesn't so much come from the kids as it does from picturing the adults' reactions.
One has to imagine what Rarity would say to Sweetie Belle afterwards.
"So, ah, you made him into a stallion?"
-"Yup."
"And you're a mare now?"
-"What? No. Why would I be?"
"S-so... you let him come in through the backdoor, then?"
-"No, he went through the front door. But I went out through the backdoor afterwards."
*faints*
You've set up a pretty good world here. Most writers can't shove thier way through long dialog, but you managed to make it work. It seems very real. I can definitely see this as a sort of mini-series. All the stories you mentioned in the authors note could fit into one story, provided you can tie them together. (The cmc still trying to push rumble to make more friends, get a hobby, ect.)
To be honest, i'm kind of glad rumble isn't trans. It didn't feel right, but at the same time, it felt too...easy. When he said he was born a colt, i was taken aback. You have a really unique style, and you threw EVERYONE for a loop. (Pretty cheeky getting our hopes ip in the comments section) Keep it up!
7512449
The long dialogues are a working point, and they come back in a lot of my writings, so I'm glad to hear they're at a good point now. The main reason, incidentally, is probably that my biggest inspiration is 'I, Jedi' by Michael A. Stackpole. Has about the same strengths and weaknesses, but at a professional level, obviously.
As for the trans thing, I expected it to come up, but I try to stick to neat little twists here and there to keep readers on their toes and, more importantly, let them think and decide for themselves on some things by deliberately deviating from the real world in some aspects. Right now trans issues are in the spotlight, so it made sense to do something about a boy who would get mistaken for trans.
Besides that, I've said it before and I'll say it again: never write about a character who's a minority. Write about two. If you only have one, then their minority status (girly, trans, gay, racial, poor) is the only thing separating them from the characters who are not, as character is defined by different reactions to the same stimulus. But get two, and you can go and explore issues that one might have, and the other doesn't, thereby adding depth. My Scootaloo fics, as far as I can tell, always have someone else for her to compare her problems to, for example. It helps for contrast. Token in South Park gets his central episode when other rich black kids move in. Missus Garrisson gets contrasted with Kyle. The Mane Six all react differently to the same dragon in Dragonshy. It would hve required a different set-up to work, I guess.
I may have mentioned it before, but the reason these stories are separated is 1) the main focus in CMC shifts and 2) there are differences in theme. The first story is about owning up to mistakes and confronting others, the second one's theme is mostly centered around role models, this last one's theme was 'even if everyone else is fine with it, doesn't mean you are'. Its main point is that tolerance of a problem doesn't remove the problem itself (see also: Diamond Tiara). Turning that into one story would have required keeping to one theme throughout, which would have been too complicated to pull off, at least to keep all the other elements in.
...Had a feeling that might be a thing. Wasn't a strong one, mind, but it was still there at some point. Specifically, the start, only to get shoved into the furthest recesses of my mind, "Nah, that ain't it." And then I see that it's actually a thing?
"Tonight's special is a sea bass which is broiled and a Hot Pocket cooked in a dirty microwave"
"Is the Hot Pocket cold in the middle?"
"It's frozen. But it can also be served boiling lava hot"