38. The Suitor, Part 6: Unnecessary Injuries
Radish stood on guard in a gallery room exhibiting photographs of Equestria’s roadside attractions. Celestia and Halcyon walked in, chatting about an upcoming Wonderbolt derby. Radish chewed the inside of his cheek as they neared.
“Radish Root,” said Halcyon, seriously. “I am glad to see you again. I beg your forgiveness for my behavior yesterday. I am ashamed of myself.”
“Don’t worry about it, sir. I’m sorry, as well.”
“Thank you, that is a relief.”
“What’s this, now? What did you two get up to yesterday?” Celestia asked.
“Oh,” said Radish coolly, “it was a silly little disagreement about-”
“You,” said Halcyon.
Radish sighed.
“Me?” asked Celestia.
“I was enraged at his cutie marks. I assumed they were debasing your honor.”
“Ah, that,” said Celestia. “Don’t worry. I’ve known Radish since he was a child. He could never debase me.”
“Uh, thank you, ma’am,” said Radish, slowly.
“I am impressed by this gallery of photographic arts,” said Halcyon, gesturing at the walls. “My society had not advanced this far before the disasters. Was this a result of friendship as well?”
“Yes,” said Celestia. “There were two ponies each vying to invent a camera they could sell to the public. Only when they formed a partnership could they crack the final design together.”
“Ah, so then a friendship can be born from a competition?” Halcyon asked.
“Indeed,” said Celestia. “That’s a nice way to put it.”
“Then perhaps Radish Root and I could be good friends, after all!”
Radish winced. Celestia looked at Halcyon, concerned.
“Sir,” said Radish, “I don’t think of us as being in any kind of competition.”
“But you compete in the castle’s fighting games, do you not?”
Celestia raised an eyebrow.
“The… oh! You mean intramural wrestling,” Radish said.
“Radish, you’re wrestling?” Celestia asked.
“Aye, ma’am.”
“Then I would like to, as well,” said Halcyon. “Radish and I will face each other in competition, and thus will become friends.”
Halcyon grinned widely. Radish kept his gaze neutral. Celestia frowned.
“Halcyon,” she said, “you are several weight classes above Radish. It would be unfair, and quite dangerous to him.”
Radish inhaled sharply. “Actually, ma’am, we’re using the Variant Two ruleset. There are no weight classes.”
“That ruleset all but invites unnecessary injuries,” said Celestia. “I’ve often considered banning it.”
“Your guards have to be prepared to take on creatures of any size,” said Radish. “Fighting outside our weight class makes us better-equipped to protect you.”
“Ah, you see, Princess Celestia?” said Halcyon. “He is prepared to fight me… for your sake. And I am, as well.”
Celestia shrugged. “If that’s what you want. Come. It’s lunchtime, and the chef has made something special for us.”
Radish finished his shift and walked through the back halls. Celestia rounded a corner in front of him.
“Come with me,” she said, and walked on. He followed her into a parlor Radish had never been in. Its walls were a rich green trimmed with dark brown wood. The furniture was similarly colored. Radish recalled from the Guard manual that this room was intended to invoke the tranquility of a forest. Radish did not feel tranquil.
“Radish, you and I haven’t yet spoken to each other about Halcyon. I want to have that conversation now.”
“Ma’am, I’m here to protect your guests, not opine on them.”
“I am not oblivious to the tension between you two. It is common knowledge, even to him, that you were my suitor- a suitor I rejected.”
Radish took a deep breath. “Ma’am, I was just a silly little kid. I’d like to move on from those days.”
“And though he hasn’t said as much, it’s obvious that Halcyon is romantically interested in me.”
“I… suppose. But you must get hopeful suitors in here all the time.”
“I don’t.”
“Really? But you’re so…”
Radish quickly shut his mouth and looked away.
“No, finish the thought, please,” Celestia said.
“You’re so amazing. I assumed you get a never-ending stream of princes and nobleponies and legendary heroes coming here asking for your hoof in marriage.”
“Have you ever seen one?”
“I, uh, guess not. I’m sorry.”
“Would you give me your honest opinion about Halcyon?”
“He’s a bit loud.”
Celestia laughed. “He comes from a very windy place. I can’t wait to see it.”
“You’re going to the Edgelands? Soon?”
“Very soon. He and I will journey to the Edgelands together, so that I may meet his people and assess their situation in person.”
“A journey like that could take a long time. Months.”
“Yes, and that excites me. It’s been eons since I’ve been on a true expedition into unknown lands. I never dreamt I would get to see the cradle of ungulate civilization, with one of its own people as my guide.”
