• Member Since 9th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

little big pony

Remember kids, eat your veggies, go to school, and murder all your enemies.... I murder all my enemies....


For as long as the citizens of Ponyville had been graced with the presence of the apelien menace known as "Humans" they have wondered why they bothered wearing clothes. Today they learn.

A stupid idea that I had a couple of days ago. Thanks to Ephemeral and various Anons for editing.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 150 )

“The real lesson here is if you want to walk around without any clothes on, have a body that’s worth showing,”

Harsh as it may be, truer words have never been spoken.

That was impresive.
The words were so eloquent. And I didnt expect such glorious effort!!!

The only visible mistake was the "youre" u typed. But other than that, I am stunned at your talent!
Thank you for the smile!

I needed this. Thank you, it was perfect.

This was the best.

This was entertaining and I like the Warhammer references.

It's hard to make me laugh aloud at the best of times, I usually just chuckle a little, but this! This made me snort and giggle like a school girl. Good job!

Cain had had enough of his stoic brother, enough of his quiet smugness at his own self-assured superiority, and he would bring it to an end by his own hand. With the Power of the Storms, Cain would kill his brother Abel, but first, he had to ensure the mighty weapons' capabilities. If they could harm his own magnificent physique, than they would be more than enough to strike his scrawny brother down.

That is a lesson that a LOT of people should actually learn :rainbowlaugh:

I would murder for another chapter...

This was a wonderful read. Thank you.

you and me baby, we ain't nothing but mammals,
So let's do it like they do it on discovery channel.~

If only I was in Abel's shoes. :raritydespair:

God dammit, this was funny!

'The advetures of Cain and Abel'... I'd pay money to see these idiots in Ponyville.

That and the Apples iron grip on the market meant that even if the fruit could be exported it wouldn’t be a very good idea. Not if you wanted to keep your legs unbroken anyways.

:twilightoops: Are the Apples a mafia-like family?

This is one of the most hilarious stories that I have read this year :rainbowlaugh:

Good read! :moustache:

Ok, that perfect sense Anon.

You know, I saw the lack of a Sex tag and was really expecting a parody.

Nope. It was exactly what it said on the cover.

Heh. Loved this. It'd be great to have a series of recurring one-shots showing what these two get into. I'd read the heck out of that.

The barest of smiles came to Abel’s face as Twilight deflated. “The real lesson here is if you want to walk around without any clothes on, have a body that’s worth showing,” he said, flipping to the next page of his newspaper.

That's actually a very true statement a lot of people should be following more.

As in, I've seen some crazy people wearing stuff that really doesn't fit their body type.

Never in his life had he met a stallion that would only drink plain, bitter coffee in the mornings until he met the human standing before him.

That should be only way to drink coffee.

“Mornings are the work of an angry god that wishes nothing but pain and hardship for his or her creations.”

These are the words of a wise man

He was a sleepy-eyed creature, who, despite his size, garnered no fear from any pony in the bakery. Many of the ponies, even the ones that have traveled here, knew this being by name and reputation. His name was Abel E. Mous, apelien, back alley wise man, and a devout cynic.

Cain. E Mous, brother of Abel I. Mous, professional freeloader and lazy man, smiled down at the alicorn, his hands on his hips and his chest puffed out in what might have been pride.

Why did Abel change his middle name in the middle of the story?

And so the great unclean one has been thwarted and the ruinous powers would have to wait another day until they could finally invade beautiful ponyland and all thanks to "Sexy-Ass" Abel who saved us in the name of the god-emperor.

God this story was awesome. xD

Is there such a thing as a body worth showing? Aren't all human bodies disgusting by default?

This was by far one of my faverate stories on here.

“Mornings are the work of an angry god that wishes nothing but pain and hardship for his or her creations.”

Did Celestia start drinking black coffee in the mornings too? :)

This story was on /mlp/ with the names of the humans changed around

If you're a prude maybe.

That was great!

And then Abel gets a harem.


please make more.

God. Damn.

Beautiful. I busted a gut when I was reading this. Immediately put on my Favorites.

Please continue a story with these characters.

That was glorious! Would you consider making a sequel of sorts?

7857642 Loved this short little fic; also, that it seems Anonymous had some kids... :twilightblush:

You really should just say you copy and pasted it, people would get pissed if they cared. Of course nobody really does because the guy who posted it was anonymous anyway.

I'm the guy that posted it on /mlp/. This isn't the first time that I've crossposted

Abel, with the newest edition of Gabby Gums under an arm, did not look very excited by the prospect of discount muffins. In fact, it looked like he was ready to fall asleep.

We just found Eeyore from winnie the pooh :rainbowderp:

Abel’s lips twitched slightly upwards in what might have been considered a smile. “You too, Mr. Cake,” he said, grabbing his coffee and slapping his newspaper on the counter. “Don’t work too hard. I most certainly don’t intend to.”

Yep, Definitly Eeyore.....:facehoof:

He bent forward a little more, giving everyone an eyeful.

“Sweet Celestia!”

“My eyes!”

“Kill it! Kill it with fire!”


:rainbowlaugh: Hahaha, so much truth there near the end, heheh.
Wow... lawdy...

A nice read.


No, and you won't ask again if you knows what's good for ya, see?

Except there's no way to prove that, but i'll believe you because I like you.


I’d like to remind your muzzle-height to his Johnson, Twi

you are

“Then I suppose that there’s nothing we can do,” he announced. “Father Nurgle has unleashed a Great Unclean One in our midst. Chaos will sweep over all and we shall be tasked with joining the great dance.”

Father Nurgle



It's official. This is now in my top ten most random Fimfics I've ever read.

This is the first, possibly last, easily best Human story I've ever read.

Except... ponies do wear clothes. Often. Indeed, Ponyville is one of the few places we see in the show where clothes-wearing is almost entirely foregone.

I laughed, far, far harder than I probably should have. Two thumbs up.

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