• Member Since 10th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Justice3442


T

Pinkie Pie is addicted to many things. Sugar, hugs, five-star reviews at the restaurant she works at… However, there’s ONE addiction her friends simply can’t abide by.

Thanks to Steel Resolve for his edits and suggestions and special thanks to Nova Quill/Firimil for her edits, sugestions.

Inspired by a conversation with Nova Quill/Firimil and NO2THING else.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 24 )
LEGION55 #1 · May 4th · · 6 ·

BOOOOO!!!!!👎

Makes sense :pinkiecrazy:

“Christ, Dash!” Sunset exclaimed. “Take it down a notch! Take it down all the notches.”

Fortunately, I don't have to worry about inhalants, because laughing so hard is cutting off the oxygen to my brain.

I don’t get the Whip It! but, but still funny.

B_Munro #5 · May 4th · · ·

So what were you on when you wrote this?

I feel like I'm missing something here.

Possibly because I don't... Do The Chemical Substances Not Even The Socially Acceptable Ones.

(Especially since I am, y'know, undead.)

Is the implication you can... Get high off the gas in spray-cream dispensers et al?

(I don't Do The Spray Cream, either, it's evaporated milk, or, at worst, single cream.)

Let’s get pastel girl wasted!

... What are the alternatives? Don't get me wrong, I love this sentence, but still.

Applejack watched as the three girls left and frowned heavily. “Rainbow Dash, Ah’m sure I know the answer from ya, but are ya the least bit worried that we’ve fallen into a bit of a rut regarding stuff happenin’ to use that maybe we should learn somethin’ from, but instead everything unfolds in a way that no one learns nothin’ and we all go back to acting exactly like we did before the thing happened?”

Careful, Justice. Some of them are developing self-awareness.

In any case, fun stuff, though it's times like this where I wonder if my high school was well-behaved or if I was just oblivious.

Probably the latter.

crack that whip!

I'm the only guy who get the Team Four Star multiple references and Sunset Shimmer talking like Vegeta in that moment?

9604239
"Whippit" is the act of getting high on the propellant gas inside a can of cool whip
9604337
Actually. The device in the picture is called a "cracker". You put a CO2 cartridge into it (like for an airsoft gun/ pellet gun) and it snaps the seal and depressurizes the gas contained within.

9604361

Let’s get pastel white girl wasted!

Usually means wine drunk and or uh... story topic.

If you're wondering what other option they have (since they're more or less mostly all pastel colors) there's always striped girl wasted?

Was that an Archer reference I saw before me?

I’m....not exactly sure what I just read. It was insane, made absolutely no sense, and I LOVED every second of it.

Now, onto my corny jokes:

But now everything was coming into focus and she could see two of her bestest-best friends staring at her with super unhappy looks. Sunset and Rarity looked like Pinkie’s parents when they caught her at her computer with the door open, her skirt and underwear down around her ankles, and her hand—

“Pinkie, darling! You’re oversharing, again!” Rarity cried out.

No, no Rarity. She’s not sharing ENOUGH. I want to hear more.

Rarity sighed heavily. “You think you’re so cute…”

“Bitch, I’m adorable,” Sunset fired back.

Who here didn’t read that line in Vegeta’s voice?

“I do NOT have a drinking problem!” Sunset insisted.

Sunset held up an index finger as she continued to completely empty said chrome flask, which bore her cutie mark on the front, into her mouth.

I’m more surprised by the fact that she isn’t a raging alcoholic from all the stupid shit that goes on in her life in both the human and pony worlds.

“I- I just—” Rarity threw her hands upwards. “I just can’t believe all this was happening right under my nose! To think, my friends, have been getting high behind closed doors! Squirrelling away whipped cream cans and tiny cartridges all for a little buzz. It’s just so… so uncouth! And it’s uncalled for! Certainly, there are better—”

You know, I never thought I would say this, but....Applejack, could you please pull the stick out of Rarity’s ass and go fuck her senseless. I think if you did that once a week or more, she wouldn’t be acting like a Raging Bitch Queen From Hell.

