• Member Since 25th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen July 24th

NightsongWrites


I love the MLP fandom, and I love all of you! I'm so grateful to have all my followers as we go down a rabbit hole of romance, adventure, and world-building!

T
Source

Michelle Winters has had a rough life. And upon finding out that magic is real, she discovers just how interesting a transdimensional pen pal can be. And how life-saving they can become.

(Not gonna spoil the first chapter in the intro. :3 )

( This actually came onto me after listening to Pull Me Through by Aftermath. Amazing, powerful song.)

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 139 )

Pretty good so far now wow me!

Ok, good, good so far, though I think the relationship was a bit rushed....you need to develop that they have feelings for each other a bit better, please.

Otherwise, solid job! MORE SOON PLEASE!!!

4934291 you realize that this was the first chapter right? And that we just saw a summary of 4 years worth of exchanged letters? Im sure we'll get more explainations in future chaps^^

Oh man, I totally thought this was complete!
Can't wait to see more.

I have a question for everyone. Would you prefer this stayed Teen? Or would anyone like it to go Mature and get a bit more... in-depth? ^___~

4937431 I, myself, would prefer it stayed teen and be kept away from the mature area. I think fluff is much more appealing than... that other stuff. Any way, good work, I couldn't spot any punctuation or writing errors, and I can be a real hawk for those sometimes.

Huh, when I saw what was happening with the portal, I almost expected her to be a unicorn.

Hey, I can't help but notice a small issue with your story's cover picture... the source seems to have the wrong link. I'm sure my friend Rain-Gear would be happy to let you use his picture as cover art if you asked, but you really should source it correctly.

4938543

Eep! My bad! Thanks for letting me know. XD

While I would have liked to have seen some of Twilight's responses, I am intrigued by this one. In a few of these styles of stories, the human that is pulled through often has a relatively normal life.

More or less.

This is a unique take. I will follow this tale and see how it goes.

Depending on how the next chapter goes, I may fave it as well! :twilightsmile:

Huh, a human fiction... let the judging begin!

- 1 Chapter Later -

Huh... I liked it...

~ Neon Lights

This is a very interesting idea, but you lost me when you wrote letters as if people were speaking. Having written a fair amount of letters myself, I can assure you that pen pals don't write things like this:

The theory is sound, but… You really think… No. No, you wouldn’t send this unless you thought there was at least a chance, I know you. It’s been four years since we’ve started talking like this. This weird, crazy, wonderful exchange of thoughts and letters. I… I’m not sure what to call this.

Written as a proper letter, these sentences should be like this:

The theory is sound, but I'm unsure. No, you wouldn't send this unless you thought there was at least a chance, I know you. It's been four years since we've started taling like this. This weird, crazy, wonderful exchange of thoughts and letters. I'm not sure what to call this.

You see, people don't stammer in their writing unless they're roleplaying over Skype.

This.

The world needs more of this.

4941004

And this is why I adore commentators. Thanks!

4941004 Nice. Hmn. The story is incomplete. What do you think on the necessity of a secondary chapter?

4941441 Second chapter? This story could very easily have many chapters. It is, after all, a Human in Equestria story (albeit with a pony-ized human).

However, for more chapters to work, this one will have to be fleshed out a bit; we went from Michelle writing letters to Twilight via magical transdimensional portals to falling in love with her to actually joining her (Twilight) in Equestria. For this to work, we, as readers, need to see more interaction between them before the love-birds start to sing and before Michelle decides she wants to go to Equestria.

hmmm, i need to find a song that fits this fic so can play it while reading....

4942681 So...more backstory? Personally, I think the story, I mean chapter, would have worked if it was kept in a letter format. As it is, it rings true of a basic idea that's meant to be developed. The author could release more of the situation, gradually showing the backstory...but there are ways in which that doesn't work. Though that is my suggestion, I think you have a different idea on how this could work.

I loved it, but at the same time, I have this cliff-note of the ending in my head going. "Hey, I just met you in person for the first time so let's make out!"

Want more despite that stupid little imp in my skull.

4943900

Personally, I think the story, I mean chapter, would have worked if it was kept in a letter format. As it is, it rings true of a basic idea that's meant to be developed.

Exactly. I think this chapter, as the first chapter of this story, should be all letters, and include responses from Twilight so we see how their relationship begins and grows. Considering the obvious importance of their relationship here, this would flesh out the characters better.

4946515 You know that may have dragged it on, though. It's a fine balance between adding to a story and filler. I like that the letters were sent one way and that we basically read only one side of the story. If the time were paced out, (meaning a lot more letters), your idea might work...otherwise we'll be looking at a mess. Perspective is a big deal with a fic like this. You can't easily get involved in something when you expect the drama an idea like yours brings... If you can get invested in it, maybe, but you can't guarantee a long-lived audience.

Something immediate has to be done. I'd suggest keeping the letter format and changing to an observant view. As in: third-party involvement. I'm loathe to admit it, but this definitely isn't my best idea. For a basis maybe, but can you come up with something better?

