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Remember kids, eat your veggies, go to school, and murder all your enemies.... I murder all my enemies....

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In the best case scenario, diplomacy is a long, complicated, and often frustrating undertaking. This is not the best case scenario.




Picture is from silfoe

First Published
20th Mar 2017
Last Modified
20th Mar 2017
#1 · 4d, 3h ago · · ·

*looking at the tag*....You just earn it my friend, but i applause the idea :twilightsmile:

#2 · 4d, 3h ago · 56 · ·

Awww, Celly's just eh, horsing around.

...I'll see myself out.

#3 · 4d, 3h ago · · ·

:rainbowlaugh: Hilarious and perfect. 10/10.

#4 · 4d, 3h ago · 6 · 2 ·

Would a romance tag make it bestiality? Kinda like a human and a bonobo.

...I'll go sit in my corner...

#5 · 4d, 2h ago · 3 · ·

What is kinda funny and sad is this is the most likely how first contact would go with EQ. :derpytongue2:

#6 · 4d, 2h ago · · ·

>>8038052 you are lucky you are a honey badger

#7 · 4d, 1h ago · 1 · ·

>>8038052

....

//Throws pun rock

#8 · 4d, 1h ago · 2 · ·

Just wait until the salt licks are brought out. Then it will be a real party.

#9 · 4d, 57m ago · 6 · ·

>>8038052 Neigh, my friend. Always ride it out.:raritywink:

#10 · 4d, 27m ago · · ·

>>8038058 I lol'd harder than i should have.

#11 · 4d, 6m ago · 24 · ·

*Sees the name of the two people*

Mind: BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL! Bill Nye the Science Guy!

#12 · 4d, 5m ago · 29 · ·

“NEIGH! HE ATTEMPTED TO SAMPLE THE ROYAL COOKIES!”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I am so using that! :rainbowlaugh:

#13 · 4d, 1m ago · 24 · ·

One of the creatures, spitting a brownish liquid into an empty Coca-Cola can, nodded his head.

“Mornin’,” he replied.

And the guy isn't giving a crap that he's talking to a brightly colored horse. I'm impressed.:pinkiesmile:

#14 · 3d, 23h ago · 8 · ·

:rainbowhuh: What happened to Celestia's wings?

>>8038519 Their father was his biggest fan. The day he found out he was having a second son he could name "Nye"? The happiest day of his life.

#15 · 3d, 23h ago · 4 · ·

SOMEBODY GET ME MY CHARLES FOSTER KANE GIFS, BECAUSE THIS WRITER DESERVES SOME APPLAUSE!

#16 · 3d, 23h ago · · ·

Aw, I was hoping there would be more chapters!

#18 · 3d, 23h ago · 5 · 4 ·

Bill leaned with Celestia as the two weaved around a barrel. He seemed completely at ease on top of the alicorn, holding her reins confidently as he urged her on.

Yay, an actual pony ride! :pinkiehappy:

I like it when humans get a chance to ride on their backs as depicted in the quote.

I'm not one for when they have... inappropriate relationships, though. Glad it didn't come to that. I don't approve of the sensual content, but otherwise this was pretty good.

#19 · 3d, 22h ago · · ·

Phlegmatic is a thing in some traditional areas.  This is evidently a county where the Fall Fair has a competition for out-blase-ing each other :rainbowlaugh:

Excellent story.   It ends sooner than it has to is my only complaint.  I am curious for the logic that the ponies smell like humans.  I don't doubt you have a good reason to posit that...

#20 · 3d, 22h ago · 16 · ·

“NEIGH! HE ATTEMPTED TO SAMPLE THE ROYAL COOKIES!”
:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

#21 · 3d, 22h ago · 5 · ·

>>8038677

Makes sense to me, at least compared to wild horses... ponies live in houses and while they might be out and about, they're still living in cities and villages, they take baths as evidenced by the alligator in the tub, and for the most part, they aren't going to pick up the smells associated with living in a barn and grazing in a field. That said... these humans themselves might pick up that smell... but then we also still smell like humans that live in a house and interact with a barn. The ponies smell like something that lives in a house and don't interact with a barn, so even if the base "pony" and "human" aspects of the scent are different, the environmental impact is similar.

I might also just be overthinking his.