“I’m… happy for you.”
“We will be spending many long hours together as we rebuild his civilization. And after that, I think I may like to spend even more time with him. Perhaps… many long years with him.”
Radish looked down at his boots. Celestia took a step closer to him.
“What do you think about all that?” she asked, gently.
“So you…” Radish took a deep breath and cut himself off.
“What? Ask. Please. I won’t punish you.”
“So you love him, then?”
Celestia stood tall, closing her eyes to consider her answer.
“I’ve been asking myself that very question. I don’t know. I can tell you that I feel a fondness for him that I haven’t felt for a stallion in a long, long, time. It could be the beginning of something.”
“You told me…” Radish looked aside and bit his lip.
“What did I tell you?”
“When I was a kid, you told me you’d never marry, because your responsibilities to Equestria were too great.”
“Ah, I remember. But that burden is eased now. Luna co-rules with me, while Twilight’s group sees to many important matters in my stead.”
“Oh.”
“Does that upset you?”
“What do you want me to say!?” Radish hissed through gritted teeth. “Why are you even asking me about it? We both know I never had a chance with you. Just live your life however you want.”
Celestia knelt down to his eye level.
“Radish, you and I have been getting along so well lately. I thought you were over your precocial infatuation with me. I thought we had built a friendly, professional relationship.”
“I am. We have.”
“You can’t get into arguments with every stallion who takes an interest in me.”
“That’s not what happened!”
“Radish… I really need you to move on from me. For your sake as well as mine.”
“I have.”
“Have you, now? You don’t desire me? Even just a little bit?”
“No.”
“What if I gave you one last, desperate chance? Would you leap at it?”
“What?”
“The last time you proposed to me was when you were a colt. Have you considered proposing to me as a stallion?”
“That would be inappropriate,” he responded. “A fireable offense.”
“Let’s waive propriety for now. Try asking again.”
“No.”
“Please. I’m as curious as you are what my answer will be.”
“I know what your answer will be.”
“I don’t. Perhaps I will choose you over him.”
“Celestia… will you marry me?”
“No.”
She stood up and frowned.
“Hmm. Interesting. I’m sorry, Radish. That was unprofessional.”
“Unprofessional!?”
“You’d be well within your rights to report me for misconduct.”
Radish narrowed his eyes and growled, “I’d be well within my rights to-!”
“Yes?”
He took a deep breath. “Will there be anything else, madam?”
“No. Dismissed.”
Spats entered his bunk’s shower room with a towel draped over his neck and a basket of toiletries in his aura. He saw Radish sitting on the sink counter holding a double-edged safety razor in his mouth.
“Radical? I mean, Radish? What are you doing?”
“Something I should have done a long time ago,” Radish said, around the razor’s long handle in his teeth.
Spats put down his basket and approached cautiously. He inhaled sharply at what he saw. Radish had applied a thick foam of shaving soap to his right cutie mark.
“Radish! No!”
“I’m done with her, Spats. I’m done with these.”
“How could you!?”
“This is long overdue. I’ll keep my flanks bare until they go bald.”
“You’re using my shave soap, Radish!? I get that from an uptown import shop for seventy bits a bar!”
“You’re right, Spats. It’s too good for her. Store brand is all she deserves.”
Radish scooted his flank under the sink faucet and washed the soap off.
“No, don’t waste it!” howled Spats as he ran forward, watching the expensive lather drain away. “Oh… Rad. What did she do to you?”
Radish applied his own canned shaving cream to his cutie mark and rubbed it in.
“I tried to move on, Spats. I really did. But she wouldn’t have it. She won’t let me drop her from my heart. So I’m dropping her from my fur.”
Radish pressed the razor against the top of the little Celestia’s head, and, with a quick downward motion, shaved it off. Spats winced.
“Radish! Stop!”
“Why?”
“Shave with the grain, not against it!”
“Fur has grain?”
“Yes, Radish,” sighed Spats. “Fur has grain. Hold still.”
Spats took the razor in his aura and washed out the fur. He held the razor to the little Celestia’s body.
“You really want to do this?” Spats asked.
“Yes.”
“Shaving off your marks is against dress code, you know.”
“So is polishing your armor with sea serpent wax.”
“I guess we’re both scofflaws, huh?”
Spats shaved off the little Celestia’s body, exposing pale pink skin underneath. He scraped away her multicolored mane and tail. Radish watched her go, and felt his body relax in places that had been clenched since he was a child.
“You okay?” Spats asked.
