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Five trials. Complete those, and win the heart of Pinkie Pie.

The only problem? Spike wants Rarity, not Pinkie, but the years locked away in the library have offered him no skills in that endeavor. So he must endure the craziness—and the sanity behind it—of Pinkie Pie to learn what intimacy is really like.

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 156 )

Yay! A good old fashioned Spike romance fic!

Hoo boy, here we go.

Hmm. This looks intriguing.

Holy fuck! Spike’s gots hands.

Great to see another PinkieSpike story (not a lot to go around). Can't wait for the next chapter! :moustache::pinkiehappy:

Interesting. Very interesting!:moustache:

*reads summary*


*reads entire story*

*sits in slack jawed silence staring blankly at the computer scree*


Well. That happened.

Very interesting story!

I have to say honestly I liked this chapter alot more than the first. I mean to be frank Spike came off as a good bit unlikeable in the first chapter. But this one made me like him a bit more. He MIGHT have a drinking problem, since it seems like the only way for him to deal with the issues in his life. However he does still seem like a good guy, if he can keep from being a asshole just because he isn't happy with how his own life is. I do think that a HUGE thing was said here. That Spike hate trying to talk fancy and things like that, he doesn't like putting up a fake persona but he is willing to do it. If he is involved with Rarity, who he has put on this platform for years, he will keep up that fakeness for as long as he can instead of just being him. Even this short interaction with Pinkie has shown him being pretty genuine with WHO HE is and he is taking so far all of the 'Pinkie-ness' in stride which is good. I think the next chapter will show alot more of how this will go from here. I do wonder how does Twi feel about Spike, I honestly could see very much this Spike getting involved with Twi. She seemed also to show a wide range of feelings when he brought up dating and even when she started to think of her own experience with it. I think if Spike and Twi got to interact more, outside of their roles and just as.... themselves there might very well be a spark there.

You make amazing stories but sometimes it takes a while to finish them :(

This story is cracking to be around 50k, which will take a week or so to write.

If I bled big mac, would I be able to bottle some jack from his veins?

Nice, so far i've no complaints.
Btw who/what is the source for the cover art?

“Will you date me?”

Saving the best for last I guess. :pinkiehappy::moustache:

nani? I thought we were friends.

Could follow conversation. A bit difficult, but mananged to do it.

Most interesting.

This was interesting for sure. It seems that once again Spike can't go a day without being drunk. I do love me some Pinkie tho, she is just so fun and interesting as a character that you will never find a dull moment with her. And I think that will come across in this story. I can't wait to see how this relationship go since I am hoping she can help Spike with his clear numerous of issues

Great chapter! Can't wait for the next one. :moustache::pinkiehappy:

This is a well written story with a pleasant style of writing. I really am enjoying this (even though I don't normally read stuff like this). Thumbs up, and please continue!

no matter how weird the story may seen, I can't not give it a try when I see B_25 as the author, I don't if it the profile pic or the amazingly good fics he already done...


Yea I am thinking Pinkie may need to see if she can help get Spike off the bottle. It just does not sound healthy what he is doing all the time.

Spike and pinkie is not that comment of a ship let's see where this goes

it be interesting to see how rest of the mane six react to this specially rarity

during the middle part of this chapter, i was tempted to leave, but that ending just made me come back for more.

You write Pinkie perfectly

We are. I thought was some else I think I was buzzed at the time of posting that. also don't tell anyone but I don't down vote stories. I just comment with "down vote" for the hate I get LOL.

I second these sentiments. Though for me, Spike was a bit too unlikable in the first chap. I almost quit reading but I must say that it did get more interesting and is still holding my attention after reading 3 chaps. It would've helped going into this, to know that these aren't truly the characters who you know and love from the show as they are portrayed there (like I expected). This is a more mature, realistic take on them but I can see their "cores" here behind it all and that helps a lot. At least mostly with Twilight and Pinkie and to some extent Big Mac.

Hope Spikes receives some healing through this endeavor if that makes sense. Seems like she's allowing for some leeway, due to the groundwork laid between the two throughout their friendship. She might see a better possibility in him.

Also I think Pinkie has a good reason for her rules. At least I hope so. Maybe her past experiences were rough, being used, cheated on, etc.?

“This is the worst terms and agreements I've seen in my life.”

Probably the best line of this chapter

OH! I see what Pinkie Pie is doing. She's trying to actually help Spike instead of testing him. She got him a job, and she's trying to make sure that he doesn't rush into anything.

