• Published 31st Aug 2014
  • 45,232 Views, 757 Comments

Princess Celestia is in your bed. - ocalhoun



Princess Celestia is inexplicably in your bed.

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What do?

The sliding door was open when I came home.

I didn't think much of it; I was tired after a long day of working at the plant. Probably just my roommate, Wayne, being irresponsible again. I just dropped my bag next to the old couch and headed for the fridge for a drink.

All my soda was gone. I could have sworn I put a bottle of strawberry Fanta in there that morning, right there in the pocket of the fridge door. I'd even written 'OC' with a sharpie on the cap. Wayne needed a talking to, that was for sure. I settled for the half-gallon of orange juice in the back. It had been in there a long time, but orange juice doesn't really go bad, does it? Probably healthier, anyway. Unless it went bad.

It didn't taste wrong, so I shrugged it off. Probably fine. The rest of the house seemed to be in normal order, or normal disorder.

There was a crystal wine glass in the sink. I leaned over to look, and yes, it had a tiny little smear of red in the bottom. So that was where the Fanta went. But why the wine glass? Everybody has them: a set of fancy glasses they keep around 'for special occasions' but never actually use. This one had probably sat untouched in the cupboard for years... until today, when somebody used it to drink strawberry Fanta... a lot of strawberry Fanta.

I rolled my eyes. What was up with Wayne? This was weird, even for him. Not that I had much room to talk, I supposed.

After a good swig, I put the orange juice back in the fridge and headed to my bedroom. I needed to call my girlfriend, but then I could relax for a while. Work at the plant wasn't all that hard, but it was hot and tedious. 'Tiresome' might be the word.

As soon as I opened the door to my bedroom, I knew something was wrong. A big white equine something with wings.

Princess Celestia — in all her royal glory — was lying on my bed. Her wings sprawled open across the sheets, her back hooves rested on my favorite pillow, and her front hooves rested on her chest. She snored lightly.

I stood there, frozen in the doorway. I stood there for a long time.

It amazed me, how big she was. She filled up the whole queen size bed, and then some. Her mane and tail flowed off of it, waving across the floor as she slept.

I regained enough mental function to take another step and shut the door behind me... but not enough function to think that maybe I should have left my escape route open.

Some primitive part of me wanted to rage at the violation of my personal territory. Some fan-boyish part of me wanted to squeal with glee. But most of me just wanted to say, 'What the hell?'

These conflicting desires conspired to produce a very profound “Um... what?”

Her snoring stopped. She rolled her neck, opened her eyes just a little, and gave me a sleepy upside-down smile.

Princess Celestia?”

She nodded a little. “Hi.”

She could talk! She was real. The real Princess Celestia was in my bed. This was so impossible! ... And so... wrong.

“Princess?” I leaned my head a little to the side as I asked. “What are you doing in my bed?”

She slowly stretched her hooves out before plopping them back down exactly where they were. Her smile grew, but her eyes closed. “Napping.”

“Right...” I looked around the room. Nothing else seemed to be out of place, though my computer was turned on. I always put it in sleep mode before I leave for work. “But... why are you napping? Why are you napping here?”

“S'very comfy.” She nuzzled her head into a soft, wadded-up blanket — one of my favorites.

Celestia!” I surprised myself with my vehemence.

Her head popped up and turned almost upright. “Princess Celestia.” She plopped back down onto the bed.

I rubbed my hand across my face. This was not the time for such weirdness. “Okay, Princess Celestia. Why are you here?”

“To bask in your glorious presence, of course.”

I just stared at her, my hands on my hips.

She giggled. “Very well, I'm here to appreciate your lovely Twilight Sparkle toy.” She reached beneath a blanket and pulled out a Twilight plushie, holding it up to her face. “It's so cute!”

I didn't move.

She tossed the plushie away and turned her head. “I have no need to confide in the likes of you!”

I was figuring things out, though. “Luna banished you, didn't she?”

“Question not my motives, mortal!” She kicked my favorite pillow onto the floor.

“Well, can you at least get out of my bed? I'm really tired from work and I need to relax. This isn't helping.”

She rolled her head to look at me, then rolled her eyes as well. “Oh, you are tired? Pay no attention to me, I have just been thrust across an uncrossable reality barrier by my treacherous niece, but oh no, you're tired from your pathetic daily labor and need your rest.”

I matched her eye roll. “Come on, this is no time for sleeping. Look how high the sun is.” I pointed at the window.

The slow fall of my finger traced the sun's abnormally fast descent below the horizon.

“There. Nighttime.” Celestia yawned. “No moon today. Too tired.”

Well that was going to make some astronomers' lives more interesting than usual. Sunset at five thirty. She might be messing with things on an astronomical scale, but my tired mind was focused on smaller things. “And my Fanta?”

She opened her eyes again and smiled wide. “It was delicious!”

I breathed a heavy sigh. “Come on. Don't be childish. I've watched the show — I know you're over a thousand years old.” I gestured toward my bed. “So what are we going to do about this?”

She paused for a moment, then smiled even wider. With altogether more rustling, flopping, and tussling of sheets than necessary, she turned herself around and rolled over onto her side, freeing up half the bed, though her wings hung over the edge on one side. Her horn glowed, and my pillow floated up to the head of the bed next to her.

She patted the empty spot on the bed next to her and smiled at me, her eyes still drooping sleepily.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding.”

Comments ( 752 )

As I understand it I'm only reading for grammar type errors and typos, and in this story I found none. Onward ho!

This needs to be continued
Or I'll send Gunnery Seargent Hartmen on you :trollestia:

Dude, you are like a word processor that became sentient today.


