Nondis is a man who managed to find himself Equestria. While Twilight and the other princesses try to find him a way home, he realizes that finding a way back is only a minor problem in comparison to his growing attachments to some of the Mane Six.
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...I am not sorry.
Celestia damn these cliffhangers.
6323912
Damn You!! you beautiful bastard...Now I'll have to wait FOREVER until the next chapter
you little cock sucking jizz gargaling cum guzzling sperm sipping fucker!! i love you so much right now!!!!! and i will take one of the little creatures. to keep as a pet
Cadence...did she...Oh wow. You know what, it's starting to feel like Nondis can't win. He can't tell his family out of fear of being disowned/thought of as a deviant. Cadence is insisted that Nondis "work things out" all happily ever after with her sister-in-law, Spike is determined to get him killed, and he can't tell Mealine about Equestria.
Man, the universe really seems to despise him...
" and face the truth" taken from the song.
i really think he should do as the song tells him
Ugh...
So much up and down, emotional swings, epic moments, sad moments. I honestly can't see where things are going, and sometimes I get so annoyed at what Nondis is doing and begin wishing things would just resolve themselves already, and in a way everypony could live happily ever after.
But I don't want this story to end anytime soon, it's just so epic, I can't wait for more.
This cliffhanger...
i.imgur.com/tGMczCY.jpg
Every step you take gets you close to a landmine o3o! Nondis is going to get himself screwed, and not in a good sense, sooner or later.
Twi is about to fuck up... If she pushes her agenda on Non any more hes gonna reject her. If she clashes with Rarara because of this imma be sad, it was her last chance to get at Nondis before he was fully unavailable... She kinda had to go for it.
Why couldn't the "good guy" be decisive in one fucking story for me.
My sisters and mother always said that they got sick and tired of indecisive "good guy" in many stories especially in romance genre...same for me really.
The "bad guy" sometimes is a much more preferable ship than the "good guy" because they are decisive and straight to the point and sometimes they are a better choice all things considered.
6323912 we all know you are not sorry you glorious lovable bastard xD
You are such a beautiful man for realising this so quick, I had just finished reading the last chapter!
You might wanna go over the chapter again, and maybe take out some of those lyrics. The admins usually frown upon people putting song lyrics in their fics as they usually do it to pad out word counts.
But wow. Almost everyone is looking awful now.
Nondis is indecisive as f*ck with what he really wants, constantly being dragged by what he spent years wanting (Melanie), what he feels obligated to have until he starts getting sick of it (Twilight), and... whatever the hell he's doing with Rarity now.
Twilight is in a perfect storm of "First romance ever" and "Princess Approval" bull, and her overpossessiveness of Nondis has gone to creepy levels. But the reader can't help but sypathize with her at least a little because her boyfriend doesn't even know what the hell he wants anymore.
Rarity is just going for what she wants (Nondis) even though she's aware it could totally screw over her friendship with Twilight.
Melanie only decided to go after Nondis after he disappeared and came back. To the point that she KNOWS he's in a relationship, but is going after Nondis anyway.
Spike tried to outright murder Nondis twice, indirectly and directly. Then he pretty much vanished to the point where it seems that no one knows where he is anymore.
Fluttershy & Discord just seem to want to spend most of their time exploring the limits of their fetishes with each other to the point that Nondis spending time with either is a surprise, such as last chapter (albiet briefly).
Cadance is getting fed up with Nondis' crap, since she's had to do damage control for him (for Twilight's sake) since before Nondis was nearly killed by Shining for nearly breaking Twi's vows (the first time). She's aware of the punishment Twilight had to get because her & Nondis both screwed up, yet watches Nondis go on a break so he can play the field while Twilight literally cannot do that due to the Approval Law.
Now, everything that's happened has been shown to be for a reason, but you've got a lot of fingers in a lot of pies. And the changeling storyline still hasn't finished yet either.
My friend, I love your renditions of Rarity. And while I sometimes dislike how you portray Twi as a controlling bitch your stories are really great. But one think I really have to say is that this chapter...
this Bible quote...
This is my personal philosophy with my interest in MLP, open honesty. Why try hide away what bring you joy if in the end you will lose that joy anyways? When it came to religion I never really understood what this meant. Since it was talking about faith, I always thought this meant faith was something you needed to show off or it meant you didn't truly believe. But as I grew older I came to understand what this scripture really meant. When you enjoy or love something, others close to you will know it. You cant help but want to talk about it, or want to seek it out. Like faith my enjoyment of MLP is something that people will learn about whether I want them to or not.
