Chapter 57 - Honesty
"So ah wanna know, Light. What happened to you?"
It was a tone- a question that brooked no dishonesty.
At the very corner of Light's vision, under that white-freckled face evoking so many untoward feelings in him, something shimmered.
Something fleeting; something otherworldly that just as soon disappeared when he tried to look at it. A familiar, frustrating sensation of keep-away played with his overwrought senses that he'd really been hoping would stop now that he was sane again. What had it been?
There was... the Harmony-cursed necklace, and though its deeper-than-Applejack orange gave off quite the enticing sparkle, it wasn't what had caught his eye.
Otherwise, there was only Applejack's soul. Tinged a deep, melancholic blue, but still purely golden.
There was nothing else.
He breathed a tired, familiar sigh and raised his gaze back to the face of his troubled friend. Now just wasn't the time to be looking at souls, no matter how fulfilling it was to see them again. How... intoxicating Applejack's was. How comforting...
...Bleh. He was getting distracted again, almost beginning to drool thinking about its fantastic golden shine. He had to get control of himself before he up and lost it.
He needed another second to think, so he occupied the physical time by making a show of giving a hefty sigh and placing his hoof over the one Applejack held on his shoulder. Meeting her eyes and thinking intently as he gently moved it away, but keeping hold of it in the air between them. Baring his frog as his pastern nestled into the crook of hers.
His friend had gone through... so much. So much more than he'd ever thought- more than he'd ever wanted her to. He wanted... he wished he could've protected her from her burden. If only...
Without meaning to, his gaze tracked again to that necklace. The physical proof of that burden she didn't deserve.
...maybe if he'd fallen from the bridge. If he hadn't ever made it to the castle...
Maybe Nightmare Moon would've given up.
It was a disquieting thought that slipped away as quickly as it had come, bringing a sobering chill over the freezing tips of his still-wet pelt. He took a shuddering breath, fighting the melancholy from his cheeks with a well-timed squeeze of Applejack's hoof. The smallest action from him that, for whatever reason, made Applejack give him a small smile.
Was there anything more beautiful than her smile? The way her little white freckles folded over themselves so shyly? The tiny creases around her eyes that made her seem so much softer?
He didn't think so. Nature could go suck an egg and choke if it was jealous- which it should've been.
"Applejack, I..." It was a wild impulse that drove him to start, and as impulse and everything else tended to, it flaked out on him seconds later. He was left with his mouth hanging open and his friend looking on questioningly, with no idea how to fulfill her. She just... there was so much to tell her... Where did he even start?
Maybe he could... just say what came to mind? Speak honestly, without overmanaging his own mind?
He'd never done that before.
Now was seeming like a good first time to try.
With a rising, nagging fear of whatever impetuous blunder he was about to make, Light took another breath, and tried to keep in mind that his eyes should be expressive.
"...There's a lot to tell you... about everything that happened to me." It was starting off well, and though he was speaking slowly, he was speaking concisely! The lack of disgusted reaction from his friend emboldened him as well, and he held her hoof tighter as he continued. "It's very difficult to explain... and... it's hard to believe."
He found himself giving a small laugh out of nowhere, because it was genuinely a little funny to him. "I can hardly believe it, myself, even though I know what happened. Even though I..."
He trailed off, and the small smile he'd held faded away while Applejack turned her head in concern. Seeing how she looked at him... It drove him to swallow the hesitation down, and force the words out. "...even though I lived it."
With a serious nod that gave him the impression she was in for the long haul, Applejack's eyes fell for a moment. "After everythin' that happened last night... fightin' through the end a' the world..." She went silent, then snorted: shaking her head dismissively as she returned a determined stare to him. "Ain't much I can imagine ah wouldn't believe."
He nodded to himself at that, lowering his own eyes as she had a moment before. "The world was ending last night... wasn't it?" he murmured, his eyes caught on that gem with a green stem that even then seemed as though it were hiding something. Past that, and to the shining, spinning globe of golden light that made up everything that Applejack was... he could so easily close his eyes, and imagine it floating away.
It was a constant effort to remind himself.
He'd done it for her. He'd taken that choice for himself, so she wouldn't.
That he was here now, still able to hold her hoof, after everything he'd done- everything that could've been done because of him...
He raised his eyes and met her emerald gaze. After a moment, she smiled, and he smiled back.
He was thankful.
"Yesterday wasn't the start of my problems, and I think you know that." Applejack nodded softly at that, and her smile became the slightest bit rueful. He knew why, of course, and own smile became a little melancholic thinking of it. "It's been... two years now that I've been... struggling with this."
Applejack nodded again as her gaze fell, her jaw tensing in indecision as she swallowed. "That long, huh?" she murmured a little thickly- and just for the moment, Light closed his eyes to really listen to the sound of her voice. "Can't say I ain't been wonderin', and worryin' 'bout you."
Such an intrinsically comforting tone that twangy accent was, even as it lowered so softly into guilt. "There were... a whole lotta times I was alone, just working, and couldn't stop thinkin' 'bout you." Her next breath came out thinner, but she continued steadily on. "...'Bout what was wrong, 'n if I coulda been doing somethin'."
He let his eyes drift open as her voice trailed off, and found her still staring absently down at their hooves. He tightened the crook of his hoof in a soft squeeze around hers, and the sad frown she wore wanly lifted into a smile. She gave a soft squeeze of her own with a soft chuckle, her voice sliding down to a coy murmur. "Hearin' you talk about it... 's makin' me wonder if it was all a big warnin' sign."
Though her gaze stayed low and her smile died again after a moment, Light still stared at her intently for another few moments. Scanning every detail of the bashful regret on her face before he dropped his own gaze and gave a hefty sigh.
Sometimes, when he didn't have anything better to do, he liked to think of a world where he made her smile instead of just... always frowning.
One of his better fantasies.
"You shouldn't beat yourself up, Orange Hooves. Even if you'd realized, there wasn't anything you could've done," he murmured, and as he'd expected, using his foalhood nickname for her finally got that sad expression off her face. Only to a questioning and slightly frightening scowl, but still: the ultimately intended effect.
He couldn't help giving a mocking laugh at the huffiness on her face, and as usual, he was succinctly repaid with pain as she jerked her hoof back and he went along with it. His nose crashed into her chest and stars burst into the darkness behind his eyes as he fell sideways into her lap, though he could only enjoy the proximity for a split second before she shoved him back.
She caught him by their still-connected hooves before he tumbled too far back, and snorted as he groaned in dizzied pain. "Y'all know it ain't comforting to hear that my worryin' was fer nothin'." As he gradually focused back in through the fuzziness, she and her double's frown both lightened. "Light, you know I'm always gonna be there for you no matter the weather." She leaned forward, trying to catch his spinning eyes. "What could'a been wrong that ah couldn't help with?"
There was some small part of him that wanted to pay her back somehow for having pulled and pushed him, though there was another, weirder part of him that found the abuse just as comforting. It was an undeniably strange, illogical gut reaction, but he was an undeniably strange individual.
When it came to mares like Rainbow Dash, he wasn't sure whether the physical abuse was a way of showing affection. With Applejack, he knew it was.
All the times she'd pushed him and punched him and tweaked his ear just meant she liked him. She knew he could handle it. She knew he could handle... her.
...If only.
His mind suddenly strayed too far, and now it was all full of the wrong ideas. Before he spoke, he made sure to shake the buzzing thoughts away from his warming ears- however oddly Applejack looked at him for it. Now that was weird. As his best friend, she should've been used to it by now.
"Applejack... I want to tell you... but with everything that happened last night..." As the shining note of concern in her gaze grew too... insistent to handle, Light couldn't help his gaze from averting with a grimace. "...and after everything you went through..."
Even the bushes and trees were looking judgmental; their branches and knots seemed to twist into laughing, mocking faces the longer he stared. Only ever one at once and disappearing as he looked away, but it unnerved him nonetheless. His mindscape was a twisted forest in and of itself, and that didn't ever seem to change.
