Nondis is a man who managed to find himself Equestria. While Twilight and the other princesses try to find him a way home, he realizes that finding a way back is only a minor problem in comparison to his growing attachments to some of the Mane Six.
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4643804
Why would you want to go back to earth anyways?
The moment I saw the sex tag
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Um... Fifty Shades of Gray was a poorly written BDSM story, it didn't have vampires of werewolves in it.
That... was surprisingly dark. At the same time, it was incredibly uplifting.
Well done.
Before I continue readin', just thought I'd mention, Pinkie's sisters aren't named Inkie and Blinkie. Those are fan names that the fans came up with. Their real names are something different.... though, those COULD be considered nicknames.^_^
.......FUCKING GOOOOD¡¡
I have down-rated and un-favorited this story due to the following:
1. I am sick of castrated males who can not fight and only know how to lunge or pull hair.
2. The "do not fight others battles when it will threaten your life" socialist garbage is just that, garbage which causes the collapse of society. When someone else is too weak to fight or unable you d(beep)n well step up and fight for them, you hack, slash and KILL till they are safe and the problem is solved because if you do NOT no one else will or like in this story: The cycle will continue with someone else once he gets out of the hospital. This is a cowardly belief held by cowards, you do not stand up to bullies, you FIGHT then and you tear them limb from bloody limb, that is how it STOPS instead of PERSIST.
I am done with this sniveling story, that THING is not male let alone a man but a castrated THING.
this was a great chapter, thanks for the update!!
I tried to ask her what the history between them was
I find it interesting that even through this is one of the most glaring kind of mistakes, it is also the one that i see the most often...
Just checked. Pinkie's sisters' names are Marble Pie, Limestone Pie, and Maud Pie. 'Inkie' and 'Blinkie' are just fan names for them before, and somewhat after, their real names were revealed, since they were revealed in one of the official books.
And I think you meant for Caramel to call himself Pinkie's 'coltfriend'....
And now, back to reading the rest of this overall amazing chapter.^^
Must say, this was an excellently written and unexpected chapter. You did it excellently. And makes his bonds with them all the stronger with this, eh?^^
4663657
...You're not a very broadminded fellow.
Firstly, i too dislike it when a protagonist is displayed as weak, unintelligent or incompetent. That is, however, only because i can't relate well to such a character (yes, i realize that sounds incredibly narcissistic, but that's how i feel about it).
As you can quickly gleam from my page, i am a martial artist. I am 200 cm tall, weigh 105 kg and have practiced various disciplines for 6-7 years, and have a natural affinity for it.
That is not the reality for the vast majority of people, though. While i personally don't relate to this type of person, a lot of other people will. If you ask 100 random men on the street to hit you in the chest as hard as they can, chances are a lot of them would ball up their fist wrong and break their thump, or hurt their wrist. The average person knows jack shit about fighting. If you are "disgusted" with a protagonist just because he is portrayed realistically, then i recommend you go buy yourself a stack of superman comics or something.
secondly:
... I don't even know where to start with this. while that all sounds nice and manly, it is about as far removed from reality as i think you can get. This story portrays perfectly why you should NOT do that. What good came of Nondis going to stand up for Pinkie? You should not "step up" if the only result is going to be you with your face in a pool of your own blood. If you have the power to make a difference, then by all means, but most people would not, in a situation like this. While it sounds pathetic and isn't something any man would want to do, the only correct course of action here would be to go get help, from friends or authorities.
Furthermore, while killing him, or a real world equivalent of Caramel, would undoubtedly be satisfying, as well as doing the world a favor, i imagine it would still be somewhat counterproductive to the whole "protecting your friends" thing to spend the next many years in a cell for aggravated murder.
Someone's a fan of Teamfourstar...
Personally I think that's too good for anyone like Caramel, but murder is greatly frowned upon. One does what one can,, I guess.
We gonna see more of the Pie sisters? I'd hate to think their only appearance is for this downer (but still awesome) chapter.
