//------------------------------// // Chapter 56 - Flawed Emerald // Story: The Stereotypical Necromancer // by JinxTJL //------------------------------// Light Flow had never really been the kind of pony to get nervous at the prospect of speaking his mind. ...Okay, that wasn't true, but it had been when he was a colt. He'd once been so mind-numbingly oblivious to the subtle nuances of social conduct that he'd never think twice in blurting out the first thing on his mind. Insults, snide comments, and even confessions had always been a matter of think, then speak. A blissful ignorance gone the way of his youth, and many, many repercussions. That'd been Light as a colt. As he'd grown older, however... Just as soon as he'd waved Bon Bon goodbye with a classic raspberry salute, he'd turned to stride with complete and utter confidence towards his milling friend group. Striding with confidence strictly being anything more dignified than crawling there in shame and fear, obviously. It was a low bar Light strove to hit, and that was how he saved himself from disappointment. Though, there was a larger than average chance of the coming meeting resulting in disappointment and or misery. As such, there was still a very wide chance to turn around, he felt he had to remind himself as his friends' blurry profiles came into focus. Eagle-eyed Rainbow Dash would've been the most likely to spot him, and since she was seemingly napping against the tree, there was still ample time to turn around and save it all for another day. Applejack and Fluttershy were still blessedly turned away from him, came the stern word from his inner coward as he came within shouting range. He could even begin to pick out the largely purple shade on their souls, which spoke all the more to his desire to run away. A purple tinge usually meant something like exasperation, which was not a pleasant emotion for dredging uncomfortable topics. He didn't have to do this right now, did he?. He could go take a bath, instead. They'd allow him such a pitifully meagre avoidance, wouldn't they? A measly half hour? Though, baths could take upwards of an hour, but that wasn't very far out of the ordinary. Who could say whether it was abnormal for a bath to take two hours? Or three? Four, even. Was there some law against long baths nowadays? Would they call the cleanliness police on him or something? His conscience was screaming at him now, and it was becoming increasingly hard to keep ignoring it. Pinkie Pie was jumping around and around the tree in circuitous circles, and though her eyes were closed in ignorant jollity, she could open them at any time and see that he was within greeting distance. He could hardly focus anymore- he just had to keep going. The sight of Pinkie Pie wasn't helping very much now that he'd regained the ability to see souls, and he could so sporadically see that garish pink. The... anathema of it. The resounding headache it inspired in him. But if he couldn't focus on her soul, then he had to track up to the second most immediate issue, and focus on her necklace. And then, he was focusing on the fact that they all had them, and that was terrible. It was difficult to make out the golden clasp shyly peeking around his best friend's ponytail, but Pinkie Pie's and the big blue balloon shaped gem fused into it were very visible. All it did was get worse and worse. He was close enough to say something, but not close enough to whisper- which meant there was still time. He could still back out and just save it for another time. He hadn't committed, yet. Nopony knew he was there. Until the moment one of them saw him, each step forward could be his last, and he could still turn around and hoof it- An excited, bubbly gasp. "Light!" As always, Pinkie Pie was the harbinger of his destruction. Through the many times she'd made the same, pronking circle around the tree, she'd finally made a pass with her eyes open. Catching him in a baby-blue glance in the middle of the air, and letting everypony know about it before she'd even hit the ground. Yay. If her shout was an impact, then the motion of the three other ponies there was like a wave. Rainbow Dash's head perked up from where it had really looked like she'd been sleeping, while the yellow and orange shoulder profiles of the other two stiffened in backwards succession. A lot of things happened in the next moment, which was why he didn't like groups. Too difficult to properly internalize each individual action, and not nearly enough time to plan insults and deflections. He caught Rainbow's magenta eyes as she sat up- then his attention was caught by the way Fluttershy shrank into herself- then he noticed Pinkie Pie begin to bounce towards him as his heart leaped into his throat- and then his eye was immediately drawn to the fact that Applejack was turning around Tartarus cast him below what did he do now?! Light was not the master of time, however much he wished otherwise, and as everything else did, it served only to make a fool of him. He and Applejack locked eyes, and Light's heart seemed to explode into a particulate mist of adrenaline as seventy percent of Fluttershy disappeared behind her turning back. Pinkie Pie bounced yet closer: her coming collision with him seeming all but inevitable. His hoof froze in the air from where he'd been so close to making a backpedal, his brain finally completely shut down from trying to process his futile escape plans, and he was left with his jaw hanging dumbly open like a dullard. Yet... somehow, even with Applejack finally taking notice of him and Pinkie Pie on the precipice of a painfully physical act, neither of them were actually able to make the first move. That honor belonged to Rainbow Dash. Somehow, some way, in the span of the sparse seconds it had been since Pinkie Pie had alerted her, Dash managed to make it to him first. He hadn't even seen her take flight, and by the time her hoof slipped around his shoulder, he was only just starting to recognize that she'd moved at all. It felt like less than an instant from the moment she was against the tree to the moment she was