“Yes.”
“And the little you? Want him gone?”
“Yes. He wants to go with her.”
“Oh? Okay.”
Spats shaved the little Radish away, from his hooves to his mane, until there was nothing of the cutie mark left.
Radish closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the mirror, letting out a sigh of relief that fogged a large patch of it.
“I have to clean up these edges,” said Spats. “If I had better tools, I could do a nice bit of stallionscaping, but-”
“A big square bald patch is fine,” chuckled Radish.
Spats worked on the edges for a few minutes. Radish approved.
“Okay, one down,” said Radish. “But I’d like to do the other. I need to learn. I’m going to be doing this for the rest of my life, after all.”
Radish went to work on his other cutie mark under Spat’s guidance. Soon he had finished. Radish felt his bare skin and smiled appreciatively.
“How does it feel?” Spats asked.
“Like I just dropped a huge burden off my back. I can’t thank you enough, Spats.”
“Yes you can. You can buy me more soap.”
“Worth it.”
Another guard, Bunker Buster, entered the bathroom, also with an aura full of toiletries.
“Whoa, you got rid of them?” he asked.
“Yep,” said Radish, unable to take his eyes off his flanks.
“Shining will have your head, you know. Cutie shaving is against regs.”
“So is dyeing your tail, Bunker Buster,” retorted Spats.
“It went prematurely gray!”
“You dye it gray.”
“Yeah, fog gray, like it used to be. And it still is, as far as the captain knows. Got it?”
“Got it,” said Spats.
Radish continued to sit and admire his bare flanks. His eyes started to tear up.
“So, you’ve never done that before now?” asked Bunker Buster.
“It always seemed taboo, you know? Like they weren’t mine to lose. Like I’d be breaking cosmic law.”
He hopped off the counter and gazed at his reflection from other angles.
“But they’re my flanks. My fur. My cutie marks. They are mine to lose. And they’re out of here. If cosmic law wants them, it can chase them down the drain.”
He pulled Spats and Bunker Buster into a tight hug. “I feel so free! Is this how you guys feel all the time?”
Spats and Bunker Buster looked at each other. They shrugged.
“Yeah, Rad,” said Spats.
“We’re happy for you,” said Bunker Buster.
“So, what do normal, regular ponies who don’t have pornography on their asses do for fun around here?”
“Uh, the bowling alley’s open,” offered Spats. “It’s free for guards.”
“Sounds fun. Come on, the beers are on me.”
“Now you’re talking,” said Spats.
“I think I’m going to like the new Radish,” said Bunker Buster.
“Me, too,” said Radish. “I can’t wait to meet him.”
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This was quite a big moment for raddish. even if things get better between them in the future i wonder if he will continue shaving? If he does and gets in trobule for it he could make it so that celestia herself has to order him to keep them just to make her have to have a offical voice and stance of his mark.
I wonder if after this he will start to disconnect from the things he has done for celestia and either find joy elsewere or find a new reason to do it. I dont think he would do well staying a guard so maby quitting and going back to the rangers would be in the future for him should he sucsessfully continue in his path of taking back his life
Whoa. Wasn't expecting that, but I suppose it'd been a long time coming. Who knows where the story is going to go next?
Seriously, can’t Celestia see how she’s torturing him? It’s annoying to see him try to move on, only for others to constantly keep bringing the subject back.
I like how he finally got rid of his marks. If I was him I would’ve skinned/branded them off a long time ago.
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seems thats why he is shaving his mark off. Everyone wont let him move on mentaly so he is gonna show that he isnt playing around anymore.
Im currently hoping that raddish does move on and after whatever is going on with celestia and luna clears up he continues getting better without the need to justify or impress either of them anymore
I'm hoping that this was either Celestia's way of helping Radish finally cut off his feelings for her, or Chrysalis in disguise testing his feelings. I'm leaning towards the former, but will happily except the latter, because I really don't want Celestia to be a giant douche.
Why are most of the important characters for this arc dicks? Makes it a pain to read
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I think it is a sign that Radish needs to remove himself from that group of people. He should remain in contact with Spats, but ghost everyone (including Luna and Twilight).
Yeah there's something extremely wrong with this entire situation, I don't buy the fact that Halcyon being here and Luna being attacked in the dream world is some magical coincidence, I doubt Halcyon is super competitive about Celestia because he likes her, cause when he was told that the mark has nothing to do with their current situation, he backs off a tad in realization, and I most surely don't buy Celestia being an absolute bitch nugget to Radish for...basically no reason, goading him into a fit of rage trying to call back to his feeling's and his mark while he's been trying his damnedest to move past it in some way shape or form.
