67. The Currency of the Plains, Part 1: Interloper
“ROOT!”
Radish had heard his name shouted out on a routine basis since he joined the Guard, but he didn’t recognize the voice this time. He looked skyward to see a pegasus in the olive uniform of the Royal Pigeon Post. He didn’t seem happy.
“Yes?”
“A letter showed up for you today in the pigeon tower.”
“Oh, thanks.”
“It showed up on this.”
The postpony pulled his foreleg out from behind his back. A Prairie Falcon was clamped onto it. Its feathers were painted in tribal markings. Its talons dug into his flesh.
“Whoa, Windwright? Is that you?” asked Radish. It nodded.
“This falcon flushed every last pigeon from the tower. We’re still calming them down. The next time somepony wants to send you a letter, tell them raptors are banned from our facilities!”
“Sorry. I’ll take her.”
“And release her outside of palace grounds.”
“Did you feed her?”
“And what would you have us feed her? Pigeons?”
“Never mind.”
Radish held out a hoof, and the falcon leapt to his head and clamped on it. He winced.
“Not so fun, is it?”
Radish took Windwright to his bunk. She kept stuck to his head while he opened the letter from the pouch strapped to her chest. He thought he was having vision problems, but then realized the letter was written in the Black Bluff language. Sky had something to tell him, she needed to get it to him fast, and she didn’t want anyone else reading it. Radish struggled to translate some of the nouns, until he realized she was writing a few of them phonetically for his benefit.
Dear Radish,
Hi. I’m glad you’ve found someone. She sounds nice. I hope she deserves you.
But I’m writing for something serious. There’s a problem at the Storm Centurion dig site. During the night of the 7th, our crates of artifacts were broken open and rifled through. Nothing was stolen, but it’s a mess. Every skeleton was disturbed, and our file boxes were turned over and searched. Dirt was thrown aside haphazardly, as if someone was trying to dig for themselves.
Radish, it was a pony. A unicorn. Focus Beam (that’s the new Ranger) found magic aura residue everywhere. This wasn’t a common thief. They were looking for something specific. We don’t know what.
There’s more. Sometimes at dusk we see silhouettes on the hilltops. Every time we approach, they run off, leaving no trace. Focus Beam keeps cans on tripwires around her camp, and a couple of nights ago, they were tripped. She didn’t see who was there. Someone is casing us.
We’re pausing and guarding the dig, and now we’ve got nightly patrols going. Focus Beam is searching the countryside like mad.
Remember what I said about ponies getting upset at the history we’re uncovering here? I figured that wouldn’t be a problem until after we’ve published, not during the dig.
Radish, did you tell anypony? I know I never said not to, and I don’t blame you if you did- I shouldn’t have voiced our suspicions prematurely, and I’m sure it felt great to throw the Wagoners’ dark history in Worthy’s dumb face. But the tribe is scared, Focus Beam is scared, and Hoopla is scared.
Radish, if the Wagoners are messing with the dig, nopony’s in a better position to investigate than you. You practically live in the same neighborhood, right?
I know you’ve taken a lot of oaths in your time, and I know your latest is to Miss Skinny, but I hope the oath you made to me under the Water-bearer still means something.
Chief Shortshadow is watching me write this. He wants me to add that thing he always says.
“Respect is the currency of the plains.” Sometimes it’s the only thing a buffalo, or a pony, has to trade on. I know mine for you isn’t misplaced. Please get to the bottom of this.
Love,
Skies Above
Radish looked up at Windwright.
“I’m sorry. I let something slip out, but wasn’t anything that could have caused trouble. Worthy Wagoner must have had suspicions before that. I guess I just… confirmed them.”
Windwright cocked her head.
“I would never do anything to hurt the tribe. Or the Rangers. Or a dig site. Or Sky!”
She fluttered her wings.
“I’ll make it right. I swear.”
She tapped her pouch with her beak.
“Yeah, I’ll write to her now.”
She blinked her nictitating membranes and stretched out her talons.
“Then we’ll find you something to eat.”