hovering in the air, holding him by the shoulder into her chest. "Hey, Light! I heard you scored!" she cheered into his face as he blinked into the sudden gust of wind blowing past him- but what had she said? He'd scored?! When? And how had it happened without his knowing?! "Wha-" His confused, knee-jerk reaction and subsequent discomfort from very suddenly being groped was immediately cut as another voice raised in objection. Sounding as completely aggravated as he felt, but much better articulated. "Rainbow Dash! Git' 'yer hooves offa him!" He and Rainbow both turned to the irate mare with the country accent, and though he was absolutely starstruck to see her, Rainbow's defensive expression came through in her scoff. In fact, as though it were a point to defy Applejack, Rainbow only held him closer as she set herself to the ground. He felt the brush of metal as their cheeks briefly kissed, and he glanced down to the shining red jewel shaped like a thunderbolt at the bottom of her ornate necklace. He was most upset about Twilight, but the fact that Rainbow Dash of all ponies was some kind of destined hero just made him wish he could gnaw his own tongue off in frustration. At least so he'd choke and die and not have to think about it. "What? That's what you said, wasn't it?" she protested, though not very genuinely. Light felt a lot like a ragdoll as the ego-obsessed pegasus jerked his head down, while her other hoof- ouch! "You found him on the floor with a mare, the dirty diamond dog!" she crowed gleefully, as she very disrespectfully gave him an undeserved noogie. Rainbow Dash was not averse to getting hooves-on with other ponies, as he'd long since known. For the sake of embarrassing or humiliating them in some way, Dash could and would get extremely chummy. Or that was just how she showed affection. Either way, he didn't like it. Light cut her inappropriate gesture off as he pushed her hooves up and away: staggering forward as her grip suddenly loosened and he was left on his own. He wasn't even close to strong enough to have actually shoved her off, so the only explanation was that she'd just let him go. A theory that was compounded almost instantly as he turned to see her curled back in the air, hovering in place and covering a necklace-accented snicker with a hoof. Oh, he'd never be able to not focus on the stupid necklaces... He huffed in irritation as he glared the sky-blue pest down. "That's not what happened!" he snapped, then took a moment to blink in confusion as his voice seemed to gain an inexplicably country echo. He cast a glance sideways to the orange mare conspicuously hiding a cowering yellow pegasus behind her, who had... seemingly voiced her similar opinion exactly as he had. Brown eyes met green, and two surprised gazes immediately found places in the grass. As Rainbow Dash's mischievous snicker grew into a full-pelt guffaw and there was the audible sound of a laughing pegasus falling to Equus. Yeah yeah- yuk it up! Jerk pegasus with no respect for anypony or anything... He'd teach her to mess with him... someday... Though he grumbled a fair bit to himself as Rainbow went on and on, it was seeming like a relatively good time to broach conversation with Applejack. The longer they spent together, even not speaking as they were, the harder it became to stand the silence between them. Well... the grass was a decent enough analogue for her emerald eyes, if lacking beautiful flaws, so maybe he could use it as a pretend proxy? He could just give his apology a little practice in his own head, first. He could say that he was sorry for everything he'd hidden from her, and for lying to her, and for leaving her all alone at the party, and for inadvertently posing a threat to her life, and for... ...even the grass looked like it was judging him. Luckily- or most unluckily, he'd prefer- he wouldn't have to own up to his grass-surpassed friend just yet. After only a few moments of staring glumly at the ground, he was roughly taken by the cheeks and forced to stare into two endlessly excited pools of baby blue- as if she'd somehow known he was becoming melancholy. In the moment Pinkie Pie took to take a deep breath, Light sent a silent prayer to the heavens for his ears. "Light! Light! You'll never guess what happened last night!" she cheered- yes, cheered- then as he tried to get an unintelligible response in through his smushed cheeks, she went on chattering anyway. "Princess Celestia has a Sister! She showed up at the sun-raising ceremony and She was all evil and mean but now She's all good and sad because me and Twilight and Applejack and Rarity and Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash all went into the Everfree and-" She stopped short to take a huge breath, then, unsurprisingly, continued without skipping a beat. "-I sang a song and Twilight almost fell off a cliff and Rarity seduced a river monster and Fluttershy protected an unconscious Manticore from a Timberwolf and there was a broken bridge leading to an ancient castle where we found these cool necklaces and then Nightmare Moon appeared and we all discovered the true meaning of friendship and shot a bunch of magical lasers at Her in all colors of the rainbow!" As her tirade went longer and longer it peaked higher and higher until finally- finally, she stopped. Spending the following total silence staring expectantly down at his glazed expression, which he only belatedly realized was his long-awaited cue to speak. He returned to gradual consciousness- he was fairly sure- and it was suddenly apparent that his legs had gone slack sometime in the interim. That might've been why his neck hurt. He never quite got the hang of fording the nattering deluge named Pinkie Pie. At times, he was sure the next time he'd see her would finally be his last. He'd sink under the crashing waves of her massive dialogue and just never resurface. Slowly, carefully, he picked his hooves up and tried to level his head, pink hooves and all, with the grinning Pie. "Thas- thas grate Pinghie-" he managed to slur out through his mushed face, while casting a surreptitious