• Member Since 26th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen 25 minutes ago

Twi-Fi


“You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul.” George Bernard Shaw

E

I knew this routine. Just like last week and several times before. Poor Sweetie Belle was being picked on by her classmates. They tease her for not having a cutie mark; they tease her for... well, being Sweetie Belle. Maybe they don’t like the fact that she’s comfortable being herself? Foals can be so cruel sometimes. Poor dear, can't they just leave her alone? She’s such a sweetheart after all.


proofreading by: Mayhew Cullen
Editing by: Contodaslasganas

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 44 )
Comment posted by Brony Pacific 4023 deleted Oct 26th, 2014

This is great.It really does show Rarity what Sweetie is going through and why Rarity should be a better big sister for her
Great job on the story!

5184645 It would if Lauren Faust were still in charge, since she was in favor of the dark undertones this fic has.

Wow, this was good. I think Rarity's assessment of her parents is a bit harsh, but given the circumstances I understand completely. I just hope she revises her opinion before she sees them again. I mean yeah, she should be mad at them, but the way she is now she could end up doing something she later regrets.

Wow...I loved that. I've been looking all day for a good story to read and I've finally found it. Have a like.
Also I want to see someone draw a comic of sweetie playing with a spool of thread now. That Scene is just too adorable.

5186985 Thank you. I think she would change her opinion of them, after a long talk. :raritydespair:

5187293 Thank you. :twilightsmile:

Also I want to see someone draw a comic of sweetie playing with a spool of thread now. That Scene is just too adorable.

What's a filly do to? I agree, I think a comic or a gif would be awesome.

Simply beautiful. Rarity was spot on, as well as Sweetie.The feelings suited the setting, not being exaggerated. :pinkiesad2: :raritycry:
Sweetie pittying the bullies was a nice change from other fanfics dealing with the bullying of the CMCs.

The only thing that is not fitting in my oppinion is the treatment of Sweetie she gets from her parents. It's the only thing that is not fitting with the show, though it adds to the story. At least they simply want to travel. At first I thought you would make them disown her completely, that would have been overkill. Like this it is okay, if not completely believable. :twilightsmile:

5188839 The idea is that Sweetie is the foal they never planned on having. They want to do their thing so they pawn her off on their older daughter.

After the sisterhooves social, Sweetie just kinda lives in the carousel boutique. Not really a head canon but just a 'what if' idea.

5188921 As a 'what if' it's really great to work it into a story like that.

Though in "One bad apple" she is living with her parents again. But it very well may be that I'm just misunderstanding you. If you are meaning not only the 'never planned on having' thing but living with Rarity, too, then the "One bad apple" thing I said had the wrong reason for me to say it...
Damn... could you be so kind and untangle my tongue? I'm gibbering again... -.-

5188976 So she was. Just rewatched the episode. I totally forgot about that scene. :twilightangry2:
The idea was that Sweetie's parents are older/retired and wanting to go travel the world but they have this young filly (possibly not planned) so they send her off to live with Rarity so they can fulfill their life long dream of traveling. It's Sweetie perception that she's unwanted by them and Rarity's that they are being selfish. But that's kid of between the lines or implied. It's left vague... and like I said I forgot about that scene in One Bad Apple. Grr I really don't want to give this an AU tag. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.

5189037 I think it doesn't exactly needs an AU tag. There are many other fanfics that would need one much more. Besides there is so little canon about Sweeties family that the scene in one bad apple could very well be one of the few occasions they are back in ponyville for some time. ;)

This was a beautiful story. You made me cry which isn't easily done.

“We are traveling across Equestria and will be gone a long time.

needs end " marks.
__________

She fell asleep in me hooves that night.

my
________

“Nobody wants you!” Diamonds Tiara’s voice boomed through the room. It thundered strongly like the royal Canterlot voice.

move down a line.
_________

This story was beautifully done.