Well she definitely found the right ponies to help her fit in and to settle her in to her new home in Postville.:yay:

So heartwarming; we need more of this 'simple' heartwarming romance... eeeee... :yay:

oh shiet, already loving this!

I kinda expected Pinkie to be the one to bust in after Dash left^^

I'm enjoying the story a bit, but there is no way anyone can go through that severe a change and be that calm through the whole thing. There is going to be a panic stage and major adjustments to be made.

4948022

It'l come up in the story more, but Michelle was in a serious depression by the time of the portal incident. There has been little stress mostly because she's giddy over the fact that her old stress (work, death of her family, etc...) is gone. It's a change, but her brain had been wanting a change, in a major way, so it's handling the body change easier.

4948050 don't neglect her grieving. It hasn't been a long enough time for her to be done grieving.

i loved this! i love this story! although, maybe try renaming the chapter so that the name of who the new focus is in parenthesis? just to make it easier?

Wow, that was a fast update. I turn on my laptop to find that there's a new chapter, and two hours later another one pops up. I still think the story is going good.

Actually.. I like this idea, you could make something a lot more than what you were originally intending if you keep this up.:pinkiehappy:

Okay, this intrigued me more. This chapter is the one that lands you on my favorites list, by the way, as I like the divergence. I am curious if Twilight's initial portal suddenly sprouted other sub-portals throughout. Equestria. :pinkiehappy:

Don't you dare apologize. Sure, it would be nice to revisit characters who have been pulled through, but this idea is AWESOME.

Of course, you can only do so many before it becomes old hat. Either way, I trust your judgement on where the story should go. It hasn't led us astray so far.

hmm, let's see how many are gonna get pulled through......

This is a pretty good idea, and I always love some OctaScratch. What's even better is that this is a pretty unique twist on the normal fare.

Ultimately what you could do is take the premise you got here with the story, and expand it, keeping tabs on each of the groups chapter to chapter, while marking the group the chapter contains.

Though you could also keep it to just these two groups; Michelle and the Mane 6, Octavia, Vinyl and the others.

Of course, that's only if you expanded on the Octavia story rather than just leaving it a one shot in the fic.

That's....a really interesting idea. Keep it going, maybe have them meet?

I wonder who else in Equestria was originally a human^^ Also I like the addition of Derpy (or Ditzy whatever you prefer^^) to their group^^ Its always good to have that mare around^^

First reaction on finishing the first chapter: "Awwww!! :yay: :heart:"

The being saaaaaaid...you could've fleshed it out just a tiny bit better. =3 But hey, I've only read the first chapter so far, so what do I know. xD Keep up the good work! :3

4946789 Ultimately, though, what makes a writer post his works here? Everyone is different, but for most people it's not about getting an audience, but rather expressing yourself and feeling the accomplishment of publishing your art for the world to see.

Hopefully the author will read some of our discussion and find something helpful as he further writes for this story.

Interesting. :twilightsmile:

I think if you keep the focus just on the Mane Six, OctaScratch (and Derpy? :derpyderp2: ), then you'll be fine. Really, really REALLY enjoying this story, though, just for how goshdarn cute(!!!) it is. :yay:

Keep up the good work! :3

4954398

Thanks! :twilightblush:

I really enjoy writing this story, and I do have a bit of a plot for it, but... I'm really trying to do something new, and work on my romance writing. :trollestia:

4955034

I'm really trying to do something new, and work on my romance writing. :trollestia:

Tha's just fine and dandy, sugarcube. :ajsmug:

You're doing a good job so far. Take your time, but don't rush anything. Let it all flow naturally.

Someone's gotta get their kick ass bow-tie.

“OH GODDESS BON-BON! POUR THAT CHOCOLATE FASTER! FOR OUR LIVES, MARE!”
Despite the urgency of their cooking, Vinyl Scratch was having the time of her life. Octavia had one massive sweet tooth, and a TARTARUS of a repressed fun side buried under all the shyness. Currently buried up to her eyeballs in whipped cream covered, strawberry preserved, freshly baked waffles, Octavia was devouring the food with all the grace of a food processor, joyous tears in her eyes.

Gah, this story is just so cute! :yay: Now, as weird as this sounds...

This story could use some feels as well. Like...the sad kind. Maybe you could go into Michelle's past a little bit, before she met Twilight(?). Can't be all rainbows, ponies (HAH! :rainbowlaugh: ) and sunshine. :'3

Unless you have that planned, of course. Then feel free to totally ignore my comment. xD

That waffle scene. I was not prepared.

...

I dunno.
So if someone sent you comments through fimfic for four years... Would the Author make out with them?
*ponders*:moustache:

4956008 One does not simply get a bow tie. They are earned through moments of extreme class and/or badassery. I am certain Octavia will fill both categories in one fell swoop. We must be patient.

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