Edit: Also:

Go to 5:02 for the interesting stuff.

At the end of the day, none of them got laid.

This was surprisingly entertaining.

9604973
I’m pretty sure Sunnybuns is gonna be railing Rarebear before the night is over.

And also cream-faced, since she had just inhaled an entire can of whipped cream… Emphasis on 'inhaled' as in she also inhaled the air inside the can and then held her breath for a really, REALLY long time!

I'm starting to see what's going on.

Sunset flipped a palm upwards. “I didn’t insist we grab everyone! I just said ‘I need to talk to Pinkie’ and you started calling up everyone like the world was ending!”

Give it a second.

Rainbow Dash motioned to Applejack. “I just don’t get why Applejack doesn’t Kool-Aid man into every room with her super strength.”

Cause she has actual self restraint.

Rarity sighed, “Twilight said she was busy working on a new particle to help her travel back through time before someone spoiled the ending to Endgame for her... Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow! How could you? You're supposed to be Best Mane 6!

“Wait, wait, Viceroy Guinee of Pigstania!” Fluttershy called out as she ran off. “I’ll miss you the most after Princess Speckled Coat of the Ivory Planes, First Captain Snowy Feet, and Niles!”

Oy vey.

Pinkie shrugged. “Eh, I live here so… This level of damage and messiness in the house is just like… Tuesday.” She took another glance around. “Well, maybe more of a Saturday level of mess. Okay, so literally all my other most important best friends had other things to do, got it.”

You, worry me.

Applejack just shrugged. “Do you know how boring it can get on a farm, Rares? I’ve gotten high offa lots more things.” Applejack held up the can. “This is far less likely to give me brain damage and cancer.”

I suppose that's fair.

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “She’s doing a Whip-it, duh!”

A what?

Rarity sighed heavily. “You think you’re so cute…”

“Bitch, I’m adorable,” Sunset fired back.

Oh yeah.

Sunset giggled. “Yep! And you are nettled!”

Super nettled.

Pinkie nodded her head up and down. “Yeppers! They figured if we were all super interested in that, it’d keep us off the drugs.”

I, well, technically, that's correct.

Rarity’s eyes went unfocused as she seemingly stared inwards at herself. “Somehow I feel like public education has lied to me here…”

You just figured it out?

Sunset sighed. “Walked right into that one.”

I mean, yeah, that's, that's not inaccurate.

Sunset held up an index finger as she continued to completely empty said chrome flask, which bore her cutie mark on the front, into her mouth.

Drunkle Qrow, that you?

Applejack watched as the three girls left and frowned heavily. “Rainbow Dash, Ah’m sure I know the answer from ya, but are ya the least bit worried that we’ve fallen into a bit of a rut regarding stuff happenin’ to use that maybe we should learn somethin’ from, but instead everything unfolds in a way that no one learns nothin’ and we all go back to acting exactly like we did before the thing happened?”

That's most of Justice's stories. If not ALL of them.

“I’m a superhero!” Rainbow Dash insisted. “We’re all superheroes! Why are we being doing uncool stuff like using doors? Unless like... you have kinda boring powers like Sunset and Fluttershy?”

she’s kinda right,

Sunset has mind reading powers,

AJ can smash her way through objects,

Rarity can summon Diamonds forth from her hands,

RD’s basically the flash,

Fluttershy can talk with Animals,

Twilight has telekinetic powers,

and Pinkie? she’s the DEMOLITION EXPERT! XD

iz a dam good thing they use their powers for good eh?

also, tell me how is mind reading powers and being able to communicate with Animals Boring?

Applejack just shrugged. “Do you know how boring it can get on a farm, Rares? I’ve gotten high offa lots more things.” Applejack held up the can. “This is far less likely to give me brain damage and cancer.”

yea, all them there chemicals can do a number on ya alright, Pesticides, Cow manure (i know that’s cow shit, but le smell that gives, 🤢) and a bunch o’ other smelly thing-a-lings,

Sunset glared at Rarity and spoke to her in a voice two octaves lower than her usual one. “You just made me waste like… fifty cents by making groan like that… I’m doing another!”

sooooooooooooooo sulfahexafloorride or however the fuck it’s spelled, .......................cool?

