Just some guy, riding out his time.
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After another session of failed flight, Scootaloo and her friends decide to do some research. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo check out the archives of the Foal Free Press, and Apple Bloom finds herself interviewing Ponyville's strongest young flyer: Rumble, Thunderlane's little brother.
More specifically, she interviews him on how he trained for Ponyville's turn at tornado duty.
Turns out being a little ace ain't all it's cracked up to be.
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This...Is something I needed. A Rumble Story I can get behind. I will support you till the end of time.
Hmm. Well, I'm certainly intrigued thus far. Discovering Rumble's deeper issues should be fascinating, and there's clearly something eating away at him. It may just be wanting Dash to notice him, but it seems like it may be more complicated than that.
Also, I love the side details, like a few ponies quietly keeping an eye on the foals. Definitely looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
7056581 You said it!
7056721
I like that detail too. They may be sentient but their equine traits wont leave that easily.
Let's see where this goes...
There is something wrong with Rumble. I sense jealousy or a crush.
Hey, this is pretty interesting.
I originally started reading this for AB, but now I want to know more about Rumble. Thus far, it's very well written. No spelling or grammer mistakes. No plot-holes either. I also liked the DT part a lot. I found it quite funny when they'd randomly burst out and insult each other!
Faved!
This is really good , write more !
First off, to everyone: thank you. I just noticed this got featured, and I'm honestly stoked. And here I was thinking I'd lost my touch.
But in all seriousness, though:
7056721
Wait 'till Thunderlane gets involved. You're gonna love him. But that's the sequel. For now, let's just say that much like Blue Moon Bloom, it is complicated. But it doesn't involve bats this time, I promise. Well, aside from one off-hooved remark, but that's nothing.
7056581
Rumble is one of my favorite background characters to play around with, so thank you. It's always reassuring to know I get that character 'right', so to speak.
As for there being mares that keep an eye on kids, it seemed sensible, more than anything else. When you get kids who run (or fly) off on their own all the time, it behooves you to know where they are in case of emergency. Once you think about that, it's just a question of which pony makes more sense as a guardian. Pinkie Pie would have been a perfect fit for that headcanon, too, for example, but her near-omniscience would throw a spanner in the works of any plot.
7056929
The Diamond Tiara part was a hoot to write, I'm glad other people have fun with it, too. There is some background coming on Apple Bloom's reasoning, too. It's not much (because it's a short fic), but there is a reason she's doing this and not the other two CMC.
7056937
I shall. Just another editing pass on the next two chapters and then updates. Then hopefully the sequel will be done at a reasonable time, and the third part won't take too long to write. The song, especially, is a nightmare, along with continuity errors.
*winces* Uh, wow, poor Rumble. Works crazy hard, is the best young flier in Ponyville, and the only people who pay his accomplishments any attention are his brother and his... friends, girlfriends? The relationship isn't very well defined. Anyway, he has a surprisingly good attitude about all of it, but I have a nasty feeling he's just suppressing his jealousy and resentment, and as Luna can attest, that is a very Bad Thing.
Damn, I just realized something. The Cutie Mark Crusaders never even noticed him despite being a blank Flank; Luna, completely skips over him, befriends Pipsqueak and helps Scootaloo, but never gets around to him; depending on your continuity, Discord actually helped the Crusaders, but ignored him as well; and Rainbow Dash, someone he no doubt looks up to, styles herself as Scootaloo's big sister, but probably doesn't even know his name; then you've got Twilight and Twilight Time, again, passed up for the Crusaders... WOW, this never occurred to me before, but Rumble has a veritable ton of reasons to hate the Crusaders, especially for a child. That he doesn't is certainly a credit to his character.
Furthermore, look at how this would appear to a child. The Crusaders, despite constantly getting into trouble, are coddled and rewarded, while Rumble, a dutiful, gifted little colt, gets completely ignored by those around him. He's a good kid, probably gets good grades, he's ambitious, works hard, doesn't get into trouble... but no one so much as looks twice at him. Heck, even Miss Cheerilee heaps attention on the Crusaders. Then you've got Scootaloo, who despite not working half as hard as he does and having virtually no talent at flying gets to have Rainbow Dash as a personal instructor. I guess it's true what they say, the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Now this looks pretty interesting. Rumble is probably doomed though if he has like three stories to work through, one with each CMC.