So, he shut his eyes. The safest option for admitting hard truths. "...I'm afraid you'll hate me."
He breathed a sigh of relief as the admission finally slipped past his lip, and with the tidy thought that the worst was over, he managed to peel his eyes open. Without the delirious sense of impending doom pulling at the threads of his mind, his eyes were playing a few less tricks on him; the bushes and trees were just that. Nothing at all to scream at. No ghosts whatsoever.
He gave Applejack's hoof, still held in his, a quick squeeze as he turned back to her with a deep breath. What he wasn't expecting, though he'd idly found her silence a little odd for the past few seconds, was how... withdrawn she seemed.
Maybe it was just the lack of her omnipresent hat making him think too much of a younger her, but the indecision on her face... the growing sense of dread as she scanned her lap for answers...
...it was making him feel small.
"...Applejack?" he ventured... hesitantly. He actually found it a miracle that he'd spoken at all, but maybe he was just used to mares whose very presence was a deterrent to free thought. Whatever his baggage, his friend gave a small, seeming concerted flinch at his address: shutting her eyes as her ears pinned back and baring her frown with no small measure of indecision.
It was... an angry indecision. The still edges of her soul were shading... reddish, though its turbulent center remained very strangely blue. She was inwardly sad, and cross-referencing the war going on with her expression... she might've been... frustrated?
...with herself?
"Light..." she finally ground out through her tense jaw, and his gut instinct at her tone told him to brace. She huffed, then growled as she gave her head a single, fierce shake. "...I'm gonna ask y'all... somethin' that's been on my mind since last night, and if'n you don't answer me honestly..!"
He had no idea what to say at the bare anger in her strained voice as it seemed like she geared up for an accusation, and as her tone lowered, and as her head crept ever so slowly up and he could see how the dragon's fire fury in her eyes glowed in brilliant time with her three-tone soul, he found himself... nothing less than open-mouthed speechless.
With her grip on his hoof still held as firmly as an Apple family oak, her eye met his. Flaming green on startled red in a relentless, wordless clash.
One pair wide with fear, while the other filled with furious tears between quick blinks. Both of them terrified to their core for a future in danger of slipping away forever.
The air thick with the lingering promise of a threat unspoken. For a lie... or an unwanted truth.
"...Were you workin' with Nightmare Moon?"
In the long, silent moments after, as Applejack's stark fury quelled to a waiting simmer in the heavy air, there wasn't anything except the quiet burbling of the nearby stream. The far-off call of sporadic birdsong carried across the wind. That subtle breeze over their ears that rustled the trees in nature's most time-honored melody.
Everything that Light Flow wasn't focusing on as he stared out into the distance. His hooded eyes low from a wear he'd been feeling for two years; his small, quiet frown ever so slightly grieving.
It was always easier this way. Past the long build-up and without the vulnerability of addressing it himself, there wasn't even the impulse to cry. It was always the tension that made him cry.
At this point, Light was only very quietly afraid.
Applejack wasn't the most patient mare- even though she lived on a farm where she farmed things- so it only took a few moments after he'd begun staring off into the distance for answers before she growled out at him. "Well? Nothin' to say?"
He thought about that for a moment, shaking his head ever so gently as he shifted focus into a cloud. He nibbled at his lip as... its shape sort of reminded him of Nightmare Moon. As had Applejack in that stunning moment of rage she'd displayed. Simply astounding to witness such a mortal tempest; how expressive she'd seemed in the doleful lines of her face.
So sad, and so angry that things had lead up to that question.
He knew her. After half their lives spent together, he knew why she was mad.
But it was the first time he'd ever had to address it. Every year on the mourning days of her parents' deaths, and that final afternoon after those unexpected weeks when the crop just wouldn't sell, and the single, shocking morning her grandmare had called her by her mother's name...
He'd always just left her to cry. To kick the ground and punch the trees until her coat was brown and her frogs were covered in blisters, all by herself.
He was her best friend, but he'd never been there for her. He'd never made it better.
He knew what he wanted to say.
In the moment he focused down to Equus, to her steaming, streaming face scored by two trails of one-line tears crawling over the greying specks on her cheeks, he could only think of how hurt she must've been. What she must've thought of him...
It had been a mistake to assume he could find his way here on his own time. She wasn't stupid, and there'd been a lot of clues that weren't difficult to pick up on. Worst of all, he wasn't denying it.
He dearly wished he could.
He lowered his eyes for a moment to their hooves, still held so tightly together. Muddy brown and easy orange: two colors that had no business meeting. He shook his head as he left them behind to meet her pained gaze, making sure to squeeze before he opened his mouth.
He hoped it brought her comfort, as it did for him.
"I never had any choice," he murmured, and how he wished he could stop that first flash of hurt. That single, terrible moment of widening eyes while her every movement went so still, while the colors in her soul so mournfully began to grey.
For the first time since they'd started holding hooves, he felt her try to tug away as she began to turn- but he held on. "Please, listen," he begged softly, and just like that, the orange hoof held in his went gently limp. At the pleading note in his voice, he knew she was still listening.
She may not have been facing him anymore, and she may have already made up her mind once and for all, but if she really wanted him to let go... well... he would've. Whatever appearance of dismissal she held in that trembling emerald gaze set firmly to the trees, she still wanted to be proven wrong.
He was still her best friend. However much it hurt, she wanted him to explain it to her.
So Light took a deep breath, and thanked his lucky star that he'd never let go. "It's not how you think, Applejack, I haven't been under my own free will," he continued to explain, and though he personally felt he'd sounded a little too eager, his words still made his best friend turn back towards him. Not very much, and she wasn't actually looking at him, but it was a show that she was listening, and that was all he needed.
After another moment and a sigh that didn't help the knot in his chest, he continued, taking the moment between to stare down at their joined hooves. Flashes of turbulent memory flickering behind them with every word. "I was... under Her control. I didn't- I never had any say in it. I was possessed. She took control of me."
He gave another sigh through the gaps of his teeth, then sucked in a breath as a twinge of recollection stabbed at his heart. "I've been... forced to do things I wasn't aware of. Things I..." Indecision grabbed tightly at his throat, leaving his mouth open as he slowly lowered his gaze, until he finally closed it. "...regret."
It sounded cheesy. It sounded lame, and contrived, and impossible, but it got Applejack's eyes back up to his all the same. "...Y'all been possessed..?" Her thin, hesitant voice petered out as she grimaced, and faintly, he caught a quiet whisper she kept to herself as her gaze fell to her lap. "...that'd make a lotta sense..."
She probably hadn't meant for him to catch that, but he jerkily nodded anyway, drawing her wary eye back to him. "Yes!" he insisted- too emphatically as Applejack recoiled away from his sudden volume. He cringed back and whispered an apology, lowering his voice as Applejack's ears cautiously perked from their splay. "Yes, She's been... using my body, without me even being cognizant of it- without having a choice."
He was winning her over. He could see it. She'd read just enough literature to understand that concept.
Her frown peeled back in a sorrowed seethe as she tried to speak, her voice coming out as a shallow gasp that shook as it petered, until she finally lowered her head and dropped her gaze. "Ah can't... imagine..." she finally whispered. She kept her stare on their their hooves for a moment, and very faintly, he felt her give a soft squeeze.
"Was it... all this time?" her murmured question was... oh it broke his heart how vulnerable it was. The way her wet eyes shimmered as she met his gaze again, vainly hoping against her better thoughts that he'd just say no. That he'd deny that... her friend hadn't always been her friend.
Just thinking of it, it seemed so sickening, all over again. Nightmare Moon had worn him, living his life in heavens knew what disturbing ways, using him for... who even knew what. Probably just reading, or talking to ponies. Gathering as much info as She could, without even caring what potential moments She might've been stomping all over.
He still didn't remember every time She'd done it. Over two years of blurry holes, and there was no way to tell how many times She must've tricked Applejack.
It made him so sick.
