• Member Since 9th Jun, 2022
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Moproblems Moharmoney


Because Rainbow Lasers Solve Everything

T

On the cusp of ultimate victory, unlimited power, and a new Changeling Empire, Queen Chrysalis learns why she should do her research.

17/6/22 Featured! Thanks all.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 26 )

The story in of itself was rather nice but the ending was too abrupt, in my opinion, and there are some questions left unanswered. Where did the friendship laser come from if everyone of Chryssie's enemies were defeated? Why did it vaporize/kill her instead of transforming or teleporting her into another dimension/imprisoning her somewhere?

11272431
I did worry about that, but tried it as part of the surreal comedy. Almost Road Runner esque, Chrysalis realises she's over the cliffs edge just as gravity kicks in

Also no, not all her enemies are defeated. The Mane 6 are still battling, Chrysalis is just being hideously overconfident because she's a bit dim.

11272433
I see. Well, it was a nice try, that's for sure! I gotta be honest and say that I'm also somewhat biased because of the implied death there. Then again, it was also implied that Luna's ribs were broken and such.

And it looks like I've read that the wrong way then, with the M6. My mistake! ^^
Thanks for explaining!

A handful of unicorns used to do it and she's been shown to be able to overpower Celestia thus being capable of being more powerful. Might be a little hard since it isn't her talent, but I'm sure she can figure it out.

Though... she is pretty dumb. Probably gonna get overthrown after wasting love and changelings for years while moving the sun when there's a free and easy way to do it right there.

technically, the same claim can be made against almost every villain in the series (including Princess Luna herself) Because none of the villains of the conquerors of the world remember that the sun needs to be moved.

Thee

I realize that a lot of people on this site get ye olde timey English wrong and you're probably just copying what you see, but your usage of this word is incorrect. "Thee" is 'you' for the object form of the word, "thou" is the subject form. This is kind of like mixing up "you" and "y'all." Yes, they both mean "you" but there's more to it that that.

Correct:
1) "Thou hast brought thy doom upon thyself."
2) "Doom hath been wrought upon thee."

In the first case, "you" are the subject of the sentence. You are the primary actor, and what you are doing is bringing doom. So it's "thou" not "thee." In the second case, you're not the subject of the sentence. The sentence is about doom being wrought, and you're merely the recipient of the doom, not the actor causing doom to happen. If this case "you" is the object of the sentence, so it's "thee" not "thou."

Tl;dr: Use "thou" if "you" is the subject of the sentence. Use "thee" if "you" is the object of the sentence.

Related, notice that the first sentence uses hast whereas the second uses hath. This is the difference of second vs third person. For example, you've probably heard the expression "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Why is it "hath" not "hast?" Because Hell is neither I (first person) nor you (second person). This is exactly like how in modern English, you would say "I have a ball and Bob has a ball." Who has the ball determines which word to use. You wouldn't say "I has a ball and Jim have a ball."

When you have Luna saying something like "Thee can't moveth the sun" it sounds a lot like "I has a ball." It should be "Thou canst not move the sun." Move not moveth, because like hath/hast, "moveth" is third person, not second person. You do not "moveth" the sun, you move the sun...and the sun doth moveth.

Thee has't usurp'd nothing fiend, thee has't only secured thy own failure.”

Apostrophes are used for contractions. For example, "can't" is a shortened form of "can not." There's no letter being ommited in hast. It's a whole word, so there should be no apostrophe. Also, "thy" should be replaced with thine when it occurs before a word with a vowel. "Thy failure," but "thine own failure."

"Thou hast usurped nothing, fiend. Thou hast only secured thine own failure."

11272605
I actually ran her dialogue through a "Shakespearian English" translator, cleaning up some of the odder bits (The sun was "Moving Lamp" at one point), so if it's hokey that's on them lol

11272601
I would assume if Celestia can move both Moon and Sun, so can Nightmare Moon. She chooses not to though for ideological reasons. Discord it doesn't really matter for (God level reality warping) but all the other big bads would certainly have that issue.

11272698
Well, maybe not Tirek, since it's possible that he was planning to move the sun with Celestia's powers after he stole them. Then again, since he only seemed to view ponykind as a means to an end, maybe he was planning on leaving the ponies to die once he had no more use for them.
Wow, that got dark.

11272838
"You call me a monster? Do you think of the pig before you eat its flesh?" Etc etc

Tirek could actually be an interesting story about addiction.

11272864 My supreme genius response, "When pigs beg me not to eat them, then I'll stop."

Well, in her defense The Empire wasn’t back from the void yet, so maybe she didn’t even know about its existence.

11272864
Oh my gosh you’re right. That could actually be a really good sadfic: Tirek began as a well-intended extremist but lost himself as he became addicted to magic.

I mean if Chrysalis could get a bunch of sad/redemption fics, why not Tirek?

11272926
I was thinking along the lines of his non-buff form makes him weak and defenseless compared to his brother Scorpan, so he devises a way to become just as strong and useful. Only one jolt of magic isn't enough, soon he's taking for the sake of taking. A being bloated with magic, the size of a mountain, but with no real reason WHY he does it anymore

Unable to hold back any longer Luna began chuckling once more, “Thee can't moveth the sun fool,” she cried, wincing with each laugh. “Thee can weareth mine own sisters visage but thee wouldst be dead in a week, this world destroyed by suns unending wrath!”

just force the Sis move the sun
or Celestia Rather let everything dies than give up her Nation

Unable to hold back any longer Luna began chuckling once more, “Thee can't moveth the sun fool,” she cried, wincing with each laugh. “Thee can weareth mine own sisters visage but thee wouldst be dead in a week, this world destroyed by suns unending wrath!”

say the ones who want to make eternal night, Nightmaremoon or not

11272944
I shouldn't, I really shouldn't. But I had to.

Losing my identity, wondering have I gone insane
To find the truth in front of my I must climb this mountain range
Looking downward from the deadly height,
Never realizing why I fight

I always love it when their plans are foiled by this little detail.

11273388
I was more reminded of Akira from that old anime. Loses control of his powers in his desire to win and mutates into a fleshy horror that literally has a big bang occuring within it - the power he had always hoped for, yet could never control.

So celestia doesn't move the sun and dooms everyone just because she's trapped again

A true ruler.

11276370
Celestia actually points out that (in her interpretation of Chrysalis plan) that Chrysalis will KILL Celestia, steal her place, THEN the planet dies, because Changelings dont gave the raw oomph needed to move rhe sun.

Celestia you know the phrase “love makes the world go round” who’s to say it isn’t literal. Hehe

11276415
This assumes that feeding off Celestia's love won't give Chrysalis access to Celestia's abilities.

That being said it was well written, and I do love a Chrysalis critique story.

Tsk tsk Chrysalis, Luna and Celestia suckered you into monologuing.

11435050
"You sly dog, you got me monologuing!"

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