Oh i do so hope that Pinkie pie's sister did a pony version of a Riverdance on Caramels balls while they were teaching him the error of his ways!
Also, Pinkies respect for the resident human might very well have gone up with 780 percent after this incident.
However taking Twilligh'ts affection for said human into account things might also become a teeny weeny tense between her and Pinkie because of this tough.
That aside, it's great to see a Human in Equestria fic where Pinkie is one possible love interest, there just is not nearly enough pinkie love fics like this.
4664085
You sir. Yeah, you with the thing! Here's what you've won.
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4663860
All the more reasons why you should find the time to find an editor. Self-editing can cause you to miss a few things.
4664122
It is implied with the lines he says that Nondis is a fan of animated abridged series' in general, especially with his belief that the internet is life incarnate.
4663493
I know that their names are Marble and Limestone. And I also respect your decision. But with that, wouldn't you think that the writers would give Maud a different name like Quartz or something to go with the whole rock thing? With that being said, I'm going to act like the people who still pronounce gif (it's jif) differently from me.img.photobucket.com/albums/v357/azishsa/tumblr%20gifs/avengers-stupidassdecision.gif
4663657
Okay. I'm glad you gave my story a try. I do apologize that my direction is not to your liking. You are most certainly free to have your opinions known. If you don't like it because of what is considered a realistic situation, to which the consequences do result in some rather unfortunate circumstances, and my election to have him go through with being bullheaded anyways, then I couldn't tell you what to do. Feel free to drop by again if you'd like. The story's just technically getting started.
4664532 lol Well, as I said, Inkie and Blinkie could still be nicknames for them. XD
But, regardless, the rest of the chapter was amazing. You've done well with this, I've got to say. And good way to develop Pinkie's affections for him beyond friendship... it's not easy to develop such beyond friendship for her considering how many friends she makes.^_^
4663657
You are entitled to your opinion but it frankly baffles me. In this story we have a very realistic character that has no clue how to fight. Even though he has no training he stands up for his friend. Sure he got his ass kicked but that is to be expected from an untrained every-man. Pinkie's sisters came and finished the fight, so what?
As a trained fighter with a black belt in karate looking at this fight I would have done the smart thing and ran. Fighting an ambush head on like that was frankly stupid of him.
In a polite society like Equestria or a First World country like ours you can not go around killing everyone who threatens you. Violence begets violence. There is nothing manly or honorable about killing someone. Full stop. While sometimes necessary it is at its base always a horrible and scarring act that causes many issues after the fact for EVERYONE involved. There are other solutions that can be used.
4664690
The funny thing was that he tried to make an escape, but Caramel managed to cut him off anyways, which was why I made the alleyway a dead-end. It at least gave him, what I would like to call, his moral win/curbstomp fail.
4664736
The funny thing about situations like that is you can normally find a way to run. But it would be fair to say as an untrained person he would get tunnel vision. That is something you have to train against as humans have a tendency to focus on dangerous things. People who are mugged at gun point will often later be unable to describe their attacker but can give great detail of the weapon.
Here are some examples of things he could do. He is in a town so he could yell loudly for help. Yelling also has the added effect of putting your opposition off guard. In a town the size of Ponyville he would be heard most likely, and if not it would make the other pony think twice before attacking.
When he saw he was trapped he should have ran right at his attacker taking the initiative when they were at distance. If caught off guard and the attacker had closed distance he should have struck at the pony's eyes with clawed hands and ran, this will generally cause and opposition to flinch giving you space to run.
A single tear is rolling down my face right now, and I'm not even lying. This chapter...DAMMIT TEAR!
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Okay, I'll stop now.
...Whoa
4663371
Fifty Shades of Grey wasn't just poorly written BDSM fiction, it was a Twilight fanfic masquerading as poorly written BDSM fiction.
4663657 How the hell is "don't stand up for others" socialist? If anything, "everyone for himself" is more in the spirit of capitalism...