He'd spent too long thinking- delaying- which seemed to answer the question for her either way. She gave a shuddering sigh, sinking forward into herself and just staying that way for a moment, until she slowly straightened with a breath. A breath that lasted until she was sitting all the way back up, that she let out in one, exhausted stream.
He knew the feeling.
"So... all the time you've been actin' all weird..?" Her absent question sat in the air for a moment as she looked to him for an answer, and because he didn't trust himself at the moment, he only nodded. She took the motion like a punch, her head jittering in shock as she leaned back on her haunches. As her unfocused eyes settled on the background behind him, she whispered out a few, thin words. "...'An your amnesia..?"
He knew what it was like to want to just... look somewhere else, so he didn't badger her for her staying gaze as he lowered his own and sighed. "...My state over the years was the side-effect of... Her presence, but... yesterday was..." He stopped, because...
...He wanted to tell Applejack the whole truth- he really did. The only thing was... if he just outright blabbed that he was the victim of a conspiracy to ensure last night's events happened as they did, and that his memory had been purposefully wiped by no being other than the lauded Princess Sol Celestia, he was pretty sure...
He'd done a good job at building such a piteous base for his explanation that Applejack had pretty readily believed him without too many questions, and that admission would be like the Sonic Rainboom obliterating Hamelet. As proud as he was with himself for bringing that reference around, he was not about to go looking for new ways to make Applejack think he was insane!
He did that well enough with his tics.
Applejack allowed him the time to think- probably taking her own time to think, as well- leaving him free to finally blow out a weary breath, and make a rash commitment. "...was the end result."
Applejack gave a shuddering sigh, resting her chin against her necklace while he internally breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't technically lied! It was the most believable kind of lie, and the least guilty! It was barely even lying, more like...
...omitting the truth! That was such a good way to put it!
"So... if'n I'm gettin' this knot straight," Applejack began, Light perking up at the somewhat dizzied sound of her voice. With her one hoof still holding his- he was so glad they'd silently committed to that- her other raised to hold her head shakily, though her voice was gradually beginning to return to its usual strength. "Y'all been... carryin' Nightmare Moon 'round in yer head... for two years?"
She looked to him pleadingly for an affirmation, and he nodded. She blew out a shaken breath as she looked down, and he got the distinct feeling that it wasn't the answer she'd really wanted. "Right..." She looked back up to him, and set her hoof back to the ground. "An' you never said anythin' because..?"
The trailed sentence was a clear lead into his response, so even though speaking the words drew burning acid up his throat, he nodded. "She... didn't let me." He used his free hoof to massage his neck- because it really did burn- as his gaze averted to the side for a moment. "If I'd ever even thought to, She made sure to... stamp that down."
His somber answer had her staring incredulously forward for a moment with the kind of dull, glassy expression he'd come to expect from himself. He supposed tragedy just did that to a pony, though to Applejack's credit, she seemed to shake it off in only a few blinks. Setting her free hoof onto her chest as she took deep breaths, and through the exercise he recognized as helping to keep one on the shores of panic, she set her surprisingly lucid gaze on him.
"Last night..." Her words came out shakily, and in the next moment as he nearly reached forward to comfort her, she shut her eyes. She took a deep breath against the hoof over her chest and opened them again, speaking with marginally more control than before. "...after the party... does this mean you were..?"
Again, his friend looked for him to affirmation, except... he didn't really know how to respond this time. Well, with something more articulate than a nod, obviously, but otherwise? He took a moment to simmer, staring down at their held hooves. Applejack, good friend that she continued to perpetually be, let him sit in silence for the moment. How well she knew him.
What did he say? No, really, what in Tartarus' unholy name did he tell her?! He didn't want to lie to her, so how did he breach the fact that he'd been at the castle?! The first part would be easy- Yeah, I was at the castle; Nightmare Moon wanted me to stop you- it was the resulting follow-up question that was currently stumping his sorry rump!
If he was at the castle, and of course that meant he was there to stop the Elements- that needn't be said- then how did he escape? Why hadn't she seen him there? How did he manage to prevent his use as a deterrent?
It was fine, this wasn't that bad. He was sure he'd come up with an answer any second now.
...Any second now.
...Any... second now.
He could always lie.
No. Not this time. This time, he was going to be honest.
How much did he really want to tell her the truth?
A lot. A whole bunch. Whatever denomination made it clear that he was done lying to his best friend. Trust was a longtime mutual promise of sincerity, and this was when he wanted to start!
He was still lying to her about a lot of other things. Which lies were okay to tell her? Where did he cross the line if not here?
That... wasn't fair. The lies about his special talent and about his memory loss were... for her own good. She wouldn't understand; it would just cause a misunderstanding. He did not want Applejack to misunderstand something so nuanced.
If you draw the line there, then how long before you push it back further? How long before you start to lie again?
That was not equivalent! That was not apropos! That was not going to happen!
Do you trust yourself to make that distinction?
That... He couldn't just... There wasn't a good way to...
...
...Not... right now...
With that meek final word, the argument in his head drew to a close with him as the loser, somehow. He focused out of the vortex of self-doubt known as his mind, and back to the hoof held in his. That brawny orange limb with its barely darker pastern resting over a muddy patch of brown. Ugh. So ugly.
He gave it a squeeze, and like he'd pressed a button on a neatly-tuned machine, it squeezed back. Faintly... if he concentrated... he could feel her pulse. Altogether steadier than he'd expected it to be, but still so distantly lulling.
He wondered if it would jump up. He wondered what his felt like, if she was even looking for it.
It'd be nice if she was.
Gradually, he turned his gaze up, and found his friend waiting with a patient smile. A loaded, expectant patience, but patience all the same, and nonetheless overwhelmingly calming. The smile of a friend, however abrasive. The smile held in his most comforting memories.
Maybe he didn't want to tarnish those memories. That might've been why he dropped his gaze as he gave a soft hum, and a rueful smile. "...I was there, yeah." There wasn't a noise of indication from his hardy friend, but the press of her hoof on his tightened enough to know she heard him. For what it was worth, he tried to match the pressure of her hold as he nodded absently. "I was at the castle last night."
For a moment, Applejack was silent. Silent enough that he was able to find the impetuousness to look up, to find her shaking her head. Working her jaw with a far-off note of confusion on her face, that he could make any number of guesses as to its source.
Seeing his friend struck speechless at his declaration- it was wrong to feel satisfied at that- was probably a good segue into explaining further. "I'm sure you remember... I left you at the party, and it was because She told me to," he began quietly, and at nothing but that, Applejack jerked as though he'd struck her. The confusion written on her unspeaking lips faded in an instant as she focused on him- as though now was the first time she was really seeing him.
He'd flinched back in surprise as she'd... had a moment, and then taken to staring back in equal confusion as she seemingly tried to extract an explanation from him without speaking. After a moment of uncomfortably tense eye contact, her too-wide eyes finally ticked off to the side as her hoof came to her face, and she turned quickly away.
Was that... a flush he'd seen?
She'd freaked out at the mention of the party... so what happened at the party..? He'd... left her, yeah, but other than that..? Faint flashes of her accusing him as the static warred in his head... Nightmare Moon taking control and feeding him her name... Rainbow Dash... A conversation spoken without his own words... Fluttershy... Flutter...shy..!
Oh, the dinner invitation! She must've been embarrassed at the three-pony dinner invitation!
Well, he was far from the first pony to push up his glasses and start spewing reminders, but it seemed a little foalish to get so blushy about something so benign at a time like this. As usual, Applejack had no situational awareness.
Dinner wasn't anything to be embarrassed about. It was gonna be awkward, but it wasn't embarrassing.
They were adults. It was just dinner.
Clearing his throat, he tried to lean forward to catch her gaze. He caught her hesitant eye, and thankfully for the pace of the conversation, managed to hold it as he settled back. She was still turned away and sheepishly hiding her face, but she was making eye contact, and that was good enough for him.