She relaxed and hopped on his shoulder.
“Then all I have to do is investigate the wealthiest pony in town over something I can’t prove and don’t understand.”
She nuzzled his neck.
“Thanks, Windwright. Was Sky really mad?”
Windwright made a “so-so” gesture with her wing.
The Wagoner family was old money, old magic, old military, and old every other form of establishment in Equestria. Willow Wagoner had been but one small twig of a sprawling tree which had branches all over Equestria and roots deep into the Tribal Era of all three pony tribes. So many of Uptown’s buildings had the Wagoner name on them, that trying to talk about a specific one usually led to confusion. They dug (or, had their workers dig) the waterfall reservoirs into the mountain Canterlot was built upon.
It was always more of a declaration than an act of goodwill, thought Radish. They’re letting the city know who really keeps it alive.
Okay, what do I know? The tribe suspects Willow ambushed and killed her own unit six hundred years ago. The Wagoners must want that to stay buried. Did they know this whole time? Why did she do that in the first place?
How far would they go to cover it up? Hurt the buffalo? Ruin a dig? They didn’t destroy evidence, just tossed it. What were they looking for?
I can’t just walk up to Worthy and confront him. Okay, I need evidence. But any evidence would be locked up in his mansion, which is so deep Uptown that the trash cans are diamond-studded.
I need allies here. The girls? Twilight has incredible magic ability. Rarity has high society connections. Fluttershy can read lips. Pinkie Pie… does those things she’s always doing. Maybe this is in their wheelhouse?
No. Their job is to stop monsters and supervillains. If I involve them in this, they could really get hurt.
Could I ask some of the guards here for help? No, I can’t let them get hurt, either.
The princesses? Yeah, right.
Folks like Worthy always have enemies. Another family in a rivalry with them? Could I exploit that?
Radish looked down at Sky’s letter again. It was starting to get blurry.
What I need is someone who’s good at snooping. Someone fearless. Tenacious. And preferably someone who owes me a favor.
The palace’s press office was abuzz with activity. Radish stepped inside, dodging clerks pushing carts full of files. He found Gazeta at her desk in the bullpen, typing with one hoof and sipping coffee with the other.
“Oh, hey, it’s the heavyweight champion himself,” she said.
“Hi, Gaz. I need some information.”
“I’m busy. Ever since your little cage match, the press corps has had our hooves full- issuing statement after statement, fielding question after question. I’ve typed ‘no comment’ so many times, it doesn’t look like a real phrase anymore. Basically, you choke-slammed our schedule and put my free time in a full nelson.”
“Well, overtime pay is nice, right?”
“Just tell me what you want.”
“Everything you have on the Wagoner family.”
“No comment.”
“I think they’re up to something shady. I need your help to bust this case wide open.”
“We’re already on thin ice with that family. The last thing you should do on thin ice is poke at a hornets’ nest.”
“Hornets’ nests actually aren’t dangerous in the winter.”
“What a great factoid. You should’ve been a reporter, too.”
“What happened to that intrepid newshound who would stalk back alleys just for a chance at a scoop?”
“Don’t play that card with me. I’ve paid my dues. And now I’m paying condo fees.”
“How about paying me back for getting you this job?”
“I am doing you a favor. The Wagoners make the Warmbloods look like kittens. They’ve got ponies everywhere. You don’t want to go and make yourself their target.”
Radish put a hoof to his chin. “Make myself their target, you say?”
Radish visited the Canterlot public library. He asked the librarian for all she had on the Wagoners.
“Oh! I love talking about them! They’ve done so much for the town. The special collections room is named after them.”
“Do they come in here often?”
“Oh, never. If they want a book, they don’t borrow, they buy it. I bet their personal library dwarfs this one.”
“What if they need a super-rare book that only this place has?”
“They’d buy that too,” she said with a wink.
Radish took the latest society magazines and read over them as publicly as he could. He dug through the family’s history in the room named after them.
