Nondis is a man who managed to find himself Equestria. While Twilight and the other princesses try to find him a way home, he realizes that finding a way back is only a minor problem in comparison to his growing attachments to some of the Mane Six.
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I think the pacing for this one is a little slow. Damn it all.
Dammit Kanye!
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(BTW, it's magic. They don't have to explain shit.)
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Time for rape!!!!
Another good chapter. Now the real fun begins with the weapons testing.
...and Equestria declared war on humanity.
Or turned a couple of monkeys into love slaves.
Whichever.
In my case, I think that pase its ok for the story.
Not much about Celestia? About Celestia much fans that read stories know what to say about her... Like for example. She is something like a chess or a dungeon master, with a neutral face that can make everyone question what is she think and under a child and sisterly personality, very serious when she need, worried by her little ponies and worse that Luna and Twilight when she is in rage
Looking forward to the next one.:D
This gun show has been teased for way too much time, I'd love for the story to pick up some speed...
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Eagerly awaiting next chapter. Should be lots of fun with Cliff and Ricky, but when's Melanie gonna find out? That'll be an interesting day...
6021565 I'm with ya there
Can't wait for this weapons demonstration.
Cliff... you just keep making me proud.
Haven't we all wondered at at least once how Celestia and Luna's mane even does that? Cause that shit's cool!
6033289 Back in Chapter 21, Nondis and Shining did share a drink, but there were words and bits of dialog exchanged between the two of them that indicated that they were fine with being rivals. Here's what was said:
Shining: "I didn't think you would be so forgiving."
Nondis: "Now I didn't say that I forgave you just yet. But eventually, I might."
Later there was an exchange of words during a toast:
Nondis: "May I always kick your ass in every spar."
Shining: "You got that ass-backwards, dumb fuck."
And in Nondis' viewpoint: We downed our drinks and shared a laugh with one another. At least I have a drinking partner alongside this rivalry. I'm perfectly fine with that.
Meanwhile in Chapter 35, there's this exchange between Nondis, Luna, and Blueblood where the latter individual points out how he speaks to Nondis based off of Shining's interaction with him.
Nondis: "So how you doing, jackass?"
Blueblood: "It's not a matter of how, but more of whom. And the answer to that is your mother."
Nondis: "Sorry, my mom doesn't associate with eunuchs."
Luna: "Enough of it, both of you. The last thing I need to hear is the two of you exchanging insults at one another."
Blueblood: "Well, Shining Armor says that this is how he communicates with Nondis. I figured that since they appear to have a bit of fun spouting vulgarities and insults at one another, I took it as a human method of greeting."
So no, Nondis hasn't exactly forgotten what Shining had put him through (especially since the spar was like between nine to twelve days ago in the storyline). If anything, Shining opens up because he realizes that he was wrong. But that doesn't mean that he's willing to lose to Nondis at every turn. Shining is very prideful at times, it's even hinted at in the show.
I just binge-read the shit outta this whole story so far, and I'm hooked. Keep it up.
6036424 So, Twilight will never be able to fly again? That's messed up.
6036604 Actually, it does hamper the flight, but it does allow the bird to glide still. This is different from pinioning (where the wing is cut from the carpal, permanently disabling flight. And since wings in the MLP world can feel pain, clipping does cause a bit of discomfort (especially since they're often used as make-shift hands).
EDIT: I would also like to add that the feathers can be molted, thus allowing one to regain flight. So this kind of thing is a temporary measure. So I guess you could say that Twilight is grounded.
Yeah, I could tell that you were having some trouble writing this chapter, it seemed just a bit more forced compared to the previous ones.
All the same, it was actually pretty good, and was done a lot better compared to other stories that have been plagued by writer's block or the like.
The interactions were my favorite parts, as were the descriptions of the weapons. Still, I couldn't help but think that there was just a certain lacking of je ne sais quoi in this chapter compared to the previous ones.
But either way, thanks for the update all the same. And I'm happily looking forward to more.
6037934 It's more of that plus life taking up more of my writing time.
So it needs a little more je ne sais quoi (I don't know what)? What should I add?
Yeah, real life can be one hell of a bitch. I'm going through some problems myself right now.
As to what I think you should add, I honestly have no idea. That's pretty much why I chose that word, because there was just something about the past chapters that this current one was lacking, and I literally don't have a clue as to what that certain something is.
If I had to take a guess off of the top of my head, then I suppose it was something regarding their reaction with certain events, maybe. Still, I'm pretty sure that it's just me, and I did admittedly read the chapter in the middle of the night after I just woke up to pee. (heh, alliteration) I'll re-read the chapter again, and see whether I was just imagining it or something.
Thanks for responding so quickly, and I can't wait to read the next chapter.
I have to give you some serious fucking credits, it is a rare occasion when someone writes shit that can make a person honestly want the main character to come out on top, aswell as make them giggle like a Japanese school girl whose senpai just noticed her.
Look at his horse. His horse is amazing.
Note to self: under no circumstance whatsoever are Cliff nor Ricky to be used for 1st contact missions. And if Faust herself was to tell to send them you should just tell her to go buck herself!
She likes... big GUNS and she can not lie...
MC has the louse to navigate international and internal politics, but an unregulated inter dimensional immigration crisis rife with potential inter dimensional technological espionage of drastic consequences lands on his literal doorstep and he doesn’t see it coming…
Also, Rarity, you played that off like a boss. Twilight is still going to win.