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I think shaving his cutie mark was more of metaphorical freedom than physical or magical, like when you cleaned your room when you were younger but instead of actually doing it you just stuff everything into the closet or under a rug.
It's chrysalis, it has to be... both as halcyon and as Celestia when she met bumped into radish at the end. Her 'interesting' line was because she doesn't feel the love she expected from him.
In any event I'll be looking forward to this arc being over... there are too many things that should be raising red flags with everypony and everypony seems to be just overly willing to shrug them off.
Don't get me wrong, it's well written, but several chapters where you want to just dope slap half the cast in a row is an exercise in frustration as a reader.
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I suspect she's being manipulated and doesn't even realize it.
I also suspect that it was important for Halocyn to see Radish's marks, and that his shaving them off will come into play later on.
Man fuck Celestia. She was a total bitch there. She did all that to sate her own curiosity and yet here she is not taking responsibility for it. She ruined him. She did not consider anything but her own worthless feeling for a stallion she just met just so she could force herself to consider a possibility that would send another into a depressive state and I for one hope she gets her comeuppance.
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I'm pretty sure Changeling, cause this weirdly feel's like changeling stuff where important people are either ill in someway, or everyone is acting extremely weird like nothing is going wrong.
it's Discord.
and yet Luna is under attack??
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doesnt feel like discords style. Mabey a fan of his? getting close to celestia and taking over after a "mystery affliction" spreads from luna to celestia seems like what might happen here. A nice parralel to raddish could be it but i dont know what that would be.
I NEED to see the resolution to this arc. Because at every turn Radish has been scorned, going as far as to shave his marks off. After the dust settles Radish needs some upwind. Perhaps a personal apology from Celestia?
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I honestly don't think Radish will lose. Being a earth pony very much in tune with that magic, along with having wrestled Buffalo which are likely bigger than even halcyon means that he has good chances of at least putting halcyon to a stale mate.
Cutie marks don’t really go away when shaving. It’s still there just not visible to the eye. Really I’m hoping this is more of a hint towards what it will be like when he meant Starlight since she would make sense to actually take away not just the mark but the magic that makes the mark since that isn’t possible by shaving.
Also, Radish should had asked Celestia about Luna’s sickness because not once has there been any word that she as checked on her or aware she is sick… also, leaving to another nation for months or years when she is needed for the canon of the show to raise Twilight to be the next princess? Yea, this Halcyon fella is going to be that kind of relationship we’re at first she likes him but then she gets to really know his heart that which shows it’s not really love.
Poor Radish he is going to be walking about bare clean shaved flank around isn’t he? The mares will faint that’s for sure
Btw thanks for 2 chapters!
No, I don’t believe this guy is a Changling, Discord, or even Cadence…
also, pls don’t miss out the opportunity to use Starlight taking away his mark to really free him.
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I hope you mean a genuine heartfelt sort of apology. Not the type of genuine that skirts around and around, while not actually saying sorry.
I love this story, the characters and just everything. I'm get so immersed I get angry every time someone scolds Radish for something he can't control. Hell when celestia did her little stunt I had to walk away because she really pissed me off something fierce and with everyone seemingly blaming Radish for just being a pony I can't wait for the payoff and have this blow up in their faces and it's going to be so great.
In other words I absolutely love this story and can't wait for the next chapter.
Serves her right for antagonizing and trying to get him fired more or less. I still think Halcyon will be the problem here, they will have a field day with him shaving his marks off. Everyone will give him crap now since they will find out what he did. Which is bull honky since nobody likes him for the marks in the first place.
KEEP MAKING THIS I'M ADDICTED.
I don’t want the canon Canterlot Wedding to be changed. I think it would be a great story take for Radish since the whole story is center on believing in Twilight when she notices that Cadance is a imposter while her brother is being mind control.
Also, you can see that Shining is like a friend or bro to Radish in his own ways and Radish probably won’t want his friend to marry a bug.
Halcyon is a guy. Period. He is a Pony. Period. The way he talks and acts towards Radish isn’t the same characters that are from the show. I really don’t want to think badly of people who assume Halcyon is some pony/creature and more or less saying he is a girl… in disguise when none of that is ever really written that way.
Halcyon is a really cool OC villain for Radish which I really wonder if maybe Radish go over to his place to check it out.
oh, and here are a few features of Halcyon. Provocateur and intriguer.