Teasing out details of the relationships of Canterlot’s high society families seemed daunting, until Radish realized he should be looking for what wasn’t being recorded. The most important movers and shakers tended to surround themselves with a set stable of associates, with little crossover between social circles. Radish realized that an entourage was basically a street gang from nicer streets.
For important public events where one must absolutely be seen, all these circles were begrudgingly brought together. Photos of these events showed the groups they arrived and left with. More disreputable shutterbugs caught candid scenes from parties at winter homes and beach houses. Patterns emerged. There really were rivalries.
Rarity has long claimed that her friend and client Fancy Pants (who was apparently at Twilight’s birthday party, not that Radish would recognize him) was the most important pony in town. Radish realized that by voicing this opinion, she had taken a side.
Fancy Pants was the hub of a coterie of important ponies, none of which seemed to interact with Worthy Wagoner’s own coterie. And while the Wagoners made their empire out of utilities and necessities- shipping, logistics, construction- the Pantses focused on luxuries- personal zeppelins, designer clothes, cosmetics, and interior design. If Radish didn’t know better, he’d assume the Wagoners were a better sort of pony than the Pantses.
Are they? Am I investigating an innocent family? Is anyone in Canterlot involved with what’s going on at the dig at all?
He took down a binder’s worth of notes, then left the library, thanking the librarian and telling her he had found all he needed.
Okay, that’s step one.
He visited the city’s largest newspaper office next. He asked to see the editor of the high society section, and was turned away. He made sure to leave his name anyway.
Step two, maybe?
He went to the museum where Willow Wagoner’s bones were still on display. The museum had added a matte backdrop, depicting dragons fleeing before her. Neither Radish’s name nor any mention of the Black Bluffs were anywhere on the display. A docent approached him.
“Admiring Willow? She was amazing.”
“Tell me, how did she get put in charge of the Centurions?”
“It’s an incredible story. A dark wizard was training dragons to attack Canterlot. She created a nor’easter and blasted them off the continent.”
“Wow. Sounds like she didn’t even need a team at all.”
“Oh, she was going to train the rest of the Storm Centurions to be just as great as her.”
“Then what happened? Why did they all die in a cave?”
“An army of bandits had enslaved a local bison tribe and forced them to dig up an ancient monster that was imprisoned under a mountain. The Centurions collapsed the cave, destroying the monster but sacrificing themselves.”
“Oh?”
“The bison revered the Centurions so much, they kept it a secret for six hundred years. They’re a superstitious people, you see.”
“I see. I didn’t know any of that. Are the rest of the Centurions going to be displayed here?”
“Yes, but work at the dig site is slow. There’s a dragon nearby. The Plains Rangers believe it’s paying respects to Willow, too.”
“That’s interesting. The Wagoners must have been so happy to find her again.”
“Oh, you bet. They brought her here packed in silk cushions. I can’t wait for the full team to be reunited here.”
“Do the rest of the Centurions have any living relatives?”
“No, we’ve looked diligently for any descendants. The Centurions only live on in the Wagoners.”
“Thank you. I can’t wait for everyone to hear their story.”
Radish left the museum. He visited the neighboring park and sat on a bench. He could see Uptown’s mansion row from his seat. The Wagoner estate, however, was too fancy to be part of any row- it was further back out of sight.
I’ve made my intentions known. Let’s see how they respond.
Radish lay in his bunk reading an old newspaper’s society page. It had photos of a wedding conducted on the Wagoner estate. Radish tried to fit the images into the mental map he was making of the estate grounds.
There was a burst of light to his side. He squinted and looked. It wasn’t a dragon fire scroll. A glowing message in jagged red capital letters hung in the air.
DROP IT, BOY.
It dissipated into nothing. Radish looked around, but no one else had been there to see it.
Okay, that’s how they respond.
Then, something else appeared in the air. It was an image of a prism splitting light. It was Light Fantastic’s cutie mark. It vanished as well.
It was a threat.
Oh, shit.
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Oh, shit, indeed.
Radish has stepped into something he probably should of stayed out of.
The problem with picking a fight with a rich, high-society family is that they have money, influence, and connections...in other words, ways of making someone's life difficult that don't rely on breaking the law.
