• Member Since 9th Sep, 2012
  • online

little big pony

Remember kids, eat your veggies, go to school, and murder all your enemies.... I murder all my enemies....


Celestia thought that the next two weeks were going to be a nice get together with her niece and her sister, no irritating nobles, no magical end of the world nonsense, and most importantly, no Blueblood.

She did NOT expect a weird creature calling itself the Cuddle Bandit harassing her. Now Luna's in love and Cadence can't stop laughing.

.... Why can't her vacations ever be normal?

Thanks to Tstyson, MasterFrasca99, Astrocity, and Procket12 for all of the stuff they did.

A watchmen-ish silly fic by a silly, silly author. If your looking for a story with a plot or one that is well-written then read this one.

And nope, I'm not being sarcastic....

No, really...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 209 )

I heard things about this story from OEE.

Frightening things. I'll have to give it a read.

This was relentlessly stupid, and I loved it.

Take a moustache. :moustache:

trucking beautiful


Seriously this story should get 10 million likes and negative 1000 down votes!

This story is pure win. I wish Celestia would embrace the cuddles though.


Just... Alright. Not bad.

Effort was put into this. Not bad at all.

~Skeeter The Lurker

“Should we acquire some guards to join us sister?” Luna asked, not seeing Celestia’s grin.

chose to angrily pace back and forth on the waiting dock.

Maybe platform would be a better word for that?

“Thank you for that, Captain, I do not like having my face taken away from me”

“Why and the hay are you even around right now?

Remove the and.

Didn’t break in, been staying in the castle.”

Castle's big, lots of empty rooms.”

“This is the threat to Equestria,

Princess?” She asked the still smiling diarch, how happily nodded at her.

You need to remove the break (is this the right term?) from this.

I'm sorry I did this, but I just want to help. :applecry:


This was pretty good, in a silly kind of way. :pinkiehappy:

Hmmmm, if the Cuddle Bandit marries Luna, then he would have to stay in the castle and Celestia would have no choice but to put up and interact with him, Slowly he'll wear away at her........ slowly.......

Why has this end come to us so swiftly.
Its so beautiful.

Can you ... make a sequal?

Doctor, I have a severe case of the LOL's for the past two hours! I can barely breathe...!
Tell my friends that I hate them.

Great story, any ideas for a stupid silly sequel?

ImsohappyrightnowImsohappyrightnowImsohappyrightnow :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Adorably fun. Could use a proof edit though. Yew half two many homophones inn they're.

hs0003 #14 · Oct 14th, 2013 · · 1 ·

Sequel! :flutterrage:
He never finished his goal! Celestia must embrace the cuddling :pinkiehappy:

Okay, first, that was the most hilariously stupid thing I've ever seen.

Second, why do all of the comments have two dislikes?

Because some childish people have brought it upon themselves to hit that button for no apparent reason.

Hehehehahahahahahahaha!!! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

This needs to be continued ... the cuddles cannot stop! EMBRACE THE CUD-ah to heck with it.

What a silly story.

That was ridiculously silly and I loved every minute of it.
Well, except the ending. That bit was a tad disappointing. But the rest was great!


Please please please please do a sequel. Perhaps he targets Ponyville? Or targets specific background characters? Perhaps a villain rises amongst the ranks to stop his Cuddle Crusade?

this is one of those stories where the warnings are better off at the start of the story, cuddle bastard.

I have no idea why I like this. I must be mental.

I loved this so much i shall now commence the dance of joy.

The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of hatred and when the drains finally scab all over the vermin its drowning ponies, these cold-hearted, cuddleless nobles will look up and shout, “save us!”
…and I’ll look down and whisper, “no”.

...Is that a Watchmen reference?
Yup, that's a Watchmen reference...

That...was actually pretty good. Please continue...

This is truly a story only for those with a true sense of humor and silliness...


someone call the internet police

You need to make a sequel this has been the best story I've read so far so basically"MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage:

I was so extremely happy, until the ending, which left me sad and cuddleless :pinkiesad2: Enjoyed it regardless, upvoting

I demand more

We demand that you tell Cadence to keep her husband in the Crystal Empire! He should be in the kitchen like all good husbands.

That sounds familiar. I'm not sure where I've heard it, but I know I saw something like this before.

Also, the cuddle bandit is the only human I'm okay with going into ponies' beds. Also Luna X Cuddle Bandit is best ship.

Why do so many comments have thumbs down when they're just saying whether or not they enjoyed it? Even the constructive criticism comment was thumbed down. :rainbowhuh:

Oh my God, this was so funny! It was cute, funny, had just enough non cute and funny parts, you really need to do a sequel to this. THE CUDDLES CAN NOT BE STOPPED!! EMBRACE THE CUDDLES! And embrace the cute!!!! Random moustache! :moustache:

More pls.


ok... the warning couldn't have been more fitting, i was giggling the entire story :rainbowlaugh:

i dare the The Cuddle Bandit to cuddle the most dangerous of all, i dare him to cuddle Discord :pinkiecrazy:

This was so cute and adorable, I think I just got diabetes.
...I am okay with that. :heart:

that twerking zombies would appear from a botched conjuration spell

i hope heads rolled for that fuck up.

This sums up my feelings quite nicely (if a bit too angrily)

Please continue.

Ahahaha! This is absolutely fantastic! :pinkiehappy:

so... when's the sequel coming out?

Tis an amazing cuddly story full of fun... AND CUDDLES!!! I MUST HAVE MOAR!!! :duck:

Freaking aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiufhitybseitbausyetbyoetktalhk7t7tt;at8lt.;tohtaot[pottptjrpitjr'og.t[0.atrt/.tt.patiehtoihat,taoitjtiohanpintta


For could not keep a straight face when reading this. It was hilarious. And his weapons are teddy bears which makes it that much funnier.

Login or register to comment