Feeling markedly more troubled on the part of their assumed mutual gravitas, he focused back down onto their hooves with a frown. "As I was saying... Nightmare Moon forced me to leave you at the party..." he trailed off uneasily, flicking his eye up to find Applejack uneasily holding her hoof to her necklace. He dropped his eye, and continued. "...and directed me to head for the castle."
Applejack's voice, raised to a concerned question, broke his speaking stride. "She... made y'all leave that early?" She drew her frown up in a disturbed scowl. "It'd hardly been sundown by the time you trotted out. What'd that half-baked biscuit need ya for so darn early?!"
For a moment, Light only stared at his irate friend.
Eventually- eventually- he managed to shake off the amazement for Applejack calling Nightmare Moon... stupid, and stammered a reply. "Be- because- um..." He stopped short after a moment, and as the answer came to him, he sighed: his body sagging under its weight. "...There was just... a lot to prepare for."
His sullen answer drew his friend's concerned frown back out, though he could hardly look at it.
When he thought back to that foggy dusk... when he'd been so lost... still so fundamentally broken that he'd latched tight to the first voice in his head that provided the simplest of comforts...
What if he'd stayed like that? What if She'd never returned his autonomy?
Even thinking of it sent a powerful shudder through him, such that it audibly shook his lips in a very undignified whinny. He held tightly to Applejack's hoof in the wake of the instinctual reaction, and before he could stop himself, spoke the first thing on his mind. "Thank you, Applejack. So much."
Her first reaction was confusion all over her face, and though saying it had been more of an accident than anything, he continued, pressing her hoof up to his chest as he leaned closer to her. "I never thanked you for... defeating Her, and I need to. You saved me." He stopped short as his best friend, hoof now fallen from her necklace, only continued to stare at him as though he'd grown a second head.
It was beginning to make him feel a little self conscious. He sucked back a heavy swallow and what he hoped was the beginning of a blush on his face, and lowered their hooves along with his gaze. "If She'd won... it wouldn't have been good for anypony, but the things I already went through..."
He blinked, and it was all there under the surface. His mind falling apart. The shadows coming alive. A bloody, carved heart. Fire leaping overhead. Screaming and torment and the drawn-out pain of losing somepony he'd never wanted in his life.
He shook his head with a another blink, and there was only Applejack. Orange face half-smiling awkwardly, and her warm hoof tightly in his. A secure reality around him full of life, sunshine and comfort.
He fought down the welling in his eyes, and returned her smile. "It would've gotten worse, and I don't think I can ever really repay you for preventing that."
He would've come back to a much worse world without her.
The intense wave of thankfulness didn't wane in the slightest as Applejack, seeming almost somewhat flustered, gave an indulgent chuckle and their hooves a pat. "Aw, sugarcube, y'don't need to thank me." Her smile suddenly turned upside down as her gaze fell troubledly, and her voice grew reproving. "Heck, after ah got all suspicious and starting castin' asperations 'n whatnot, I'm not really sure how much ah deserve it."
Her bashful smile returned as she laughed again, and averted her gaze sideways. "'An even then, weren't just me out there. Elements can't work with just one pony." Her gaze rose as her smile turned into a quizzical frown. "'Least... ah don't think so..."
She chewed on that for a minute while she wiped her hoof across her necklace's gem, while Light just... thought.
Hearing Applejack actually refer to the Elements... sort of gave them a dimension he'd not really considered. They weren't just vague threats to fear at every step, they were actual objects that his friends possessed. Applejack was wearing one, and she had some idea of what it was.
How much did she know about them? How much did she know about Harmony? He was sure that after Nightmare Moon was defeated, Celestia must have shown up, so what must She have told the Bearers?
Urgh... Thinking about what sorts of lies their heads could've been filled with really triggered his gag reflex. Literally. He almost gagged thinking about his best friend being there and looking at either of the Princesses with any kind of adoration.
Religion wasn't a topic they spoke about often- because he hated it- but he knew her grandmare had reared her as a devout Celestial Disciple. She didn't earnestly practice, but she didn't denounce it, either, and that might as well've been the same thing.
An old frustration was beginning to rear its head, so he distracted himself with conversation. One of the main topics on his mind was whether Applejack understood even a single thing about the necklace she wore, but a different, larger question was beginning to scream for his attention.
"Applejack?" He drew his friend's attention back with a hesitant call of her name, their gazes meeting with mutual questioning. "How did you figure out I had something to do with Nightmare Moon?"
His admittedly very warranted question brought a sense of realization to Applejack's eyes as she hummed curiously but before she could reply, he cut her off. "You jumped right into talking about going to stop Her earlier as if it was fact. You didn't even react when I didn't react!"
Looking back, he was a little embarrassed about it. After so long of living in that nightmare, not to mention how off-kilter he'd been at seeing her cry, he'd not masked his own knowledge of the night at all. A pony in his assumed position shouldn't have known... literally anything about what happened.
He was usually so much better at lying, but he was off his game after last night. He'd not been able to lie to Nightmare Moon about anything. Now he was all rusty, and his pledge to spill his guts to Applejack wasn't helping that. He'd have to find a rube to practice on, soon.
He focused out of himself to find his friend looking a bit frustrated at being interrupted, though the expression faded with a sigh as she closed her eyes. "'T be honest, Light..." She opened them back up, and met his stare as her expression became somewhat pained. "Ah was... already thinkin' 'bout it, an' it was because you didn't react that ah..."
She trailed off, and a moment later, dropped her gaze to her hooves.
"...that ah knew."
For a long moment after Applejack's admission, and as his friend sighed regretfully to the side, Light just stared at her.
What was... this emotion welling so fiercely inside of him? A warm, swelling feeling in his breast- rising up into his cheeks! It was... It was...
Pride. That'd been a truly devious way to take advantage of him, and he was so proud of her.
Though he was a little starstruck- it was hard not to shed a tear- of his guilt-stricken friend, he was able to swallow his powerful feelings down for long enough to pat her hoof and draw her attention back. "But how did you come to be suspicious?" he asked, frowning curiously as she turned back to him. "I know there were probably a lot of signs I wasn't aware of, but was there anything... specific?"
His gradual attempt to tease anything out of his... oddly squirmy best friend wasn't immediately fruitful. As he peered closer and she looked away and he tried to catch her wandering eyes and she shut them, it became apparent that she was, at the very least, ashamed. That was the sort of feeling he got through studying her scrunched-up face.
Shame. Reluctance. A dour look that he'd seen from an early age sat in front of Granny Smith as she chewed Applejack out for whatever bad thing he'd talked her into doing that time.
Applejack may have been a busybody know-it-all at times, but her homespun values were pretty strictly against the kinds of foul play and subterfuge he was typically interested in. That seemed to include surreptitiously noticing small details and using them to form an educated hypothesis about close friends' issues, apparently.
If coming to outrageous conclusions through circumstantial evidence and accusing your friends about them without a clear idea of what came next wasn't what a good friend did, then he didn't know what was.
Finally, after glaring at his friend looking the other way for long enough, she groaned. A clear indication that she'd broken as her tense posture sagged in time with her head hanging. She sucked at keeping secrets.
"...Fine," she groused none too pleasantly. She met his eye as her frown curled in on itself in a seethe, and through what seemed like great effort for her, she spat the answer he'd been waiting for.
"It was the eyes. That's what got me wonderin', alright?"
What? What did that... mean?
His first reaction was, understandably, confusion, and it showed on his face. Seeing his deadpan bewilderment, Applejack shuffled her hoof through her mane with another drawn-out sigh. "A'fore y'all left the party last night, ah caught a glance 'a yer eyes, 'an they were..." She huffed, and he couldn't help but painfully notice as her grip on his tightened. "...the same as Hers."
He gave a single, uncomprehending blink. "Do you mean we... had the same kind of look?" He screwed his face into a disgruntled scowl. "I guess I can see what you mean. I mean- that was more Her than me, so..."