Well, the dialogue between Celestia and Radish, Celestia is limping in friendship with Radish, very strange for her...
but the fact that Shining foresaw the option of a provocation by Halcyon suggests that not all are fools. There are sensible guardians.
Okay, so before I get into some deeper analysis, a few hot-takes:
YOU'RE ON HIS CUTIE MARK, YOU ABSOLUTE DOLT!!! NOPONY JUST "GETS OVER" THEIR CUTIE MARK!!!
And this was where, as much as it sounds like an old cliche, I realized that this wasn't the real Princess Celestia. I'm sorry, but while she can be a bit arrogant, and sometimes a bit thoughtless, but she's never deliberately cruel like this. Goading Radish by telling him that maybe, just maybe, he still has a chance with her? No, not with how this story is trying to portray her as still being the kindhearted princess that the show presents her as. I call changeling.
Of course, the thing of it is, if that is a changeling, it's not Chrysalis. Chrysalis was never that good of an actor; just look at how she played Cadance as being a bitchy bridezilla to how she was as a photographer in The Mean 6 (season eight, episode thirteen), where she very nearly lost her composure when told to take a picture of Starlight. I know we're coming up to where she should appear, given this series' fidelity to the show, but this...this is a level of competence that is, quite frankly, beyond her capability. Maybe that was the real Celestia, and she's under some subtle brainwashing effect? We know Chrysalis can ensorcell ponies.
Also, credit where it's due, the next scene made me snicker with how it was presented (i.e. Radish committing suicide) versus what it actually was (shaving off his cutie mark). On a side note, I don't know why, but it never occurred to me that a pony's cutie mark was a pattern on their fur; I suppose I thought of it as being like an actual tattoo, where it's on the skin, but that doesn't make much sense, since the fur would cover it up. So...I guess it can be shaved off. Huh.
Having said all of that, there's a more general observation that I've come to with regard to this story:
I think that I, and quite possibly most of its reading audience, misunderstood the type of tale that this was. Because while the tags might say "adventure," "comedy," and "drama" – and it does have those – they're aspects of what's here rather than what the story is.
Which is a tragedy.
This story is, ultimately, a tragic one. Or at least, that's what it looks like after having read every chapter up until now.
And the funny thing is, there was a major hint about that which was given to all of us right from the get-go, and we all missed it (or at least I did): the story's title.
"The only mark that matters" was presented to us as the first half of a larger phrase, the second part being "is the mark you leave on the world." That's the saying that motivates Radish to join the Royal Guard, even if he's still harboring designs on Celestia. But the thing is, we the reading audience know that's not true. Leaving aside the requisite dickering over what "matters" means, the understanding is that a satisfactory life (i.e. one that you can take pride in having lived) can be achieved if you make a positive contribution that improves things for your country, your people, and the entire world...even if you don't find personal fulfillment (i.e. happiness) in doing so.
Now, you can argue the truth of that with regard to humans, but for ponies, who have what makes them happy emblazoned on their flank, that's a bit of a harder row to hoe. Simply put, they know what makes them happy, and moreover have crafted a society where seeking that happiness and fulfilling what they're "meant" to do is, in Equestria, taken to be a worthwhile endeavor. Not pursuing their cutie mark is a surefire way to guarantee that, regardless of what a pony accomplishes, they won't be happy.
Enter Radish Root.
This story is a tragedy, because it's about a pony who's trying like hell to find some meaning in his life after he's told in the very first chapter that he'll never have what (or rather, who) makes him happy. And regardless of whether he succeeds or not, he's never going to be fulfilled on a personal level by that. It's like trying to take as much vitamin B as you can to make up for a vitamin C(elestia) deficiency; the former will never make up for the latter.
And that's not even getting into the fact that Radish's successes have been quite often rendered moot, classified and kept secret, or simply presented as being altogether minor accomplishments that are overlooked or ignored (i.e. the archeological discovery that brought him to Canterlot to begin with). So even in that, he's in an uphill struggle, because Equestrian society still puts a premium on a pony's cutie mark, and the aberrant nature of his is one that repulses most other ponies...and which singles him out as being "meant" for one particular mare anyway.
This story is a tragedy.
Radish Root is a tragic hero, and at this point it's honestly beginning to look like he's not even going to be allowed to be much of a hero, either. While he's absolutely demonstrated amazing emotional resilience (which, as of this chapter, is starting to crack), every single indication we've been given is that he'll never get the girl, which means he'll never realize his destiny, and so never become who he was meant to be. He might very well leave a mark on the world, but that won't keep his bed warm at night. He takes pride in his job, but pride doesn't give you a family. At some point, he's going to realize that he might be a good guard, perhaps even a very good one, but that the satisfaction that knowledge brings is a poor substitute for joy.