5190652 Fixed, fixed and fixed. Thanks :twilightsmile:

Wonderful story! Like and Favorited it! :twilightsmile:

Just read it vary sweet just like sweetie bell :pinkiesmile:
I Like it good job:yay::yay:

Wow, this was a very sweet fic.
I liked how it shows the relationship between Rarity and Sweetie in a more detailed and touching manner. Although the way their parents act towards them is debatable, It still shows that Despite all that Sweetie went through, she's still going to keep fighting for a better day. Which inspires Rarity to do grant her that wish by loving her like a sibling should; And that, is a lesson we can all learn.
So, overall, this was a very heartwarming fanfic. Great job to you!:twilightsmile:

Sweet sisters Celestia:trollestia:

"Come on in Spike":raritywink:
"Wasup?":moustache: "How'ed you know it was me?"
"Spikey precious scales even with the 'open' sign up you're the only one who knocks":duck:
"Spikey ,I need some bully help. . .":raritystarry:
"Spike you roasted who?":twilightoops:
"Thanks sis":unsuresweetie:

Great story! I loved it Sooo frecken much. :pinkiehappy:

I really love it when Rarity and Sweetie Belle are like this

:fluttercry: this story is very touchy

Thank you for adding this story to my group.

As usual, this is a review, and as such contains spoilers.

I'm a fan of Rarity, the CMC, and topics like those covered in this story. I'm not alone in this, as evidenced by the existence of this fic; Twi-Fi was/is obviously enough of a fan of these things to have written it, and he/she is not alone in having done so. That I came into this story with some hesitance is notable though. While I do like these kinds of things, I've seen them done before several times over, and in a manner that is usually bad, boring, or expressly dark. So color me surprised that I was enjoying this story as I made my way to the end.

It is always difficult to do this part of the review correctly. Many stories are pretty bad, and it is a struggle to find anything positive to say about them. Especially something sincere. For this story though, the problem is more, "where do I start?"

Tears in Dreams is short, at a little over midway between 5k and 6k words. With the flood of 1k-2k "stories" that inundate the site daily, it is almost weird to call it short, but short it is. Unlike the mire though, the size fits. There is a certain amount of words that are needed to properly convey an idea along with the right amount of detail. It is something of an art, and it is something most authors get wrong. Where most short works are better suited as mere scenes of a larger story, a story the author is too lazy or too incompetent to properly tell, Tears in Dreams feels complete and well presented in only so many words. As this feat is often rather hard to pull off, it seems like a nice place to start on the praise.

As mentioned, dreams are popular in storytelling. You can do some neat things with them, and many of those neat things have already been done, done well, and done often. They're also a pitfall of not so neat things that would ruin an otherwise good story, such as being unnecessarily confusing, pretentious, or blatant plot band aid fodder. So, once again, Tears in Dreams manages to take something "risky" and pulls it off well. A dream is used as the setting to tell this story, and it is successfully used largely because of how light a hand is used in it. Stage effects are meaningful and relatable, rather than arcane or bizarre. The dream setting is functional by offering a vivid visual element and allowing a level of information sharing from Sweetie Belle to Rarity that would be hard to pull off by simply having the two talk normally. Where the dreamscape is often used to provide a "woooo. magiiiiical! setting for a story that would be redundant in Equestria in many stories, it feels like a natural part of Equestria here. Again, light hand plays well.

I didn't mention it above, but I also have something of a fascination with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Like other noteworthy antagonists such as Trixie, Luna, or Discord, I can't help but wonder what their place is in this otherwise utopian world. Some, like Discord, are more forces of nature than people, and they fit in in a more fundamental manner. Luna somewhat straddles that line, being an alicorn princess and ruler of the night (and dreams). Ponies like Trixie, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon though are "normals." They are not representations of fundamental forces, deities or primal spirits, or anything like that. They're just regular ponies, who had regular lives, regular events, and regular personal power. So what kind of life or upbringing in this peaceful and harmonious land produced these hostile ponies? All too often in the cartoon, these two fillies are simply used as mindless "bully" antagonists. Sadly that will likely remain par. Fanfic represents a great way to explore them as actual people though, and as such I enjoy a good exploration of them.

While they never play a "live" role in the story outside of the dream, the lives and motivations of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon are examined through Sweetie Belle's perceptions and played out in her dream while talking to Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. That she thinks of them not as mindless bullies (as so many dismiss them as) but as ponies she can actually relate to is a powerful bit of story that I quite enjoyed. While I've seen the "DT wants more attention from her daddy" trope before, it was presented elegantly here, and relating it directly to Sweetie Belle's own worries made it come across as genuine.