Dat ending...... Dat ending..... :moustache:

:trollestia:

you could and I would love if you did turn this in to a series about Wayne and the protagonist putting up with celestia as a new room(house?)mate and the ensuing shenanigans, but even if you don't great story

That was cute, and pretty good in general. I rather liked it. And thank you so much for not naming him "Anon," for that awful name grinds my gears like nothing else.

Haha, cute. I can't help but wonder what the consequences of instant night at 5:30 would be.

Human/Princess interactions like this are far more entertaining than the interminable clop/fantasy fulfillment shipping/LoHAV crap.

Read it. LIked it. Faved. Expecting Celestia in my bed at any moment now.:trollestia:

Now, should I put this in the league of cuddle's cuddling folder for intended snuggles, or etc for maybe upcoming struggle snuggle? :derpytongue2:

4933546
Who? :rainbowhuh:

4933558
:rainbowlaugh:
That's the best description of it I've read all day!

4933560
:rainbowwild:
That was my favorite part.

4933571
Six :trollestia:'s ^.^ Must have done something right.

4933572
That could be fun. ^.^

4933586
Of course!

4933589
Sequel-fodder maybe?

4933609
I know, right?
:rainbowkiss:
I could have gone... the other way with this concept, but I like this one better.

4933611
It could happen.

4933649
What's a struggle snuggle? :rainbowhuh:

4933667 A struggle snuggle where one person doesn't want to be huggled but is anyway:eeyup:

I'd like to think this was cute, but....

Tia's kind of an jerk, isn't she?

4933821
A bit. :trollestia:
She's had a hard day.

4933807
But then, Everyone happened. :rainbowlaugh:

4933681
Yeah... I think it could fit in that category. :trollestia:

This was cute.

4933899
What I'm going for! :twilightsmile:

“Oh, you are tired? Pay no attention to me, I have just been thrust across an uncrossable reality barrier by my treacherous niece,

Damn those.... sisters/cousins of Blueblood? :unsuresweetie: Never could trust them, I guess.

4933912
Cadance! :yay:
:trixieshiftright: Not to be trusted.

4933920
Well now I have to wonder what Celestia has done to have Cadance work with Luna to banish her. Or what Luna could offer to win Cadance's favor...

Or what horrible fate now awaits Luna after Equestria is taken over by manipulating powers of the princess of love.

4933920 Wait, I thought it was Canadance. Those treacherous... oh, wait.

Made me think of this, for some reason.

4933945

after Equestria is taken over by manipulating powers of the princess of love.

So. Much. Shipping! :rainbowderp:

4933952
Canadance is too polite for that. :trollestia:

i like how calm this guy was about this. but what i like even more is how he didn't fanboy out and what i liked the most was that it wasn't a romance one-shot, it was just silly.:rainbowlaugh:

4933589

Looting -- a LOT of looting.

Phoenix Wright: "Ah, the first thing in Equestria that meets my on eye-level!" :trollestia:

Now this has got to continue.

:3 Love this. 'Tis so cute!

Very cute. Celestia needs more cuddles from humans.:twilightsmile:

4933661 Gunnery Sargent Hartmen was the drill instructor in Full Metal Jacket.

BE GONE FROM MY BED DEMON!
'Grabs Duplet'

4934565

4934609 Thank you for giving me the means to not sleep tonight.

4934626
Your welcome, and I've seen worse, much worse

Welcome to the Metro

Can you make this a chapter story? With actual chapters?

4933961
Of course! Romance would totally kill it!

4933962
Heh, probably.

4934267
When did he get here?

4934335
I think you might be right.

4934492
4934548
Indeed, much cuteness! :moustache:

4934565
Oh, right.

4934609
Don't lie. You wouldn't kick her out of bed. :trollestia:

4934627
Maybe someday... this does have potential to be expanded.

4934710
I think I'll have to. It would be fun.


I matched her eye roll. “Come on, this is no time for sleeping. Look how high the sun is.” I pointed at the window.
The slow fall of my finger traced the sun's abnormally fast descent below the horizon.
“There. Nighttime.” Celestia yawned. “No moon today. Too tired.”
Well that was going to make some astronomers' lives more interesting than usual. Sunset at five thirty.



It's funny what takes people out of a story: sure it's crack, and indeed I am not bothered at all by the concept of the Princess of Equestria just showing up in someone's bedroom in this universe and drinking their Fanta, but gets beaten-up-by-big-bug Celestia swinging around 2 times 10^27th tons of mass at what is possibly faster than the speed of light and eight minutes in the past?

Nope nope NOPE!!! :twilightangry2: :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiecrazy: :pinkiecrazy:

4934947 Well, it's a little video series called Turnabout Storm. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yUDfoZGhLjE (I think it's 7 and a half hours long):derpytongue2:

4934969
Silly, Celestia just turned the Earth. :trollestia:
That makes it much easier to believe. Much less massive object to move, less speed, and it makes the 8 minutes in the past bit irrelevant. :twilightsmile:

4934974
Oh, that. :rainbowlaugh:

4934974

it's also worth watching because it's really well done

and theres a word version on this site of it.

As for this story. Very nicely done one shot I would enjoy seeing more of this or more in this vein.

4935017
Yeah, I think I'll have to make more of this.

So, Celestia some got to the human world via what I'm saying is the computer and the first thing she did was take a nap, because, logic. :facehoof:

Well written. Straight up.

9 out of 10. :trollestia:

4935013

Yeah, the whole "accelerated/decelerated at 300 times the force of gravity" should be no trouble at all. Hopefully she's got a good grip on all those air molecules - the supersonic winds otherwise might be a bit of a problem. :pinkiehappy:

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