glance sideways to the... equally surreptitious shadow sneaking across the ground towards them. The situation was either about to rectify itself, or get much worse. As far as he knew, smiles had set limits to how far they could stretch a pony's face, but Pinkie Pie tested that limit every day. Luckily for his perception of reality, he only had to endure the expression a second more before she was yanked backwards, leaving him stumbling forwards after her as her hooves flew away. Literally, flew away as her entire body was lifted. For the barest second, Pinkie Pie actually almost looked surprised as Rainbow Dash hefted her into the air by her middle: her seconds-prior aggressing hooves dangling limply below her. Rainbow, his unlikely savior, flashed him a small smirk: turning her expression down to Pinkie Pie after a second, who similarly looked up at her curiously. "Cool it, Pinkie. You know Light's not strong enough to protect himself." She flicked a glance to him for a moment, then snickered. "If you hold him that hard, he'll probably pop like an angry balloon!" Hey! He resented that remark! ...He didn't say, as Pinkie Pie began to- what else- laugh. Her hooves rose to grip at Rainbow's around her barrel, and she fluidly slid down out of her grasp. The brash pegasus blew out a surprised heave as Pinkie caught herself on Dash's hooves and swung forward: kicking her hooves in tandem with her swing as she let out a Pinkie-typical whee! "Sorry, Light! I just got really excited to see you!" the ever-oblivious pink menace giggled, though for whatever reason, he didn't feel very comforted. Maybe he was just weird like that, expecting ponies to look sorry when they said they were sorry. Though the beat of her wings had sped up considerably and she seemed to be half-struggling to keep the self-involved earth pony aloft, Rainbow was at least nonplussed enough to swivel her head around to yell over her shoulder. "Alright, Applejack, he's finally here, so me and Pinkie are going back to town to celebrate!" All attention- besides Pinkie's- was turned to the very plussed farmer, who, from the moment Pinkie Pie had begun chattering, had taken to waiting patiently for her to stop. Or for civilization to crumble. Whichever came first. In any case, his best friend nodded towards the odd duo and silently tipped her hat up, which Rainbow must have taken as a dismissal. She began to glide forward with Pinkie still swinging on her hooves, evidently finding great fun in doing so. As she passed by him, though, she slowed. In a flash, their eyes met. Her gaze... narrowed. An unmistakably warning look. Like a shocking jolt of electricity, Light felt a strange shiver run down his spine. The glance was oddly foreboding in a sense he'd never thought possible from a do-nothing like Rainbow Dash, who never seemed occupied with... any sort of issue. Not happy-go-lucky like Pinkie Pie, but just so mundanely concerned with nonconcerns in her every aspect of life. It almost felt like she was... angry with him for something? But what for? What had he done to her besides provide an easy target for ribbing? As much as he'd really like to dive into every interaction he'd ever had with the athlete, the glare only lasted a quick second, and then Rainbow turned over her shoulder again. "Hey, Fluttershy, you coming? The Wonderbolts' performance is gonna start soon, and we're gonna miss it if we don't hurry!" she called back to the cowering yellow pegasus. Not called out to her friend was the mutter under her breath that he only barely caught. "If we haven't already." Well, she hadn't needed to wait for him, so she only had herself to blame. He was only upset he couldn't hold her up any longer. If she wanted to see the Wonderbolts, then she could work harder at joining them. Or, at all. ...He didn't know why he championed Dash's work ethic like he did. The referred-to pegasus gradually peeked out from around her protective pony shield at Rainbow's call- was Applejack just cool with hiding her or what?- though her gaze hadn't been on the prankster. She'd been looking at him. And just as soon as he noticed, she immediately averted her eyes behind her curtain of hair. Two odd glances from two very different pegasi, who evidently knew each other beyond whatever bond they'd formed to save the world last night. Was he missing something? He could understand why Fluttershy was looking at him; he'd apparently had some kind of huge impact on her with a... speech that he'd long since forgotten. Seriously, what had he done to earn Dash's ire? The two of them shared very little of their lives over the years, much less any notable time together. They weren't far off from strangers, discounting how often she bothered him and how much he thought about smothering her in her sleep. Had something happened yesterday that he didn't know about? Or, didn't remember? That was disconcerting. He hoped he hadn't been taking his full mental competency for granted. On the tail end of a long, drawn out second of staring at the ground, Fluttershy finally raised her head to answer. "Um... al-alright Rainbow..." she... that was a whisper, not a murmur, right? Whatever it was, it was much louder than whatever she leaned up to Applejack to whisper. His friend nodded back with a lidded, intent look, which faded into a warm smile as her ear flicked. She nodded again as she gave a quiet whisper of her own, then raised her head and softly jerked it towards the expectant, hovering duo. At that, Fluttershy finally stepped timidly out from behind Applejack. Her wings unfolded, and in a few, shy steps, she gradually crept into the air. He'd spent enough time watching Rainbow and wishing for her to crash that he could recognize good flight habits, and the way Fluttershy hesitantly paused between wingbeats was far off proficiency. Barely even... competency. The evidently extremely withdrawn mare did not catch his eye again, even as she passed right by him to meet Rainbow. The prismatic pegasus, however, did shoot him one of her usual dry frowns, which he gladly returned. And which doused a second later as