A/N: now with voice reading by "TheCaptainSand". Listen to his wonderfully dulcet british tones and his hilarious Applejack impression here. Thanks again, Cap!

Due to slightly contrived circumstances, Maud Pie becomes Equestria's fifth, newest (*cough* best *cough*) alicorn princess. Inducted, she will face the most dangerous, diabolical threat anypony has ever devised:

The legal system.

Will she be as stoic as ever? Will she be able to handle the crushing paperwork? Will Pinkie get to plan her coronation party?! Only one thing is for certain:

Rocks.

Many, many rocks.

Oh, and an attempted assassination and eventual plot to take over the world as we know it.

But mostly rocks.

XXXXXXXX

Just a little something I came up with. I apologize if it has errors, i haven't had much time to edit. I did fix it up as best as I could, though.

Hope you laugh! (If not, I apologize. Maud comedy is kind of hard to write, considering that... y'know. She's Maud.)

EDIT: Featured 10/9! My second featured story, and it only took me 8 months to do it! WOO-HOO!

EDIT 2: Holy crap. as of 10/21, my story is so popular that is in the realm of being in the featured box every time it gets updated. Can't thank you guys enough, cliche as it sounds.

"Despite his ferocious appearance, Emperor Spike is a kind and fair ruler."

"Our Lord may be a dragon, but he united us under a single banner and protect us from harm."

"You can only rule with either fear or love, he took the hard way and chose to rule with love."

Spike, The Crystal Emperor, is loved and respected by all his subjects, rightfully so. But what drove him to become what he is today?

*If you are feeling generous you can buy me a Ko-Fi!!

*Short One-Shot*
**Cover Art doesn't belong to me but I had the permission to use it, go visit the creator and the artist that color it**

Author Note: This is something new I wanted to try. Contains 10% human, 90% ponies, and 100% fun-filled, cuddlelicious goodness. Not suitable for those allergic to cuddles. Please consult your physician before reading.

A young university student suddenly finds himself thrown from his homework studies into a land filled with more colour than Gears Of War, talking ponies with ridiculously huge eyes, and topped with so many cuddles that it makes Care Bears look like Michael Myers.

And for some reason, all of them come to the conclusion that he must be smothered in cookies and cream-delicious cuddles.

For some, it's heaven; for Jamie, it's his own little plane of hell that makes even Satan feel torment.

Inspired by Forced Pony Cuddles

Yay! Thank you guys so much for getting this fic in the featured box! You all deserve huge amounts of cuddles. And you're gonna enjoy it!

When things don't go the way we hoped for, it's easy for ones mind to become clouded with grief. It's times like these that all seems lost with no way of recovery. However, sometimes, the thing that one needs most is someone to talk to. Someone who will listen to your aching heart. When the invasion of Canterlot didn't go as Chrysalis had planned, she placed a heavy weight on her heart that nopony would ever be willing to lift, nopony, except Doughnut Joe, that is.

Trees shorter than they should be, buildings smaller than preferred, a world filled with creatures bigger than him, yet others are near microscopic from his perspective.

Trying to find out where he should fit in is hard, because he is not too small, but most definitely bigger than most. Once he connects to the dominant civilization, a whole new world of opportunities is revealed before him.

He will walk as a giant. He will walk with giants. He will walk alone.

Edited by Newbiedoodle, CheesewedgeFTW, Immortan Joe, and Silas

Discord's the only creature in Equestria who can recognize the human for what he is -- not the long-lost Seventh Element that never actually existed and couldn't have existed before the human arrived, but a meta-reality warper, an entity far more powerful than Discord with the power to warp the minds of all around him and the very rules of magic to make sure that he's always the Big Hero. And the role the human's assigned to Discord is the Villain to beat down or kill.

Pre-reform Discord's fine with being the villain. But on his own terms. Not dancing on some alien interloper's puppet strings.

Without friendship, or even allies, Discord's going to have to find a way to defeat a creature who can alter fate itself and who can even mind-control him. Or he may just end up worse than dead.

Art by Tenchi-Outsuno. Progress Bar at my writing journal.

Trigger warnings: Mind control (magically induced love, magically induced friendship, magically induced stupidity, Discord being Discord), noncon/dubcon (magically induced love, other forms of highly dubious consent), rape (female on male), violence/gore (mostly against Discord), literally everything in chapters 19-21, humans not being presented as unilaterally wonderful and superior to ponies and/or draconequui.

Have you ever seen a pony that just seemed out of place? Perhaps some mannerism, some behaviour that just struck you as odd? Some piece of clothing that didn't seem quite right? perhaps a coat or mane whose colour just seemed flat-out weird. A strange build, a strange voice, or maybe they were perfectly normal, except that you swear you just saw the exact same pony not five seconds ago somewhere completely different?

Of course you have. Everypony has encountered an Outsider at some point. But never up close, it's always at a distance, and they're always gone before you have the chance to challenge them.

But sometimes the rules get broken. Sometimes fate gets distracted for a moment, and a lone unicorn mare gets to see something that she was never meant to see.

Twilight Sparkle's day is about to get very weird.

FAQ and Supplemental Materials (Potential Spoilers for new readers)

Featured! Twice!
...I really don't know what to say!

Special Thanks go to Horizon for initial proof-reading, editing, and signal-boosting, provided as a prize for spotting an Easter egg in his story Hard Reset II. Seriously, it's an awesome, brain-warping story and you should go read it right now.

Thanks also go to my editors for putting up with my atrocious grammar and spelling errors - Ganelon, Ephraim Blue, BronyWhooves, Commonancestry, Princess Autumn Forest, and Morning Sun

Cover art credit goes to EMedina13 and tamalesyatole. I am looking for more appropriate art, so If you think you can do better, let me know.

Michelle Winters has had a rough life. And upon finding out that magic is real, she discovers just how interesting a transdimensional pen pal can be. And how life-saving they can become.

(Not gonna spoil the first chapter in the intro. :3 )

( This actually came onto me after listening to Pull Me Through by Aftermath. Amazing, powerful song.)

Twilight loved visiting Canterlot castle's royal library. The library received new books often, making every visit like a new adventure in her literary mind. She was almost jumping with joy when she saw the tall book cases containing the latest information written from many of the highly intellectual individuals in Equestria. In a matter of minutes, she had a cart full of books that sparked her never-ending interest. Turning the corner to the next shelf, she froze.

Standing in front of the shelf was a tall creature with piercing blue eyes, battle-aged gold armor, and a large, worn out halberd leaning against the shelf. It was reading a book intently. The creature sensed the frozen pony's presence, and turned its head. Its eyes locked on to Twilight's.

"Hello. How do you do?"

Cover art credit to Raptorbane's deviantART
Big thanks to my editor, Word Worthy.

After a recently thwarted assassination attempt against Rarity, Twilight and Rarity discuss the soldier's uncertain future as the queen's private bodyguard.

Part of the Bodyguard!AU Series, based on Earthsong9405's AU where Twilight is the bodyguard to a "Princess/Queen Rarity". Prior knowledge of the AU is not necessary to read the story.