Paul's Thursday Reviews CCCXLIII · 9:20pm Nov 2nd, 2023
So I decided to mostly take a break from writing last month. I say “mostly” because even without having a particular goal in mind I still netted over 800 words/day just on little side projects that caught my attention throughout the month. Speaking of, I’ll be dropping a drabble anthology sometime in the next week I think, just because I have a few and there’s no point letting them sit around collecting dust in the GDoc servers. There’s only three stories in there at the moment, but who knows, I might get inspired.
Anyway, my month-long break was made for a variety of reasons, the biggest being to avoid burnout after so many straight months of writing success. That ends now, as I’ve decided to gun for a proper NaNoWriMo this year. The biggest problem I face is, of course, time, what with Thanksgiving, a beach house weekend trip my aunt has set up, and getting called in for jury duty again (seriously, that’s three times in as many months!). To accommodate that, I’ve upped my wordcount goal to 2,000/day. The hope is that even if I don’t pull off that thanks to the interruptions it may still get me over the 50k target.
The other problem I faced was which story to work on. Hitting 50k is great no matter what, but I’ve never actually focused on NaNoWriMo’s other element: putting all those words into a single story. I always had it divided up. This time I’ve decided to change that, and I agonized for the last couple weeks over which story to focus on.
If I’m honest with myself, the one that I most want to work on is Absentia, which was originally meant to be a 20k horror-adjacent tale that I started months ago in the hopes of releasing it for Halloween this year. That didn’t pan out, mostly because the story has ballooned to such a degree that I think it’s going to easily break my long-held “no more huge stories” rule. It’s juggling two main perspectives and I’ve been focusing on just one side so far. When I finish it my options will be to either cut some material or write enough of the second perspective to balance things out, neither of which are appealing for their own reasons. But I still really like this story and am always a little excited to get back to it.
But the responsible person within reminds me that this is not the story I should be focusing on. So, after much deliberation, I finally decided I wouldn’t do it. Instead, I’m focusing my attention on the originalfication of Guppy Love, which is about halfway done as-is. I don’t even know that it needs another 50,000 words, but hey, if this NaNoWriMo push finishes it at the expense of the underlying goal I think that’s an overall win.
That’s all I’ve got for this week. Let us get to the reviews, shall we?
Pre-Post Edit: Just wanted to take a moment to show my appreciation to Bad Horse, who went out of his way to give To My Uncle a shout-out in his blog. It's always nice to be recognized, especially with a story that went as under-the-radar as that one did. Much appreciated, Mr. Ed's evil twin!
Stories for This Week:
Antipodes by PK
Aria Blaze, Mother of Rainbow Dash by im a nopony
Applejack Anonymous by Clavier
Candy Mane's Nearly-Romantic Hearts and Hooves Day Dramedy by Trick Question
Forget-Me-Not by Goldfinch142
A Rainbow in Autumn by Serketry
The Carrot Dog Fight by xjuggernaughtx
Never My Love by Twi-Fi
Reverse Engineering by Bookish Delight
Liar, Liar, Apples on Fire by Monochromatic
Total Word Count: 195,662
Rating System
Why Haven't You Read These Yet?: 0
Pretty Good: 5
Worth It: 5
Needs Work: 0
None: 0
10,000 years ago, Celestia and Luna disappeared. The world descended into anarchy as the sun and moon ceased movement, creating a desert wasteland on one side and a frigid hellscape on the other. In order to survive, the ponies of Fillydelphia went deep underground. Today, we have Jigsaw – professional engineer and head of water maintenance – and his new assistant Tiptoe on a mission to repair the underground civilization’s main aquifer pump. What starts as a typical job becomes the adventure of a lifetime.
If I had to pick any one word to describe this story, I would instead choose two: “Young Adult”. Which makes sense considering the author was only 17 when they wrote it. I ultimately have to go with PK’s self-assessment on the story’s cover page: it has a good skeleton, but isn’t quite there.
Still, considering the author’s age at the time and the age of the story today, I’d say they did remarkably well.
