//------------------------------// // XIV - Don't Be Afraid // Story: Five Crazy Trials to Date Pinkie Pie // by B_25 //------------------------------// ~ XIV ~ Don't Be Afraid “Aw crap, they're big.” I pulled myself behind the shed. Pinkie was next to me. She was talking, “They're great big meanies is what they are!” “And here I thought I was the biggest meanie around.” I pressed a claw against my chest to repress the beatings of my heart. “Three of them and one of him.” I glanced down at Pinkie, who was crossing her hooves. “Think he'll be able to take 'em alone?” “No!” “Thought you were going to say that.” I shook my head. “Boy oh boy. What the heck did I get myself into?” “Now is not the time to freak out! No freakouts allowed! Nadda-dadda.” “It's amazing how your heart's not blowing up right now.” I let myself slide down the shed, feeling nothing but dread and the world closing in. “Then again, you don't have to fight dragons. You know, real ones, like Applejack was saying.” “Applejack had no clue what she was saying!” Pinkie stomped her hoof into the dirt, doing so again and again until she stood before me, towering over me. “You are a dragon! You have scales and fangs. But unlike them, you're not as much as a meanie.” “And why's that?” “Because you haven't run away yet.” Pinkie stared deeply into my eyes, and for the first time in a while, she stopped smiling. “You may be mean, Spike, and you may say a lot of mean things, but you're still here. You're still doing the right thing even though you're scared.” “That's... now how that works, Pinkie.” I shook my head, fighting the urge to bash the back of it into the wood behind me. “Doing good things doesn't make me good.” “No,” Pinkie said. “But it's a start.” I fought against myself to take another peek past the shed. Mac was still yelling at the three dragons, each one taller than him, all much stronger. Something caught my eye during the exchange: Big Mac was yelling back, though his hooves... there was a tremble, one that you could miss if you blinked. Mac was scared. Big Mac, the biggest and strongest stallion to ever live, was scared. But he didn't let on that he was scared. He stood his ground, appeared tall, and did what he had to do, no matter what his body told him otherwise. And then it all clicked: it really did. Ponies liked to believe there's a choice between courage and cowardice, but really, there isn't. We choose courage over our fear, or we allow fear to make our bodies run away from the fight. Courage was a choice; cowardice was not. “I don't suppose you have any rum in your mane?” “One sec.” Pinkie delved a hoof into her mane, sticking her tongue out. “Nope. Just hair. Did you want some?” “No.” I sighed. “Just... I have a tendency to be drunk when I fight. In fact, those fights probably happened because I was drunk.” I let my head fall forward. “Now I'm not drunk. Now I'm just scared... terrified.” “Don't be, silly-bee.” I looked up to see Pinkie standing over me, though she no longer towered above. She bent her hooves, placing her muzzle on the same level as my own. “Being scared is okay! It's a feeling like any other. But to be afraid? Being afraid only holds you back.” “Pinkie?” “Yes?” “Can I hold your hoof?” I asked. “Can I touch you, please, this once? I need something soft to keep my calm. Something to keep me from going—“ I was stopped when Pinkie held out her hoof. Long and pink, it trembled ever so slightly, unable to keep still. Scared. She was scared. We were both scared. We were all scared of what was to happen next. But when I grabbed her hoof, when I held it tightly, squeezing my trembles out from my body, something happened that hadn't happened in such a long time. My body became still. My arm and claw did not move. Pinkie was able to keep her hoof still as well, comforted by being touched by someone else during a stressful time. And then the world made sense again. My body was weightless and my mind became clear, my only sensation being the beating of my heart. It reminded me that I was alive. That I was here, with someone else, about to do something finally important—even if only to myself. At last, in our intimate hold, I found my confidence. “Thank you, Pinkie.” Her pink muzzle hovered an inch away from my own, and taking my other claw, I cupped it along her cheek, feeling the weight of her head fall against it. “Everything's going to be okay now, alright? No reason to be afraid.” Pinkie Pie remained silent. She only smiled, gazing deep into my eyes, those orbs of blue brighter than the sky—the only things that made my heart race more than those dragons. She was perfection contained in so little, a bundle of enticement that withheld its wisdom, sharing it with only those clever enough to go looking. “Think we've killed enough time here.” I missed her as soon as I let go of her. “Big Mac's going to be pissed we took this long.” I stood as tall and as straight as I could, coming around from the shed. “Let's get this over with.” I saw the conflict in the distance, the stallion vs the dragons, none aware of the mare and kid on their way to the fight. My heart still beat against my chest, but it hurt slightly less than it did before. Closing my eyes and curling my fists, I broke into a sprint toward my best friend.