Rainbow turned to flap away, and Pinkie Pie turned over her own shoulder with an expected grin. "Seeya Night-Light! Glad to see you're feeling better! Bye Applejack, and good luuuuuck!" she called in a musically lilting tone, which was just... annoying. With that final, unnecessary farewell, they made their egress. Fluttershy shyly fluttering away beside Rainbow hefting her burden like a weightlifter, as Pinkie continued to gleefully sway back and forth on her living swing. An odd trio they made, who he could honestly say had nothing evidently in common. ...'Good luck,' huh? If she'd really meant well, she would've wished them both good luck. He needed it, too. He watched his sorta-friends begin to rise to the sky for another few seconds before he breathed in a tired sigh, and forced himself to turn. For the first time since he'd woken up, he was alone with Applejack. Nothing between them but air, and nothing in the air except apprehension. Now what? He cleared his throat. Applejack shuffled her hoof against the other. They both took a quick glance in opposite directions, but neither of them found anything interesting to bring up. He pursed his lips. Applejack smacked hers. He thought for a moment about speaking, then discarded the thought in a moment of anxiety. Applejack sighed. He was really glad they were finally hashing this out. Good job, all involved. This silence was... stupid. Light shook his head, and tried to muster up his scarce courage. "So," he began, then his throat immediately clamped up as Applejack met his gaze again. A tide of blood rushed to his head as the full force of the tension hit him, and he turned bashfully away. He stared at the loose space about the tree husk aside them for a very long moment of contemplation. Weighing the odds. Thinking things through. Devising an exit strategy if things went horribly. With his mental affairs in order, Light finally took a deep breath, took another, then forced himself to turn to his friend. "Why don't we... go for a walk?" His quiet murmur was met with the barest crease to Applejack's brow that just as soon faded as her gaze entirely lightened, and she managed a small smile. "Ah think that sounds real nice." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He'd never much liked summer. The air was disturbingly muggy, and the scarce winds rustling through the trees around them were far too infrequent to provide relief. Not to mention the sun just seemed so much hotter, especially as the path they trotted along lacked a reasonable canopy. It was a picturesque dirt road through a grove of trees on a hot summer day, and he hated it. At least the company was good. "-and Apple Strudel 'n Apple Tart got real into it with each other just like they always do, an' for somethin' as nothin' as whether danish was more similar to tarts or strudel!" Applejack groaned and rolled her eyes for the third time since starting her story on her relations, while Light let out a low hum. "They know danish is its own pastry, don't they?" He smacked his lips in idle consideration as Applejack let out an uncertain humph, and he raised his eyes to the blue sky above. "Though, I'd have to say it's definitely more similar to strudel." His gait faltered as he was rudely shoved, and he cast a glare to the mare who'd pushed him in the shoulder. "That's what ah told 'em! But all's they wanted was to go at each other!" she cried incredulously, as she slowed to throw a free hoof into the air. "At that point, ah just had to tell 'em to leave it alone!" Light let his glare fade away as he drifted slightly to the left, out of Applejack's range. "And they actually listened to you?" It was as quiet as it could be for two ponies with eight clopping hooves between them for a moment, before Applejack let out a massive sigh. "I reckon not. Those two're as likely to listen to me as they are to each other." He took a quick glance to his side and found his friend staring glumly ahead, so it was probably safe to walk beside her again. He drifted back to her side- too close as he accidentally bumped his flank against hers. He murmured an instinctive apology as her gaze rose to him and she quirked an eyebrow, then shook her head dismissively. He made a fool of himself often enough, so it wasn't too hard to brush past the sudden awkwardness. "I can't really remember... are they the two with the same style of mane, but one of them is green and the other is blonde?" he asked, absently trying to remember their faces through the sheer slate of Apples. He glanced over to see Applejack scowling sideways at him in the wake of his musing, then quickly returned his eyes to the road straight ahead. They were coming up to a bend, if he remembered the area right. Had to make sure he didn't walk into a tree, was all. After a moment of holding his breath and hoping for the tension to break, Applejack finally let out a soft snort. "Apple Tart and Apple Strudel are mah aunt n' uncle." Light sucked in a quiet seethe as his friend who had too many relatives huffed. "Honestly, y'all never even tried to remember my family's names." His next step came down harder. "That's because you've got like a hundred aunts and uncles!" he complained, to which Applejack scoffed, as she always did. She probably even rolled her eyes, the mule. "I can barely remember my own name half the time, so how am I supposed to..." He trailed off, and without thinking much of it, slowed to a gradual halt. By the sound of it, Applejack slowed beside him as well. Probably staring at him all... emotionally. Probably with shock and pity, or maybe anger. He didn't know; his gaze was firmly on the ground. On the mocking, brown dirt: the same color as he was. He felt a little like dirt. Light licked along the backs of his teeth, wondering for the faintest moment whether he could find a way to just gloss over it. If he kept pretending everything was fine as they had silently agreed to for the time they'd been walking, maybe she'd leave it alone? And while she was at it, maybe she'd start curling her eyelashes. Big fat chance. "Applejack... listen, about yesterday..." He