The story stars Jigsaw, a unicorn who’s power varies wildly as the story progresses; sometimes he’s vastly overpowered and sometimes he’s skilled but not ridiculously so. PK varies Jigsaw’s abilities from scene to scene. Generally speaking, his unique talent is “figuring out how things work”, which usually translates to just touching his horn to something and understanding all the intricate intricacies of what makes it function. For instance, in one scene he finds a decrepit old subway train, touches his horn to it, and then is able to completely repair it into working order in a matter of seconds.
But then in a later scene he’ll be held back by a locked door.
His assistant is the pegasus TipToe, whose special talent involves stealth. She largely operates as Jigsaw’s love interest and provides little beyond emotional encouragement, although every now and again she’ll get a moment to let her unique abilities shine through.
A third MC to show up later is Incendia, a unicorn so specialized in fire magic she can literally ignite herself and feel no pain from the act. The bruiser of the team, I couldn’t stop imagining her as having a sort of Big McIntosh build. She spends the story crushing on Tiptoe (whom everypony wants, apparently) and providing violent, fire-based assistance when necessary.
The story follows these three as they explore the surface world, mostly in the safe zone between the sun and moon where the temperature is tame enough to allow life to flourish. It comes out that Celestia and Luna were inexplicably broken up into three “fragments” apiece and hidden by their long-lost evil brother Tantalus, who apparently is the origin of the Nightmare curse that took over Luna and made her Nightmare Moon. Tantalus now possesses the body of a fully grown Spike and seeks the annihilation of all pony life.
In short: Jigsaw, Tiptoe and Incendia seek out the fragments of Luna and Celestia in order to restore them to life and bring back the peaceful days of old Equestria.
I reiterate what I said at the start: this story has a good plot skeleton. Our three protagonists travel all over the place, exploring assorted civilizations, making new friends, and fighting against powerful foes while learning more about the distant past. There’s an attempt at worldbuilding, character growth, and general epicness.
The problem is that it all feels surface-level at best. A lot of things get skimmed over in favor of moving on to the next scene. For a simple example, remember that subway train Jigsaw manages to repair into working order? He and Tiptoe manage to ride the thing for hours, but there’s never any explanation for obvious issues. What about damaged rail lines? Caved in or debris-littered tunnels? Simple, obvious problems that never get addressed.
Now, that’s a relatively minor thing, something that can be hand-waived so long as one is willing to do so. But it is a single element in a much bigger issue that appears throughout the entire story, creating no small number of cracks in its foundation. Everywhere you look, there will be things that are ignored in favor of a surface-level declaration of events. The result is a story that goes by quickly, hitting all the important beats but skimming the details in ways that never feel satisfying.
Which is why I get a “Young Adult” feel to the story. I don’t even know if the way I’m using that term is accurate, it’s just a feeling I have. I feel like it will work wonderfully for an audience only looking for a generalized adventure without all the mucky details of a more serious, mature story. Which is odd to say, because there are certainly serious things happening here, including the wholesale slaughter of an entire city and the discovery of a mass pile of starved corpses. Make no mistake, some of the material here is mature. It’s the writing style that struggles.
For example, in one chapter Jigsaw and Tiptoe return to their underground home only to find the majority of the population dead and the rest in a state of chaos. You’d think certain things might come up. Like, say, Jigsaw’s and Tiptoe’s individual families? Yeah, no, not so much as a mention. These two certainly talk about how they “know these ponies”, but no names are offered, no personal tragedies brought up, no time taken to linger on the events and what this really means for our protagonists. It’s just “oh, there’s a problem at home, let’s go fix it, alright job’s done bye now!” A chapter later Jigsaw does undergo a mental breakdown and Tiptoe does mention – just once, briefly – that she neglected to ask about her family. Then it’s on to the next fragment, like witnessing the complete destruction of their home was just another step in the adventure and they’re just going through the obligatory motions.
It’s a plot skeleton. The author seems to be aware that the deeper levels exist, but decided skimming those levels would be best.