And yeah, I know that Twi's point was "don't risk your life for no good reason" but still.
...Not to mention that wanting all the stories you read to feature superhuman characters that are awesome at everything and always win is pretty stupid.
Good chapter bro and now if you'll excuse me. I have to find over 50 weapons to use on Caramel
4663657
That's funny, for a second I almost thought I was the only one who was tired of things like this. I'm really freaking tired of fics where a pony beats up a human in a fist fight, like holy shit man, where the hell are your battle instincts? Humans are warriors, we fought our way to the top of the food chain, we fought until we pretty much conquered our world, and when there was nothing else to fight against, we turned on each other. Humanities been fighting throughout all of history, and I can understand not everyone is a trained fighter, but everyone still has the instincts to fight. It's just part of us, and I really, really, REALLY hate the idea, that a quadrupedal creature can land a blow to the head of an enemy larger then it. You don't have to be a martial artist to dodge a fucking blow, but apparently some people think that a pony can lift itself onto its hind legs and toss a right hook faster than a human can react. Don't get me wrong, I still like the story, and I will continue to read it, just really wanted to voice my dislike of scenarios like this cause they're just freaking stupid. Even if he still had to lose the fight for the sake of the plot, just one measly punch is all he landed? A creature that has to literally stay still for about 2 seconds before each and every one of its attacks was able to completely and utterly crush a being with a height and reach advantage, who is capable of attacking and blocking/dodging simultaneously. It's just really dumb how often I see things like this in stories. Alright I'm done, just had to get that off my chest.
That was a damn good chapter sir, a little heavy but it got the message across. Thanks for writing it, and I prefer bigger chapters gives me more to read.
4665906 I actually haven't read a fic like that before. This surprises me because what I've gotten used to reading was how [x the human] was the strongest fighter, the most adept, the better lover, etc. He was always the guy who always won.
So yeah, I was a little surprised when I read your comment.
But to be fair, it still took Caramel to sweep Nondis off his feet before wearing his head in. But I like how you worded your comment into criticism. It helps me learn from my mistakes and to improve upon them later.
4666429
The whole sweep thing in general left me a tad bamboozled, and I guess I just somehow gravitate towards the kinds of stories where the human is weaker. Not my fault those just happen to be better. I'm glad you didn't take it as an insult or something cause it really wasn't, I think your an excellent writer. Well I guess I'll just wait around for the next chapter, best of luck in all your endeavors.
Well, this chapter was very opinion-provoking. In any case, I hope the next chapter is a little lighter in mood.
4665906
Well, at least you articulated you opinion in a slightly more civil manner than Arlak, but i gotta ask:
Have, uh... Have you met other people? It's true that humans, from a purely historical point of view, are apex predators that have subdued not only every other species on the planet, but also nature, to a surden degree.
From a physiological point of view, however, humans are frail as shit. Have you ever compared a human to a gorilla, or a kangaroo, or, say, a horse? Humans have an absurdly low muscle mass ratio compared to most other mammals. Realistically ( i know we have to be careful when using that word in a cartoon-horse/human fight scenario discussion, but still ), punching or kicking a healthy, strong equine will be almost ineffective, simple because of the muscular support. Add to that that if you were to punch it straight in the face, most of the power from the hit would be absorbed, on account of an equines skull lining horizontally up with its spine.
I don't think that your average Joe could win a fight with an intelligent horse, even if it was only 120-140 cm tall.
I will, however, agree that he should be much faster than a pony. He also, as you said, have the advantage that he can switch between kicks and punches relatively seamlessly, compared to a pony who can only use one foreleg at a time, or have to turn around completely to use his hindlegs. (Also, as it was pointed out, Caramel did knock Nondis to the ground in order to get at his head.)
If anything, i think the most unrealistic part of the fight was that Nondis was able to sustain that many hits. He should have been out cold after the first hit to the head.
Ain't Combat Analysis fun ?