That is unless i hide it. If I try to hide the joy I feel for MLP, or my faith, I will eventually loose that joy. Because it becomes so much pressure to hide it that I eventually associate the pain of repressing what I love with the very thing that I love.
And so I never hide what I feel, because its better if I can be open on my terms than be outed by someone why wants to judge. And the thing is if they want to judge me then i say let them. Because they can never take away the joy I feel. I can only give up that joy.
6324112
Because Decisiveness is not a nice trait. It is choosing to ignore the feelings of the other love interests. "I know you love me but I refuse to acknowledge those feeling because I decided I want the other girl more." When in fact he isn't sure what he feels. Given any minuet of the day those feelings will change. It is why the old adage "Nice guys finish last." exists. A decisive guy is not a kind soft heated hero that wants everyone happy. A decisive guy is the ass hat who knows what he wants and doesn't care about what anyone else feels.
6324291 and let everyone's hearbreak is better?
A great pain but only last a moment is better than a lesser pain but last till the end.
6324296
This is how things usually play out in real life. We don't always see ideal romances, boy meets girl, boy chooses girl, they live happily ever after. Love is a messy thing, that perfection is the exception not the rule. If a stories protagonists always chooses the correct love interest and stuck with them, then wheres the conflict? Whats the story? In works where a protagonists has to choose a love interest among many that choice is the conflict. When he chooses the story is over, so the author has to put in effort to make it 1. believable and 2. compelling. Nondis is feeling real human emotion, he cant just write off those he cares about even though someone may get hurt, that makes it believable and relateable. Also, we want to see if he chooses some one, not just assume hes going to end up with Twilight, that's what makes this compelling. But no matter how he chooses, feeling will be hurt and the longer he wait the more pain will be felt by everyone. But that too is what drives the story.
6324315 believable? it is very much subjective...
since when was the subject of this conversation is this story have to be this and that?
I just stated that i am sick and tired of these indecisiveness...decisiveness in a person isn't a bad trait as long as you keep it at the right level. What you are saying is putting the wrong label of asshole on decisive people....YOU DON't FUCK AROUND and let the PROBLEM GROW because of your INDECISIVENESS.
6324317 Choosing exactly what you truly want isn't easy, especially for a character like Nondis, who is new to all of this.
6324321 The common sterotype for many good guy or hero characters really...escpecially the white knight..
6324317
I am saying that a decisive person wouldn't be in the center of this conflict. You asked why stories you read don't have decisive people in them, its because there would be no story to tell. Nondis chooses to be with Twilight, he was open with everyone he cared about and everything was resolved. The End. No one would write this story because there isn't anything really interesting about it. Indecisiveness is a negative trait used to drive conflict.
But if you think you can write a compelling story revolving around multiple romances without using the indecisive trait Id be more than happy to see it because the only other way to go about it would be, harem, or have the guy two timeing everyone.
6324336 *raise eyebrown* never said i was a writer....I only said that I have been waiting for someone to write the damn thing.
6324336
That's really not true, at least for this fic. Nondis' indecision about the women around him, to the point where his own brain seems to be getting tired of his sh*t, is only one of the plot threads of this fic, albiet a very prominent one. Nondis' story could have been about his struggle to keep, and ultimate failure of, his relationship to Twilight despite their hardest to try to make things work. They have been at the tipping point for quite some time, and it's only by the grace of others that they are still "together", the latest one being Cliff & Rickey telling Twilight after that last blowup.
Nondis was thrown into an incredibly atypical situation, even for most HiE fics: his attempt to date Twilight led directly to a marriage approval due to a law that he was only half aware of and that no one, not even Twilight, was willing to tell him until after he was too far into it to back out of without hurting Twilight. The both of them, like Romeo & Juliet, got caught up in the passion of their relationship, until they took it too far and they had sex, screwing them both royally in the end. Twilight got her wings clipped (perhaps not permanently, given magic) and her neurocies about Nondis got worse. Nondis finally lost his virginity, but it seemed he started realizing that he & Twi had fundamental issues in their relationship, which he was largely blind to until after he dicked her.