None of this is to say that the story is bad. Really, PK has a lot of fascinating ideas here that really work for an adventurous epic. As long as you’re okay with the fast pace and shallow nature of the details, you’ll probably really enjoy this. I see in Antipodes the seeds of a story that could have been great, and an author who could make great things with some development. You know, like a capable 17-year-old testing the waters of this whole “writing” thing.
Simply put, I am impressed. Antipodes isn’t a masterpiece, but it’s a solid showing for such a young author, with decent characters, great ideas, and an overarching tale that works really well with what it has. Sure, it could be better, but taking in PK’s age at the time and how well the story itself has aged I think this is admirable work.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Aria Blaze, Mother of Rainbow Dash
5,054 Words
By im a nopony
Someone knocks on the Dazzling’s door out of the blue, and Aria just so happens to be the one who answers. Thus does she find a baby thrust into her arms with a wad of cash and a presumed mother scampering, never to be seen again. Whelp, looks like Aria’s raising Rainbow Dash.
Going by the description and cover art, it was pretty obvious that im a nopony wrote this for a lark. It is no surprise, then, that the story is little more than a collection of short scenes from the life of Aria and Rainbow Dash, none of which are to be taken seriously. Such scenes include, but are not limited to, Adagio teaching Rainbow how to swear, Rainbow’s friends having crushes on her aunts, and a rather awkward interruption of the song Battle of the Bands.
To be honest, the main reason I chose to look at this is because I love the idea. Imagine a story in which Rainbow is legit Aria’s daughter – adopted or otherwise, but still legit. The potential consequences and plot elements that come from that scenario are vast, interesting, and at least highly entertaining. Really, pit any member of the Mane Six with any member of the Dazzlings in this scenario and you get something that would be a lot of fun to explore. Consider the image of Sonata struggling to keep up with a growing Twilight Sparkle’s genius, or Adagio the Vamp trying to connect with a timid and quiet Flutterkid. That is plot gold right there for the right creative mind.
im a nobody did not choose to take this seriously in that vein, but that’s alright. I wasn’t expecting them to. I was happy just to get this little window into the possibilities. I will say that this isn’t much of a story unto itself, being no more than a few random scenes with no greater purpose to them or overarching theme beyond the obvious. I can’t say it’ll be for everyone. But for my part, I found it entertaining, and that’s all I needed.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Applejack Anonymous
37,254 Words
By Clavier
Alternative Title: Applejack Gets All the Mares. Platonically. Mostly.
In what is an extremely rare occurrence, Applejack finds herself convinced to sell apples at the market on a Tuesday. When she arrives, she discovers the town all but empty. With the aid of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, she eventually discovers where everypony – correction, every mare – has gone: to a longstanding club meeting for all the mares who are in love with Applejack. Current membership: the entire town. Sans Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. For now.
How in the name of Celestia did I not know this existed for 12 years? This premise is to Paul what muffins are to Derpy.
This is a romantic comedy with a healthy dose of slice-of-life. The first half (or maybe two thirds?) of the story follows Applejack as she tries to get used to the idea of every mare in Ponyville being in love with her. This includes not only discovering the club, but also trying to figure out how to tell said club that she knows about it. I love that it was co-founded by Fluttershy and Bon Bon, the former of which has been trying desperately and in vain to get the group to vote for somepony else to be the club president. The antics of Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie effectively making things harder for AJ is just the icing on top.
The latter half (one third?) of the story is Applejack dating… Well. That’s spoilers. But it was a nice way to end the story.
While generally playing the concept as straight as it can be under the circumstances, the story does occasionally remember that this is Equestria and adds some goofy pony antics in there. For example, Applejack getting literally chased by an army of lovestruck mares when a certain truth finally comes out. I had no problem with this, especially when the elements outside of comedy were earnest bits of character development.
I am kicking myself for not having known about this ages ago. It’s fun, funny, yet also does a decent job with the romance bits. Hopeless romantics will adore it, but anyone who just wants to watch Applejack coping with the title of Best Pony (at least as far as Ponyville’s mares are concerned) will probably get a kick out of it.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good!