Interesting characterization of him, I like what I'm seeing so far. Good expansions from canon regarding why he'd be at Hurricane Day but no other pegasus foal would be, and there is some really interesting potential regarding why he is the way he is base on what has been revealed so far.
7057746
I love how you make such a long list, yet appear to have missed pretty much all the points that are going to pop up in this particular story
Yes, this version of Rumble has it rough. Maybe he is biting down on his feelings of resentment. Maybe he'll take the opportunity to talk it out. In which case, good thing he's doing it with Apple Bloom and not Scootaloo, huh?
7058989
Dayum, little boy has it rough. And yeah, Scootaloo would not take it well, not to mention that she's a far better target for his resentment than Apple Bloom. At least with AB he seems to be making a connection (even if it is largely based around mistaken assumptions).
You know, this actually gives me an idea for a story. Years after canon Scootaloo applies to join the Wonderbolts and just barely scrapes by in her application tests, her final decider? The current leader of the Wonderbolts, Rumble, who quite obviously hates her guts. Now Scootaloo, an otherwise average flier at her physical peak, has to find a way to convince Rumble to vote in her favor before time runs out on her.
Essentially, the conflict boils down to this; Scootaloo's dream is to be a Wonderbolt like her surrogate big sister, Rainbow Dash, but she's just barely good enough to be a Wonderbolt in the first place, and she's currently in the best shape of her life. If she misses this chance she might not ever do this well again, she might not ever become a Wonderbolt, and so she needs Rumble to vouch for her. Problem is, Rumble despises her, he blames the Cutie Mark Crusaders for ruining his childhood and he wants nothing to do with her. This is all news to Scootaloo, who is now stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I think it would be a good way to show the other side of the story, how certain events in canon looked to a 'background pony.' And the effects they had beyond those shown, I actually have a few ideas on that front as well. For example, do you remember the school paper? How they had a news press and everything, how they sold to adults for actual money; what if that was all because of the work of a few industrious foals? Maybe they were looking to get a head-start on their careers. So they put their time, their effort, their heart and soul into that paper until Gabby Gums comes along and the Foal Free Press is shut down. Now, try and imagine what that would do to a child.
Or the Discord event, the Crusaders caused that to happen in the first place. Imagine how many lives were thrown into complete disarray because of their actions, try and think about what some of the long-term consequences to something like that might be. Furthermore, imagine how the adults in Ponyville would learn to treat children after dealing with the Crusaders for so long. Or how despite being a club called the Cutie Mark Crusaders, they completely ignored at least four other blank flank children (Rumble, Pipsqueak, Dinky Doo, Ruby Pinch, etc.). The fact that it's so easy for me to come up with this stuff at all should say that something is wrong.
7060638
Remind me to get back to you on that note on the show once this story is done. There are a few points where I agree, but a few disagreements to consider, as well.
For now, minor thing to note: we never actually see which way the influence goes with Discord breaking loose. There's events happening, sure, but no causal relation to be found. To wit, we don't know for sure if the arguing Crusaders sent a weakening power towards Discord or if Discord's prison was weakened enough to let him cause their arguing in the first place.
As for the story idea, it sounds cool, but with a set-up like that, you risk overplaying your hand. Always keep some twists and turns up your sleeve, like... notice how Thunderlane was called 'lazy', but Fluttershy was the one who actually got to stay home? How many hours did she train compared to the official participants? If Rumble hates Scootaloo's guts, you need to find more to pile up on that. And make him believable and relatable, of course.
inb4 Rumble is trans.
7061857
... huh. That took longer than I'd anticipated. Here I was, thinking people would say that on day 1.
Okay, this is seriously getting interesting now! And is really causing me to dislike Twilight, Rainbow and Fluttershy!