began, then trailed off as his ears began to burn, and he brought a hoof to rub tiredly against a sudden ache in his head. He could do this; he just needed to look her in the eye, and speak. He just needed to come out and say it. Applejack, I'm sorry. That's how easy it would be. It was the easiest thing in the world. Just do it. Open his eyes, and do it. Turn, and say it. He peeled his eyes open, turned, and opened his mouth. "Applejack, I'm-" His anticipation peaked in a second, then plummeted to an all-time low as he watched his friend's banded tail disappear behind a tree on the side of the road. He was left summarily alone in the middle of the path with his mouth hanging dumbly open, wondering when it had all gone wrong. His best guess? Around the time he'd walked into a pole when he was nine. Was Applejack finally fed up with him? Had she ditched him? Did she want him to follow her? Should he? Orange fur and emerald eyes peeked out from behind the tree that she'd previously disappeared behind. "Get a move on, already!" she called irately out to him, to which Light let out a droning monosyllable. He raised his hoof to begin trotting- but without even thinking first. Where was she going? Why hadn't she said anything before galloping off? Applejack's head disappeared behind the tree again, and Light suddenly didn't care very much about giving himself the third, fourth and fifth degree. That could come later, just as soon as he was sure he wasn't about to be abandoned. What a strange turn, him wanting company. He'd warmed then cooled then warmed back up to the idea of amity quite suddenly over the past three years. He pranced forward and began to canter after his egressive friend. He also mentally admonished himself for the pun as he rounded the tree, and caught a flash of blonde hair before it disappeared behind another tree. This was going to be a chore, wasn't it? Applejack was not the sort of pony to dawdle in most situations, nor did she waste very much time waiting for him. He was left without the slightest inkling of a destination as he chased after her constantly retreating tail, his friend blazing a confidant- or lost- path through the woods. Not once did she ever slow down, even as he called out to her- even as he started to pant in exertion and thinly plead for her to just give him a break! She just kept winding around trees- endless trees that stretched on forever despite the fact they weren't even in very deep woods. Somehow, there just kept being more. What direction were they going in? Was his vision fading? He'd really benefit from a drink or something... Oh he should've known better than to try to keep up with a workhorse like Applejack. Just as Light, panting and groaning and barely keeping his hooves rising above his waist, was sure his legs were going to give out and he was going to pass out in the woods like a chump, the subtle sound of babbling began to trickle in through the pounding in his ears. No, not talking- the physical strain was beginning to get to his mind as well... It was a stream, and soon after he'd barely picked his pace up in the faint hope of an ending, the vaguely-heard phenomena came up before him. A sunny little break in the trees, and a large ditch- more like a trench- with a low stream running through it. Completely idyllic- but he didn't care very much. Light swallowed his tongue back into his mouth: scanning the sides of the shallow river around him through drooping eyes. No sign of his friend anywhere he could see. Trees and rocks and more untamed greenery than he could possibly stand, but no orange. He was getting a sinking feeling he'd made a wrong turn somewhere, and now Applejack was waiting for him in a clearing he'd never find. Who to blame? Himself, or his friend? He just loved to do both so much; how could he ever decide? Light sighed, and let his head hang low. He turned to begin the arduous task of wandering around and screaming Applejack's name for a useless hour or two, when- He was shoved. He'd like to say he put up some sort of fight as he was pushed in the side. Perhaps regaining his balance quickly and striking back as prompt combatant would. Rounding on his aggressor and turning the tables in a spectacular fashion that left him the ultimate victor in all things ever. He couldn't quite say that because all he did was yelp loudly as he was taken off his hooves. Barely even catching a flash of grinning orange before he was falling, and barely able to turn in time to see the fast-approaching blue. Even less time to process horrifying flashbacks of weightlessness and rushing grey before he- cold! His hearing cut out as he hit the surface of the water, and he plunged into the freezing depths. Lost under the current for entire minutes of fighting- struggling- pleading for a reprieve from the encompassing pressure of the water pressing in around him. Like an invisible combatant. Like a fitful war with gravity itself. Like a- Like a- Light sat up in the chest-high water, which he'd sorely misjudged the literal and literary depth of. Panic was one heck of a creative motivator. His fur was wet, and he was sorely missing his inner warmth. There was water dripping into his eye- blink- and there were now a few bruises he hadn't even known about beginning to ache anew. Lovely. Life was just so lovely. A nonstop barrage of uncompromising happenings against any sense or reason. Well, that wasn't true, was it? There was a reason Light Flow was sitting on his cold butt with water running off his soggy mane, wasn't there? He levied an unamused glare towards the heavens- towards the laughing orange face and the crinkling white freckles standing at the stream's edge. His enjoyment of her best facial feature aside- he should have known better than to stand at the precarious edge of a stream when Applejack was anywhere near him. Sure, he'd pushed her into water a lot more than the inverse over their lives, but this was just reckless of her. Didn't she have any awareness of the situation? There was a time and a place for mucking around, and this was not it. He'd become preoccupied