He was cut off before he could dig himself into any deeper a hole as Applejack shook her head vehemently. "No, not like that!" She stopped short with a pout, that just as soon deepened into a darker frown. "I mean y'all's eyes were exactly like Hers," she stressed, bobbing her head as she emphasized it again. "Color an' everythin'. Exactly like Nightmare Moon's. Dead giveaway."
Light sat a little back, because... wow. That wasn't... That was news to him. Since when had he... had She always manifested like that? In public? How had nopony ever noticed?!
If it'd been that easy to tell, then it was no wonder he'd been tracked down by the government. His picture of Bon Bon as some kind of incredible superspy slash investigative mastermind was dissolving fast. Anypony with eyes could've reported what she must've.
However surprising it was and however lame Bon Bon was, the knowledge that Nightmare Moon had been physically manifesting in his body was extremely disconcerting. Invalidating, sickening, as well as everything else that went along with discovering a new, somehow extra disturbing facet to his possession.
Still... it wasn't as disturbing as the black slush he'd begun to vomit after Zecora destabilized Nightmare Moon. He remembered that, and he intimately remembered how much it always hurt. The acidic burn it left in his throat and over his tongue- far worse than the stomach acid that came with it. For all he knew, the two made each other worse. It'd be just like his luck.
But that was enough of that; there wasn't much point in dwelling on problems that were dead and over now. Not when he had a friend to pay attention to, who had up to that point always waited very patiently for him to zone back in. Speaking of it, his choice to zone in might've maybe had something to do with her beginning to speak again.
Which was fine. He meant it. The world couldn't always wait for him to run a bureau of investigation from out of his head.
"Listen, Light-" she began, totally without warning but for a sigh and a shake of her head. "I'd been at my wits end worryin' 'bout y'all after you left the party, 'n it only got worse when dawn came 'round."
As her voice lowered with another hefty sigh, Light's ear perked. He'd not yet heard about what'd been happening in Ponyville at dawn. The possibility of finding out was... tantalizing.
And find out he probably would as Applejack gave a soft sniff, looking down at their held hooves. In a motion rather at odds with her dour voice, she began to sway them gently side to side. "Whole town came outta their holes 'n rounded up at Town Hall for the Sun Raising. More ponies 'n I reckon Ponyville's ever seen." She blew out a melancholic huff. "...'Course, I wasn't much lookin' forward to it without knowin' where you'd wandered off to."
She remained silent for a few moments more, focusing entirely on fidgeting with their hooves as the melancholy on her face began to shift. Receding to a near-normalcy over a few seconds, and as the swaying movement of their hooves came to a crawl, it began to lower into resentment. Anger.
"Whole darn day seems spoiled lookin' back, but truth is, the rot started early." Her crass expression intensified as she lowered her head, placing her free hoof over a narrowed eye as she began to irritably mutter. "Woke up on the wrong side a' the bed, 'n not to mention gettin' in that fuss with Twilight... Didn't see hide 'nor hair a' you without so much as a heads-up, 'n plain didn't have the time to go lookin'..."
With a shiver and a shake of her head, her other eye shut. Her tame frown widened into a large scowl, while with every word, her accent grew thicker with tightly-restrained anger. "Only found out 'bout you after it was too late to do anythin', 'n by the time th' ceremony came with no Princess showin' up, ah was startin' to feel like every wrong turn was jes' addin' up..."
For a moment, as the grip on his hoof tightened to a painful extent, he really thought she was going to explode. The simmering anger in her voice only seemed to build with every word, until she'd finally aired every grievance, and she was left with nothing but seething breath and a boiling temper on her half-hidden face. A clear indication of an angry Applejack moments away from disaster.
But then... over a minute or so, it began to cool. The slim recount of her apparent all-day misfortune ended with a strained whimper and an eventual full-body sigh. A total throttle of all her irritation towards nopony in particular that she capped by dragging her hoof down her mussed face, finally showing her very tired eyes.
"...When that big, black shadow crept up over th' balcony, it all jes' made so much sense," she recounted murmuringly, closing her eyes again after a moment and throwing her head back with a groan. Opening her eyes to the sky with a heady sigh. "Ah only caught a peek at Her eyes while She went off blusterin' and screamin', but when ah did..."
With the entire gambit of emotions run, Applejack returned her gaze to him, and returned herself to her equilibrium. She met his gaze with no less resolve than she'd held on every day she'd ever elected to do something stupid at a dare. With her jaw firm and apparently ignoring how she looked with tear lines crossed all over her cheeks, Applejack gave a familiar, rough snort.
"Ah just knew ah had to tag along when Twilight ran after Her."
For the entire time that Applejack had been stewing, through all of her frustrations aired and unspoken alike, Light had hardly had a thought on his mind. Not a word on his lips, nor a heeded distraction tugging at his ear.
For fear of missing even a single second of his expressive best friend airing so many feelings at once, he'd almost convinced himself not to blink.
He was entranced.
How he loved to watch her- just to witness her. The tenses in her jaw when she got angry- mouthing silent words unheard. The shadows creeping unbidden over her eyes- her eyebrows were so volatile. Even the obvious flaring of her nostrils- or how he could feasibly count the creases on the bridge of her muzzle- and especially the subtle language of how she folded her ears.
His friend was a living masterpiece of emotional expressiveness. And for how stout she could be sometimes, he hardly had such incredible chances to so intimately study her.
She'd have to forgive him for taking a passive role in her yelling.
Her lashes fluttering demurely as she blinked blurriness away. The tangled pomp of her mane bouncing as she shook her head in frustration.
Oh... he wished he could watch her forever; she was the mare who never reached redundancy. Every expression was its own art piece. Every face she made was his very own private treatise on the emotion. He wished he was better at drawing, because she was the perfect subject.
The end of her ponytail peeping over her shoulder when she turned. Her mane strewn over her neck like a waterfall of gold.
He'd never ever get tired of watching her shift from each and every logical progression to the next. Melancholy to anger then back to the most rueful sadness in its wake. So easy to comprehend, but so endlessly fascinating.
She was so earnest. So perfect- but she wasn't. She'd hid her suspicions from him until they'd been confirmed- and how deviously she'd bated him into revealing his knowledge. She was better than perfect. She was flawed.
The amount of love he had for her was just going to drive him insane. He could hardly contain the gushing firestorm in his chest- he wanted to shout it from the thatch rooftops. He wanted to feel her hooves wrapped snugly around him when he drifted off to sleep at night, and to expect her final, sleepy breath washing over his nape before he joined her in the most blissful dreams.
He wanted her to smile when she looked at him. He wanted her soul to gleam when she saw him.
He wanted-
"...Light?"
He blinked at his friend's questioning voice, and at the hoof waving in his vision. And though it was physically impossible to blink at, he discovered the stiff, dopey grin on his face with the exact same level of horrifying realization.
Somewhere along the way, he'd started smiling. It was probably around the time his head had begun to tilt, and when he'd stopped blinking, and when he'd started staring. For an extended silence, while she'd stared straight back at him. His arm had also gone slack, and like a fool, he'd let go of Applejack's hoof.
He realized all of this in hindsight, after he'd come back to his senses.
He sucked in a startled gasp as his head jerked back to normal position in a heady moment of wondering where am I and how long has it been. A profoundly familiar thing for him, such that he was almost immediately struck with an uncomfortable sense of deja vu.
"What?! What did I- say that again!" he stammered on instinct, because instinct told him that was the most immediate question to answer when he zoned out. In the moment after, as Applejack recoiled back from his wild, searching eyes, he hugged his hooves to his barrel to try to take stock of the physical world.
His barrel was there. Check. Applejack was there in front of him, looking mildly peeved. Check two.
He blew out an unsteady breath as he began to come down from his unsettled high, rubbing his hooves up and down across his own fur. Relishing in the myriad comfortable and uncomfortable feelings as he tried to make his eyes stop... doing that. Focus on Applejack, Light! It shouldn't have been so hard to just keep looking at her after he'd been doing such a good job of it.