Twilight- because she ignored the fact that Rumble is still a foal and just waves off his wingspeed as a failiure, despite what he could do at that age. She didn't even take the time to realise he's a boy! Some Princess of Friendship! I think she'd be more along the lines of Princess of Disinterest!
Rainbow- For not really doing anything to cheer up her Tornado Participants and cheer them on! It bugged me in the episode too! Thunderlane got, like 9 point something when she called him lazy, and instead of maybe apologizing or saying, 'good job', she shows him up with her speed! As if anypony stood a chance of matching up to her! Like, what the Hell! I know I'd ditch her after that!
Fluttershy- Well, this is more her being a big baby! I know the episode was about her confidence issues, but all the other pegasi are sucking it up! Even a kid, and being told from his perspective really made me unsympathetic towards her when his mind is being bucked up by them!
But, above all that, it's engaging! I love being able to genuinly hate characters in a story because it means I'm actually getting absorbed into it! I also love how Applebloom is being portrayed here, and now I'm wondering what her ulterior motive was!
This is really great, keep up the good work!
A persistent, pervasive perception of inadequacy, compounded by a self-image built around the best of the best. Yeesh. No wonder Rumble's so obsessive. Still, I get the feeling that I don't have the complete story. After all, this didn't start with the tornado training. If that were the case, Rumble probably wouldn't have been there to begin with.
The gluten allergies being a butt allergy made me giggle pretty hard. Way to pay attention AB.
Somepony's got a crush~
I think Rumble might be transgender, but I'm not quite certain. Is that going to be explored? The author's note implies that it isn't, but it's strong enough in the story that it might be hard to avoid.
7062629
You'll get an implied answer in chapter 3. Any more than that and I risk spoiling stories that aren't finished yet. For now, all I'll say is: read the signs carefully and judge for yourself.
7062699 Ok, thanks!
Rumble needs some consoling. Overtraining at that age can lead to stunted growth.
7062997
If you hadn't noticed Rumble seems to be aiming for a more... feminine figure, that may very well be his intention.
7063424
Like a gymnast?
7063483
*shrugs* He used Rainbow Dash and Spitfire as examples, but became uncomfortable when Apple Blood mentioned his brother and Soarin.
7063517
Well they are better Wonderbolts
Rumble confirmed for most boring foal ever. Rice cakes, and dessert are not words that go together.
7063424
7063483
I'm still working out the kinks to it, but suffice to say I'm intending to drop a name like Jean-Colt Van Dam and Arny Schwarzenschülter as comparisons for physical characteristics. The sequel to this story also expands on his reasoning, but in this story you've already got the first hint that he practises interception: catching ponies falling from the sky. There's an argument to be made that he needs a certain lightness for that to work, but a lack of hard and heavy muscle might handicap him in other areas, of course. As for why he gets uncomfortable at the mention of Wonderbolts stallions, well... you know what River Song used to say, right?
There's also the more meta fact that I've already got a pegasus colt OC who's described as crazy muscular, so I kind of want to avoid that influence bleeding over into other stories.
Hey! No fair leaving the cliff-hanger there!
very interesting story, cool!
P.S: Funtasia? Man, I love that show.
I suspect I know the missing word in that phrase. I'll wait and see if it's the case.
Anyway, very interesting stuff. Poor, overlooked Rumble. Well, the Crusaders are going to give him all the attention he can handle!
May Celestia have mercy on his soul.
I hope that there is a sequel. Maybe the Crusaders and Rumble can help each other?
Hm, why cutting at this point? Nothing really happened. It's more the end of an arc than a story.
But it's a nice story, still waiting to read more.
Great. Now after all that pain he gets the CMC inflicted on him. Poor guy
7070689
Going by the story, the word left out is provided by rumble:
What do you suspect it is?
This is heartbreaking. Very well-written.
I kept thinking "man, you're making Twi and Dash look bad". But I can't deny that that sort of blind spot can be considered in character.
I really hope there'll be eventual lightening up on Rumbles part, some proper recognition for him and a happy ending in the sequels.
Good work. You have my attention. Happy writing.
