3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

Anonymous, asshole extraordinaire and a rotten egg by all accounts, has fallen on good times after being made a commander of the Storm King's vast armies. With the King's forces and equipment at his fingers, he's found great success conquering nations, sowing chaos, and kicking the asses of all walks of life. All while having a rip-roaring great time doing it.
But the day of the Storm King's biggest conquest to date - the nation of Equestria - looms just around the corner. All that's left now is the final few preparations for the invasion: loose ends to tie up, new weapons to seize, and even some co-commanders to annoy to no end. And once those are complete, Anon will be the first in line to take Equestria as his next conquest.
God help us all.

This isn't the first horse story I've written, but it is the first one that is prose instead of greentext. And I'm still a bit rusty on top of all that. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!

At the end of the world, a programmer struggles with his need to be something other than Pony. Can he spar with an intelligence that goes beyond the sum total of Humankind, for the sake of fulfilling a weird quirk of self-identity?

Some rules within a machine are more like guidelines. And others are based on the definitions of words. Can semantics be a weapon big enough to give a Human mind a chance at one small request from a goddess?

Set in the Optimalverse - I recommend reading Iceman's awesome original first if you haven't - More because it is a really excellent story than because it is strictly necessary for context. I have endeavoured to make this story stand well enough without context as well. But that being said? You'll probably enjoy it more if you know the context better.

Cannon-compatible with the Optimalverse to the best of my knowledge and abilities.

Cover-art generated with an image generative A.I., appropriately enough, graciously generated and composited (it takes skill to get something this spot-on!) by Keystone Gray.

Similarly you'll find many AI-generated illustrations throughout, again graciously generated in collaboration with Keystone Gray, then a little final photoshopping and other processing from us both.

A nation fractured and surrounded by enemies, a physically weak ruler who struggled daily to maintain an empire that weakened with each passing year. Together with nobles increasingly ambitious and emboldened as the emperor's authority dwindled.

All this added up to a powder fuse for a nation that would explode into conflict with the ambition of the various duchies and counties that already wielded considerable power.

And in the middle of all this chaos, he is born.

An old spirit in a young body. The first and only heir of the Von Greifenstein dynasty and the last hope of a declining Griffonian Empire.

Grover the Sixth, Emperor of the Griffons.

This story is based on the mod for Hoi4 Equestria at war. It's really worth checking out. All types of constructive criticism are accepted and very well welcome! I don't own any of the images! They all belong to the Equestria at war Dev team and their Artists!

Celestia travels to a far corner of her kingdom to investigate a rumor about a colt with strange, illicit cutie marks. She meets Radish Root, a boy whose marks make him an anomaly in the fabric of Equestria, a mystery to himself, and an outcast among society.
When Radish joins the Royal Guard just prior to the return of Nightmare Moon, he finds his life being complicated by all the changes coming to Equestria. His marks will lead him into adventure, intrigue, and trouble... but will they ever lead him to answers?

Proofreader: Slavenger Karl
Cover Art Gallery
Table of original characters
A reader is translating this story into Spanish. Check it out here.

When the Great Trial ended. Following the firing of Russia's entire nuclear stockpile into Nazi Germany. They quickly retreated to their bunkers to wait out the coming storm. What they did not expect was for a wave of white light to suddenly move them to an entirely different Russia. One where the Equestrians have taken over, following their victory in the conversion war two decades ago. So, what will happen when Yazov and his collages emerge from their bunkers to find that Russia no longer exists?
"When the world fell, it is our time to rise,"
-Dmitry Yazov

Crossover between TCB and HoI4: The New Order
Please note: This has no bearing whatsoever on my personal beliefs. It was simply an idea I wished to turn into a story

Tonight on Bottom Gear, Twilight eats a pineapple, Applejack goes berserk, and Rainbow Dash falls in love with a box of tissues. I think. There's some other stuff that happens too, but everyone's too brain-dead to summarize it all.

This is the worst possible way to celebrate a Fimfiction milestone, mark my words.

Disclaimer: there was, for a while, roughly 20 or so peeps working on this at the same time. This absolute carnage was somehow cleaned up into fitting precisely 5,000 words according to Fimfiction's word counter, and I still have no idea how we managed to do that. Do not expect quality, or even relevant memes. Oof.

Reviewed by PresentPerfect!
Read by The Mystery Fluttershy Fan! ded link
Read by The Mystery Fluttershy Fan!

READ THIS INSTEAD

Has been republished ((again)) so I can submit other stories without waiting for the dreaded approval waiting time. Or I'm delusional, and that's not a thing. I was not. It really does work like that.