The clue about this story's nature was right there in front of us all along, and I'm betting that we all missed it, but at this point the cat's out of the bag. My desire to root for Radish is rapidly withering, being replaced by a certainty that he is, at this point, Equestria's whipping
boycolt, and that there's no reward for his hard work...at least, not in the form of him getting the girl (by which I mean Celestia, since his attempt to pursue Fluttershy made it clear that he can't bring himself to seriously go after anyone else).At this point, I just feel sorry for him more than anything else, and that's a shame, because I want a protagonist who evokes more than pity.
I'd rather be an oathbreaker than keep being abused like that.
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That's an important question. WAY too many people are being dicks to him, about Celestia specifically. It's not natural.
I'll be very disappointed if it was just author fiat and not something with an actual in-story explanation.
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"I'm sorry you felt attacked. I'm sorry you got angry. I'm implicitly not sorry for anything I did though since I'm implying you're the problem."
The Politician's Apology is such an infuriating thing, isn't it? In fact they usually avoid saying the word "sorry" entirely and say things like "It's terrible that you felt attacked". Gotta make sure not to accidentally accept personal responsibility for anything.
I keep thinking I should write a story about an Equestrian secret service (secretly staffed mostly by changelings) that keeps tabs on what is actually happening in the background.
Captain Shining Armor is giving me major Sergeant Carter vibes, I like it
Whoa, Celestia suddenly turned into a gigantic douche canoe. My guess is that she's being mind controlled, if that even is Celestia.
I finally logged in here after awhile and got caught up on this story--I think I had like seven or eight chapters to read, and I breezed through them without even noticing the time pass by. Definite proof of this being a well-written story throughout. :) It's also a completely unpredictable story, as I legitimately never have any idea where you're going to take things. And judging by the amount of speculation going on in the comments, I can tell I'm not the only one with that opinion ;) It definitely keeps me on my toes and makes this whole experience a very unique and fun one.
The world-building in particular continues to be one of this story's major strong points, being a believable part of the whole MLP-FIM universe and yet very rich with your own ideas. The characterization is also very strong. Like most commentators I've grown very attached to Radish and after seeing him get metaphorically kicked around so much these last few chapters I'm hoping for some good to come his way soon.
All-in-all, excellent job on this story so far. I'll have to remember to check back here more often to follow the updates sooner. :)
I can't get this scene out of my head. A scene in which a remoseful Celestia begs Radish to stay, but he chooses to leave anyway. Sometimes you don't know how valuable something is until it's gone.
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I agree wholeheartedly. At this point, I just want to charge into the story and Gibbs-slap everyone into next week.
I think a cool ending would be Radish taking a Twilights side during the whole wedding Fiasco and Celestia firing him over it, him going back to being a ranger and getting involved in a new story and Celestia back in Canterlot realizing she was wrong when the wedding is over and wanting to apologize to Radish but no one being able to find him because he’s caught up in another story.
I want to ask a question based on clearly known facts.
Celestia banished her sister for a thousand years.
So Celestia single-handedly built a kingdom that eventually brought all wars to zero, and came to the end of the millennium in a peaceful era.
Celestia should at least be a diplomat, understanding the reconnaissance of figures and the manipulation of the aristocracy and other significant figures.
explain to me when she suddenly became dumb and stopped controlling the situation around her!?
I understand that ponies who grew up in peacetime, who did not sniff gunpowder, in one, two generations, will forget the horrors of war and fragmentation, but Celestia rules for at least a thousand years! How did she press F8?!
Why are she dumb!?
OK, the Sith of old were snickering, arrogant assholes, but the pony princess, what?
11253605
That sounds like a fun story. You should do it!
11253878
Actually the author has pretty much written how Celestia is in the canon. For some strange reason in the show the writers made her dumber… like I don’t recall if there was a reason why but I would have to guess that probably age is catching up?
Like she won’t go wrinkle like normal ponies would when they are getting older but her mind is getting old. Which I guess that could be a good reasoning of why Twilight alone takes control of Equestria is because Celestia age is catching up that she isn’t cable of ruling again.
11253964
You will hate me for this but ironically this celestia looks like the 46th president of the United States to me, and I am not even an American.
it's funny as hell
11253871
I dearly want to see Radish taking Twilight’s side.
And if canon is respected, that would make him the only one to stand by her.
Just imagine...