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
Candy Mane's Nearly-Romantic Hearts and Hooves Day Dramedy
6,102 Words
By Trick Question
Sequel to Candy Mane's Almost-Epic Slice-of-Life Adventure
It’s Hearts and Hooves Day, which doesn’t mean much to Candy Mane. Except for one thing: Strawberry Sunrise is going to want to talk to her, and everypony else doesn’t want Strawberry Sunrise to talk to her. She doesn’t get it.
No. Really. She doesn’t get it.
Here we return to a tale about the single least clever pony in all of Equestria. Candy Mane is so unclever that she depends entirely on the kindness of her neighbors for her very survival. Fortunately, she lives in Ponyville, which is full of the friendliest ponies in the world. And Strawberry Sunrise, who is interested in Candy for reasons that other ponies find creepy.
This story feels more… I suppose ‘grounded’ works? It still has Candy Mane being dumb to the point of ridiculousness, but at the same time there is a story hidden underneath, which is not something I could say about its predecessor. I like this way of handling the topic far more. Much of the story involves Strawberry Sunrise struggling to get Candy to understand her interest, often with silly results. Poor Candy just can’t wrap her head around the concept of homosexual relationships, not because of any homophobia but because she’s just too ignorant.
I like that the story reveals some of Candy Mane’s secret talents. She’s apparently got a photographic memory given her ability to perfectly memorize what little of the dictionary she’s read, and has enough awareness to apply those definitions correctly in casual conversation. There are other curious elements that pop up to suggest that Candy Mane could have a place in regular society if somepony could just point her in the right direction (and keep her facing it). I really like this aspect.
All in all, I liked this one much more than the previous story. It is a story for starters, but it maintains the silliness of what came before with an underlying plot that actually makes sense. That’s more my speed when it comes to comedies.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Time-Out — WHYRTY?
Winter Heat — WHYRTY?
Mission of Mercy — Pretty Good
Shoot for the Moon — Pretty Good
Back to Normal — Pretty Good
Forget-Me-Not
4,140 Words
By Goldfinch142
Requested by LH45
That title is surprisingly popular.
Cozy Glow manages to briefly elude her pursuers after the events of Season 8, and so enacts her backup plan: use a convenient mcguffin kept in Twilight’s office to go back in time and try her scheme again from a different angle. But Cozy messes up the spell and accidentally sends herself forward in time instead, to a period centuries later.
Simply put, this is a super-short redemption arc in which Cozy Glow is redeemed and turns to good because Twilight gave a speech. Do I buy it? Not for a second. But the whole ‘redemption with a few words’ does (regrettably) have precedent in MLP canon, so I won’t discount the story completely.
The story is alright, I suppose. There’s nothing overtly wrong with it in a technical sense. I had a lot of trouble getting into it, but I think that mostly stems from my concept of Cozy Glow as not being the type to legitimately change sides this easily. I suppose the primary draw for a lot of people will be A) the interpretation of the memorial park made for Twilight’s long-dead friends, and B) the fact that Twilight is not all hung up by said friends’ deaths.
Actually, that second point is perhaps the highlight of the story: Twilight’s positive attitude towards the general concept of life and death in relation to her immortality. But is it really a good thing that the highlight of the entire story has nothing to do with what the story is supposed to be about, i.e. Cozy Glow’s redemption?
To reiterate, Goldfinch142 didn’t do anything blatantly wrong with this story. But I get the feeling that it didn’t focus enough on its core concept, going through Cozy Glow’s redemption a little too quickly. I’m willing to acknowledge that as a subjective issue. If you like Cozy Glow or are just interested in a quick redemption fic, you might find this worth your while.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
New Author!