Eventually, he wrangled his eyes to where they needed to be, and his heart stopped pounding in his ears. "Sorry- I- um... What did you say?" he asked in a markedly calmer tone than his previous one. Good for him. He wasn't a total ditz.
Applejack had been his friend for a long time. So it was that, after only a few moments of looking at him strangely and wondering, she sat back up straight from her backwards lean and cleared her throat. "Was just... askin' how y'all got outta that situation. 'Bein at the castle with Nightmare Moon, I mean."
She might've said something else after that, but Light didn't really hear her- sorry Applejack. As it was, he was a bit more concerned with the question.
The question was here.
And he still didn't have an answer for her.
He began to alternate between licking his teeth and gnawing on his lip- for the variety- as he nodded absently to show his friend he cared enough to lie about listening to her. That seemed to appease her, as it usually did. Applejack was a good friend like that, accepting lies without question when it would otherwise provide massive trouble for him. He was sure she'd accept whatever other innocent little lie he told her about how he got away from Nightmare Moon.
How about..?
He'd refused Her long enough that She'd just given up. He'd knocked himself out so She couldn't use him. He'd run, and resolved to never look back. He lead Her on an epic chase through the castle as She'd flown after him screaming curses upon his name. He'd forgotten to RSVP.
Any of those might work...
But none of those were the truth, were they? The truth was that he'd jumped out of a window. He'd killed himself.
She's been so understanding so far, so much more than he deserved. She'll understand this as well.
Ah- hah! That's not true because that doesn't take into account the differing levels of severity in what he'd told her! When he'd confessed about Nightmare Moon, she'd already had the idea in her head, and she'd wanted to believe him. Her understanding there was a muddling concoction of analysis and partial ignorance!
This was further than left field- this was coming out of a geographically impossible field! This was coming out of a field he couldn't even mathematically conceive of! This was the most severe truth he could possibly tell!
You will either tell her the truth, or you will lie to her. There is no middle.
Do not pretend as though you haven't made up your mind.
His vision blurred- and Light Flow breathed in a gasp as... something in his mind... abruptly quieted. The next hyperbolic argument he'd had in store was left sitting in his hooves without an ear to suffer it. Not his own, nor another.
That- It hadn't been his internal back-and-forth dialogue, that'd been something! Something... something!
Something... speaking in his head. But... no- he knew what it was like to have something in his head. This wasn't that feeling. It wasn't perverse: a foreign weight pressing against the inside of his skull. Like a rock sitting in the center of his brain. This didn't feel like that. This wasn't like how Nightmare Moon had felt.
It felt... distant, on the outside of his skull. A feeling that, now that it had wavered and he could feel it, he could so clearly feel it- and he could recognize that it'd been there for awhile. It was like a... hole in his head- no, that was too invasive a definition, it was more like...
...a line. A line... like thread in his mind. Poking in, but not going any further than that. A feeling that... felt disconnected from his skull, actually. Disconnected from his physical self. It spoke to his mind- to his mental self.
Something... afar. Something had been speaking to him from afar, doing something like... projecting a voice into his head. However insane that sounded, it was still the first feeling that came to mind, and it wasn't a truly impossible concept, either. That's what it felt like.
It wasn't malignant, and it wasn't internal. Something external had been speaking to him since he'd woken up, and it'd just made its opinion clear. Something that always seemed one conversational step ahead of him, that adamantly felt he should tell Applejack the truth.
It seemed wise. It certainly seemed smarter than him- he'd always lost the debates they had.
...What else was he to do?
Even the voice in his head thought it was a good idea.
Gradually, though there was a niggling little sense of panic scratching at his nape, Light focused back into his friend's face. Orange fur. White freckles. Half-circle frown. The physical world welcomed him back as coldly as it always did, and he let out a sigh that he felt press against his hooves.
"About... that..." he started, then stopped, because...
...
...yeah.
There was no use; there was no way to approach this easily. It was either too soft- too slow to make any sense, or it was too hard- too abrupt. Too insane.
Whoever had been speaking to him was right: there was no middle ground. He would either tell her, or he wouldn't.
Tell her... or not...
Tell... or keep a secret?
Tell...
Tell.
He had to tell her.
With his hooves against his chest, he could actually feel the pounding of his heart reverberating out into his arms, almost throbbing as it traveled further. It was strange, though, that he couldn't really hear it in his ears. He couldn't really hear anything besides the rustling noises of nature.
His voice, as well. He'd probably remember this for the rest of life with how stark it sounded.
"Applejack, there's something I need to tell you." His voice- sounding so distant in his throbbing ears, carried a profound sense of finality. To his own ears, and, he was guessing, to his friend's.
That might've been why she pressed a hoof to his lips.
"Ah... think I already know what you're gonna tell me, sugarcube." The firm shutdown of his attempt at honesty left him with widened eyes and silent lips hanging open as Applejack drew back. Still staring at him with... a reserved, conflicted sense of indecision in her hooded eyes as she stalled halfway back to sitting.
She bit her lip, staring down at the hoof she'd used to shush him. Light stared too. Following its movement all the way down as she suddenly reached forward to retake his idle hoof. She stayed in her restless lean forward as she guided his hoof up, and when it was between them, took hold of it with her other.
What was happening?
She continued to chew her lip as she maintained eye contact, until she shut her eyes, took a steady, smooth breath, and opened them again. Her face finally finding a gleam of resolution as her two-hooved grip firmed.
"Y'all ain't said it, but ah can figure out well enough why Nightmare Moon brought y'all to the castle." The stern pace of her voice played cruel games with his nerves as her frown deepened, and it lowered. "Don't take a genius like Twilight to figure it out, 'n I ain't fool enough to think otherwise."
It must've been getting harder for her to talk- harder for him to breathe- as her gaze lowered, and she audibly swallowed. "...Can imagine what y'all thought of it, too. How... you must've felt..."
She had the wrong idea. Where was she going with this? Why wasn't she pursuing the question she'd asked? Did she already know?
Her next breath came out thin, but the breath after was strong as she met his eyes again. Not a trace of the melancholy he'd heard in her voice within her gleaming, emerald gaze. Gleaming... glimmering with conviction. A rush of powerful certainty that shone in her eyes.
"You must've fought Her. I know you, an' I know you must'a thrown a fit."
He could see it. What he'd seen earlier- the flash of something deeper.
Before his wide eyes, every individual, innumerable strand of Applejack's soul began to blend into a different, shining color. Too many at once to count and far too quickly to process, like a weaving waterfall of falling paints.
Until her soul was a spinning kaleidoscope of the most beautiful rainbow he'd ever seen.
Every color shining in perfect harmony.
Her breathing was even. Her voice: steady. Calm. Certain.
"I know what y'all were gonna say, and I got somethin' to tell you, too."
He was dreaming. This wasn't happening. He was still sitting with a dopey grin on his face thinking of a future happily ever after with Applejack, because his reality was not this. Applejack was not taking a deep breath that only solidified every feeling of solid certainty on her face. Applejack was not meeting his unblinking gaze unwaveringly, as she tightly clutched his hoof with both of hers.
"It's somethin' ah been thinkin' 'bout for a while now... and last night, standin' and starin' down the edge a' that cliff after Dash pulled me up, ah finally knew. Ah just knew."
This couldn't be happening. He'd lied to her. He was lying to her. A lie of omission was still a lie, and Applejack had never let him answer her question. This couldn't happen without answering her.
"After I'd fallen all that way an' come so close to not comin' back up, it wasn't me or the girls or any a' my family ah thought of first."
He couldn't breathe. His vision was fading. His ears were popping. His mind was imploding. His body was failing. Reality was crumbling.
Applejack's face remained through every impossible hyperbole he tried to convince himself was true, and even then, as he began to wonder whether he'd ever woken up after hitting the ground at all, the shining note of emotion in her eyes was still so genuine.
