Princess Celestia is in your bed, and you don't know why: what do?

Cute, funny, and short. Have fun reading!

Proofreading by RaylanKrios.
Now with audio reading by CaptainBron3y
Second audio reading by MeloncholyIguana.

Based on this story:
Princess Celestia is (still) in your Bed
Princess Celestia Has Stolen All Your Bed Sheets
Drunk CelestAI Is In Your Bed
Fimfic Authors Are In Your Bed
Princess Celestia is in Your Washing Machine

Darius Mahoney is a 19 year-old army sergeant, who, after a brief taste of battle in the ever-growing wars for Africa, arrives back in his home town to enjoy several weeks’ leave. Choosing to ignore the pressuring demands of his father, he volunteers to continue on with the allied war campaigns throughout the winter months.

Seeking an escape from the ire of his father, which is sure to ensue, he ventures out into the northern Canadian wilderness, in an ultralight to central Québec, to be with his one and only passion. Little does he know that what he finds there will change his life, and the world, forever…

This story is a sequel to Memoirs of a Royal Guard

From the outside looking in, life has never been better for Silent Knight. He is the first pony in a long line of Royal Guard ancestry to earn a commission, he has a loving mare by his side, and he bears the kingdom’s highest honor for bravely risking it all to protect Princess Luna. The future shines bright with potential, but the shadows of the past lurk at every twist and turn that lies ahead.

Guilt, anger, and regret are constantly at war in the depths of Silent Knight’s mind. Despite his best efforts to enjoy the life he has, he finds himself trapped in the past, reliving the moment when his unit was ambushed and his ponies were killed. He refuses to show any weakness, instead hiding everything behind a tough face to protect himself and those he loves. But his true feelings—and what he plans to do with them—shackle everything he holds dear with chains forged in secret.

Secrets of a Royal Guard is a comedy series with romantic, dramatic, and adventure elements. It features an original character cast and their interactions with the princesses they protect. It is recommended that readers be familiar with Memoirs of a Royal Guard.

Quill & Blade Universe

A head full of romance is what many Canterlot ponies would call a frivolous waste of time. Everypony was meant to play by the rules of high society: keep your nose in the air, laugh at important ponies' jokes, and attend all of the right parties. Upper Crust and Jet Set had been diligent in raising their daughter Crystal Wishes to be a pony everypony would know, but she wanted more out of life than that. She hoped she would someday meet a handsome prince and fall in love, just like in the stories she wrote.

Crystal knew life wasn't as easy as a foal's tale, but that didn't stop her from dreaming. All of the wishes, hopes, and dreams inside her heart escaped into her precious notebook as she wrote about princesses in power and dashing knights. So long as nopony found out her secret, she could continue to play the part of a dutiful daughter while waiting for her own love story to begin.

Spike decides he wants some spending money, so he gets a job as an assistant to the local DJ, Vinyl Scratch.

What starts off as a part-time 'errand boy' job, quickly evolves into a close friendship, and may become something more in time. Apparently, they have more in common than they ever would have thought.

Super special thanks to Avox for being my editor.
Super speical thanks to themouthofmush and Starlight Shadow for Proofreading. You guys rock!

Cover by: wafflenaw

There are many legends whispered among the ponies of Equestria, but none are stranger than that of the metal man that fell from the stars. Legend has it that the metal man's suit of armor still exists to this very day, slumbering the centuries away in the Canterlot Archives ...

Takes place during the season four finale.

Here's some quick background info on what you need to know, seeing as the 40K universe is huge and no one can be expected to know everything.

The Space Marine chapter involved in this story is a little known chapter known as the Celestial Lions, who are a descendant of the Imperial Fists. They were targeted for destruction by the Inquisition after defying them on an Exterminatus that was due to purge a world the Lions had fought for and saved. They fought during the Third War for Armageddon mainly, and during the fighting, they were reduced from 950+ battle brothers to just 96. Their numbers are even lower now, due to events that will be explored during this story.

Edited and Proofread by the amazing Loyalist. He's seen some heresy.

Featured on 4/26/15 and again on 7/25/15

Octavia was always one for planning ahead. Whether it be dinner that night or her career years away, she always had an idea of how to get there. The right amount of practice, the proper performance to the right pony, and she could see her life progressing exactly as it should.

However, suddenly turning into an alicorn kind of put a damper on her plans.

Story thirteen in my Twidash Challenge: Secondary Pairing (Quite Obviously)

A soldier from the frontlines of the Equestrian Civil War returns home, out of place and out of touch with the world that he once called home and struggles to fit in. Little does he know his past will be coming back to haunt him.

The mane-six want to have fun at the beach along with Spike. During the water filled weekend, Dash has been acting rather... odd around Spike. Overly teasing; physically getting close to him; acting like it's nothing. Just what is Rainbow trying to tell him?
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Side note ignore the comments about grammar issues I got I fixed and will side future chapters to editors before submitting them.

editors:
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Megamind+Grant

Everypony has a story. Some tell of heroic feats and grand adventure. Others tell of villainy against the forces of Harmony. The story of an average guard, however, is one of obscurity. They live in the background, unnoticed but ever-present.

Silent Knight assumed his tale would be like that of his father's: join the Royal Guard and serve Equestria. He would be just another helmet and spear, part of the rank and file. And that was all he ever wanted.

However, when Captain Shining Armor asked for volunteers to form a House Guard for the recently returned Princess Luna, it was Silent's hooves that stepped forwards to set his new life in motion.