A Rainbow in Autumn
8,253 Words
By Serketry
Requested by Serketry
Sequel to Boast Busters - Extended Cut
Rainbow Dash feels as though she’s been a shitty friend lately. She outright gave up on Twilight during the whole cockatrice incident, and she left her oldest friend alone when she needed help the most. The guilt is impacting her so badly she’s resorted to the bottle. Then Applejack comes along and talks some sense into her, as she does. Fixing things with Twilight’s kinda easy. Fixing things with Gilda, on the other hoof…
Set in the Extended Cut AU, this is surprisingly brief in comparison to all entries in that series (he said not realizing A Study in Chartreuse’s review will have been out by now). Which is fitting, as this is only meant to be a side story. It comes in two parts, the first being Dash getting the verbal kick in the flank she needs to finally confront her behavior with Twilight. This involves getting the mage and researcher smashed at a bar and discovering the egghead’s crush on her in a very awkward way. No worries about that; a ship fic this ain’t, though it may come up in future stories.
The second part is Rainbow hunting down Gilda at her workplace in Rainbow Falls. This is easily the meat of the tale, even if it doesn’t take up more than half the overall story. It’s conclusion is inconclusive, not to put too fine a point on it. The “Gilda Problem” remains a problem despite Rainbow’s best efforts, but at least the problem is acknowledged so that we’ll be prepared for it when it inevitably comes up again later in the series (note my confidence).
A little bit painful, occasionally worrisome, and vividly described from start to finish, this wasn’t a pleasant read in the strictest sense of the word but was still a good read. That being said, if you don’t know anything about the Extended Cut universe you may find yourself lost in a lot of ways, which is almost certainly why the story has so little attention. It’s a must-read for fans of the franchise though.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
A Study in Chartreuse — Pretty Good
The Carrot Dog Fight
3,419 Words
By xjuggernaughtx
All Spike wanted was to eat a carrot dog Rarity had given him. This proves tricky when a pair of pigeons decide they would rather have it for themselves. What starts as a simple battle over a carrot dog gets a bit more intense than anyone expected.
I was expecting a silly food fight. What I got instead was a rather serious battle of bird “gangs” that Spike can only find flummoxing. He’s in Manehattan with the girls who of course are busy with a musical number he doesn’t have a part in, as usual. And while he can’t speak bird, he can still get the gist when the two pigeons stealing his carrot dog are themselves attacked by a seagull.
It’s a curious blend, this story. It’s one part silly MLP fanfiction and one part serious fight between two small birds just trying get a meal and a much bigger one perfectly willing to kill them for eating on its turf. I’m honestly not sure what to think of it. And yes, I do mean ‘kill’; these birds ain’t exactly throwing pies at one another, capiche? I suspect there’s an intentional juxtaposition here where ponies (or in this case, a dragon among ponies) gets to live a somewhat carefree and silly life while the birds are in the midst of life or death struggles.
And from that perspective, I kinda like it. Give it a go if you’re looking for something a bit different.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Resolution — WHYRTY?
The New Crop — WHYRTY?
A Door Jam — Pretty Good
Awaken, Scootaloo — Pretty Good
Indigo Hooves — Pretty Good
Never My Love
6,667 Words
By Twi-Fi
After having rough days at their respective workplaces, marefriends Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle decide to spend a night out at the latter’s favorite jazz club (assuming there are any others in Ponyville).
This one felt shorter than it is. There’s not a lot to the story, being little more than Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle enjoying a night on the town, getting drunk, dancing, and Sweetie belting out oldschool (like, really oldschool) jazz tunes on stage. There’s a subplot at the very end in which Scootaloo admits feeling she’s not good enough for Sweetie, which leads to Sweetie singing the titular song, but it felt less like the point of the story and more just an attempt to insert something resembling conflict.
It’s more of a laid-back slice-of-life than anything else, with a particular focus on Sweetie’s love for old music. I did feel like Twi-Fi was trying a little too hard with the slang, making it feel forced. I’m also of the opinion that there was a lot more needed to generate atmosphere around the songs aside from just the lyrics, especially if you’re like me and don’t know the songs being referenced. On the other hand, kudos to Twi-Fi for thinking ahead and putting references and direct videos in a separate chapter, where people could listen to the songs without such things interfering with the story itself.