"It was you, Light. Ah couldn't stop myself from thinkin' how you'd take it, a'fore anythin' else."
Don't say it. Don't say it- he didn't deserve it. Don't do this to him. Don't let him live in a stupid, fake fantasy. This wasn't happening because it was never going to happen because it was too good to be true and good things only happened to good ponies who told the truth and who didn't kill themselves to save the world because ponies who killed themselves couldn't ever be fortunate enough to come back to life and nopony in the entire world was fortunate enough for-
For Applejack to take a final breath. To fix him with a determined glare. To open her mouth to speak those words.
"I think... ah might be in love with you, Light."
There was nothing.
No noise.
No voices.
No visions.
No pain.
There was only Applejack. The pony whom he loved.
The pony who loved him.
For that single, world-shattering fact, there wasn't anything else to consider. Not his death, nor his incredible luck for having lived through it. Through his arrest and his interrogation. To this moment.
This perfect, unattainable, unforgettable moment.
His hoof held in hers by the side of a stream she'd pushed him into, with the cool shade of the forest hanging over them under the darkening, blue sky. The sound of the rustling leaves. The sporadic call of birdsong in the air. The pre-dusk breeze running over their coats.
There wasn't anything wrong.
She loved him.
He was glad. So... so glad he wasn't dead.
All of this- this miracle had only happened because of his miraculous second chance, and he'd never forget that.
For every day that he lived from here on, he would live. He would truly live.
It was time to stop waiting for tomorrow.
He was going to make the most of life.
With the endless reverberations of the sentence he never wanted to stop hearing playing on repeat in his ears, he felt Applejack's- his love's- hooves go slack on his. She was starting to turn away- beginning to tear up. The hurt on her face at a silence too long growing with every half-second.
With her eyes fallen low- how did she not see it on his face?- her voice came out in a thick warble. "Ah'm- ah'm sorry- I-" Her head was shaking- the tears were coming, and her voice only grew thinner. "Ah didn't... ah thought..."
Whatever other thing she was about to say bordering on tears didn't matter. It didn't matter than Light had spent too long in silence, or that she'd cringed away in pure regret. Nothing would ever matter ever again.
The only thing in the world that mattered to Light was the next moment.
When he returned firm hold of her hoof, leaned forward, and pressed his lips to hers.
Applejack was not a patient pony, nor was she one to dawdle. For as long as it seemed in the dark of his own eyes with his lips against hers, it only took her a few seconds of surprise to lean in. To return the motion as her hooves climbed up his sides. Hugging his back a moment before he reciprocated- because who needed hoof holding?
In the face of their first kiss, everything else seemed tame. It all seemed slow. It all seemed lesser.
Nothing was as beautiful as she was. Nothing was as vibrant, or colorful.
Applejack was life given form.
And he'd finally stolen her away.
Hey guys.
Hey- hey guys. Guys. Guess what?
I saw Applejack and Light Flow kissing by the river. 
Yep. Mhm. You just read what you read. It happened- it finally happened 380k words after Light first started daydreaming about how pretty Applejack was. Thinking and denying and sporadically insulting her... oh the memories...
Who would've thought way back when that this was where we'd be? 
Hey everybody, did you realize? This is where the story STARTS! We've gotten past the preamble and the first episode of My Little Pony, and now we're free to explore! Light can do anything! He's tired of wasting his life, he's gotten what he's always wanted, and there are exactly one million potential plot points to follow! 
...Y'know, after the next intermission. We've still got to see the last chapter of Bon Bon's story in all of this. I'm talking about after that- that's when we're gonna stat having fun! Just wait for when that starts!
Gosh... you know, I really miss the pointless meandering of Light sitting around his cabin and devoting 300% more energy to thinking than I ever have. You think he'll start doing that again when he starts learning more about magic? That'd probably be a good use of his time, wouldn't it?
When he's not with his marefriend, that is. let's not slap a label on it yet, though. or do. we'll see what happens.
A few last things. I had 6k words on this chapter when I published the last one, and I ended up totally starting from scratch! That's what happens when you cycle in and out of hating your own writing! 
I've become a fan of a romantically shy Applejack after seeing an artist named chub-wub's shipping art of her and Strawberry Sunrise, from honest apple so that's more or less what inspired me to make her so darn reticent. In my mind, she'd either be really withdrawn or really forward, and in the end, I ended up depicting both!
Applejack's actually my least favorite of the Mane 6! Bet'cha never would've thought that! I mean, I love her to bits, of course, but I just like everyone else a bit more. Light, however, feels very differently.
Sometimes, I get worried about how much Applejack says y'all n' all them other countryisms n' such, but then I remember that I live in the country, and I know several people who express even worse tics! I'm validated!
mmmmm-I think that's it! Good work, today! Light and Applejack made out! I'm gonna be more descriptive about it when next we see them! Light never told Applejack about his special tale-
Oh... Light never told Applejack about his special talent.
You think that might cause trouble in the future? 
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We need way more necromancy in EQ :I
Used to play Calliphora (one of Chrysis sisters) as a Necro... ~ with a manic depressed skeleton as sidekick lol
My Heart!!!! It feel's!!!
Holy shit. It's finally here.
...He's still lying to her, though.
So from tomorrow. Always tomorrow...
i.imgflip.com/1rbawy.jpg
Me these last few chapters:
media.tenor.com/CRXssSQblsoAAAAC/tell-her.gif
Alrighty then,
one two threea few more chapters left of the prologue, i guess.memecreator.org/static/images/memes/3643098.jpg
Honesty?
11627061
...ish.
11627049
One... two... three... Save it for tomorrow...
These are all relics of the past; let's focus on the future! Tomorrow has come; the night is over; dawn will rise. It's time to embark on a new, better chapter of TSN!
...Theoretically. We'll see how it works out.
getting to the end of this chapter, and the previous intermission and people still havent reacted to the fact that Light has died, and revived himself is killing me.
You, the Author, have us, the Readers, right where you want us, bent over a barrel, ready to have your way with us.
Good chapter, I'm eagerly awaiting the next.
11627064
Yec im very good to inglisc language
this is definitely going to cause a interesting new dynamic between twilight and applejack
11627009
cant blame him,its his defense mechanic, when you have all powerful alicorns in your head or messing with your head, lying even to yourself is the only defense you have, even if it a flimsy defense
Honesty: Light Flow Style.
Though on another note I wonder if this soul ability of Light's is a double edged sword, like was he influenced by the Honesty of Applejack's soul (either alone or possibly boosted by the Element) into being more honest with her than normal? Or was that simply due to their relationship?
11627250
Interesting thought! And as much as I'd like to extrapolate, it's an entirely unprecedented theory, so there's nothing I can really say to confirm or deny it!
It's not much of a discussion on what the light show in Applejack's soul meant- definitely related to Honesty- so we know for sure there was some Harmonic influence at play. Whether that meant there was a tangible effect or it was just Applejack unconsciously attuning herself to her Element by remaining true to its virtue is up in the air- though if it was having an effect on Light in any way, there'd probably be a tell.
Did Light seem unlike himself? Was his conviction to tell Applejack based on his own resolve, or did it seem forced? Did he decide this on his own? Was there anything particularly unnatural about Light's journey to his conclusion, and if so, to what source should it be attributed?
I can't give any answers, and I don't like stomping on theorycrafting, so try to come to a logical conclusion on your own. Be incisive, and think critically. We have prior experience with Light's thoughts being swayed and tampered with unnaturally, so trust your instincts.
Thanks for commenting, and for reading! I love that you're thinking deeply on the events as they've been shown, and I earnestly entreat you to continue for future chapters!
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Prepare yourself; I'm going in dry.
thanks so much for commenting; I hope to see you again soon
Thanks for the chapter!
Now onto the word vomit
:
How many deaths by Twilight will Light face after she finds out about him and Applejack?
Was the foreign voice in his head Harmony, Nightmare or something Else?
Does a necromancer's kiss have any side effects ( like soul / life steal)?