9608108

I’m not saying either power is boring, but it’s the context of how they are used.

With Sunset’s, it would be pretty easy for her to tell if someone is lying to her or anything of that nature, because she could just read their minds and see the truth. The downside is the fact that she has to grab someone in order to activate her powers and see their thoughts, as I don’t know if-as she gets older-she would get a better control to the point that she would just be able to focus on someone and be able to see the memories she wants. The other downside would be the fact that she can see all your thoughts, including sexual ones. Some things are better left kept in the person’s mind and not personally known. So, kind of a useless power in those regards, as I would just break her grip if she grabbed me or see if I could focus on some disturbing things in my mind that would make her not want to read my mind.

With Fluttershy’s power, it’s not bad as you have a veritable army of animals to come to your defense. You could literally have them attack someone who was trying to harm you. The problem with it is that Fluttershy is pretty much a pacifist and would never ask an animal to attack someone, for fear of harming the animals or the person. So, great power, useless in Fluttershy’s hands.

9609341
Ohhhhhhh yea, now i get it, :)

9609341
The other half to them being boring is in the context of fictional narrative. Both of these powers are in theory great for knowing what's going on: half of the goal of many works of fiction, comic book superhero plots in particular, is to keep the reader from knowing what's going on too soon (granted, "too soon" usually means three action scenes early). They could be written as storytellers or not fully reliable narrators, except Fluttershy is a teenager and Sunset's passing, and few writers are going to waste the chance for emotional connection by disassociating their narrative with a teenage protagonist's internal monologue and feelings. (Seen it done with teenage characters, but always in less emotional and more philosophical works than superhero or magical girl fare.) This means that Fluttershy and Sunset won't know what's going on earlier than the reader barring stories in some way built around them (say, shoving the cast into somebody's mindscape or a detective story with a cast of forest critters).

There are a lot of ways to do this, but most of them rely on in some way making those two characters' powers useless or misleading (useless with a glaze of authorial scorn) for the situation. Since the real reason the power is useless is to enable the plot, the power gets written in a boring way. No point in wasting effort on what explicitly isn't part of the story, after all. When the powers do get used it's usually to enable lazy writing rather than good. For example, assume the plot requires some guy to be lying in a big, serious way. If the plot requires him to be obviously a liar to the heroes and readers, any member of the cast could reasonably have a gut conviction this guy is a liar and the readers would follow along. It's actually more dramatic if he isn't exposed via to mind reading, so Sunset's power is better left useless here. If the plot requires him to not be obvious, you either need to accept that Sunset will go off that plot's rails early and build a whole second plot for her to separately follow - or just keep her power useless for this so she can be shocked and betrayed along with everyone else. On the other hand, if the plot happens to make him so good a liar there's no believable way anyone could ever catch this guy out or find the proof, at any convenient time Sunset can touch him and move things past the writer's block. Likewise, Fluttershy could reasonably find assistance almost anywhere at any time or know about something obscure happening, but this is most likely to happen when an writer doesn't want to bother working out another option.

...Incidentally, I'd imagine somebody who has quick physical reactions and whose body is being informed about your movements simultaneously with your own muscles getting their orders would have a major edge both learning and applying any version of the "sticky hands" martial arts concept - breaking contact with Sunset might be a lot harder than breaking out the basic self-defense seminar moves. (Although with that cutie mark, she ought to be a natural in tai chi anyway, and with her personality, wing chun's also an option.)

one was clearly non-pulsed by what she just witnessed.

uh... is someone dead? [I think you want "non-plussed"]

out a small wine and licked

that could be a real plus for dog... a lot of frat boys would line up to adopt it...[think it should be "whine"]

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