If Nondis made the hard decision to end his relationship with Twilight, that would still be a valid, dramatic direction for the story to get into, especially if Nondis DID to court someone else, like Pinkie or Rarity or, hell, even Sunset.
But as is, he's too wishy-washy to completely cut all romantic ties with Melanie, he barely saved Pinkie's relationship with Cheese (if that), is too soft in letting Rarity do everything for him to the point of spending all of her own money (and further pissing off Spike), and would rather try to have his cake and eat it too when it comes to Twilight, despite the "break" being a terrible decision in nearly every regard. That is why there are people who wish he'd finally stop jerking all those girls around.
6324025 It would help if Nondis wasnt such a spineless abusive little worm.
Nondis dun goofed
Well shit. Dat ending.
6324191 I didn't even know that was an intention. I never even thought of padding a word count with lyrics. Honestly I was trying to let the reader's imagination work out how the song would be transcribed from vocal to piano. But again, the past few chapters are expanding upon
And to be realistic, he was decisive at first. He cut his ties from the start and made his primary focus Twilight. It was when he saw the troubles of his marriage situation after they broke the rules in a night, that was when he had started to see the consequence of his actions and how it could all come biting back at him. Secondary thoughts ensue due to the relationship not going well. Because of Twilight's frustration being misdirected towards Nondis, he decided that he had enough of it.
So then comes the treading-of-the-waters thing. It may sound unreasonable, but in relationship counseling it's one of the more optimal decisions you could make. It presents you with the options of laying down ground rules (which MC did), establish boundaries (which MC did), and left it as a mutual decision (currently in progress). Just realize that these things are often a two-edged sword and the result could be painful to both parties involved.
There are things we all do that we look back and frown upon. We see our errors and think "What the hell was I smoking?" But it's because of those mistakes that we become wiser, smarter, and adapt to similar situations in the future. That is how we humans operate, our indecisiveness becomes a weakness, but it teaches us critical thinking. You don't learn this stuff overnight, you slowly become better at it. It's like everything else you do, walking, speaking, writing, playing an instrument or sport, typing, lying, anything that requires a learning process. And the MC indecisiveness will have him to become significantly wiser and more sensitive as to how to address the situation.
Though it may yet come at a price...
Poor Twilight... How many times is going Nondis to break her heart and spirit?
Oh
...Oh.
Ooooh shit
6323912 I hope you die in a pit of fire..
but not until after this is over, cuz I hope it continues, you wonderful bastard sir, dont have a nice day.
Man, Nondis really needs to grow a pair of balls and just cut ties with Melanie, nut up and shut up and tell Twilight to either stop being ungodly neurotic and accept the fact that the law that pretty much forced her and Nondis together is tearing him apart along with herself or cut the ties that bind the two together and find someone else she can pretty much force her will upon, Rarity needs to just take Nondis already because she to me has the best chance of at least giving him a normal life (as normal as it possibly can be), tell his parents to go choke on a dick and stop pressing their beliefs and wants onto him, and finally tell Spike to either make a move on Rarity and stop hiding his love for her in the shadows or stop pursuing her and move on. All in my opinion anyways.
Its bad enough that he is risking his life by fighting the changelings and also dealing with the bullshit of politics for a few certain ponies but god damn dude, either man the fuck up and deal with your problems and baggage or just drop it all off and go home and deal with being a boring person again.
You are evil with the cliffhangers, aren't you?
Nondis you are very ded, not big suprise
As much as I like suspense, I think it's about time Nondis started telling the truth. If everyone freaks out, maybe he should just stay in Equestria. I do rather miss him and Twilight spending time together.
esreality.com/files/placeimages/2013/97556-SAW-IT-COMING.jpg
Gah this is going to be a mess I can already see where this could go
though his conscience has a point he has to come clean sooner or later!
just gonna leave this here for those who want to read it again.
6324613 But the thing is you make Nondis feel less intelligent....That is what annoying.
Well, I like this version of bohemian rhapsody
But, I think he didn't played something similar to this XD.
6323912 It's ending moments like that I hate where the story could head.
Enough that I'll admit I might quit reading, though it would be out of personal experiences getting hit the wrong way.
This has done well and lived up to it's title quite well, but if Twilight lets herself get screwed by a greedy noble, even pregnant from such, because she's heartbroken over Nondis doing this or something else, I'd have to walk away.
Excellent job, excellent chapter, do continue good sir.
