• Published 5th Nov 2018
  • 3,090 Views, 156 Comments

Five Crazy Trials to Date Pinkie Pie - B_25



Spike endures five trials to understand what intimacy with a mare is really like.

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X - A Meeting at Midnight

~ X ~

A Meeting at Night

“What I've said must never leave this office.”

“Don't worry about it. We've got it under wraps.” I shook my head. “Just not really sure I heard you right. Dragons? Here?”

“Could it be anyone you know?” Pinkie said from my side, to which, I shook my head again.

“Other dragons and I never got an along well because of the whole 'pony born' thing.” I shrugged. “Ember and I got along back in the day, but there are not many dragons thrilled to see me.” I sighed. “Or me them, I guess.”

“That's quite the shame, Spike.” The mayor sat up in her chair, adjusting her glasses with a hoof. “Because I was hoping you could talk to me a favor that goes underneath the table. I am to understand you are just as adept at handling difficult and dangerous situations.”

“I actually cause them more than I fix them.” I squinted my right eyes. “Forgive me for the asking, but why haven't you gotten Twilight involved? She seems like she'd be able to handle this real quick.”

“I'm afraid that's the problem of this matter.” Mayor Mare crossed her hooves and placed them on the table. “The Apple family doesn't want the matter brought into the spotlight, and I, for the sake and reputation of this town, tend to agree. They want the dragons gone without much fuss in the papers.”

“Bringing the Royal Guard away from Canterlot is bound to raise a few eyes.”

“Hence our problem,” Mayor Mare said. “We require the assistance of the Royal Guard without the matter reaching the ears of nobility. This office is not on a level to require assistance on the grounds of classified information.”

“And that all goes out the window if Twilight opens her big mouth.”

Pinkie stuck her elbow into my side; I did my best not to wince.

“It is not much for me to offer you in return to this favor,” Mayor Mare went on, blind to the elbow twisting into my scales, “but you will be doing I, and the Apples, a great service.”

“I... I'm not sure there's much I can do.” I looked down into my lap. “As I said, I'm not the type to demand much respect from dragons... or anyone for the matter.” I looked back up with a hopeful expression. “But if it's for the Apples? I'll try a word or two with the dragons—that's the kind of stuff I'm good with.”

And at the same time, I'd clenched my fists.

There wasn't much more to be said after that. We were thanked for the coffee and had our mouths shut about any more affairs. Pinkie and the Mayor talked from more—Pinkie being the pink ball of stress relief that she was. I just looked miserable and thought a lot.

Could I beat up a dragon?

I beat myself up plenty, so there was a chance.

Still... it bugged me that Big Mac held something like this from me. Maybe he knew I'd get sensitive about the matter? Why would I care if dragons were giving him trouble? I mean, sure, they were taking my job. Only I was supposed to annoy the crap outta him, but still, knowing he was in trouble bugged me.

Was it because he didn't think I could help? Geeze. There I went again. Thinking about myself again. How could I be so full of myself and hate myself all in the span of a second? Crap. Those two were looking at me now. Gotta stop thinking.

“Well Mayor, it's been a pleasure.” I stood up from my seat and gave a bow—why the heck did I do that? “We'll take out leave. See to us about some dragons.”

There's no point in saying what happened after that. It's all boring stuff anyway. Pinkie and I talked for a bit and didn't talk about the thing that was bothering us both. Was it the drinking? That wasn't an issue. Dragons have livers have steel, unlike ponies. Was it because I was a prick? Everyone knew that.

Besides Pinkie. Was she upset that she was finding this out? Did it conflict with what she thought of me before I hid away from the world? Was she regretting dating me? Did she hate me? Was she was she was she...

Stop. Stop thinking. I needed to stop thinking. It doesn't do me any good—only actions.

But good actions tend to come from good thinking, so maybe, I need to think better and about good things. Could I think about all the reasons that I was a prick? No no, most of those issues were small and didn't matter. I do what I do simply because I do them. I could be good. I could be nice, I could be a lot of things—was it simply a matter of choice or just who I am?

Stop stop stop. Thinking does nothing. I gotta do something. Pinkie was leaving. She was saying something, and I wasn't paying attention. She smiled a sad smile and nodded at me, agreeing to meet later and then walking away from me.

Once again, I was alone, and this time, I wasn't sure why. My mind was in hyper-mode, triggered by the previous revelation about the secret of my friend. I was going to help him. Pinkie was going to help me help him.

Was I going to face a dragon? I was going to face dragons.

When I stepped into the town, night had taken over a day, and the streets were dim, the parts without the bright lights of street lamps. Ponies were barren, and the streets were filled with nothing but me. I should wander and think because I had nothing to do.

And then I realized I had something to do.

I came from the building to the small stand next to the office. The coffee shop which had triggered this whole mess. It was strange how sudden everything was. This day was without purpose, and because I wanted to explore, I now had a temporary purpose—something to do.

And that something to do involved helping a friend.

I came to the side of the stand. It was a booth really. Big enough for the coffee machines and maybe a stallion. It was small but neat. Pretty cool I guess. I just wanted to get out from being outside alone.

I knocked on the door of the self-contained booth. “Uh, Steadfast? It's Spike. Dragon from earlier today?”

“Hnnngh.... oh, hmm, yes!” Hooves clopped against woods, growing louder and coming closer to the door. “Coming... coming!”

I shook my head. “Ho boy.”