with demeaning Applejack's motives for the time being, so he was still glaring up at her silently by the time her laughs quieted down. "Sorry 'bout that, Light! I jes' figured you needed a washing, an' the chance was just too good not to take!" she called as she lowered herself to a seat at the stream's side: a wide, smarmy smile on her face, shining to a glint in time with her apple-shaped necklace. He scowled more resolutely as her address brought him back around to reality, and he angrily bared his teeth. "How magnanimous of you," he ground out through his frown, which rose into a seething smile as he sat further up. "It's so generous that I find it rude to not reciprocate. Why don't you come and join me, Orange Hooves!?" He made a fruitless grab for her as he rocked forward on his hooves, but there wasn't any effort behind it. She was far away enough that she didn't even have to lean away to dodge, only grin smugly down at his worthless attempt. Whatever. It was about the meaning rather than the result. It was about making a statement of petty retribution; he didn't have to actually follow through. Light huffed restlessly as he fell back onto his haunches, and hugged his hooves closer to his soaked barrel. "I was about to say something before you ran off, you know." His grumble was uncaringly met with a casual shrug, so he rolled his eyes to match her nonchalance. "Maybe I'll just give up and leave you all alone." He glanced down to inspect his wet self- that was a lot of red mixing into the water- so he barely registered that it'd gone quiet until he flicked his gaze back up and found himself caught. Suddenly dumbfounded as he realized his friend's gaze had turned downcast, and a heavy frown had replaced her self-serving smile. All at once, the light mood had fallen. All at once, his friend seemed bereaved. All at once, he began to feel the chill. Because of what he'd said. It was all because of him. What he'd done, and what he'd said. What he hadn't said. It was time. He returned his gaze down, and bit his lip. Gnawing at the skin until it broke, and the taste of iron helped to solidify his resolve. The pang of pain helped him to find the strength to stand, to not shiver too hard, and to wade to the water's side. One hoof, then the other; Light huffed in exertion as he gradually pulled himself up onto the river's edge. He took a glance sideways as he heaved and ho'd, and found his friend staring his way with a small, melancholic smile. "Need help, sugarcube?" she offered as he rolled over onto his back- but screw her. He'd already had three hooves up by the time she said anything; there wasn't any help left to give. Rather than saying screw you to her face, however, he silently shook his head and rolled over onto his hooves. Because he was mature, and the situation didn't call for it. He had situational awareness, unlike some ponies. Which was why he didn't chide himself for the intrusive insult as he made to sit beside Applejack. He settled down with a frown as his friend rediscovered hers, and they both took to staring quietly out into the woods. The disquieting sound of the running water in their ears, and nothing else. What to say? How to begin? No matter how Light tried to think the conversation through, it always seemed lame and unrealistic. One end of the extreme. Too harsh; too forgiving. He couldn't put himself in her horseshoes with how twisted his perspective had become, and he certainly couldn't expect her to empathize with him. He was the jerk who'd left her at the party without so much as a good luck saving the world. He'd been a jerk through their entire lives. He'd been... He was always... But he really wished he could just... ...how to break the cycle? "I almost died last night." It seemed ripped straight from the pages of his own mind. Such a macabre thought that he'd been endlessly plagued by for... most of his life, that Light could be forgiven for thinking he'd been the one to say it, at first. But it hadn't been him. It was Applejack. A casual comment made in the dullest monotone without even glancing his direction. He wished he could say he felt a wave of sadness wash over him, or even a heady rush of indignant anger. But there was nothing except the shock; a full-body, tingling sensation of stupor that dominated his reaction. The slightest gape; a wide stare towards his friend. Her glimmering, golden soul: shaded lightly grey. And Applejack only continued to stare forwards. Her dull gaze searching for something across the stream: pupils restlessly flicking around her sclera as though she were reading the air. "...Seems almost too much to believe, what with all that happened after, n' not gettin' any sleep." She finally blinked: breaking her search as her gaze fell. "...Can hardly even remember it." Light felt trapped- truly trapped in his own body: knowing and thinking everything he should've been feeling, but there was nothing. As little feeling as Applejack showed in the slight motion of her hoof raising to her hat, taking her apparel and setting it unthinkingly at her side. It left the top of her head free to stare at, and he couldn't stare anywhere else but the tiny shade of red marring coarse, matted blonde. "Took it when we were all in the Everfree goin' after Nightmare Moon," Applejack supplied tonelessly, because she knew why she'd taken her hat off. "Nothin' more serious than a lil' scrape, and I never felt it none, but..." Her eyes fluttered as she tensed for a deep breath, then let it out in a deep, shaking sigh. "...It coulda been worse." Her gaze rose again, and she was searching again as she continued to speak in a detached, wrong drone. "It happened faster 'n I could think. One minute, Twilight was walkin' right in front 'a me, and before I'd even realized the cliff was crumbling, she was gone. Quick as that." She took a sharp breath as her entire body tensed, and turned away as her voice came so close to thinning. "An' then... I was fallin' too." He wanted to- He needed to- Make it better. Keep her safe. But how did he- How did he? How did he? After a moment of silent