Not a bad story, but neither did it wow me. Read it if you feel like having some ScootaBelle fluff.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Of Gems, Silver, and Books. — Worth It
Tears in Dreams — Worth It
Sleepy Time — Needs Work
Reverse Engineering
1,307 Words
By Bookish Delight
Applejack was kindly remodeling Rarity’s room for free, and how does Rarity repay her? By falling asleep halfway through the work! Something must be done to correct this little crime.
Let me just start by saying I’m jealous of Rarity’s bed. Even acknowledging that making said bed would be a pain in the ass, I’ve always wanted a bed inlaid within a wall like that.
Anyway, this is a short and sweet story set immediately after the Equestria Girls short DIY w/ Applejack. It’s not much beyond a short conversation between Rarity and AJ about how great AJ’s work is and how Applejack is taking a page out of Rarity’s book on generosity. It bears noting that this is not tagged as a romance, but if you’ve got even the cheapest of shipping goggles it would be easy to see some in the air.
I am reminded of the EqG special Rollercoaster of Friendship, in which it’s never expressly stated that AJ and Rarity are dating but the animators intentionally put hints in because they were shipping it regardless of whether the writers were. I approve, both for the special and for this story. Partially because it’s the OTP, but also because it leaves room for the denying heathens to have their silly fantasies. [/sarcasm]
Anyway, not much to this. Just a pleasant scene in which Rarity is reminded of just how good Applejack is as a person and friend (and more if you’re inclined to see it that way). If that suits you, then jump on in.
Bookshelf: Pretty Good
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
Generosity Travels — WHYRTY?
Blunder and Lightning — Pretty Good
P3 Project Episode 1: The Emergency — Needs Work
Liar, Liar, Apples on Fire
1,351 Words
By Monochromatic
Applejack knows Rarity has five identical barrettes. But how could she possibly know that, when said barrettes are kept locked in a jewelry box that Rarity doesn’t let anypony touch? Clearly, Applejack must have broken into the Carousel Boutique for the sole purpose of rummaging through Rarity’s private things, and she would like to know why.
Whoa, whoa, wait. The Princess of RariTwi… writing RariJack? Is it flying pig season? Has Tirek broken loose? Is Twilight burning libraries? I mean, don’t get me wrong, the OTP is the best thing for anyone to write, end of story. But the idea of Mono writing something other than RariTwi is like being a physicist who just discovered a circumstance that makes their entire scientific field a lie.
Regardless, here we are. The story has Rarity confronting Applejack about just how she knows something so specific about her. Applejack’s fumbling attempt to avoid telling the truth is very… Well. Applejack.
This was fun in many ways – Rarity’s failed attempts to absolutely not eat more than one apple fritter being a prime example – but I couldn’t help thinking it lacked the usual charm Mono puts into her RariTwi works. It could simply be that she’s outside her comfort zone and working with a pairing she’s not quite sure how to handle. It might also be that Mono simply isn’t as into the ship and thus couldn’t bring her A-game. That it is a commissioned piece likely doesn’t help.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing bad about the story (repetitive word choice aside), and I’m sure most people will love it, especially fans of the OTP. But compared to past works, it just felt like the chemistry of the given pairing wasn’t quite there.
That’s alright. I’m just happy to read more Mono fics.
Bookshelf: Worth It
Previous stories reviewed for this author:
In Everything But Name — WHYRTY?
Our Illusion — WHYRTY?
Constellations — Pretty Good
The Masquerade — Pretty Good
Sleeping Arrangements — Pretty Good
Stories for Next Time:
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I read Applejack Anonymous ages ago, and don't remember a thing about it (though I do rather vividly remember Rune Soldier Dan’s recent-and-conceptually-similar ”And Then… APPLEJACK WILL BE ALL MINE!”). But, you’ve convinced me to move it from my "Maybe Re-Evaluate Someday" bookshelf (in practice just to document stories I read once but didn't rate and won't read again) to my Re-Evaluate bookshelf, were it'll have a chance of getting looked at again. On the other hand, The Carrot Dog Fight I do recall well-ish, and I agree that the juxtaposition lends it a different energy and vibe that isn't fully magnetic, but is mildly arresting enough to make it worth a read.