#22 · 3d, 21h ago · · ·

This is hilarious! Right down to the Bill Nye the Science Guy joke. :rainbowlaugh:

#23 · 3d, 19h ago · 16 · ·

NEIGH! HE ATTEMPTED TO SAMPLE THE ROYAL COOKIES!

Holy moly, how is everyone so good at comedy? This is definitely worthy of a follow.

#24 · 3d, 18h ago · 2 · ·

>>8038532 We hicks dun git riled up o'er lil stuff like that.

But we ain't too happy 'bout them grey aliens what keeps sticking probes up our keesters. :ajsmug:

#25 · 3d, 18h ago · · ·

>>8038519

Yeah, I was going to joke if there was a "science guy" in the house because of that myself. :rainbowlaugh:

#26 · 3d, 17h ago · 18 · ·

"How progressive.."

I lost it right there.

10/10.

#27 · 3d, 16h ago · · ·

>>8039411 LOL!

Personally, I'd at least have my jaw dropped if something like Celestia appeared and started talking to me. I'd also be questioning my sanity. I'd say out loud "Yep. I've finally snapped."

#29 · 3d, 14h ago · · ·

Add to Read Later list.

Finish reading story.

Remove from Read Later list.

Add to favorites.

:pinkiehappy:

#30 · 3d, 14h ago · 2 · ·

Okay, this made my night.  Thank you.

#31 · 3d, 14h ago · 2 · ·

Most hilarious moment ever:rainbowlaugh:

Good story, however, I still can't believe it even exists.

#32 · 3d, 8h ago · · ·

Best ride she's had in a long while. :rainbowlaugh:

#33 · 3d, 5h ago · 2 · ·

Makes me think of a View Askew version of Immanuel's "Twilight Makes First Contact."  Sure hope that story starts updating again.

I foresee more cultural misunderstandings.  The Princesses seem to have landed near Pittsburgh, so there's a good chance that they'll order a salad and get a nice mix of greens and veggies...topped with a steak.

#35 · 3d, 5h ago · · ·

That went better than I thought it would have.

#36 · 3d, 4h ago · · ·

is there going to be more?

i like your story.

#37 · 3d, 4h ago · · ·

weeds with pretty purple flowers...

What is that, hen bit? Edible and kinda like spinach.

Zyrian
Story Approver
#38 · 3d, 47m ago · 11 · ·

I...Uh.... Okay

#39 · 3d, 45m ago · 14 · ·

“I’m Bill. That one right there is Nye,”

HA

#40 · 2d, 23h ago · · ·

>>8038052

SEINFELD BASS

#41 · 2d, 21h ago · · ·

>>8038519

Eh, even though he's a fellow alumnus, I've always been more partial to Beakman Place.

#42 · 2d, 17h ago · · ·

>>8039687 I'd know that's not the case since I lost it LOOOOOOONG ago!

I think when I was like, 5 or something.  :pinkiecrazy:

#43 · 2d, 14h ago · 7 · ·

He could be in heat

No. Maybe this could be heat season for the ponies on earth. Maybe Luna herself is in heat but uses magic to control it because it's an inconvenience. That I could buy. Stallions react to heat. They don't go into it.

#44 · 2d, 8h ago · 13 · ·

The names ruin it. I can't fap to the thought of Bill Nye teaching me horse anatomy.

#45 · 2d, 1h ago · 1 · ·

so, is celly..?

:twilightoops:

#46 · 1d, 22h ago · · ·

Mistakes Were Made

Like Megapone and Cloperella.

Also, good story, mate. Nice and funny.

#47 · 1d, 22h ago · · ·

>>8042857 Okay, was that a joke or were you really looking to jack off your inanimate carbon rod, I say for the sake of making a Simpson reference?

#48 · 1d, 22h ago · · ·

He could be in heat, Luna.

Facepalm.jpg

Ol’ Joel likes to be ridden, but he’s smart enough to know that every once in awhile, a fella's gotta mount up on another horse.

a while

(awhile = for a while)

----

This is how it should have ended with "ponies" not knowing proper horse behaviour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bdsWOhU4G0

#49 · 1d, 17h ago · · ·

>>8043976

>>8043974

Sounds like you've got shit taste in porn m8

#50 · 1d, 11h ago · · ·

Bill & Nye. I see what you did there :rainbowlaugh:

Even though it's the exact opposite of science in this case, but who cares?

Celestia was in for one hell of a surprise. And she's still having barrels of fun. Luna sounds envious.

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