4666765
Well of course compared to animals we're nothing special, but that's only in the physical realm, if all that mattered was physical power, then combat analysis would stop being fun. I thought Nondis took the first blow to the head before he got knocked down, but I guess I got mixed up. However the thing about hitting a healthy equine on the face I feel like discussing cause I've always had my own opinion about this. Why do people assume an equestrian pony is physically identical, or even similar, to a real pony? The way I see it, ponies are the way they are in the real world do to their evolution in whatever environment they happen to live in. The idea that a sapient pony species,with higher intelligence, and lets not forget MAGIC, evolved in the same manner as it's lower intelligence/non-magical counterpart just seems ridiculous. Even earth ponies, which I honestly don't understand the point of, should be physically weaker then a real life pony. They may be the strongest of the three races, but they should only equate to about the strength of an above average human in my opinion. People compare the MLP ponies to real life ponies, but they are technically the humans of their world, and there isn't a physical equivalent for ponies to them. Sure they'd have large muscle mass and probably rather thick skulls, if they needed those things, but they don't when you really think about it. Whats the point in being strong if you can just blast them with magical powers or fly the fuck away? Saying they would be physically similar to a pony on earth is like saying humanity would have been the same if it developed on Mercury rather than earth.
4666992
I mostly agree; It is true that unicorns and pegasi would have no evolutionary reason to develop excessive physical strength. I would however argue that earth ponies have all the more reason to be stronger than a proportional real-life horse. Not only is there the magic aspect, which is quite muddled and difficult to account for, but they are intelligent and make a dedicated effort to develop and use their body. Look at Applejack, she spends all day kicking trees. I imagine that would give you some killer thighs. Regular (wild) horses just stand around, grazing, maybe run a few hundred meters every now and then.
I wouldn't really equate equestrian ponies with real-life ponies, either, but it was the closest analog i had at hand. The problem with analyzing fictional creatures is that it often becomes guesses based on conjecture
*edit
It just struck me that this actually could be extremely interesting from a genetic point of view. According to the Hearts Warming play, the three races were segregated a thousand years ago or so. Then, they started intermingling, and, presumably, having some mixed offspring. I wonder how the genes of an Earth pony and a Unicorn would mesh? Does it result in a stronger Unicorn that is weaker in magic, or a weak Earth pony with enhanced Earth pony magic?
... I wonder if my University would take a research paper on the subject seriously?
Sorry for the delay?!
Honestly, I've been pleasantly surprised with your updates!
And your chapters are superb!!
Both in length and content.
This was a beautiful chapter hard to write, at times, I'd imagine.
I thought I was a good chapter, a little heavy handed at times. I would have her sisters imply what happened and not state it flat out, I don't think they would just say it. Also I don't think they should say, on life support. The line we sent him packing, to the hospital was much smoother and even a little funny. You can find out from someone else that e is on life support, think it adds more to the encounter. Otherwise, good chapter.
4666992
I totally agree with you on this.
MLP ponies != Real Life ponies in terms of physical strength or build.
For all the reasons you have stated.
A human and pony fist/hoof fight is believable.