Which is to say, Radish will hopefully realize that the threat that's being made against Light isn't that she'll vanish on the way home after work and never be seen again, but that her rent will suddenly triple, she'll have a dozen complaints be made about her job performance, and no one in the neighborhood will want her to patronize their businesses anymore (likely because they've been told that their own businesses will see opportunities dry up if they do).
Or at least, that's what I think should happen when you tick off a wealthy group like the Wagoners are being made out to be. All too often in stories, groups like that resort to illegal measures, which end up being the very thing that brings them down, and it always makes me shake my head. When you have that much social power, committing crimes is something you don't need to do, for exactly that reason. There are plenty of ways to control other people without exposing yourself to criminal charges.
Welp, I will be surprised if Light Fantastic doesn’t wind up dead at the end of this arc; essentially fulfilling her words to Celestia that she can have Radish after she passes.
You should inform Celestia about your investigation and all that transpired, not leaving any detail. And you should start with "I've got threatened with harm to Light" or something like that. If you will share your troubles maybe it will push Celestia to share some of hers? You also maybe should ask her more information about those centurions since she so generously shared something to public already.
11431286
How about connections with shady organisations that would likvidate undesirable targets of their beneficator and not leaving a trace and/or would buy crumbling of investigation?
11431287
Though I don't like their pairing and Light herself, I don't wish her or her shop harm.
They don't know ow Radish very well if they think that will work.
11431288
Problem is the fact that this all is caused by Celestia in the first place. See how she decided to run her mouth during the fight and shovel manure on the honor of an ancient line? Of course they will have to respond.
11431287
11431287
I honestly hope not. That's such a cop out and would completely waste her as a character and just be more pointless Radish abuse from the story. I just hope that this doesn't mean we've entered the phase where, just like post-Halycon, the story pretends the last three chapters didn't happen and Radish will continue to be a punching bag for Celestia and Shining (who will be portrayed positively, for some reason)
I'm cautiously optimistic after Shining faced actual consequences for once in the last chapter. I hope that meant it will be different this time, (maybe Radish will get an actual apology from him for once?) but we'll see. This is a fantastic story and I love how stressed this is making me. It really is FiMfiction's soap opera!
11431298
And? It doesn't mean that she will not aid him with at least some valuable information.
11431302
Pointing out the follies of your Monarch and the ripple effects of her tantrums are not likely to "push them to share their troubles." It would be another smack on her face for her to see what happens when she decides to air her troubles and thinking.
It would get a response for certain, and likely help, but it would widen the divide between them.
11431304
Or she will see this as opportunity to fix her folly instead.
"I’m am doing you a favor." ->
"I am doing you a favor. "
Good stuff :)
11431321
Thanks
Oh, Radish. Sometimes you’re far too clueless for your own good.
Easy solution: talk to Celestia, memory recall spell, and let her be the 5D chess master.
11431312
Even if she retracts her declarations, the damage is irreversible. The general public will now forever doubt any positive claims about the Centurions thanks to her.
11431286
This isn't a normal high society family from the looks of it, though. It's one thing to spread misinformation and use money to make themselves look better, and another to hire teams to mess with the dig site, slow it down, all while said interlopers likely looks around digging for a very specific thing the Wagoners don't want to be found or want to find first. The fact that the dig isn't being completely destroyed means that the interlopers are keeping things just in tact enough in case they were wrong and need to research things they've already tossed aside, and that--to me--means this is not about hiding some flaw in the Wagoners past but about hiding and collecting something that is too precious to risk destroying. They are not just looking to protect their rep here, which is what big money would be in it for. Yes, they can ruin Light financially with money, and they have the resources to do so, but the Wagoners have been set up since the beginning of the story to potentially be some sort of large, sketchy and questionably legal family. If Willow did turn on her squad, then its possible the bandits she was sent to kill were controlled by the Wagoners and that the Wagoners are esentially Equestria's oldest source of organized crime. The framework for shadey kneecapping is just as much there, and it may well be in the blood. They likely aren't afraid to get their hooves dirty physically if they think normal money solutions won't work on Radish.
