An evil force is about to be unleash on Equestria. Kay the brony, Josh the otaku and Yuri the russian mercenary are sent to Equestria to fight the evil force, saving Equestria from total annilation. They will fight to the end, and find love. Rated M for swearing, violence and other stuff.
I like the story it's just rushed and poorly executed.
Needs some serious Editing. I would gladly help out if you like. Otherwise, good story.
Its getting alot better
Woah! Slow down there tiger, you gotta pace yourself or your gonna lose your readers.
Still, this is a new idea, an anime-fan and a mlp-fan working together. So I give you props for that one
if this is your first story good job beacuse my first story got over 600 dislikes and 1 like anyways i agree with bladespinner4 needs some editing
Awww discord cultist be creppin !
Hmm, an interesting team up, Brony and military otaku.
Still, please get an editor; I beg of you. The idea is good but the mechanical execution needs work.
Biggest problem, space out your paragraphs and have a new paragraph every time there's a new speaker.
All in all, interesting idea but too fast pacing and mechanical problems ruin it.
These niggas, they be rushin.
Naw mean dis shit bout to get real
This vhapter I liketed it
Um bro in the whatcha mu call it they said not to: do this you know the makers of fim fiction
aww we got james bond cassanova kay all up in dis bitch !
The story is interesting, but it seems pretty rushed. I'm find myself wondering about the details of Yuri's past when he was with Spetsnaz. Something he did in Chechnya or South Ossetia?
1902329>>1902329You'll find out soon, once I'm done the next chapter.
loved it. but you might want to check the story for some spelling mistakes.
but away from that I love the story.
I cant wait to read the rest of it.
Hmm, Try to think of some names for the other characters. like for the scientist: Blood burst. and for the bomb maker: Afterburner.
((these are only ideas.))
Those names in front of the line makes the story pretty easy to follow. Good job
1902754Good idea, thank you
Unfortunately, the bomb makers died. The one got killed by Kay in chapter 18(and I took that idea from Modern Warfare 3, good game). And the other one died on chapter 27, also by Kay, but I forgot to put it there
So what's left is the scientist, which now named Blood Burst.
I already started to wonder where the third guy would be... well there is it.
1902896
Yeah something like that.
It was only an Idea, it came to me when I read the word scientist.
If you need a few names for OC just ask me.
I can't stop grinning !_!
Yuri (Nicolai) is best warrior
Well I did not expect this
Eh yo mon, If you need a editor then I can help you. The idea for my story seems bad but all the words are spelled correctly so if you do need a editor I got your back
1905470 Okay, thanks
Awasome chapter.
Can't wait for the others.
Good job.
1962340Thank you
I am a good guy to go to for ideas so let me give you my imput if you don't mind
Your setting our main characters up for failure, well not failure more like if I were leading discords army I would have sent a night op and took a fucking axe to The Main six's heads. Also I would not kill our main characters even after I took out all six of them. No I love phychologic warfare. Kill the things they care about, that should do something to the mind.
Touture is my favorite though so say I capture hmm a filly from the town be the living shit out of them, mail a eye of the filly to Kay. Then later leave her or him in the center of town at night.
But you have to remember this is just my imput if I were leading discords army. Sweet dreams
You gotta love grimdark.
1959132 Just give me the order sir
yay
1966102Could you fix chapter 30 for me. Thank you
Oh sweet Celestia please no not fluttershy
NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! DEAR CELESTIA NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Eric best be put through a highly painful and cruel method of execution for that.
1980085Already seen chapter 30? It'll be worse than that.
YAY! I Love you again.
Amazing!!! I don't have other words for it and I hope Eric gets a darn bullet in his ass!!!!
Anyway once again AMAZING!!!!
I say go with a Crank 2 reference and have him shove a shotgun up Eric's ass then pull the trgger unlike in that movie.
(Small note I am messed up in the head and likely could give quite a few suggestions on how Eric should suffer. Also note be sure not to ask if you are easily disturbed.)
1978526 Um you have to PM it to me. But I don't know how to PM my story
fluttershy.. is dead
Good version of me: Damn I feel bad but oh well.
Evil Version: Well that could have gone better, If I had lead the army Discord would have been dead
1978526 Alright in order for me to edit your story you have to go up to my comment, wait for it to load the click mail. And give me your pass word. There simple... not really
1980524
You mean like this
Huh fluttershy is coming back *Sniff* alright, you just keep on doing whatever your doing. You know just ripping my sanity up left and right.
1982266 Yep.
YAY!
1985178yay~
Well a happy ending for this chapter
yay
NOOOOOOOO
I want to see Eric RIPPED TO SHREDS AND INCINERATED
Just as I was about to force you to find a way to bring her back....
Yay happy ending!
Anyone else want to see Eric get ass raped by a RPG?
1987355
Totally I will bring the chains and robes!! let's make him suffer!!