7070756
7070763
The whole thing was intended to be sort of an episodic thing, trying to pre-empt canon. The idea is that after Season 5, maybe in Season 6, the CMC would have made good on their promise to help out other foals with their marks. Dinky Do, Twist, maybe Button Mash. But then what would happen when the writers run out of oneshot foals to play off against the girls? Introduce a hard case, one that they can't just figure out and deal with in one go. They'd all get their Rumble episode, like they all had their Luna episode.
The reason it cuts here is, for starters, length. It's meant to have somewhat close to episode pacing, so three or four chapters. Like, the first cut in chapter one, that would be when the opening credits roll. When Apple Bloom is startled by the lifeless filly dropping from the sky, that would have been another cut, but it'd be too messy in literary form.
The other major reason wouldn't be apparent just from part one, and that's theme. Even though the story concerns one major plotline, the themes of each episode are different. Here, the theme is 'It's tough being the bigger pony'. Rumble has every reason to be upset, to be angry, hold a grudge, but he doesn't. He actively tries not to. Why? Because Wonderbolts wouldn't. He never called out Fluttershy, or anyone, he ponied up because in his mind that was the right thing to do. But it still stings. Apple Bloom suspects Scootaloo might be hiding some grudges, but there's no way to know. Again, the tough being their tough selves. Diamond Tiara has to suck up to three girls she doesn't particularly like, partly because it'd be wrong to hurt their feelings, too. Scootaloo even has a moment of genuine sympathy for a pony she has every right to hate. This sort of recurring thing isn't going to come up in the sequels, they'll have different themes.
The second story, as you might guess from the setup, will involve role models not living up to what you might think they are (the obvious example being Scootaloo having to accept that Rainbow Dash can't teach her how to fly alone). The third one is still up in the air, but suffice to say I can't speak of the theme without spoiling the whole thing. I can say that the cutie mark thing, in the current version of the sequel, isn't broached on much yet, and is planned to be more of a focus for the third part. Part two is more them observing the boy and scheming, you might say, but it's in editing stages now. Further details are in the author's notes.
So, yes, more is coming, and there is a reason they're planned as separate stories.
7070621
The best ship is the Willyn ship.
Why did Twilight hit Spike, and so hard? I don't think that's in character, or particularly necessary for the scene. And if it was hard enough for Rumble to be uncomfortable about it, shouldn't that count as some kind of abuse?
7071526
It's a flashback to Hurricane Fluttershy, or rather fanfic events taking place in that episode. She did actually hit him in the episode. You also have to remember, a lot of this is Rumble filtering it from his perspective. Twilight hits Spike after Fluttershy's first run, and after the second, because he's telling her the low score.
First run:
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/9/9b/Spike_get_smacked_S2E22.png/revision/latest?cb=20121011184330
Second run:
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/0/09/Twilight_hushes_Spike_S2E22.png/revision/latest?cb=20121012184740
Can't see the actual slapping there, but the bend in his headscales is a dead giveaway.
Spike doesn't take damage like normal ponies do. But normal ponies aren't necessarily aware of that fact. I needed a good reason for Rumble to stay away, and having Twilight slap Spike a third time just made sense. It ties back into the theme of sucking it up for the greater good, being the bigger pony/dragon/anteater.
Grey Area...is that a Meat F***** reference?
7071727
No. It's a reference to Rumble being grey and unnoticed in a grey background. As well as be sort of an implication that they're entering the 'Rumble Zone.' And, you know, the moral ambiguities.
Poor kid.
Well Rumble, you might have wanted attention, but be careful what you wish for.
I really enjoyed this story. Especially since it shows how much this show despite being full of good messages is still filled with stupidity, injustice and many other things. To be honest in real life I think Twilight would've already gotten an earful from me, both from her mistreatment of Spike and her sometimes very autistic behavior.
Overall I rate this story 9/10. Would've been a 10/10 if Slice of Life wasn't already seriously overused on this site.
That actually took me a bit to get.
8038167
I suppose one would have to think long and hard about that... because, you know, most people never consider stuff like perspective, right?
The surrogate joke had me crack up laughing.