Radish comforting Twilight when
CadanceChrysalis walks in and banishes them both underground.The aftermath would be interesting.
As the mane six are a tightly knight group (wedding fiasco not withstanding) Radish’s loyalty to Twilight could be seen as loyalty to the group.
A possibility of more work escorting/guarding/protecting the mane six ?
A second arc whereby Radish moves to Ponyville ?
11253956
Hey, I’d read that story too !
11253964
...or thinking along those lines, maybe Celestia just got bored.
For a thousand years to plow like a horse, to control and think through everything ... she was tired of fucking work, anyone would be tired of fucking work.
and now, in peacetime, there are no threats (the main villains are ahead) and the princess relaxed enjoying the mini madness, periodically catching lulz.
(somewhere I read a story about how strong Celestia is, that she calls the whole world paper, and how she restrains herself so that she doesn’t accidentally burn everything to hell because the sun and moon are incomparable in terms of the power of temperature and gravity, etc. analogy to magic)
but Celestia is here in the story, still strange and incomprehensible, as if she had really been replaced by a beetle.
but I do not agree with the fading consciousness of the princess. yes, that sounds logical.
but then imagine that the insane alicorn, Celestia, who fell into insanity and rage, will have to be stopped by her sister and a spark in a few hundred years !? and this is clearly not included in the concept of canonical harmony.
unless of course this is a dark fanfic with drama and dismemberment...
11254133
No, that’s not funny. Both of them are not alike at all. The author isn’t writing Celestia to be like that awful dude since she would never do the things and say the things he has done.
11254333
I didn’t mean like she would go insane at all. More like she would be passing away since we don’t really know how long Alicorns live since so far in the new generation show all the FiM characters have passed away it seems.
11254430
Heretic! Alicorns are immortal!
Not aging, time has no power over them, which means they can only be physically eliminated.
And the psychological threshold of the immortal (breaking the consciousness of a mortal for 300 years, you have to search somewhere in Google) they have long gone through.
Well, okay, okay, in the canon I don’t remember such statements that I’m weaving here, but there are no rebuttals either.
So I will believe and love!
Princess Celestia is the best pony!
(｡♡‿♡｡)
Holy mother effing sh!t, Celestia! That 'talk' was so... unbelievably cruel- and selfish!
Like... I ached on Radish' behalf reading that scene (good Job Author!)
She knows how he felt, and she essentially taunted him. Like, from the moment he got there, it was made clear to him *VERY* clear to him that a romantic relationship with her was *off* the table. So for her to pull this stunt... it's just unnecessarily mean. Her motivation doesn't seem to be selfless, I mean if she's trying the whole "be cruel to be kind" B.S. there are other ways. Why *was* she talking to him about it in the first place? Why was he invited to that special evening with the Mane 6? If we pretend the author isn't involved in all of this, then Celestia's likely motivation is that she *is* having some thoughts about Radish. Why else put Halcyon and Radish around each other? She seems to be weighing and judging here. The 'sure thing', perhaps destiny even, vs the big strong mysterious stranger from afar. If we believe her words at face value, she claims to not even know how she would feel if Radish were to propose?? WTF? That level of conflict doesn't happen from someone you have no romantic interest in. So two options present themselves (assuming this *is* in fact Celestia and Celestia isn't being mind controlled/influenced): a) Celestia is a malicious giant dick, or b) Celestia *does* have romantic inclinations towards Radish and is so self-absorbed that though she's still a giant dick, she's not a malicious one.
Perhaps because I'm such a Luna fan, and you've written her so well here, I can't help but *root* to ship Radish with Luna (I'd call them Loot... Ladish and Runa are stupid). I mean... even if they don't last as a couple, I'd kinda like to see them date. There's something about Luna being competitive with her sister that makes that whole dynamic interesting to explore.
I await, in earnest, for the next chapter. I am hoping that either Radish pulls out a W against Halcyon, or that the match reveals/unmasks Halcyon for the asshole he is. Regardless, I want Halcyon to get his comeuppance.
11255283
You've pointed out a good point about that chapter with Celestia... I didn't think of that view of her since I was upset with things going on with Radish and stuff. Yea, I could see that she is weighing her options on if she wants to choose between a Cutie Mark or Random Tarzan from Fall Out land which she does seem like she doesn't know how to view Radish or feel for him. Like she and as well the Guards, Nobels or anypony has been keeping Radish away or pushing him insane.
At least Shining Armor isn't dumb about Halcyon at all. That was a surprise, and I won't have really thought of him being a better friend to Radish. The M6 leaving without having not done much for Halcyon people should be a red flag to Celestia but then she might not even know that Luna is sick...