Also, one can tell how much you dig the Extended Cut Verse by how the reviews for A Study in Chartreuse and A Rainbow In Autumn were nearly back-to-back! Only two review blogs separated them. Not that I mind, accelerating them on the schedule as you wait for the glacial progress on the next main entry is only fitting. Been over a year-and-a-half since the last one, and no blogs on it in over a year…
[inb4 Serketry sees this and reassures me progress is still a-happenin' and the Verse is still very much a thing
]
I wrote A Rainbow in Autumn well over a year before publishing it, during the lockdown, in a... let's call it a genuine emotional state. I also thought this fic was gonna get kicked in the Needs Work, so I'm again surprised. As for the future of Extended Cut, I can say there'll definitely be more Gilda, she's a central figure in RD's early-season arc.
Thanks for the review! This is one of my favorite stories, so I'm a little sad that you didn't care for it as much as some of my other stuff, but the feedback is greatly appreciated. I do recognize that it's kind of odd.
5753412
I'm not surprised at all; on all accounts I think it's the more significant, raw, and vivid of the two Serketry-led stories in the project.
But, then again, I guess I'm just a sucker for pollution-choked working class neighborhoods.
Thank you so much for the positive review! I can honestly say that was the most encouraging thing i've seen in a while.
Thanks for the review! I dig it.
I admit Never My love is a super niche story. It was actually an attempt at a period piece taking place in a smokey 1960's jazz lounge. Although I guess it's fusion since she sings a pop song at the end. There are tons of references to other songs and musicians hidden in the dialogue or character names, the story title of course, and the chapter title. The idea for the slang (maybe I leaned into it too much) was sense of place in time or an informal way of speaking that felt old. It's based on some old interviews and clips of people from that era and older.
Ultimately it is
fluff.
I find Applejack Anonymous fascinating because eight years later Rune Soldier Dan wrote a fic with almost the exact same pitch. As best I'm aware, the two have no connection. It's interesting how that happens.
oh hey, another review of Antipodes that meshes well with my impressions of it :D
my impressions of--
my--
ANTIPODEEZ NUTZ
Antipodes is one I remember reading in the early times in the fandom. I remember it had its flaws, especially towards the end, but overall I found it an enjoyable story. Even read the (now long abandoned) sequel, Lodestone.
Incendia is a cool character.
I read "The Carrot Dog Fight" many years ago and thought it was pretty good, but I don't remember enough specifics about it to say what math got me there.
Not just Rollercoaster of Friendship, but that short "5 Lines You Need to Stand In" was even more blatant. I loved the shot where AJ and Rarity could be seen walking together in the background and Rarity points at something. I imagined her saying, "Over there, behind that tree, darling. That's where we're going to make out."
I love Applejack Anonymous. All the mares being madly in love with AJ is relevant to my interests, and the juxtaposition of boyish Applejack exuding unintentional lesbian charm has always been a delight. In addition to that gag came a delightful celebration of everything great about best pony, as well as some interesting nuance to how the various potential lovers handle their feelings.
I felt that the fic declined in the second half - while the discovery, the chase, and the awkward détente that followed was a hoot, the abrupt turn into straight-played shipping ended the delightful humor for a fast 'this is a ship fic now and therefore the conflict is over.' And while I appreciate the fic chose to pick a winner instead of a harem or 'chase goes on' kind of end, the way they did it was... Applejack literally just picked a winner. Which didn't feel well-foreboded in the fic itself.
I do still love it, and come back for re-reads now and then. Criticisms aside, AA is a delight.
A few more cute Rarijacks is also welcome.
I love this. Even the idea of it as a series of vignettes in different scenarios.