That mare is crazy, but so damn cute and interesting!
Good job!:moustache::pinkiehappy:

“Thanks, Twilight,” I said to her, before lowering my voice. “Because reading always scored you a guy.”


“Rule five! You have to marry me if you win the challenge.”

....Uh oh.... :twilightoops:

Yep dating pinkie is a job

My god, these two really are made for each other.

This was a great chapter. I do think Pinkie might be helping Spike with her actions. I do think Spike is SUPER self hating. He has spent his whole life as.... well a servant. But now that he has gotten more freedom he is lost. He has no real self-worth, self-esteem, and drive of his own. That is why he is drowning himself in the bottle, that is why he is throwing himself at Rarity mentally. Because that is a constant for him. That is something he can anchor himself to. Because best chance he feel if he doesn't have that than he really has and is nothing. But one HUGE thing Pinkie did just now was let him work. But not just force a job on him, no no... HE decided to do this job, HE is working not for someone else but because he wanted to even if it was to help someone but he didn't have to do that. This is a big set for Spike. He will gain so much from this because he can feel how good it is to not only not be doing the job forced on him his whole life but to be doing something on his own and for himself. It really was a great chapter and has so many level, that I MIGHT be inventing myself but doesn't change them lol, that it really makes me feel that beyond being a romance story it will be a chance to see Spike finally come into his own and get to be his own person.

Spike mindset is quite interesting and Pinkie is keeping from thinking too much. Or thinking in another direction.

In the IDW pony comics Spike once confessed to Celestia that he wanted to be an adventurer one day. I wonder if this Spike had the same dream or if he still think about it sometime. It does seems like his life crushed any dream or ambition he ever had.

Reading the comments, I think you all are seeing way more into this than is there.

Pinkie is just crazy. That's it. Nothing more to her actions than that.

I tell you, most of that crud was probably made up.”

“Ain't all rules made up?”

“You get what I mean.”

Hah! Never thought of it that way, but what a great comeback. I love the smooth delivery and pacing of the dialogue - throughout this story thus far. And the initial fight scene was brilliant, and hilarious. Love the way you are portraying a troubled Spike here, and Pinkie being her usual self. This is flowing naturally, and I love it. Onward!

Curious as I think on it. If the mane six are such a great nucleus of friends and Spike has been... a satellite, for lack of a better term... Yeah, he has sort of broken out of orbit here.

Here is what is disturbing: we aren't seeing the reactions and/or thoughts of the rest of the mane six on his current low level of self hate and alcoholism... I mean, how did he get to this point, and what interventions have his friends tried...

...anything? I mean, probably, but it isn't mentioned anywhere. And yes I realize this is all POV Spike, but... it leaves me feeling a little cold and sorry for the poor guy... C'mon Spike. Pull yourself together here. Go to Ponyville's AA or something...

This is an interesting development


I really don't think the "reckless drunk who thinks he's tough shit" persona fits spike and it makes me think that it should have gotten him in much more trouble with the mane 6. Gonna have to stop reading sadly.

This story's been strange so far.

In fact, it's my strangest one yet—and that's saying a lot from a guy like me. This fic hasn't really been planned out. It's been going with whatever vomit out from my fingertips. Spike's character so far has been the hardest to manage—he's supposed to be unlikeable, and yet, relatable in his quest against the absurd and nihilistic.

I admit, more of me is coming through him, so I apologize for that at times.

Let's hope that Pinkie can make this dragon better, eh?

Good viewpoint. Spike is a dragon, a creature meant to fly, strong enough to fight, agile enough to survive in the world. It would be neat to hold that dream in opposition to what he is now—a broken spirit that rarely leaves his room or tries anything new. You've provided an interesting development to explore in prose.

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Thank you both for the compliments. I admit, reading these do me a whole lot more of good than I let on.

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Interesting theories, friends.

The mane six are bound to come in soon. Maybe they'll have a few developments to share with you dear readers.

You know when the author calls his story strange, it’s strange.

Pretty much.

When I realized that this fic wouldn't do too well in terms of popularity, I decided it was best to use the means for self-discovery. Very much like Spike, I am a fellow who rarely leaves his room, seen as a dick by friends, and suffers an undercurrent of intense introspection that is often to share. I'm not sure how that device works in prose—lest I make a therapist out of my readers.

My aim is for Spike to be his own dragon, fighting through similar problems, but finds a way to resolve and improve from them. Writing through this experience may present some answers for myself or, at the very least, allow me to express a thing or two through prose.

Blargh. Enough from me—back to writing!

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