4667287
See and that's what I think is the exception. Applejack is a farmer, who works diligently. She should definitely be stronger than your run of the mill earth pony, just as a human farmer would be. However not all earth ponies are like that, just look at Roseluck or Cheerilee.(or however you spell that name) They don't work themselves physically like Applejack does, and its hard to peg earth ponies physical abilities honestly. I personally think they should be weaker than real ponies, however they do tend to lean towards manual labor, and they do things that seem like it would take considerable strength. (applebucking for example) But then I've seen Rainbowdash applebuck and if I recall even Fluttershy was capable of doing it. Also feel like mentioning Rainbow dash in relation to Applejack is almost entirely her equal, when it comes to physical performance. Most of my assumptions for their capabilities are based off of things from the actual show, but even the show itself is vague at best on what exactly they are capable of. It's interesting you would bring up the genetics thing from when the races began to mingle with one another. I would think that as a whole, it weakened the species. Even if an earth pony has increased earth pony magic, I've yet to see what that actually accomplishes except for maybe the slightest increase to physical ability. I don't think it would be enough to make up for the considerably weaker unicorn genes. I'd think crossbreeding with a pegasus would accomplish absolutely nothing at all. They can control weather, but only if they are an actual pegasus, and they can fly, but you need the wings. I don't think either of the other 2 races would benefit from breeding with pegasi. The only thing I can think is that MAYBE a unicorn/pegasus bred pony who was born a unicorn, would be a bit better at controlling the weather with magic than the average pony. But then again unicorns can already do everything better than the average pony. In retrospect I suppose the only race that could benefit from the mingling are the unicorns, since a unicorn who was born from 1 parent of a different race might have magic that excels in some area related to the non unicorn parent. As much as I really hate to say it, unicorn master race.(besides the alicorns I mean)
4667699
Personally, I think that the three races have an augmentation of a certain quality or two.
Earth ponies have augmented physical strength.
Unicorn ponies have an augmented mental abilities.
Pegasi ponies have better physical endurance.
4667699
4667842
Well, in addition to the Earth ponies strength augmentation, there is also their "connection to the earth". It isn't really explained in detail (i actually hope there will be an episode dedicated to the different kinds of magic (hamouneous, chaotic, "dark", alicorn, unicorn, pegasus, earth pony and all the rest) at some point) but in Hearts Warming Eve, it is said that only the Earth ponies can grow crops. It might be that there is more to it.
4668022
I don't know, seems to me it's not so much as only the earth ponies can grow crops as much as it's all they're good for. Aside from manual labor, and even then other ponies have shown they can do the same tasks, the only other use for them is farming really. Peon work for the peon ponies.
4668503
It is clearly said in the episode that the Unicorns and Pegasi where dependent on the Earth ponies for food, as much as the Earth ponies where dependent on the Pegasi controlling the weather and the Unicorns controlling the sun and moon. That much is canon. I doubt they starved themselves just because they wouldn't lower themselves to do it.
They are portrayed as prideful tribes, and as being distrustful of each other. If they could supply themselves with food and avoid having to rely on the other two tribes, I'm sure they would have. Since they didn't we can conclude that they most likely either can't do it at all, or that they can't do it effectively enough to survive on their own crops.
wow. more and more i see twilight and pinkie falling in love with him. still no romance tag as well... I'm worried to where this is going to go. really really scared after we was nearly beaten to death.
I am not sure if I get this part.
What were you trying to imply by it?
4674716 In some anime's when people have really sexy thoughts or see very sexy things thier nose starts bleeding.
4676306 Yeah I know about that but it became confusing to me because of the moment.
What I meant to say is.
When I read the previous words they don't indicate thay the character is having sexy thoughts, he is deep in thought about all the pain and suffering his friend is enduring and is able to smile and keep going with her live.
This are not the type of things that make you see sexy images in your head.
What I meant to say is, if he was having sexy thought then there should be happening something sexy the moment before this happend.
I believe this is some kind of small mistake in the end of the chapter.
4677548
Actually, if you kept up with how I've been writing the endings to each chapter, you'd see that each one was more of a hint to what the next chapter will contain.
4678590 Oh, then in that case I will keep reading and wait for what will come next.
"It's not like I care for you or anything. B-baka."
4678590
I'd like to see Caramel fight a Townsend! We would have him on the ground and broken before he could so much as say "Yo"
I laughed at the hellsing joke in there and cried when the part of pinkies past came to light...the last line..does that mean pinkie did white girl?
Twilight your just going to have to face it. Humans are extremely loyal to their cause. The top 2 would be Loved ones or money (sadly). Humans would give their lives for the cause they think is worth it, and there is nothing you can do bout it. And I don't know about you lot, but anyone else getting the vibe that its going to be him, Twi, Pinks and Rare in a herd..... Eventaully. Anyway liking the story so far