Adagio raising an orphaned Apple-trio after being begged to save them by their dying mother. Initially sees them as pliable assets who can be raised to feed her love (idk sirens kinda seemed to get powered by emotion), but in the course of pretending to be like a mom she finds herself smitten.
Sonata, who impulsively took in and began raising a young Pinkie Pie, gets bailed out by her grumbling-but-caring sisters as she realizes caring for a child is more than play and smiles.
Aria grumbled now and then of how she missed the limelight, sparking a young Rarity's ambition to go into fashion and help bring the spotlight back to her adoptive mother.
They can be mixed, matched, changed. An ocean of possibilities, almost untapped!
5753429
While I do appreciate AA, it isn't a direct inspiration. I love AJ being unintentionally sexy and getting all the girls, and focused that particular story on her barrage of fanon-common ships rather than a wide net.
Heh.
(I think the actual inspirational trigger for writing it was seeing the cover art and deeming it perfect for the concept.
)
5753411
While I hate to put a downer on the idea because I do enjoy the EC universe, the real reason I read the stories so close together is because Serketry requested them more or less at the same time, so they were both on my list just waiting to be picked up. The only reason they aren't on the same blog is because I try to avoid putting multiple requests from the same person on one blog in fairness to other requesters.
5753421
The "pollution-choked working class neighborhood" is actually a big turn-off for me. I see it as an ignorant stereotype or propaganda tool more than anything (unless you live in, say, China). It's eye-rolling at best. But A Rainbow in Autumn's other elements were more than strong enough to make up for it, to such a degree that my disdain was forgotten by the time I started writing the review.
5753426
I didn't see it as a period piece at all, I thought Sweetie was just part of a niche group of people who happened to like older music of a particular genre. This is probably less your fault and more the result of me being a big fan of swing music, therefor making this a phenomenon I'm familiar enough with that I may have projected something similar onto the story.
5753429
...and now I have no choice but to read that.
5753432
Rarity: "Ugh, you are such a cad."
Applejack: "I got no idea what that means, so I'll take it as a compliment."
5753448
I forgot all about that and had to rewatch the short. It's only 4 seconds or so, but yeah, it was pretty blatant. Naturally, I shall not complain.
5753453
I have to admit that everything in the latter third of the story wasn't half as interesting as anything that came before, but I've always been a sucker for more "realistic" slants, and from that perspective... well, somepony had to win. Sure, Applejack didn't pick the right mare, but that's okay; let the denying heathens have their fantasies.
This blog had a suprisingly large amount of RariJack, didn't it? I must have been on a kick when I was scheduling at the time.
I know, right? I'm almost tempted to make a go at it myself because it sounds like so much fun.
5753506
Eh... it's definitely overrepresented, and frequently overexaggerated... but I grew up in a few cities like this, when my family was following the oil industry-- and the Admiral lives in the part of the country where the major river caught fire more than once.
In EC, very few parts of Equestria are as bad as Rainbow Falls-- but then, Gilda lives where she can find work.
5753454
"Applejack Gets All The Mares" is the gift that keeps on giving.
5753504
Ah. Fair. You can probably tell, but I tend to gloss over the "Requested by x" line, especially when it's by the author of the fic to begin with!
5753515
-After the Band Battle, the powerless sirens were given food and shelter by the Apples who put them up in a guest house. A gradual learning of the siblings' story accompanied by gradual, grudging reformation by their kindness led the Dazzlings to decide give thanks in a very peculiar manner.
One day before Applejack's 18th birthday... the sirens, as a unit, adopted her and her siblings. And while they immediately milked the "I'm your mom now" for as many jokes as they could, beneath her consternation Applejack could feel their warm love mingled with the humor.
5753507
I didn't make the setting very explicit. One quick fix I could do is have Sweetie say something to the band like, "are you guys familiar with that new song 'Never My Love?'" Then it's firmly grounded in the summer of 1967 (but in Equestria). Granted, those jazz standards were old even back then, but more relevant since those artists were alive and performing in that decade.