Which brings is to the main point of the story. We've seen onscreen that Sweetie Belle loves her sister, and simply wants more attention from her. The younger sibling and older sibling dynamic isn't very original, but it is infinitely relatable, from both sides of the pairing. That Rarity is a busy adult with a career clashing with the childhood innocence of the world of adults and jobs is an unending mine of storytelling gold.

Tears in Dreams takes this timeworn story and manages to tell it without just looking like a thin layer of paint slapped on something everyone has already seen. I think that when we finally see her dream-experience of being abandoned by her retired parents, ignored by Rarity, and further tormented by Diamond and Silver, it presents a compelling character view that expands believably from the trope we saw presented in Sisterhooves Social. Rarity's perspective of not relating to her little sister because she's too busy and caught up in the adult world is vastly different than the world seen from someone who is still a child. Her desires for attention are reasonable and important. I think we all can get that just from Sisterhooves Social, but reading this story makes me get it.

On to the technical side, before I get lost rambling on about something else or other that I liked about the story.

As has been a pleasantly unexpected trend lately for stories I've been reading, this story has competent grammar and so on. There may be errors, but either my lack of expertise in the area or my overall enjoyment of reading the story prevented me from noticing any. As such, nothing jarred me out of the story and forced me to translate it. Style and formatting were all comfortably unobtrusive, and let me focus on the story and ignore the words on page, which is really the goal in storytelling.

On to the negative. Normally this is the "real" part of the review, because so many stories are just crap. I need yet another disclaimer this time though, because unlike most of my reviews, it is this part rather than the positive part that is a formality. This story is pretty damn good, and I wouldn't suggest changing anything. What follows are not errors in need of fixing. These are just a few things I happened to experience as one of many readers.

The start was a little slow. Up until the point where Rarity got in bed with Sweetie Belle to offer her support, it felt like I knew what was going on, and somewhat felt like skimming. I can't really place my finger on exactly why, as it was all good quality characterization for Rarity, and necessary for getting us into the story.

The point at which Rarity started crying and messing up her makeup felt a little over the top. It was understandable for her to worry about her little sister, and to worry that she wasn't able to help Sweetie Belle with her problems, and this is Rarity we're talking about who is known for her melodrama, but it was probably a good example of the "stuff" that I felt like trying to skim past. Again, it would probably make for a worse story to omit it, it would probably make for a worse story to "tell" instead of "show" this to us, and so on. That all said, it felt like an extended piece of "here is Rarity. If you don't know who Rarity is, here is what she is like." But I know who Rarity is. It was sort of like LUS. We know Twilight Sparkle is "lavender."

Rarity's descent into the dream was descriptive. It was understandable and believable that she would be confused by the experience and try to make sense of it. The problem for me was that it was obvious she was going into Sweetie Belle's dream. I knew this from the title and from the cover description. It didn't take long to get through, all things considered, but like the above paragraph, it was a descriptive bit of story that detailed and explained stuff I already knew. Omitting it, making it less detailed, or chopping it down would not make for a better story, but it was a part of the story that I wanted to get through to get to the "good stuff."

We end the story with the end of the dream and a return to reality. We're left to our own imaginations about the next morning, and what changes may arise from Rarity's renewed resolve to be there for her little sister. It would probably drag the story on to include these kinds of things, but there is a certain level of author laziness, I feel, when you push "too much" of this kind of thing onto their imaginations instead of doing your part to tell your story. I am probably a bit more greedy in this regard than many of the audience; I've never been a fan of Hitchcock's advice on horror films no matter how wise it is.

If there is anything you take from my review, read this story. It doesn't fall into the pitfalls a lot of other authors have covering topics that are genuine and heartfelt. It seems to me too many authors try to go for shock value and sensationalism, or for weird "crossover/AU" exploration of clashing ideas and elements like humans, hard science, or war in what is supposed to be a magical land of happy little marshmallows with bright colored coats and destiny marks stamped on their asses. Tears in Dreams covers material that, if you're like me, you might fear is taken to grim, depressing, or misery porn levels of cheap feels-bait. Set those concerns aside, and enjoy a fic that will make you smile. If it does draw tears, they're tempered with hope and love instead of cold bitter loneliness.