What does “casing” mean?
Oh very interesting story plot of a family who probably basically built Equestria to be bad and the high risk of facing them is a lot of consequences that can happen… even after defeating them.
This plot almost reminds me of that Granny origin story I really liked and never got finished I think since there was only needed one more chapter
but it reminds me of that story.
11431394
“Casing” is scouting out a place that you are going to rob.
11431418
Thanks!
11431286
I definitely agree. There are many ways they can ruin someone’s life without being illegal
11431394
https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/casing+the+joint
case the joint
1. slang To observe a place in order to familiarize oneself with its workings in preparation for some criminal activity (often robbery). Judging from the security footage, those men cased the joint hours before robbing it.
2. slang By extension, to thoroughly examine a place. In this usage, no devious motive is implied. As soon as my kids walking into the hotel room, they started casing the joint, exclaiming about everything from the TV to the mini-fridge.
11431427
That makes sense. Thank you
11431286
Radish has a pretty big ace in the hole the Wagoners can't account for, though. That'd be Princess Luna. Able to detect bad dreams and minds ill at ease as ponies rest, it'd be so easy for him to inform her about what's going on, and so easy for her to peer into the minds of the Wagoner family to find out what's up.
Will that happen? No way of knowing. But the option is there and there's not a damn thing they can do about it. What're they going to do, demand Celestia banish her to the moon again? Attempt to poison her?
i am thinking Radish needs to send a message to his brothers that are staying at the home farm..
I swear if Light Fantastic gets hurt or forced to break up with Root—or killed, please don't—I'll curse the Wagoners.
Radish has two options.
1) Give in to fear and bullying by the Wagoner family.
2) Let them know that threatening the Champion of Luna was a mistake.
Right now, the Wagoners know nothing of Radish.
They think they can intimidate him like anypony.
I never really watched Breaking Bad, but there was this scene where the main character was threatened (his buddy was beat up or something) by another mob and he paid them a visit demanding compensation.
They laughed at him.
Then he went ballistic by blowing up half the building they were all currently talking in.
That’s how they knew that threatening this guy wouldn’t work. He refused to be intimidated and turned the tables.
Not saying that Root goes demolition on the Wagoner estate, but he needs to come out strong or slink away.
One does not simply threaten the Champion of Luna.
I wonder what the item the family is looking for… like it has to be a big deal that could changed Equestria history forever.
Good chapter, time to make even more enemies
11431956
It could be another part of that fancy magic stamp.
11432038
This story arc is probably going to resemble "Captain America: The Winter Soldier" before all is said and done.
And that’s why you go to the Princess of snooping into baddies nights…-__-
Probably be a good idea to send the bats to the buffalo to snoop out the interlopers.
11432043
Bro that’s one of the best Marvel films ever. Definitely would love that take with Radish
11432043
I totally just had a theory… if this arc is like the film I could see the Royal Guard actually being corrupted by the Wagoners for a very long time… to the point on who to trust? Like you never know if the friends you have in the guard might backstab
Also, it might explain why we didn’t see guards in the MLP movie when thinking about it
Poking at a hornet's nets while standing on thin ice AND yelling LOOK AT ME! If Fanny saw this she'd kick his ass. Not exactly what you'd call ideal spycraft. What is he using as his reference book on how to be a detective... Prancy Drew or the Hearty Boys?
11431286
Great insight.
I was locked into "its a death threat" interpretation.
Luckilly LF has made it plainly known she's anti-authority, and besides the crown itself, nothing says "ATHORITY" like old money.
I have a feeling the story will highlight a surprisingly strong partership between LF and Root.
11431820
I know who you're talking about but I think Root gives out Mike Ehrmantraut vibes instead.
Needs to get Light to a safe house asap.
Hi! I'm a new reader stopping here for the night after a single binge!
(PROTIP: don't do this, my eyeballs are untethered to this mortal realm.)
Yeah, they just dissed your fly girl, old top. Kick their asses.
11805704
Lol. Lmao