reverie, Applejack raised her head with a sharp breath: setting a newly haunting look forward, and beginning her lilting recollection anew. "I remember... slidin' down real fast. I remember... how scared I was... that I just kept lookin for Twilight or Dash or Fluttershy around me..." She paused to take a pained breath: raising her hoof in the long moments after to rest on top of the small blot of red in her mane. "Ah remember how that branch came up before me..." He could see- how he wished he didn't- the beginnings of a full-body shake as she bit her lip, and clenched her eyes tightly shut. "...but ah don't remember grabbin' it..." It was the moment after that when Light realized, in the dimly-lit back of his mind, that she'd been holding back tears. Because suddenly she wasn't holding them back. Her first sob- the first, heartbreaking choke came on wave of visible shivers as her hoof fell down, and she hugged it to her side. "An' then ah saw Twilight... She was still slidin' down towards the edge..." She continued to shake: taking deeply unsteady breaths whenever she wasn't speaking- and Light did nothing. "She looked back up at me like- like she thought ah could help... an' without even thinkin' of it... ah just let go." What little composure she kept broke as she managed a laugh: bleeding into a whine as she wiped at her eyes with her free hoof. "Dunno- don't have the foggiest idea why... all's I know is that somethin' just came over me. Thought I could- might've been able to save her." She hiccupped then coughed messily, while her voice petered to a thin whisper that made him feel hollow inside. "Then I was fallin' again... and nothin' I had thought I could do seemed right anymore..." He was- His hooves were restless and squeamish in his lap, but what was he going to..? If- if he tried- If he said something- Maybe if he leaned forward- or maybe if he leaned away..? How could he- Was it right to- What did he want to..? No matter how hard he hyperventilated or how many times he licked his too-dry lips, Applejack was still crying. His best friend in the world- his only love- his oldest friend- His. She had been in danger and he hadn't been able to do anything about it. Applejack had gone silent- weeping softly- for a moment, but then she started to speak again with a off-kilter breath, and Light's attention was jerked back. "Ah knew... shoulda known the edge was just too close, an' there was no way I was gettin' to her in time... but I just did it anyway. Just couldn't stop myself..." Her shaking breaths worsened for a moment as she shivered roughly- he wanted to warm her- but then they found a balance. An uneven rhythm of shaking and sniffling as Applejack's raised herself barely up, and her voice strengthened just that little bit. "I came close enough to goin' over with her when ah grabbed her hoof that I... I still remember how far down it was behind her. How she seemed so... so big above those trees..." She laughed wetly at that, and sniffed roughly. A knowing mockery of humor, because it wasn't funny. "Ah was half a pony's length off the edge... an' there was just no room to pull her up..." She bit her lip and nodded gently as her hoof untangled from her side, and gently fell to the ground. She bent forward and forward... until he lost sight of her face. Her voice sounded again, and it was painfully strained. "Ah saw her, you know that? I saw Rainbow Dash in the air under her. Ah knew she was waitin' to catch her... an' I- I know it was the right thing to let her fall... but I just... ah just..." She choked on a sob as her voice pitched high and cracked, and suddenly, she was pushing herself towards him. Two hooves clutching tightly at his back, and fast, lilting breaths in his ear. Warmth on his cold pelt, and a shaking chest pressed against his. "Ah couldn't help thinkin' ah'd let her fall to her death..!" she sobbed freely, barely even coherent through the constantly lilting pitch of her voice, and the choking, and the cracking. All the while, she held onto him for dear life. Clutched so tightly to him that it began to hurt. As if she thought he could help. As if he knew what to do. "After ah'd told her to trust me... after ah'd told her ah was tellin' the truth about Rainbow... the way- the way her eyes went so wide as she fell, just for those few hoof-lengths... ah just... ah couldn't..!" There was nothing else. Her voice cracked to nothingness, and she let out a final, desperate wail that petered off to a drawn-out whine. After that, she only sobbed. For what felt like a long time after, Applejack only cried. Something so traumatizing that it had reduced the strongest pony he'd ever known to groveling for comfort. For safety and security from a pony she knew was hiding everything from her. So, he gave it to her. He hugged her back. As tightly and as closely as he could, for as long as she needed. He let her shuffle closer, and bury her shaking cries into his neck, and desperately clutch at him for whatever comfort it was giving her. He didn't know why. He couldn't empathize; he could barely even comprehend her trauma, much less try to understand how she felt. All he could do was comfort her. "I'm sorry," he whispered thinly, and again, and again. Over and over as she shook against him, he told her he was sorry. And he was. He had never, in all of his miserable, self-serving life, been so deeply sorry that he could feel the hatred for himself in his bones. Applejack had almost died. He should've- why hadn't he considered that? He'd never... even entertained the idea that she could have been in danger. He'd thought... he'd stupidly thought that once he'd sacrificed himself, she would've been safe. The prophecy had said she would be safe. Lies. But she was safe, wasn't she? She was here, in his hooves, alive and warm and well. Breathing. Crying. Frightened, but so blissfully alive. Her physical safety shouldn't have been the only assurance. She shouldn't have had to go through any of what she had. No, she shouldn't have. For once, he agreed with the whispers in his head. Applejack shouldn't have been in danger; she shouldn't