So, there's more drama to this story now than a few soap operas airing on TV added together. It's nearly to the point where I'm trying to figure out what the point of this story is, as it has gotten so mired in the drama and personal woes of Nondis that I just don't see it anymore. What I thought was shaping up to be a romance story between a human dropped into Equestria and Twilight Sparkle has become this... mess of a train wreck. We've got 47 chapters now, and the last... half dozen to a dozen haven't really been all that enjoyable. It's getting to the point that if things don't start finding any sense of clarity or resolution soon, I'll probably just move on from it. I just don't understand it. The levels they've had to go to even be 'approved' to date, Twilight's wings being sheared, Nondis risking life and limb... you just keep fucking pissing all over it with this wishy washy nonsense, and then you have one of Twilight's friends, Rarity, go and do this now. I'm sorry, TSA, but you just keep writing stuff that seems completely at odds with prior established events, destroying their earlier perceived value in the process. Plus, isn't Nondis supposed to be helping with abolishing the law that got Twilight punished in the first place? Why even bother if all he's going to do is keep trampling over Twilight's heart? I understand that every story needs some sort of conflict, but that's all I'm seeing here. Conflict and drama, with nothing else in sight. I honestly don't see how you'll salvage the whole Nondis and Twilight thing, not with the trend of these last dozen chapters, and they are the entire reason I've even stuck around to read the story this long. I'm not saying the issues are not valid, mind you, but I feel like there really hasn't been any progress made on resolving anything. It's more Twilight going 'I miss you Nondis, let's try to spend time together' while he just keeps going 'Fuck off, Twilight, we're on a break.' And that's it. This has been annoying me more and more, thus the somewhat rant here for your pleasure/displeasure, however you take it, now that events have once more escalated along those same lines, with Nondis once more being an ever increasing fucking dick in regards to Twilight.
6324191 6324613 Actually, it's the copyright issues involved. We'll knock people who try and submit a story with almost all copywrited / lyrics not of their own design, as it means they've barely written anything themselves. A sentence of a copywrited here and there is fine, but not an entire song.
We all know he's gotta catch 'em all. Even Chrysalis!...
...
...
...why not?
You amazing sick twisted fuck. I fucking love you
First thing you do after narrowly escaping having a heartattack and having to explain to your friend about a bunch of multi-colored ponies, that are still currently in your room mind you, is to go fiddle with your computer and look up Five Nights at Freddy's.
Yeah. Real smart dude.
On the upside, Yay Inner Nondis is back! I really like that guy. Why hasn't he appeared more often?
On another note, I hate my brain for immediately imagining Rarity's secret being that she has a penis. It's so wrong and I'm ashamed of myself for being so perverted, but god knows she'll look even hotter with it.
Somebody get the God choir because someone fucked up on biblical proportions.
That being said. I honest think Nondis is about to have a meltdown. And everyone needs to see it. I mean while nine yards the bitch.
And the wait for the dang next chapter since I have a feeling miss princess of love ratted the boy out.
Awwwwwwwww crap, now things have officialy gone straight to Tartarus.
Here's how I look at things.
Nondis and Twilight have no idea what they want. Nondis latched onto Twilight when Melanie rejected him and Twilight did the same when Flash rejected her. They both figured that they were not going to do any better, so they went to the first person that gave them comfort. The situation has now changed.
Nondis actually has options now in terms of romantic interest. Rarity, Twilight, Melanie, Pinkie (assuming she breaks up with Cheese) all have shown interest and now he owes it to himself to see what he wants in a potential mate. He didn't have that option before so it makes sense why he's so conflicted.
Twilight has basically become what Nondis used to be before he came to Equestria. She's possessive towards one person and cannot even fathom going after someone else (the same way Nondis was towards Melanie and Spike is towards Rarity). Things might get real ugly in the future.
On one hand, I applaud the author for not having the main character settle for the first love interest that so many stories seem to do. Sometimes the first choice is not always the best one and if you're not happy, you should look elsewhere. It happens so frequently in real life but rarely in fiction and it's a nice change of pace.
On the other hand, Nondis really has to make up his mind. He cannot string these girls along as they have feelings as well and it could end up jeopardizing the friendships that they have already made. He already has so many things to deal with like the portal, fighting the changelings, getting the marriage law abolished, and juggle all these relationships. No normal human can handle all that and that could lead to a meltdown of epic proportions.
Hopefully he figures all of this out soon.