If this was a cultivation novel then Light would either solve or cause every one of his possible heart demons in 5 seconds of mental gymnastics.
Since he has a dinner with both Fluttershy and Applejack should we expect a herd or will this be a mono fic?
Since Light has died does he still have to pay taxes? Like i doubt that the Sun loving Equestria has laws that say that undeads have to pay taxes so...
How Ć̸̦̝̖̤̮͚̮̻̫̿̏̇͌̒̓͠ḩ̴̞̰̝̼͚̟͉̾̓̀̒̆͐͜͠a̴̢̰̣̳͝ȏ̶̢̰̲͚̭̱͆͂͗̀̐̅́͜t̵̳̫̹̻͊͒̍i̸͔͈̻̺̰̎̄́c̵̞͇͑̔̚ will Pinkies soul be?
Do the Elements give passive powers and if so is Applejack aware of it?
Will the Elements be transferred to Canterlot like in cannon?
Will Celestia be angry that Light ( The Necromancer Who Has Returned From Beyond The Veil ) is romantically involved with a bearer of an Element of Harmony?
What a winded prologue roller coaster this has been!
I was already imagining what a stoic and lost Light father figure would look in contrast to a boisterous and orangy mother. That perfect ending got me to wondering what their foal would become. Especially with how Light's manerism has been rubbing off onto Applejack!
It feels like the American Gothic painting is turning out to be Light Flow and Applejack. Pitchfork included!
Hell, if Light doesn't spill everything about that night, it'll be a treat to witness when it will inevitably be brought up months or years down the road.
But, I definitely love the idea that he tells Applejack and convinced her to not tell a soul! A perfect win-win where Light teaches AJ the ropes of proper lying and him getting his persuasive training he wanted. The best trust bonding scenario!
Heck, I want to believe they start by lying about their relationship to everyone else, regardless of whether Light spills it or not.
Lastly, if Bon Bon doesn't finish her report to the princesses, she's gonna have a bad time when Twilight or Light themself appears. Or maybe this is when the princesses have canonically concluded the end of S.M.I.L.E.?
It'd be interesting if she did that to hide anypony's involvement with Necromancer and not because of a Bugbear. Especially since it looks like Twilight doesn't fully know of Celestia's involvement with Light.
To answer your question, I doubt he might spill and it will cause a rocky relationship. But I wanna believe that he does! I imagine these two are the perfect partners in crime! The shadowy stallion and the Element of Honesty duo! They'll never suspect a thing!
I almost can't believe Light is a full grown stallion now.
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What a lovely comment with so many lovely questions! I'll do my best to answer them!
It's funny to imagine Twilight freaking out over LightJack, but it's probably not going to be that big a deal to her. They may share the burden of being Element Bearers, but they have only just met, so they're not exactly best friends. Applejack's life is her own, and though Twilight seems to disapprove of Light's general existence, it's not her responsibility to tell her new friend who not to date.
...That said, if she thought there was any chance she could tell Applejack to not see Light, she'd probably give it a try.
About that voice in Light's head... well, he found it prudent to make a very adamant distinction between how it'd felt when Nightmare Moon was in his head. To his own words, he didn't feel as though the voice was intrusive or in his head, he clearly felt as though something external was speaking to his head. As though there was something somewhere else that was just talking to him. To say it a little more transparently: like something was projecting its voice into his head.
With that obliquely said, the intent of this voice is up in the air. As of yet, it was so benign and supplicant to Light's thought processes that he'd not even noticed it until now, even though it's been happening for quite a little while. If you hadn't noticed, because it was much less frequent than I'd remembered Light's been having what he assumed was a series of internal arguments with himself, in which this second party always managed to refute Light's arguments to the mutual extent of a final, inarguable conclusion.
Whatever its intent, Light found the presence and various messages of this voice so agreeable that he didn't even think to freak out about it when he found out. That's what's really interesting.
About a Necromancer's kiss... I'm gonna lift the veil back and give a hearty answer of probably not! That's a bit of a silly concept, isn't it? Light's not some mythical creature who grants wishes, he's just an ordinary dork with the apparent power to autonomously resurrect himself. For there to be an effect to his kiss...
...he'd have to will it.
I didn't know what a cultivation novel was until I looked it up, and now I do, and that's pretty funny!
I considered a herding dynamic for a while, but If I suddenly introduced that concept into this society that has until now shown no signs of such a schema, there'd be definite backlash! So... nope! That'd be creatively bankrupt!
Light wishes he didn't have to pay taxes anymore! He already pays so little since he lives on the worst property imaginable, but death does not grant one the ability to evade taxes! Taxes are eternal!
Pinkie Pie's soul? Ṱ̴̘̂h̵͙͔̆͠e̵̼͒ṟ̴͎̽e̷͈͌̒ͅ'̶̨̪̒ṣ̷̐͝ ̴̘̞̀͠a̵̳̎ ̷̰̲͌́r̶̿̚͜e̸̯̪̓͐á̸̮̖̋s̵̟̙̏̇o̶͕̼̊̔ṉ̸̈͝ ̸̗̈́̀t̷̮͗͝h̴̤̑̉ȅ̵̱̍ ̵̣͛s̸̝͓̃̀u̸̠͊͠b̸͖̮̆͘j̶̮̫̿e̸̱͆͜c̸̬̾̎t̸͎̀'̷͖͋͘ŝ̷̯̑ ̶͎̓̊͜ḅ̴̛͇̄e̸̻̋̚e̸̹̰͗ṇ̷̿̌͜ ̷̝͐a̷̧͆v̵͙͐o̷͜͝ī̷̡ḏ̷͚͌ę̸̆̇ḋ̵̥͓ ̴͕̼͋̏s̷̞̹̓ǫ̶͈̊͠ ̵̤̐͆f̸͖̳͗͠â̶̜r̶̔ͅ!̶͈͝
I enjoy that thought that the Elements, being highly lauded magical artifacts gifted by the highest form of power on Equus, would grant their sole Bearers various benefits for their fealty to its paradigm, but they've only just been bestowed. If there are any effects to be passed, I don't think they'd be bestowed so easily as a mask and cowl. Magic has to have time to seep into an individual.
However that may be implemented into this story, I certainly think the Mane 6 grew more powerful as the series went on. Applejack got stronger and Dash got faster and Pinkie Pie got weirder.
Though, if that's true, then the Elements would have to stay with their Bearers. I don't like saying anything definitively, but if I were to go with that concept, then Celestia would probably think it best to keep the Elements in Ponyville. and maybe assign some additional protection. take that as foreshadowing
And speaking of Celestia and whether She'd have any opinion on one of the new foremost guardians of Equestria against its greatest foes shacking up with somepony She seems to consider as having the potential to be one of Equestria's greatest foes, well...
...She'll have to find out first!
Thanks for commenting, and for the fun questions!
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At least three things you just said made me giggle out loud, so thank you very much for being funnier than I am.
It really is so heartening to see our little Light so grown up and making almost correct decisions. He came so close to spilling his oldest secret, and I'm so proud of him. He's grown so much from that wimpy little colt who touched a dead bunny and started crying. He's... sort of mature now!
Well, if we overlook that he didn't tell Applejack his secret and that he had a few breakdowns along the way and that he still internally insults her. Other than that reductive half of his personality that wins out more often than not, he's totally mature!
And who knows, he might manage to overcome every one of his instincts to push Applejack away from the kiss he's always wanted and tell her the thing he's most afraid of. Something that she might just hate him for, and that most definitely won't cause him to lose what he's always wanted.
That seems like something Light Flow would do, doesn't it?
...It really would be cute if he did tell her and she didn't tell anypony because she just loves him s'darn much, but to be honest? The history of this story isn't exactly on his side when it comes to owning up.
We can only wait and see, and hope that Light proves us wrong.
Thanks for commenting, and for reading! Seeing comments from regulars like you and a few others always brings a smile to my face!
the tangled web of bon bon's story will conclude next time