5757893 Oh, wow! I'm flattered. Thank you for the review. :twilightsmile:

WOW :pinkiegasp:
This was so beautiful, so deep, so amazing.
I wish so much I could write a comment as encouraging as this story <3.
I'll just try to give you my emotions this way : :applejackconfused: :applecry: :fluttershbad: :raritycry: :raritydespair: :pinkiesad2: :rainbowdetermined2: :scootangel:

As an older sibling, I can empathize with so much of this. Younger siblings are the single most annoying force in our lives and we can be so cruel to them, and yet all they do is look up to us and want our approval...

Of course, there's so much more going on here than just the sibling dynamic. This was a beautifully deep, wonderfully explored look into Sweetie Belle's character. My heart ached for her, but I cherished every moment we saw of her life.

Let me not forget Rarity, our narrator. It was a real pleasure to see things through her eyes. It added another layer that a nameless, generic narrator would not. I understood each and every feeling, reaction, and thought she had. It was like watching a more posh version of me watching a more adorable version of my sister. (Sorry, sis, if you ever read this comment. :derpytongue2:)

My only regret is not reading this perfect balance of bitter and sweet sooner. :twilightsmile:

6168673

As an older sibling, I can empathize with so much of this. Younger siblings are the single most annoying force in our lives and we can be so cruel to them, and yet all they do is look up to us and want our approval...

I can relate. And thank you so much for reading, I'm glad it resonated so strongly with you.

6168717 My pleasure. Thank you for writing it. :twilightsmile:

Aww, that was heartwarming and sweet. Just what I needed today. Thank you for this wonderful tale.

Sweet story, but could you clarify something for me? What exactly happened? Did Sweetie somehow show Rarity her memories or something?

6527380 Rarity's horn touches Sweetie's and Rarity gets sucked into her dreams/memories. But I only hinted toward it and left that part vague and open to interpretation.

Woah this was so well written, already added it to my favourites. Love it!! :pinkiehappy:

Awesome story. Loved it :pinkiehappy:

This story is amazing, and aside from being one of my first few favorited stories on the site, it's pretty f:yay:cking cool that this story has absolutely no dislikes yet.

7612168 Thank you. :twilightsmile: Yeah that continues to blow my mind. :rainbowwild:

There were some trees and dirt, but where there should have been the rest Ponyville in the background, was only a grey backdrop.

missing an 'of'

“We are traveling across Equestria and will be gone a long time.

missing closing quotation marks.

I knew this routine. Just like last week and several times before. Poor Sweetie Belle was being picked on by her classmates. They tease her for not having a cutie mark; they tease her for... well, being Sweetie Belle. Maybe they don’t like the fact that she’s comfortable being herself? Foals can be so cruel sometimes. Poor dear, can't they just leave her alone? She’s such a sweetheart after all.

Yes, yes she is...:pinkiesad2:.

Amazing one shot here, all scenes being a good example as to why Rarity should be a better big sister, and how her sister is more mature than she originally thought:twilightsmile:. While I am a bit surprised by the anger she feels towards her parents, and while I do think it's a bit harsh, I really don't have any room to talk, and I don't really blame her anyway. Throughout the entire series, we've only see Sweetie Belle with Rarity, and not at all with her parents, let alone together:ajbemused:. My guess is that they are either constantly travelling, or just really don't want to deal with Sweetie very much. Due to all the stories I've read about them, is definitely the former:ajsleepy:.

Oh, this was great. The descriptions paints a nice picture, and outside of a few typos, it was utterly absorbing.

What caused Rarity getting sucked into those dreams, I wonder? Sometimes it is better to not know.

9597860
It's in the story how it happened. :unsuresweetie::raritystarry:

There we go. I'll just hold you as you sleep. Everything will be okay.

D'awwwwww.:heart:

This was lovely. Very big emotional impact. Poor Sweetie. At least she's got Rarity.

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