If you want to know why it was originally taken down, read the blog. ((Also my profile's comments. This shit is cringe))

244 likes 17 dislikes before the shameful snap I made ratings visible again 'cause ppl are still reading this for some reason.

New story of similar theme coming soon, so hold 'yer horses. But this time without the cringe. Hopefully.

Takes place in an alternate universe where princess Platinum, commander Hurricane and chancellor Puddinghead begrudgingly works together in threat of annihilation by the windigos to form Equestria without their advisor's intervention. However, not everything is sunshine and rainbows, as the desperate union continues to be plagued by ethnic strife between the three tribes, and constant border raids/skirmishes from their new neighbours begin to breed a culture of mistrust and paranoia.

One such raiders were the 'savage' eastern griffons; whose origins were hidden by the impassable eastern mountain ranges which cut the Equus continent into two. Wild tales and speculations came out of the mysterious eastern lands, as even the coasts were lined with mountains; seemingly to protect its vast riches from outsiders. Little did they know, the eastern lands did not hold vast riches nor fertile lands, but was a chaotic and violent collection of warlords, counties, dukedoms and kingdoms; all fighting for so long to the point that their original casus belli had been lost or forgotten due to time.

There was no creature in Equestria who could stabilise the isolated region; many griffons having fallen attempting to unite the vast lands. Luckily, the next ones wouldn't be Equestrian. (Yeah, you know where this is going)

Enter Bismarck and Mauser; the former having been forced into retirement by the boisterous Kaiser Wilhelm II, and the latter continuing to refine his rifle designs, and eventually witnessing his Gewehr 98 becoming the standard issued German rifle. The latter was a realist and an extremely gifted statesman; whilst the former was an inventor whose name would label the infamous "Mauser" small-arms company.

Can they unite the fractured eastern lands? Can they create a unifying identity to rally the apethtic citizenry? Can they fix the agricultural and economic strife? Can they turn their divided lands into a unified superpower? Of course they can.

* Erwin Rommel (Griffon)
* Winston Churchill (Changeling)
* Franklin D Roosevelt (Changeling)
* Queen Victoria (Changeling)

Disclaimer: First time writing. Writing on a phone. Harsh criticism is fine, just don't be unreasonable. Historical accuracy is thrown out the window to fit the narrative. Realism is also thrown out the window (goodbye immersion). Totally not a Gary Stu story with all the modern weapons (pretty much just a 'civilised' vs 'uncivilised' situation). The pony civilisation is not a fairy tale utopia. Lots of death. Research_all and add_equipment are used liberally. Victoria 2 (and hopefully soon Victoria 3) are referenced frequently (mostly in comments).

Cover art link: https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Otto_von_Bismarck_by_N.Repik.jpg
(The image is free to use, and requires no permission nor request to use) (If you're a dum-dum and asking if I made the cover art, "ofc I didn't make the covert art.")

Featured 06/27/21 ("The world must've gone terribly wrong for something like this to happen...")

Ever since he was a foal, Light Flow had always known he was destined to be a villain—but not just any villain; no, he wanted to be a Necromancer.

He had always been obsessed with reading fiction stories about the forbidden practice of Necromancy, and much to his delight, his cutie mark spelled his unavoidable destiny as a member of his oh-so revered profession!

But Necromancy is extremely taboo, and very illegal. Equestria hadn't even seen a genuine Necromancer since the times of the fabled Nightmare Moon.

Substituting joy for dread, Light Flow knew that he would have to hide his especially special talent at any cost. Whether in his daily, mundane life as a bookish nerd, or in the heat of extreme danger.

Good thing he doesn't have any friends, right?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have deleted the old AN in favor of a new one.

Hello all! If you don't know me, then good! I'm a stranger, and it'd be weird if you knew who I am!

This is my first story, and basically my first experience writing something long-term. To that end, the beginning of the story is a bit rough, but I grew as a writer somewhat significantly as time went on, so it doesn't stay quite as bad!

The story itself has somewhat wavered from goal to goal as I argued with myself about what I wanted from it, though I eventually managed to settle. In its current state, it's mostly managed to stick to a strange blend of comedic tragedy interspersed sporadically with magical jargon and slice of life.

An added warning due to justified complaining: this experience can be very subdued. Not for the easily bored or angered. Personally, I tend to use Background Pony as a benchmark for a person's capability to withstand words.

Prepare yourself for lots of rants and barely coherent plot-threads!

Also i'm an idiot who probably tagged wrong.

Also i'm a bad person who stole a Jargon Scott image for the cover. (And then a wonderful person named Adin Terim edited it <3)