Really Celestia has always been working hard alone for a thousand years keeping the kingdom at peace but in result has caused issues from her being closed in all the time. In a way the kingdom has not allowed her to really set back and live like a pony.
11255311
It would be interesting to understand what the hell is actually going through Celestia's mind here. I mean, assuming that this *is* Celestia and/or she isn't being mentally manipulated. Has she been struggling with this Cutie Mark for Radish' whole life? That would be an interesting idea for the author to explore. The idea that as much as Radish has been wondering about his own destiny and the meaning of his life/ cutie mark, that perhaps his cutie mark has created as much (or at least a serious) crisis for Celestia. Has she been running from that Cutie mark since Radish developed it? Does it challenge her autonomy? Does she worry what it means to try to circumvent it? Or has she really *never* considered that his mark is literal rather than figurative? Perhaps her uncertainty in the scene painted in this chapter is not her wrestling with her feelings for Radish, but perhaps an expression of her actually considering that perhaps his Cutie Mark is literal (like that she'll be compulsively drawn towards him as a Stallion, because... destiny). She's testing that idea, after all... if his destiny is truly to be with her, then *something* should happen to prevent another suitor from being successful, right?
My only concern for this line of characterization, if true, is that Celestia's ethics with how she's testing destiny are... questionable. She's treating Radish less like a sentient sapient being, and more like a lab rat here. It's that disregard that really comes off cold "I'm sorry... that was unprofessional... report me for misconduct" is HARDLY recognizing the magnitude of hurt she just put him through. Unprofessional? I mean, sure, it was, but so would be chumming around with him and calling him Radical. Apologizing for being unprofessional doesn't even begin to acknowledge that harm done here, which is what makes Celestia seem so beyond obtuse here. A true, and meaningful, apology has to include some recognition of the impact of the actions of those in the wrong, maybe (if possible) with an inclusion as to some sort of meaningful rationale and/or promise to attempt to attone. Like if she explained why she just did that, beyond "curiosity", something like, "I've been struggling with this for a while, and I can't shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, there's something literal about your cutie mark, but I haven't dared tell you that for fear of unfairly raising your hopes. I'm sorry that I tested this idea without your permission, I want to see if I *could* reject an advance you made in earnest with me. I couldn't actually test it if you knew I *wanted* to say, "no" because then that might affect your earnestness in asking. I realize how unfair and how hurtful that must have been, but Radish- it was my way of actually giving the idea that your mark was literal a try...[more explanation of her point of view, her struggle with autonomy, what this whole thing means to her, what being able to date/be romantic means to her]... I don't enjoy playing with your emotions, Radish, nor do I take it lightly. Because of how I feel, I had to *know* if a relationship with Halcyon was doomed from inception because of destiny. Still, I need to attone. [Suggest some action for atonement... a gift, a service, a kindness, it'd be interesting to see what she'd offer up]. See, having something happen along those lines would allow us to view Celestia as not a complete dick (she would become... understandable... maybe even relatable to the reader). Without that acknowledgement she just comes off....*yikes*. Now that said, treating Radish like garbage here *does* give the reader an authentic understanding/rationale for him shaving off Celestia as a way of essentially giving her and his cutie mark/destiny the finger.
Could he have shaved his cutie mark after that if the scenario went more like how I painted it in the paragraph above? I suppose, but I don't think it would have had the same cathartic release that it did have here. Maybe we'll get a clearer understanding into Celestia's point of view later on, allowing us to sympathize with Radish' feelings of betrayal in the meantime, and repairing the relationship with Celestia in an authentic way later on.
11255283
If it is confirmed that Celestia has developed thoughts or feelings towards Radish, I hope he rejects her. She has proven herself over the last few chapters to be an unsuitable partner.
I also ship Radish with Luna. I like to entertain the idea that during a private conversation, Luna slips to Celestia about how wonderful Radish is in the bedroom. This, in turn, leads to Radish fulfilling his cutie mark.
11255337
Personally, I don’t see how this relationship can be repaired. If Halcyon is a test created by Celestia, then she insulted Radish’s character. If Halcyon is not a test by Celestia, then she was inconsiderate towards Radish through the entire ordeal.
Being in Radish position I would went straight to Shinning Armor and quit that job. No reason to waste time there. And why he didn't painted somethig else on top of his cutie-marks? He has enough talents to replaces them with better ones.
<div><br class="Apple-interchange-newline">what goes on in radish beetroot's mind</div> anon represents him of course