have been the hero. Not if it meant her near-death. She should've been safe, always. Who to blame? There had to be someone to blame. Of course there was someone to blame, and he knew who. Harmony. The long-dead mage. Nightmare Moon. Himself. It was Harmony that had deigned her importance, and consigned her to a turbulent fate. From the day Applejack had come into this world, it had always been her destiny to face Nightmare Moon. It had been her destiny to fall down that cliff. To bear the burden of brutal honesty, and to let a pony fall. If Harmony was the core of the world, then Equus was rotten. Damn those stupid letters filling his head with nonsense about supposed heroes. What dreck. A hero was an impossible ideal. Heroes never failed; heroes never feared. They weren't heroes. They were ordinary ponies thrust into a situation they'd never been prepared for. It wasn't fair. He couldn't forget why she'd been there, either. It felt redundant to find another reason why Nightmare Moon had been such a heinous villain, but what the hay- he sure as heck blamed Her. Her plan had been even less than a desperate justification for evil, it'd had consequences. It was real. Where were the repercussions for Luna? Why was Her head under a crown, and not an axe? He'd allowed this all to happen, so why wasn't he dead? He'd abetted Nightmare Moon long enough for Her plan to be feasible, and so She'd tried, and Applejack had almost died. It was his fault she had almost died. The logic was consistent; his reasoning was unassailable. A begets B begets C. A equals C. He should've died when he hit the ground- he'd deserved to, but he hadn't, and now he was hugging Applejack. He was still alive, and still able to comfort her, and still able to protect her. He'd always protect her. She was precious, and wonderful, and deserved everything he had to give her. No matter what may come, whatever she would endure, he would help her. He would be there for her. He'd give his all. He'd give himself. He'd do anything to keep her safe. He'd throw himself from that window a thousand times if it meant he could go back and undo what she'd gone through. He'd plunge into the depths of Tartarus itself if it meant she would keep living. He was hers. She was his. His. His. His. His. "Light..? You're... holdin' me too tightly..." It was only then, as Applejack's small voice filtered in through the screaming voices telling him to hold her, that he realized the edges of his vision were darkening into rich, misty purple. With that startling realization and a breath, the color began to gradually clear, and the prickling sensation of throat-choking desire running through his veins slowly drained away. And then he loosened his stiff grip around his friend. Light sat back with a racing heart and even faster thoughts, only barely managing to keep a lid on his off-kilter breathing as Applejack leaned back to blink at him through misty eyes. Her reddened gaze pleading for him to reciprocate, but he just- He had to turn away, even for just a second. He just- he couldn't look at her right now. He didn't... feel as though he deserved to. He'd just have to bear the weight of knowing she was staring at him. She knew very well how he was; she'd just wait for him to pay attention to her again. A good friend. She'd only have to wait a moment while he freaked out. He couldn't deny it any longer, there was something wrong with him. The mist was coming out more and more, and his... fits were growing steadily worse. It was frightening in the least immediate way, especially since he'd never understood why his eyes bled mist when he got worked up. Though, it was usually anger that caused it. He hadn't been all that angry just then. He'd mostly felt... possessive. Wasn't that a good thing? He had to shelve further thought. This wasn't the time to worry about it so long as it wasn't going to immediately hurt him or anypony else. It wasn't immediate; not like Applejack. He had to pay heed to his ailing friend. His so-named friend was... a mess. The fur under her eyes was terribly matted down with drying tears, her eyes themselves were even redder than her face, and there was a copious amount of snot dribbling down into the strange, wobbly shape of her mouth. He often tried to look for the beauty in her appearance, even when he was in the midst of screaming disparaging remarks at her, but he couldn't honestly say she looked all that attractive right now. It was probably a good thing he hadn't said that out loud, something he was even more sure of as the mood shifted, and Applejack raised her hoof to grip his shoulder. Her eyes shone brightly through their redness as she spoke. "Ah don't wanna leave things unsaid, Light." Her voice was a thin, warbling rasp, but even still, she managed to inject her words with so much force. A proud, stern tone that never quite managed to leave her, even in the worst of times. "I don't wanna leave questions, or wonder about what might've been. I wanna... I wanna know." Her message struck home, and Light felt momentarily dizzied by its pure, emphatic force. Maybe it was her clear, overwhelming emotion; maybe it was because he could relate. And how he could relate to that sentiment. He'd died without ever achieving anything. He'd left so much unfinished. Whatever the case, the feeling intensified further as she suddenly took firm hold of his other shoulder. Their eyes meeting directly as he was stilled, and he only managed a dim realization that she was forcing him to look at her. Her voice sounded again, and as her face firmed into a strengthened frown, it became forcibly assertive. Not at all as though she'd been crying moments before, though he could still hear the thickness in her throat. The astonishing power of her will remained completely inexplicable to him, though he'd never deny the effect it had on him. After the tears, and the trauma, and the total destruction of her dignity, Applejack had still turned completely around to speak to him in a tense, albeit clipped, voice. Weighty, and completely intent. "So ah wanna know, Light. What happened to you?"